The BLTS Archive - Visions
by ILuvKate

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B'Elanna, feeling restless and edgy, entered the mess hall and headed
over to the replicator for a cup of coffee. As she retrieved the
steaming cup from the replicator pad, she spied the Captain's solitary
figure in a chair facing one of the viewports. B'Elanna's mind went
back to the delusion she'd experienced while under the Bothan's
influence, and she experienced a wash of discomfort.

She loved Kathryn Janeway with an intensity that she had never felt
for another person she had been involved with. Kathryn was her heart
and the joy of her soul, and she couldn't imagine life without her in
it.

That was why the damned vision bothered her so much. Why did she have
a delusion in which she had sex with Chakotay, when it was Kathryn she
loved and slept with. The vision had shaken her badly and she had had
a sleepless night last night. She stood drinking her coffee
thoughtfully, as she studied Kathryn sitting and staring out the
viewport.

Kathryn, as though aware of B'Elanna's scrutiny, turned in her chair
and saw her and smiled in welcome. Feeling her heart lift a little,
B'Elanna walked over to her. Kathryn held out a hand, and B'Elanna
took it, wrapping her fingers around Kathryn's. She bent, brushing
Kathryn's lips with hers. They soft-pedalled displays of affection in
public, but it was nice that they could acknowledge their
relationship, even on that level. B'Elanna sighed as she sat down
across from Kathryn, who arched a questioning eyebrow at her.

"What's wrong, my love?"

"Kathryn," B'Elanna began uncomfortably, taking a hasty, fortifying
gulp of her coffee, "I want to tell you about the delusion I had under
the Bothan's influence." Kathryn just gazed at her steadily, no
censure in her eyes. B'Elanna studied her coffee cup for a minute as
though it held the answer to the cosmos. Then she related the delusion
she'd had about Chakotay. She didn't look at Kathryn while telling it,
but stared at the coffee cup clenched in her hands. She came to the
end of her tale and waited for Kathryn's reaction. When a couple of
minutes had passed with only silence from Kathryn, she braced herself
and raised her head to look at her.

Kathryn's eyes were bright with laughter and she was grinning broadly.
A chuckle escaped, making her shoulders shake. B'Elanna stared at her,
nonplussed, and not a little annoyed. She didn't see what in all hell
was so damned funny about it.....

Kathryn noticed B'Elanna's surprise and, belatedly, her irritation.
Hastily she swallowed her laughter and composed her face,
straightening in her chair. She cleared her throat.

"I'm sorry, darling," she said with quick contrition. "You're
obviously quite upset about this delusion, and here I am laughing
about it."

"Why on earth," B'Elanna said very precisely and in a dangerously calm
voice, "would I be upset about this delusion?" She rose abruptly, her
fingers clenching around the coffee cup. The cup buckled under her
grip, and Kathryn swallowed. She rose, too.

"Darling," she said quickly, "I said I was sorry. I didn't realize--"

"No." B'Elanna's voice was clipped and icy. "You certainly didn't."
Without another word, she tossed the crumpled coffee cup onto the
table and stalked out of the mess hall. Kathryn stared after the
stiff, angry figure and then turned to look at the savaged coffee cup.
Gods, Kathryn, she berated herself, I bet you could make her really
mad if you tried real hard. She rubbed a hand down her face. Now how
am I going to fix this? she thought.

B'Elanna was boiling by the time she reached her quarters. The
absolute last reaction she had expected from Kathryn was laughter.
She'd expected anger, hurt, commiseration, but not laughter. Never
that. Which just went to show just where this relationship stood.

She picked up a metal goblet and hurled it across her quarter with all
her strength against the far wall. The object smacked into the wall,
carving a chunk out of it, and clattered to the floor, dented and
twisted, rolling back toward her where it came to a stop against the
toe of her boot. B'Elanna glowered at it as though the thing were at
fault for being so fragile, and then snatched it up and threw it
again. She paid no attention to its path this time, whirling to stomp
over to the viewport where she stared blindly out at the passing
stars. Her rage boiled up again and she snatched up something sitting
on the table near her hand. She cocked her arm as though to throw it,
and then reason took over. Drawing a deep, calming breath, she set the
object back in its place and then straightened, wrapping her arms
about herself as hurt rose in her to replace the anger. Apparently she
placed more value on this relationship than Kathryn did, judging by
her reaction to her confession. Tears formed in her eyes. Already, it
felt like there was an aching, lonely loss. Already, Kathryn felt
gone, and the sensation dried her throat and set her heart to
pounding. She couldn't imagine her bed without Kathryn in it, and the
prospect of life without her yawned like a menacing chasm before her.

The memory of Kathryn's amusement suddenly popped up in her mind again
and she felt a wash of rage that burned away her tears and hurt. Her
fists curled into balls again. Gods, she'd always hated being laughed
at, and to be laughed at by her lover after confessing something so
intimate.....She actually growled as she turned away from the
viewport.

The doorchime sounded. "Go the bloody hell away!" she yelled, not
caring who was at the door. In answer, the door opened to reveal
Kathryn, dressed in civvies, hands by her side, her hair loose.
B'Elanna stared at her silhouetted in the doorway, as a swirl of
emotions surged through her. For several long minutes the two women
stared at each other silently across the gulf of mere feet that
separated them. Kathryn looked away from B'Elanna and took in the
holes in the walls and the dented goblet lying on the floor. Then she
looked back at B'Elanna.

