The BLTS Archive - Live And Learn
by ILuvKate

---

Kathryn would rather not have gone on this particular away mission,
but she felt hemmed in and claustrophobic and felt a desperate need to
get off the ship. As luck would have it, this mission was the first
one to present itself. She had been stalling for quite a while,
puttering in her quarters (she sighed at the singular pronoun), and
then she found an excuse to go to her Ready Room and dither there
uselessly for as long as she could and not look ridiculous. There were
certain advantages to being Captain, she thought as she finally exited
the Ready Room and headed for Transporter Room One where the rest of
the Away Team, B'Elanna, Susan Nicoletti, and Ensign Warren waited.

The pain of B'Elanna's departure was still fresh, even though nine
months had passed since they'd had that horrible discussion agreeing
to dissolve their relationship and live apart. Kathryn could still
feel the hot, choking sensation of tears in her throat, even now,
although she had pushed down her feelings of loss and despair and
thrown herself into the duties of command. It had happened and there
was no going back. Life went on, dull and spiritless though it was.
She was even getting to the place where she could get one or two hours
of sleep at night, though not often. Her bed was too big and too
empty. She frequently got up from it after tossing and turning for
hours on end and went to her couch where more often than not, she fell
into an exhausted doze near morning.

She entered Transporter Room One, her Captain's face firmly in place.
"Is everything ready for departure?" she inquired crisply of no one in
particular, as though they had not been waiting on her for nearly an
hour.

"Yes, Captain, " Lt. Susan Nicoletti replied, and Kathryn nodded
curtly, glancing at her and then away. This was the woman for whom
B'Elanna had left her, and it took every ounce of command discipline
she possessed not to show her true feelings. This was going to be pure
hell, she thought, stepping up onto the transporter pads. She had not
looked at B'Elanna, for that was no easier. The rest of the Away team
joined her on the pads and she nodded at the transporter chief.

"Energize," she said. The familiar tingling blue beams enveloped them
and they dematerialized. As soon as they were released by the
transporter on the planet's surfaces, they removed tricorders and
phasers from their belts and began scanning.

"Detecting an encampment bearing 546 point 7, one-half kilometer from
our position," Susan Nicoletti announced. "Am not detecting weapons of
any power." Kathryn made no reply as she walked over to a small
boulder and squatted down in front of it, examining some marks on its
anterior surface. Lightly she traced her fingers over the gouges that
exposed newer rock than the boulder's surface. It appeared that slices
or shavings of the rock material had been removed, probably with a
harder substance. She glanced at her tricorder's read-out and nodded
to herself.

"I doubt they have any kind of energy weapons," she noted, rising and
tugging her uniform jacket into place. "I would surmise that they use
bows, arrows, and spears for defense." She gestured toward the scarred
rock. "They've removed pieces of this rock with some kind of hard
substance, and the configuration indicates that the pieces are
intended to be used as arrow- and spear-heads." B'Elanna agreed.

"Yes," she concurred. "There are some pieces of sticks and limbs over
there." She glanced at her own tricorder. "However, the rocks here are
capable of being sharpened to the point that they'd be as sharp as any
steel weapon. They're extremely hard and dense."

"Noted," Kathryn said, the sound of B'Elanna's voice sending a
shivering pang through her chest. Get a grip, Kathryn, she scolded
herself sternly. "Be alert." She keyed in a sequence on her
tricorder's touchpad. "Let's locate this tellerium and get out of here
as quickly as possible." The team fanned out, scanning with
tricorders.

"Captain," Ensign Warren called to her after a few minutes. "I'm
detecting a sizeable tellerium deposit about eighty-seven meters from
our position."

"Great," Kathryn said with alacrity. "Let's go, people." They headed
out with B'Elanna at point, weapons out, moving cautiously, in single
file through a narrow rocky passage to emerge into a flat expanse of
land ringed by low hills and some caves. Warren, eyes on his
tricorder, pointed to a spiky outcropping near the top of one of the
higher hills and they veered in the direction he indicated.

