The BLTS Archive - Forgotten
by ILuvKate

---

"What?" Kathryn's voice was breathless with shock and dawning despair.
The Doctor, his usually dour face wearing an expression of gentle
sympathy, repeated what he'd just told her.

"The Mari procedure damaged Lt. Torres' memory," he said. She has
retained her Engineering knowledge, but she has lost her memory...she
doesn't know anyone on the crew, doesn't know the ship, doesn't know
she used to be a Maquis, and doesn't know about being lost in the
Delta Quadrant."

"A-and there's nothing you can do?" Kathryn whispered
brokenly."Nothing at all?"

"I'm sorry, Captain," he said gently. "Everything I've tried has been
unsuccessful. There is a small chance--very small--that B'Elanna might
regain her memory, but I don't hold out much hope. The Mari's device
was quite thorough. Kathryn stared at him, feeling the hot, choking
tears welling up inside her, and it was only her superhuman control
that kept her from bursting out crying. Her fists were white-knuckled,
clenched by her sides.

"Why did I let them do it?" she whispered. "Why didn't I just beam us
all aboard and shoot away from there at Warp 8?" Her lips trembled and
she stilled them with an effort. "But no, me and my damned
principles!" she went on in harsh self-castigation. "I had to follow
the Prime Directive." The Doctor made no response to this, but stood
quietly, watching her. She looked past him to B'Elanna's sleeping
figure on a biobed out in Sickbay. The words crashed hollowly through
her mind. B'Elanna doesn't know who I am. Her stomach twisted sickly.
Her own wife had no idea who she was, and furthermore, didn't even
know they were married now. Unconsciously, Kathryn's fingers caressed
the narrow gold band on her other hand, the commitment ring B'Elanna
had given her the day they vowed their love and commitment to each
other. She wondered if B'Elanna was still wearing the ring. Of course
she was. "Oh, God," she whispered in pain and turned blindly away from
the Doctor and left Sickbay.

---

"Captain." Chakotay, Tuvok and she were seated in her Ready Room
forty-five minutes later, discussing what had happened. She gave no
outward sign of the devastation she felt, although she knew that her
First Officer and her old friend knew how she was suffering. "You
can't blame yourself for what happened." She shifted in her seat.

"Yes, Commander," she said listlessly. "I can and I do. I should have
shot away from that planet at the first opportunity. If I had, then
B'Elanna wouldn't be...." Her voice trailed off. "...like she is," she
finished, fighting for control. She made an aimless gesture and stood
up restlessly to pace over to the window. "There's no use belaboring
the issue," she said wearily. "What's done is done and we just have to
be glad she still remembers her Engineering skills."

"The Mari have expressed regret," Tuvok spoke for the first time. "But
they say there is nothing they can do." Without turning around,
Kathryn nodded.

"Please leave me," she said in a low voice. The two men glanced at
each other and then back at the captain's silent figure. Then they
turned and left the Ready Room.

---

B'Elanna stood at an Engineering console in Engineering, running some
diagnostics. While she had no knowledge of the ship's systems, her
Engineering brilliance allowed her to quickly become apprised. She
didn't like this situation she was in. She felt isolated and alone in
a sea of unfamiliar faces and strange surroundings. She had spent
hours in her quarters studying the unknown furnishings and the few
mementos scattered about the spartan living area. She didn't know, of
course, that her belongings had been moved from Kathryn Janeway's
quarters to her old ones. She had come across a small holo-projector
and activated it. It had proved to be a hologram of the captain and
she stared at it puzzled. The captain's image was smiling, looking
relaxed. Nothing like the tense, agitated woman she'd been introduced
to as Captain Janeway. B'Elanna wondered why this projection was here.
Had she and the captain been friends? She had studied the Starfleet
database while she recovered in Sickbay and according to what she had
read, starship captains didn't become pals with crew. So, the image of
the captain in her possession was perplexing.