"Rather than wrecking the quarters," she said quietly, "Punch my
lights out. I'm the object of your anger, not this." She gestured at
the damage. B'Elanna stared at her smolderingly.

"Don't tempt me," she said harshly. "But I have no wish to spend the
next sixty-nine years in the brig for punching the captain."

"The captain's not here," Kathryn said steadily. She gestured at her
clothes. "As you see, I'm not in uniform. I'm just Kathryn." B'Elanna
swallowed convulsively, fighting tears that clogged her throat, her
hurt returning. She tensed as Kathryn walked toward her.

"If it'll fix things," Kathryn said in the same steady tone, "Take a
sock at me, B'Elanna. Or two."

"Aren't you the one who's been trying to tell me that violence isn't
the answer to problems?" B'Elanna said shakily. Kathryn's smile was
crooked and sent a pang through B'Elanna's heart.

"Yes, but in this case, it might be justified," Kathryn said,
chagrined. "I had no business laughing at you."

"I'm not going to hit you, Kathryn," B'Elanna said tiredly, turning
back to the viewport. "but it just might be a good idea for you to
leave right now."

"Don't send me away." Kathryn's voice so eerily echoed the panic
B'Elanna was feeling about losing her, that it shocked her to her toes
and she turned back around to face Kathryn.

"I don't want you to go away," she whispered brokenly. "Oh, gods, I
don't ever want you to go away from me." She could no longer keep the
panic from threading through her voice, and pain flashed across
Kathryn's face. She closed the distance between them in two steps and
seized B'Elanna by the shoulders.

Their mouths collided with sweet fury, and tongues sought tongues,
coiling hungrily around each other, slippery and delicious. They
kissed until oxygen deprivation drove them apart and they stood,
gasping for breath, eyes locked, Kathryn's hands gripping B'Elanna's
shoulders, B'Elanna's hands grasping Kathryn's arms.

"Come on," B'Elanna said hoarsely, still fighting to get her breath
back. "Let's go to the bedroom." Without another word, she swept
Kathryn up in her arms and carried her to the bedroom. She set her on
her feet and they undressed each other, removing each garment slowly
and seductively until they both stood naked, each inflamed by the
other's eyes on them. Kathryn drew B'Elanna close in a tender embrace
and kissed her hungrily, but tenderly, her tongue probing sweetly, and
accepting the answering thrust of B'Elanna's. She slid her hands down
B'Elanna's back, feeling the outline of her powerful muscles under
smooth, taut skin. She slid her hands over her lover's firm, round
buttocks, kneading them gently.

B'Elanna caressed the soft, silky sides of Kathryn's breasts, circling
them with her fingers briefly before moving back to stroke up and down
Kathryn's sides. As they continued to stroke, fondle, and caress,
their passion mounted. Wet sex was pressed against wet sex, and thighs
quivered. They dropped to the bed, still kissing, and fondling and
Kathryn rolled on top of B'Elanna, twining their fingers together and
pinning her to the mattress. B'Elanna made a move as though to break
loose from Kathryn's grip, and then relaxed, feeling a searing wash of
arousal flood her at being pinned, however tenuously.

Kathryn nuzzled B'Elanna's throat with gentle licking kisses that made
the lithe body under her tremble. She moved down to swirl her tongue
around the soft, slightly salty nipples, feeling them go erect against
her tongue. She sucked on them until B'Elanna cried out and then
releasing her lover's hands, moved down between her thighs, spreading
them so that B'Elanna was open to her.

"Gods, Kathryn-n-n-n!" B'Elanna cried out. "I need you! Please!" She
lifted her hips, as though to urge Kathryn's tongue into her, and
Kathryn obliged, licking the length of B'Elanna's sex with hard, firm
strokes. Parting B'Elanna wider with her fingers, she found the red,
swollen clit and attacked it with her tongue. Taking it in her mouth
she sucked on it hard.and felt B'Elanna come violently, but did not
stop her ministrations, eliciting a second and third orgasm from the
writhing body under her mouth.

Almost before the last spasm left her body, B'Elanna had flipped
Kathryn on her back, going for her breasts. Kathryn arched her back to
press herself more deeply into the voracious mouth, feeling the fire
between her legs so intense it was almost painful. B'Elanna laved her
breasts with lips and tongue until Kathryn thought she would scream
with the need for release, but before her control slipped, she felt
B'Elanna slide fingers into her, stroking her clit vigorously, causing
Kathryn to pump her hips in rhythm with each stroke. While she stroked
in and out with her fingers, B'Elanna bent and began tonguing the hard
swollen nub of Kathryn's clit, making Kathryn yell. Fingers and tongue
sent Kathryn over the edge twice, before B'Elanna removed both,
leaning on one elbow to watch her lover come with waves of pleasure
cascading over her face. They both lay, drenched in sweat and love
juices, letting their heartbeats slow to normal, and bodies quiet.
Then B'Elanna moved up to curl into Kathryn's welcoming embrace.

"By the gods, Kathryn," she murmured. "You make my body sing."

"I have a wonderful instrument to play on," Kathryn replied, "so the
pleasure is all mine." They kissed briefly and then lay in contented
silence.

"Kathryn,"she said a few minutes later. "What was your delusion?" She
felt Kathryn sigh softly.

"My delusion was about Mark and my being unfaithful to him," Kathryn
said. A minute passed. "You can laugh if you want."

"Not a chance," B'Elanna said with feeling. "Not a chance."

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Copyright 1997 ILuvKate

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The End