"Captain!" B'Elanna called to her and she turned toward her to see the
Chief Engineer pointing. Her blood raced as she saw the group of
natives, dressed in surprisingly neat and tailored leather clothing,
armed with bows and spears. Their skins were a curious blue color,
their hair an odd golden hue. They stood watching the Away team,
shifting and moving restlessly among themselves.

"Damn," Kathryn swore softly. "Let's get out of he--" Her hand was
moving toward her commbadge when B'Elanna fell with a harsh cry, an
arrow that had come flying out of seemingly nowhere, in her chest.
"Let's go!" Kathryn cried, pointing toward a cave and veering toward
the fallen B'Elanna as a veritable hail of arrows sang through the air
in their direction. "Nicoletti!" she barked. "Move it!" B'Elanna's
lover had started in B'Elanna's direction at the same time Kathryn
had. Her eyes locked with Kathryn's. "Move it, Lieutenant!" Kathryn
hissed. Her face tortured, Nicoletti turned and followed Warren who
was sprinting toward the cave Kathryn had pointed out. Kathryn reached
the motionless B'Elanna, her mind numb except for one thought: to get
both of them to safety. With superhuman strength, she hauled B'Elanna
up and over her shoulder and ran clumsily and awkwardly toward the
cave. Arrows fell all around her as she zigzagged crazily toward the
cave. Warren had turned and started toward her but she stopped him
with one sharp command.

Suddenly, Susan Nicoletti, with a choked cry of agony, went spinning
off to the side, an arrow protruding from her right hip. Kathryn swore
to herself as she reached the cave's entrance. Warren helped her get
B'Elanna inside, and then Kathryn whirled and ran back out to retrieve
the fallen Nicoletti. Panting, she managed to seize the fallen
lieutenant and drag her to the cave. As she reached the mouth,
something ripped through her hair and the top of her scalp. Blood
poured down her face and into her eyes. Blind, she felt Warren help
her hold Nicoletti.

Inside the cave they put B'Elanna and Nicoletti on the sandy floor. As
Kathryn impatiently swabbed the blood out of her eyes with her sleeve,
Nicoletti struggled to a sitting position, and pulled the arrow from
her body.

"Lieutenant!" Kathryn remonstrated sternly. She muttered a curse as
more blood trickled down her forehead. Fiery stinging pain throbbed at
the top of her scalp, but she was oblivious to it. She scowled at
Nicoletti.

"It just barely went in, Captain," Nicoletti responded. "It's just a
surface wound. B'Elanna--" Her voice grew choked.

"Medikit," Kathryn said tersely, struggling with her own feelings.
Nicoletti fumbled with the small case, unslinging it from her shoulder
and handing it to the captain. Kathryn retrieved the medical tricorder
and moved the device over B'Elanna's chest from which blood poured at
an alarming rate. "Thank God, it's not lodged in her heart," Kathryn
muttered, turning to the medikit and taking some thick gauze pads from
it. With a pair of snips, she carefully cut away the grey turtleneck
from around the projecting shaft of the arrow. "Warren," she called
the ensign standing guard near the entrance with his phaser drawn.
"Can we hail the ship and transport out of here?"

"No, Captain," he replied. "The cave walls are blocking our comm
signal, and the transporter couldn't get a lock on us anyway."

"Nicoletti," Kathryn spoke to the white-faced woman across from her,
"if you can walk, go back into the cave and see if there's another way
out of here."

"Aye, Captain," Nicoletti said woodenly, rising stiffly and moving off
toward the back of the cave. Kathryn pressed the thick pads of gauze
to the welling blood spilling out around the arrow in B'Elanna's
chest. B'Elanna gave a faint moan of pain.

"C'mon, `Lanna," Kathryn said softly, fiercely, unconsciously using
the diminutive of B'Elanna's name as she had so often in the past,
"fight for me now. You are not going to die on me, you tough little
Klingon. Fight!" B'Elanna made a weak sound that could have been a
response or just a sound of pain, but Kathryn chose to see it as the
former. "That's right, Torres. You're going to fight. You understand
me?" This time B'Elanna made no response and Kathryn fought down her
fear. She wished she knew if she could remove the arrow or not, but
the tricorder did not give her enough information to know if it would
be better to leave it in place, or remove it. She decided to leave it
where it was, securing the dressing tightly in place with tape. The
edges of the tape around the arrow were seeped with red, and Kathryn
knew there was not much time left before B'Elanna had to have medical
attention or die. She shuddered. That would not happen.