An ensign came over to her with a PADD to get her answers to some
questions and she dealt with that, watching the man walk away and
wondering how well she used to know him. She sighed, pushing down her
frustration. She wondered if she had any good friends on this ship.
The helmsman, Tom Paris, and the Ops Officer, Harry Kim had visited
her in Sickbay and they had seemed to be pretty close to her, but
their faces were totally alien to her and she'd felt unsettled and ill
at ease after they left.

The big gentle First Officer, Chakotay, had also seemed to be friends
with her. He had come to talk to her in Sickbay, his eyes sad. He had
told her about her time in the Resistance group, the Maquis, before
this ship had become lost in this quadrant. He had brought her up to
date on as many things as he could, but she had felt equally
frustrated after he left, her mind spinning at all the information
she'd received.

She spent a couple of hours repairing some damaged sensor panels on
Deck three and then decided to go get some lunch in the Mess Hall. She
looked at a ship's diagram for directions and then set off. She
entered the mess hall, seeing various crew members scattered randomly
about the tables. Some groups were laughing and talking among
themselves and B'Elanna felt lonelier than ever. She sighed and
retrieved a plate of food from the odd-looking alien behind the
serving counter. Neelix, they'd told her, an alien from this quadrant
they were in.

"Hello, B'Elanna," Neelix greeted her cheerily. "I hope you're feeling
well today."

"Yes, thank you, Mr.--Neelix," she replied. "As I hope you are."

"I am, yes, thank you," he replied. She took her plate over to an
empty table and sat down, feeling lost. She began to eat the food,
frowning momentarily at its taste and texture, then shrugged and
continued eating.

A few minutes later, she glanced up, conscious of someone standing
near her and saw that it was the captain. "Captain," she said. "I
didn't see you standing there. Was there something you wanted?"

"No, thank you, Lieutenant," Janeway replied. Her face was composed.
"I saw you and thought I'd stop and see how you were doing."

"I'm fine, thank you for asking," B'Elanna replied. She wanted to ask
the captain why she had a holo-image of her, but decided not to.

"Good," Janeway said. "Don't overdo things right away. You've been
through a traumatic experience."

"No, ma'am, I won't" B'Elanna promised. The captain nodded and moved
away.


B'Elanna would have been astounded to see Kathryn Janeway a few
minutes later in the turbolift, weeping brokenheartedly. She had
stepped onto the turbolift and all of a sudden, the dam had burst. In
a choked voice, she'd halted it and let the tears overtake her. After
the storm had passed, she slumped against the wall, bracing herself on
the railing, head hanging, as the racking sobs left her body. I can't
go to the bridge like this, she thought. "Resume," she said, and the
lift began moving again. She got off at her quarters and entered them,
B'Elanna's presence everywhere, overwhelming her, memories swelling in
a claustrophobic wave all about her. Too dispirited to even fight it
back, she let it surge over her. She sagged into a chair and put her
head back, closing her eyes. The circle of gold on her finger suddenly
seemed made of ice and she stared at it winking in the dim light,
remembering the day of B'Elanna's mock court martial she'd staged as a
front for the commitment ceremony. Vividly, she remembered the feel
of the golden band sliding over her knuckle, the brush of B'Elanna's
fingers cool and light, brushing her skin as she slid the token of
their bonding onto the finger of the woman she loved and had vowed to
hold in her heart for the rest of her life.

"OOhhhhh," Kathryn leaned forward, pressing her palms into her eyes as
agony squeezed her heart in a painful vise. "Oh, B'Elanna, my dearest
love!" she groaned. Tears leaked from her burning eyes, dripping
around her palms and her shoulders shook as she wept in pain and loss.
She didn't know she had any tears left in her ravaged soul. She
slumped back in the chair again. Her eyes traveled aimlessly around
the darkened quarters and stopped on a miniature holo-projector. She
dragged herself to her feet and went over to it, pressing the switch
that activated it. B'Elanna's image shimmered into view and she stared
at the image's smiling face. She'd have given her command right this
minute to see a smile like that on her spouse's live face. She
switched the projector off and went back over to the chair and sat
down again.