"Warren," she spoke to the ensign. "Why didn't we detect the approach
of those aliens out there before we came up on them unaware?"

"I'm not sure, Captain," the ensign replied. "My tricorder readings
were going awry as we approached. Even though we were closer to the
tellerium, I couldn't detect it clearly. Something must be in the
rocks or soil in this particular spot that interfere with tricorder
readings."

"Figures," Kathryn muttered, scanning B'Elanna again with the medical
tricorder and hoping nothing was interfering with its readings.

"Tricorder seems to work okay inside the cave," Warren unconsciously
answered her worry. She glanced up at him as he used his to determine
how close the aliens might be getting to the cave. She glanced back
down at the medical tricorder readout, feeling a chill. B'Elanna's
blood pressure was dropping. She checked the bandage, but didn't see
an alarming increase in the bleeding around the arrow shaft. However,
internal bleeding might be worse.

"Captain" Nicoletti voice was strained and weak across the comm
channel. Kathryn tapped her badge.

"What's wrong, Nicoletti?" she asked.

"I--I've begun bleeding," Nicoletti replied. "I--I can't--"

"I'm sending Warren after you, Lieutenant," Kathryn said. "Don't move
around too much."

"Yes, ma'am," Nicoletti responded, the pain in her voice evident.
Kathryn turned and nodded to Warren who began to trot off in the
direction Nicoletti had gone. Kathryn put her fingers to the pulse in
B'Elanna's throat, not liking the clammy coldness of the younger
woman's skin. The pulse was thready.

"I'm telling you, Torres," Kathryn said grimly, "you're damn well not
going to die on me, so hang in there!" She thought she detected the
faintest movement of B'Elanna's eyelids, but she couldn't be sure.

She reached into the medikit and pulled out the package holding the
compressed survival blanket and opened it. As soon as she had expanded
the blanket, she covered B'Elanna with it, carefully tucking in the
edges around her body. She looked up as Warren returned, carrying
Nicoletti, who was pale and sweating. Warren set her down against a
rock near Kathryn and B'Elanna. Kathryn studied her critically.

"You shouldn't have pulled that arrow out without examining the
wound," she remarked, tossing another compressed blanket pack to the
other woman. "Let me look at it and see if we can stop the bleeding."

"Captain," Warren had picked up the arrow Nicoletti had pulled from
herself and was using the tricorder on it. Kathryn, rising to step
over to Nicoletti turned to him. "There's some kind of substance on
the arrowhead," he continued. "It causes the clotting factors in the
blood to weaken, making the victim bleed more freely." Kathryn caught
her breath. B'Elanna--. She turned back to the prone figure covered by
the silver survival blanket as Warren stepped over and put his
tricorder near the bandage. "Odd," he said. "It doesn't seem to be on
the arrowhead in B'Elanna."

"Thank God," Kathryn said fervently, "or maybe her Klingon blood
neutralizes it. In any case, let's be thankful for small favors." She
turned back to Nicoletti. "Warren, go back the way Nicoletti went and
see if you can find another way out of here." He nodded and started
off. "And don't *you* get hurt," she added. He grinned.

"No, ma'am," he promised and disappeared into the shadows. Kathryn
knelt beside Nicoletti and used scissors to cut away the torn edges of
her uniform trousers around the wound. She ran the medical tricorder
over the area.

"Hmmm," she said, examining the readout. "A hypospray of veridrine
just might counteract this poison." She rummaged in the medikit and
found a hypospray and a vial of veridrine. She injected Nicoletti and
then bandaged the wound tightly. "There," she said. "That should do
it."

"Thank you, Captain," Nicoletti replied. Kathryn nodded and rose to go
to the mouth of the cave, studying her tricorder. For some reason, the
aliens outside had not approached the cave. There could be any number
of reasons for that, she reflected, remembering on Hanon IV when
Chakotay and his team had run into a cave to escape the natives
pursuing them. Those natives had not come after them for a very good
reason: there was a man-eating monster in the cave. She devoutly hoped
there wasn't a similar creature in here. She tapped her commbadge.

"Janeway to Warren," she said.

"Warren here, Captain," came his prompt response and she relaxed.

"Have you found anything, Ensign?" she asked.

"I---"his voice trailed off for a few seconds and then resumed. "I
think I have found a small--" There was another pause. "--a small
opening in the ceiling back here," he continued. "Yes, it's an opening
to the outside, Captain, but it would have to be widened with a
phaser--"

"No," Kathryn said. "That's too risky. It could cause the ceiling to
collapse or worse. See if you can hail the ship from there." There was
silence while Warren complied. Kathryn waited, turning to look at the
still unconscious B'Elanna. She didn't look any better, but she didn't
look worse. She glanced at Nicoletti.

"Lt," she said, "I'm going to go back there where Warren is. Keep an
eye--," she paused. Stupid, Kathryn, she thought. As if she won't.
"--on things," she finished lamely." Without waiting for the other
woman's response, she turned and headed in the direction Warren had
gone.

She came upon Warren who stood balanced precariously on a rock slab
just under a small crack in the ceiling of the cave. He had a piece of
stone in his hand and was chipping away at the edges of the crack. He
turned as Kathryn came up.

"Captain," he greeted her, turning back to the task at hand. "I
thought I'd try to widen this crack a bit. Can't seem to get through
to the ship yet."

"Good work, Ensign," she said approvingly, "but do be careful. Your
perch doesn't look very solid."

"It's okay," he responded easily. "It's steadier than it looks." He
delivered a sharp blow to the edge of the crack and fragments of stone
rained down. "How's B'Elanna?"

"We've got to get her back to the ship, " Kathryn said. "Otherwise--"

"We're working on it," he assured her. "I think if I can make this
hole bigger, we can get a comm signal through."

"Carry on, then," Kathryn said. "But be careful," she admonished
again. He nodded, chipping away and she turned and headed back to
where B'Elanna lay.

She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Nicoletti cradling her
injured lover in her arms, stroking B'Elanna's pale, damp face, her
lips moving as she murmured softly to her. Kathryn's heart was
squeezed painfully by the tableau and she fought down the hard lump
rising in her throat. That would be me holding her in another time and
another place, she thought bitterly, a sudden wave of hatred for Susan
Nicoletti washing over her. She fought it down and composed her face
as she approached. Nicoletti looked up, her face ravaged and
B'Elanna's two lovers, past and present locked gazes. But neither said
anything and Kathryn walked over to stoop down, opening the medical
tricorder and scanning B'Elanna. There was no change.

"I have to *do* something." Nicoletti's voice shook. Kathryn kept her
eyes on the tricorder, and her tone neutral.

"I'm open to suggestions myself, Lt.," she said. "Warren's working on
widening the crack back there." Nicoletti got to her feet quickly,
suppressing a wince.

"I'll go help him!" she blurted.

"Very well," Kathryn said. "But be careful. Don't reopen your wound."

"The veredrine did the trick," Nicoletti said. "It's not even hurting
now." She got to her feet and started back to Warren's position.
Kathryn looked down at the pale face of the woman she loved--would
always and forever love, no matter what--and her heart twisted
painfully with loss. Of its own volition, her fingers reached out to
stroke the beloved cheek. Oh, my love, she thought sorrowfully. What
happened to us? Why did we lose each other?

---

"Computer," Kathryn said, as she exited the bedroom, belting her robe
around her slim waist, "what time is it?"