Sometimes she wondered if Voyager ought to avoid stopping on all
planets it encountered altogether. It seemed like each time they did,
something happened to somebody. Perhaps they should just stop at space
stations and purchase supplies. They couldn't afford any more
disasters such as this one, or what had happened to Kes at the Nechani
shrine, or Tom Paris on the planet Banea. She sighed, scrubbing her
hands down her face. Sometimes, it was very hard to keep going. She
laid her head back against the chair's back and closed her eyes.

B'Elanna was glad to leave Engineering at the end of her duty shift
and go to the solitude of her quarters. Too many sensations assaulted
her; too much information swept over her; she was too bewildered by
the constant unfamiliar faces and voices that swirled over and around
her and she felt frustrated and unsettled.

As she walked down the corridor to her quarters, she put her hand in
her uniform trouser pocket for a data chip she'd put in there and her
fingers encountered a metal object. Curiously she fished it out and
studied the gold band lying in her palm. What was this? she wondered,
for, of course, it was unfamiliar. A ring of some sort. Plain, brushed
gold, narrow. She slid it onto the ring finger of her right hand and
it fit easily. She took it off and looked at the inside, seeing an
engraving there. She peered closely at the letters. "To: B'Elanna.
Forever yours, Kathryn" she read. She frowned. Kathryn.... Kathryn
who? She stood looking down at the ring, perplexed. Why was in
possession of a ring like this? From another woman? She shook her
head, feeling claustrophobic suddenly. It was all too much. Too many
puzzling and unanswerable questions were coming at her from too many
different directions. She had the sudden, irrational urge to put her
fist through something, and she hurried on down the corridor to her
quarters, stepping into their relative familiarity with relief. Here
she didn't have to deal with any outside influences. Here she didn't
have to smile when she didn't feel like it. Her uniform felt
oppressive all at once, and she hurried to her bedroom where she
pulled it off and donned some comfortable clothes. She wandered back
into the living room and threw herself down on the couch restlessly,
turning to stare out at the passing stars blankly.

After a couple of minutes, she got up and went over to her computer
terminal. "Computer," she said, "How many people on board this ship
are named Kathryn?"

"There are four people with that name among the crew," came the
computer's response. B'Elanna considered a moment.

"Display photograph and statistics," she said. The first picture that
came up was of a young ensign in Starfleet blue. B'Elanna stared at
the photograph, feeling nothing, no spark of recognition, no feeling
of any kind. "Next," she said. She started as Captain Janeway's
picture flashed on the screen. The captain's name was Kathryn, she
thought. I have a holo-image of Kathryn Janeway. She stirred uneasily,
staring at Janeway's picture, feeling nothing more about it than she
had the first picture. She called up the next Kathryn and the fourth
one with the same results. She went back to Kathryn Janeway's picture
and studied it for several long minutes. Then she shut the terminal
off and got up to pace restlessly over to the window, hands fisted on
her hips. Like she needed some other puzzling parts to this life of
hers she knew nothing about. Questions upon questions, and no answers.
"Computer, locate Cmdr Chakotay," she said.

"Commander Chakotay is in his office," the computer responded.

"Where is that?" she demanded, feeling frustration rise in her again.
The computer gave her the location and she left her quarters.

A few minutes later she stood in front of the First Officer's desk.
"What can I do for you, Lieutenant?" he asked. She shifted from one
foot to the other.

"Commander," she said, holding out the ring, "I found this in my
uniform pocket a little while ago. It has an inscription on it: 'To
B'Elanna: Forever yours, Kathryn.' Would you happen to know just who
'Kathryn' is?" Chakotay gazed at her for a few seconds, and then rose
and came around the desk. "I also found a holo-projector in my
quarters," B'Elanna continued. "It contained an image of Captain
Janeway."