"21:47 hours," the computer responded. Two minutes later than the last
time I asked, Kathryn thought. B'Elanna still hadn't come in, and
Kathryn knew she'd been off duty since 1600 hours. Fighting down her
irritation and annoyance, Kathryn forced herself to walk casually over
to the replicator and call up a cup of Columbian supreme coffee,
taking the cup over to the couch and curling up in a corner to stare
out at the streaks of stars ribboning past Voyager. This was the third
night this week that B'Elanna had been hours late coming home. The
first night had been because of a genuine crisis in Engineering, but
the last two--well, Kathryn could only classify them as off having fun.
A dozen of the Engineering crew had gone to Sandrine's for pool, and
B'Elanna had gone with them. Kathryn had been mildly irritated because
after a long boring day spent going over supplies and provisions and
conferences about where to pick up more, she was in need of a quiet
night, alone, in the arms of the woman she loved. B'Elanna had been
late coming in and Kathryn had finally given up and gone to bed.
B'Elanna had awakened her climbing into bed, warm, naked and fragrant
from a shower and the subsequent lovemaking had quite adequately
erased Kathryn's pique.

Now, here she was gone for another night, Kathryn thought irritably,
drinking her coffee and glaring out at the innocent stars going by.
She knew B'Elanna was not in Engineering, because she had strolled
casually through Engineering at the end of her shift and the Chief
Engineer was nowhere to be found.

She fell asleep on the couch and was awakened by someone picking her
up in their arms and carrying her into the bedroom. She opened her
eyes sleepily to see B'Elanna smiling down at ther as she deposited
her on the bed. B'Elanna kissed her.

"Sorry I'm so late, sweetheart. Tom and Harry shanghaied me into a
game of poker."

"I see," Kathryn said, struggling hard to keep her tone neutral, but
she must not have succeeded entirely, for an expression ghosted across
B'Elanna's face. "I'm just glad you're here, darling," Kathryn said
quickly, drawing B'Elanna's face down to hers for a kiss. Of course it
didn't take long for them to catch fire and they made slow sweet love
and fell asleep contentedly curled up together.

For a few weeks, things were perfect. Neither of them were late coming
home, and there were no conflicts or arguments. Then B'Elanna began
coming home late several times, and once when she finally came in near
midnight, she was staggering drunk. Kathryn had forced herself to sit
up and wait, and stared at B'Elanna's swaying figure and unsteady
steps.

"Hi, sh-wee'heart," her mate slurred reaching out to hold on to a
chair back for balance. Her smile was loose.

"What's going on, lover?" Kathryn asked casually, laying down the
novel she'd been staring at for three hours. "You're drunk."

"Uh-huh," B'Elanna said serenely. "I am." She nodded vigorously as
though to convince Kathryn that she was.

"Why?" Kathryn asked conversationally. "You celebrating something?"
B'Elanna's mood swung abruptly to defensive.

"Maybe," she said sharply, "I jus' felt like tyin' one on. Y'know?"
Kathryn's head told her to shut up and quit while she was ahead, but
she didn't.

"Are you upset or depressed about something?" Kathryn asked, keeping
her tone friendly with an effort.

"Well," B'Elanna slurred sarcastically, "I *wasn't,* until I walked in
the door jus' now. Kathryn hurried to regroup.

"I'm sorry, darling," she apologized. "I don't mean to fuss--"

"Yes, you do," B'Elanna accused. "Yer jus' pissed 'cause I wasn't here
at yer beck an' call--"

"B'Elanna!" Kathryn exclaimed. "That is uncalled for! That's not true
and you know it!" They stared at each other across the room miserably,
the silence lengthening uncomfortably.

"Sorry," B'Elanna muttered sullenly, sounding not the least bit sorry.
Kathryn studied her for a long minute, and then rose and walked back
to the bedroom without another word. She took off her robe and climbed
into bed. She felt like bursting into tears, but she was damned if she
was going to let B'Elanna see how much she had hurt her.She heard the
doors to the quarters hiss open and close again, and curled into a
ball of misery in the bed.

From that point, things had begun to deteriorate. There was a rift
between them that grew imperceptibly wider with each passing week.
B'Elanna studiously stayed home every night, and they talked or sat
together reading just as they had always done, and their lovemaking
was just as wonderful as it had always been, but there was a rift.
Kathryn felt that B'Elanna was forcing herself to stay with her in the
evenings, but her pride wouldn't let her broach the subject, and of
course, B'Elanna did not.