"Whose name is Kathryn," Chakotay said gently.

"What does it *mean*?" B'Elanna burst out. "It's all so confusing!
I--" The big First Officer covered her two hands with his own.

"I think you should go talk to the captain," he said soothingly. "She
can answer all your questions." She stared at him with agitation.

"I really don't want to do that," she said in a low voice.

"I think you should," Chakotay replied. B'Elanna turned without
replying and left his office. Only after she was in the turbolift, did
she realize she had not waited to be dismissed. She muttered a
frustrated curse, leaning against the turbolift wall, scowling. She
didn't want to go to Captain Janeway with these questions. The captain
had been nothing but gracious to her every time they'd encountered
each other, and she was sure she would be gracious if she, B'Elanna
were to go see her right now, but something held her back. I can't,
she told herself. I just can't. Not yet. She ordered the turbolift to
stop at the deck where her quarters were located and walked down the
corridor to them.

---

A short while she was startled by the doorchime at her door. "Come
in," she called, sitting up from where she'd been lying on the couch.
She was surprised to see Kathryn Janeway standing in the doorway as
the doors slid open. "Captain!" she said, standing. "Please...come
in." She wondered why the captain was here. In a few seconds she found
out as the captain came over and sat down in response to her
invitation.

"B'Elanna," Captain Janeway began without preamble, "Cmdr Chakotay
told me you came to see him." B'Elanna nodded, waiting. Kathryn
brushed her hand across her eyes, and gave a small sigh. "B'Elanna, I
know how confusing everything must be to you. You are wondering about
the ring you found in your pocket." Here Kathryn held out her left
hand on which she wore a ring that looked identical to the one
B'Elanna had found. "B'Elanna, you and I are....bonded. We swore
commitment to each other about six months ago."

"You mean, like, married?" B'Elanna queried.

"We swore vows to each other," Kathryn confirmed. "Just as men and
women do when they are married, yes." B'Elanna swallowed convulsively,
warring feeling raging within her. She didn't know what to think. She
didn't know what to say. "You were my mate, my spouse," Kathryn said
gently, seeing the consternation and perplexity in B'Elanna's face. A
lump rose in her own throat.

"I...don't understand..." B'Elanna said helplessly. "It's too much!"
She jumped up from her seat and prowled the room restlessly. "I don't
even know you!" she blurted out, turning to the silent figure sitting
on the couch. She wished she could catch the words back as intense
pain crossed the captain's face.

"I know, B'Elanna," she said softly. "I know. And I'm sorry. I
should've removed the ring and the holo-projector so you wouldn't find
them and wonder."

"I'm sorry," B'Elanna said. "I didn't mean it like that. I just--"

"It's all right, B'Elanna," Kathryn said. "I understand. Just don't
worry about it, and don't be upset." She rose, smoothing her uniform
down. "It's all in the past now. Just concentrate on making your own
place on Voyager now, and don't worry about what happened before." She
stood up. "Would you like me to take the ring and holo-projector with
me?" B'Elanna glanced at the ring lying on her coffee table.

"No," she replied. "Not just yet, anyway." She gestured aimlessly.
"They--they're a link with this former life I can't remember...," she
said uncertainly. Janeway smiled and walked toward the door. "I
understand," she said gently. "Good night, B'Elanna. Get some rest
tonight."

"Good night, Captain," B'Elanna said, watching Voyager's commanding
officer walk through the door. She had the sense that the captain was
holding herself on a tight rein, but not by posture or expression
could anyone have determined Kathryn Janeway's feelings.