Then after a few weeks, B'Elanna began to be late coming in again. It
was with relief that Kathryn thought of the first time, but when it
became a nightly occurrence, Kathryn didn't feel like putting on an
act when B'Elanna breezed in, as she had been doing in an effort to
repair the breach between them. Instead, she had gone on to bed, and
when B'Elanna had gotten under the sheets with her and started to
fondle her breast as a prelude to lovemaking, Kathryn had rebuffed
her.

"I'm not in the mood, B'Elanna," she'd said. There was no censure in
her tone, but she had felt B'Elanna stiffen in shocked surprise and
draw away. Resolutely, Kathryn had kept her back turned. It was the
hardest thing she'd ever done, but did not want B'Elanna to keep
smoothing things over by using sex to make Kathryn forget her
irritation.

B'Elanna forced the issue the next morning at breakfast as both of
them sat in stiff silence over breakfast, tired from a sleepless
night. Kathryn pushed her quiche around on the plate, not really
seeing it.

"I think we'd better talk about this," B'Elanna said. Kathryn looked
up at her inquiringly. "You know what I'm talking about," B'Elanna
answered the look. Kathryn sighed, and clasped her hands before her,
pushing her untouched breakfast away.

"You stay out til all hours, leave me alone here, and then you come in
and think everything will be just perfect if you make love to me, and
I'll forget how upset I was." She looked up at B'Elanna. "I don't
forget, B'Elanna. You act as though you don't want to be with me any
more." The green-eyed monster reared its ugly head and pushed Kathryn
past the point of no return. "Is there somebody else, B'Elanna?" she
heard herself say with faint horror, and wished instantly she could
take the words back.

B'Elanna's face drained of all color and her eyes widened in shock.
"My God," she said in a low voice. "Of all the accusations I expected,
that was the one I expected the least." Kathryn swallowed
convulsively, her torn pride forcing her to remain silent. She stared
unhappily at her clasped hands. She did not look up as B'Elanna rose
abruptly, almost toppling her chair, and stalked from the quarters.
Kathryn dropped her face into her hands and one choked sob wrenched
itself from her chest.

Things got worse and finally they agreed to dissolve their union.
B'Elanna moved out of Kathryn's quarters and back into her own.
Kathryn walked through her days in a funk of pain and loss, just
barely functioning as Voyager's captain. She had told Chakotay what
happened and he took off as much of the load from her as he could, and
she was pathetically grateful. It was fortunate that the ship was
traveling through a quiet sector of space, and didn't require the
captain's full attention.

---

Now Kathryn looked down at her former mate's colorless face and was
suddenly overcome with a rush of love that shook her to her core.

"Oh, 'Lanna," she said softly. "I still love you so much. I didn't
think my life could be emptier than it is now, but if you die, I don't
want to go on living either." Her hands reached out and framed
B'Elanna's face. "I didn't fight hard enough to keep you, my dearest
love, but if you'll live and get better, I'm going to do my damnedest
to win you back. I lost you because of my damn stubborn pride. I know
that now." She swallowed hard. "I have no pride where you're
concerned, B'Elanna Torres, if the truth be known," she went on. "You
own me body and soul, even now, with us apart, and you always will."
Impulsively, she bent and kissed B'Elanna's cold lips. "Come back to
me, lover," she whispered. "Fight, damn you!" She didn't know if she
imagined the imperceptible flutter of an eyelid or not, but she chose
to see it as such. She tucked the blanket more securely around
B'Elanna and started to stand.

"Nicoletti to the captain," her commbadge announced.

"Yes, Lieutenant," Kathryn replied. "Go ahead."

"We can contact the ship," Nicoletti replied.

"Get out here and help me carry B'Elanna back there!" Kathryn
commanded. "We've got to get her back now!" Warren came on the run and
gently picked up the unconscious Chief Engineer and he and Kathryn
hurried with their precious burden back to the hole he'd managed to
widen. "Ensign," Kathryn said gratefully as they stopped under the
hole. "You're getting a commendation for thinking of widening that
hole." She slapped her commbadge. "Janeway to Voyager. Medical
emergency. Get us out of here!"

The four of them disappeared with the blue whining tingle of Voyager's
transporter beam, and they materialized in Sickbay. The Doctor hurried
over to the biobed on which B'Elanna had materialized and quickly
assessed the situation, gently pulling the blanket away and scanning
her. Kathryn told him what had happened, and he nodded tersely.

"You got her back just in time," he said grimly, turning to pull a
surgery tray beside him. "If you'll excuse me." An assistant moved to
a position across from him and another began to examine Nicoletti's
hip.

"I'll be on the bridge," Kathryn said, turning to leave Sickbay. But
I'll be back, my love, she thought at B'Elanna, and hurried out the
door, Warren close behind her.

After she had debriefed Chakotay and Tuvok, she excused herself to
return to Sickbay, hoping the doctor had sent Nicoletti back on duty.
He had, she noted with relief as she entered Sickbay. In fact, he had
evidently finished with B'Elanna, for the surgical clamshell was gone,
and he was in his office. Kathryn wanted privacy and she had
instructed the computer to execute a series of commands at a word from
her. She had told the computer to deactivate the EMH, and reactivate
only if B'Elanna's signs indicated a medical emergency, another
medical emergency arose, or the ship went to Red Alert.

"Computer, execute EMH-KJ," she said, walking toward B'Elanna's
bio-bed. She saw the hologram disappear. She stood looking down at
B'Elanna, her expression tender She was relieved to see that
B'Elanna's color, while still not wonderful, was better. She took
B'Elanna's hand in hers, knowing she no longer had the right to do
this, but determined to win the woman she loved back.

"Ah, my love," she said softly. "I am so glad to see you looking
better. I was so afraid I was going to lose you down there on that
planet." She stroked a damp tendril of hair back from B'Elanna's
forehead, drinking in the sight of her, her heart swelling anew with
love and affection. "Oh, B'Elanna," she whispered. "What if you don't
still love me?" Her heart contracted at the thought, but her resolve
hardened. B'Elanna still loved her. She knew it. She knew it in the
very depths of her soul. B'Elanna still loved her. "My life is nothing
without you, B'Elanna Torres," she continued. "There is no joy in
living now that you and I are apart, but I warn you...I am going to
fight to get you back. We were meant to be together, and we will be."
She brought B'Elanna hand to her lips and pressed them to it, her lips
lingering longer than necessary. After a few minutes, she gently laid
the hand down, patting it lovingly before turning and leaving Sickbay.
The computer would automatically reactivate the Doctor two minutes
after her exit.

---

B'Elanna's recovery was slow but steady for two or three days, and
then she began to make great leaps and bounds. Kathryn walked in one
afternoon to find her barefoot and in her sickbay gown, standing
before a console, fingers flying over its displays.

"Are you supposed to be up?" Kathryn inquired, smiling indulgently.
B'Elanna glanced up, and her face softened, making Kathryn's heart
race. For a long moment they stared at each other across the few feet
separating them.

"Kathryn!" she said warmly, coming around the console. "I'm glad to
see you. I wanted to thank you for keeping me alive down there."
Kathryn's smile faltered for just a second, and her heart sank. Not
the greeting she had expected. That was what any casual
acquaintance--any crew member--might say under the same circumstances.
She swallowed, pasting the smile firmly on her face. You said you were
going to fight for her, she admonished herself. Take it one step at a
time. She clasped her hands behind her back.

"I'm glad to see you up and about, B'Elanna," she returned. "You gave
us all quite a bad couple of hours down there."

"Thanks to you," B'Elanna replied, "I'm still alive and kicking."

"Thank Dexter Warren," Kathryn suggested. "It was he who thought of
widening the opening in the cave so that we could get through to the
ship." She was preternaturally aware of B'Elanna's closeness and the
fact that she wore nothing under that thin gown. Her heart pounded.

"I've already talked to Dex," B'Elanna said. She turned and went over
to the biobed and hopped up to sit on it, scooting up to prop herself
up at the head of it. Kathryn went to stand beside her.

"I was so afraid I was going to lose you, B'Elanna," she said soberly,
her eyes intent on the other woman. "You might not be my spouse
anymore," her voice faltered ever so slightly, but she continued, "but
I..."she hesitated. "...still want you around." She wasn't ready yet
to reveal her heart to a conscious B'Elanna. She was determined to
mount a well-planned attack to get her lover back, and she was willing
to take her time.

B'Elanna held her gaze for a long time. "Kathryn," she finally said.
"I heard everything you said to me, down there, and," she gestured at
the surroundings of Sickbay, "up here." Kathryn stared at her, hot
color darkening her face.

"Y-You...were....you heard...me...." she stumbled. B'Elanna quickly
put her out of her misery.

"Yes....darling," she said softly. Kathryn stared at her, not sure
she'd heard her correctly.

"Lanna?" she said uncertainly, unconsciously using her pet name for
B'Elanna. B'Elanna smiled upon hearing it, enjoying the usually coolly
composed Kathryn's discomfiture.

"You heard me....darling," B'Elanna responded. In three swift steps,
Kathryn was at the bio-bed. As though steel and magnet, they came
together, their lips meeting with a passion that rocked them both to
the core. They drew apart and stared at each other, breathing hard.

"Oh, 'Lanna," Kathryn said in a choked voice. "I've been so--" Her
words were cut off as B'Elanna placed her fingers over her lips in a
shushing motion.

"I know, darling," she said. "I know." Their lips found each other's
again and Kathryn lost herself in the paradise of feeling B'Elanna's
mouth on hers, and the taste of her, and the smell. Her head spun. So
much for a well-planned attack, she thought dizzily. B'Elanna had
outflanked her quite neatly. Her hands fumbled at B'Elanna's gown,
wanting to feel her skin. She was dimly aware of the zipper to her
uniform jacket being pulled down and heat seared her body, aching for
B'Elanna's touch.

In what seemed like no time at all, they were both half-naked, and
Kathryn was on the bio-bed with B'Elanna. She came to her senses for a
minute. "My God, B'Elanna!" she muttered. "This is Sickbay! What if
somebody comes in--?"

"Then they're going to get the best view of that beautiful ass of
yours," B'Elanna said, pulling her close again. "Come here." Helpless,
Kathryn gave in to the raw desire flooding her body and mind, not
caring if the entire crew came in at that very moment. She devoured
B'Elanna's body, as B'Elanna did the same to her, leaving a wake of
flame wherever she touched or kissed. Her fingers quickly found their
way downward to B'Elanna's sex and she heard her lover groan deep in
her throat as her fingers caressed the hot, swollen lips, the edge of
her nail just barely grazing her sensitive clit. B'Elanna jerked
spasmodically in response to her touch, her own hands grasping
Kathryn's firm buttocks and kneading them. "P-please...Kathryn," she
whispered, her voice raw with need. Kathryn turned herself so that her
mouth was poised above B'Elanna, and her tongue flicked the swollen
clit teasingly, making B'Elanna cry out. Almost at once, B'Elanna's
mouth found her, and it was her turn to jump and twitch as B'Elanna
plunged her tongue deep into her hot sweetness. They pleasured each
other with delicious, torturing, agonizing slowness, not stopping as
orgasms exploded, continuing until they fell away, panting, mouths and
faces smeared with each other's juices, chests heaving as they
struggled to get breathing back to normal. Kathryn slowly kissed her
way back up B'Elanna's body with long, slow, wet kisses that made
B'Elanna whimper. She swirled her tongue around B'Elanna's soft
nipples, feeling them stiffen in her mouth, and liking the gasps of
pleasure her touch elicited. At last she settled contentedly into
B'Elanna's arms.

---

Getting back together was accomplished with surprising ease and
satisfying speed. B'Elanna confessed that Nicoletti had been strictly
a rebound affair. "Can you ever forgive me?" she asked Kathryn.

"If you're willing to forgive me," Kathryn responded. "We both made
mistakes, and we both overreacted, and paid the price. We can learn
from this: give each other space. That's what it was all about anyway,
wasn't it?" B'Elanna agreed.

"Live and learn," she said. "Live and learn."

---

Copyright 1997 ILuvKate

---

The End