She was left now with more questions than she had answers worse than
before. She lay down on the couch, arm across her eyes. She examined
her feelings about what she had just learned. Apparently she and
Kathryn Janeway had formed an emotional attachment to each other and
had developed an affection for each other. That Janeway was a woman
had no bearing on what she was experiencing right now. She had
wondered, over the course of the days following the Mari procedure,
when she saw male crew, if she had been particularly close to any of
them. She had also wondered about some female crew, particularly after
seeing some women together in the holodeck program, the Terran French
bar created by Voyager's helmsman, Tom. She'd covertly studied some of
the women in Engineering, wondering, since people in the same
department frequently developed a relationship.

That it was the captain of Voyager she had apparently formed a
relationship with came as a stunning surprise to her. She had had to
bring herself up to date on the regulations of the military
organization she was told she was part of and had read the material
governing relationships between crew members and between crew and
officers.

She relaxed and tried to let her mind go, examining this information
about her and Janeway, looking for some spark, some feeling, to see if
she could retrieve anything, any emotion, any sensation at all. Kathryn
Janeway was an extremely attractive woman, she mused. Even beautiful,
when you got right down to it. She moved with an easy grace,
confident, competent. Unquestionably in command. B'Elanna let her mind
wander freely. It was easy to see that there was a body that was all
woman under that red and black uniform. She was slender, but shapely,
even voluptuous. B'Elanna sat up. That thought had come out of
nowhere. Kathryn Janeway did not have the build of a voluptuous woman:
no large breasts, curved hips, or rounded bottom, but "voluptuous" had
been the word that came to her mind when she considered Kathryn
Janeway's physical attributes. B'Elanna found her mind going to the
captain's beautiful, expressive hands. In the brief meetings she'd had
with her, B'Elanna had noticed that the captain gestured frequently,
and her attention had been drawn to her hands.

The image of those hands on her own body suddenly, instilled a
pleasant sensation within her. Yes, indeed, very pleasant, she
realized. She got up from the couch restlessly, wondering uneasily if
the relationship with the captain had been purely physical. Somehow,
though, that didn't ring true. The captain appeared to be suffering
from the loss of her partner. That was obvious to B'Elanna. Despite
the captain's outward demeanor, there were deep shadows of pain in her
eyes. If B'Elanna had just been merely a means to achieve physical
gratification, then Janeway would merely have had to find another crew
member to take her place. There would have been no shortage of willing
bedmates for Voyager's powerful, beautiful captain. Of that, B'Elanna
was sure.

She wondered briefly why Janeway had chosen her. She was by no means
the most beautiful woman on this crew. She'd never considered herself
outstandingly attractive. She thought uneasily about the possibility
that she herself had sought Voyager's seat of power as a means to
furthering her own career, and quickly discarded that thought. That
was something she instinctively knew was totally alien to her. No,
this physical and emotional bonding she'd had with Janeway went far
deeper than just simple lust or simple ambition.

The rest of the evening passed similarly for B'Elanna: thoughts in
turmoil, wonderings, musings, realizations. She finally sought her bed
and fell into a restless, uneasy sleep, dreams peopled by a slender
figure in red and black.

---

Kathryn sat in her quarters after the talk with B'Elanna, slumped
listlessly on her couch, cheek pillowed on her folded arm lying on the
back of the couch. She stared blindly out the viewport at the streaks
of passing stars. One hand unconsciously stroked the narrow band of
gold on her left finger, warming the cool metal with her touch. She
was beyond tears, beyond sobs. Her heart was a bitter, wasted shell,
her feelings a tiny tattered heap of shreds at the bottom of this dry
well.

And it was better this way. She could not continue to wallow in this
sea of pain and loss. It would eat away at her and destroy what was
left of her soul. B'Elanna was gone. She was no longer a part of her
life. The past had to be buried and forgotten so it would not taint
the future. B'Elanna would find someone else and begin life anew.
Kathryn knew there was no one else on Voyager, indeed, no one else in
the universe, for her except B'Elanna, but she was prepared for a life
of solitude. So Fate had decreed, and so it must be. Deal with it, she
told herself, for in the other direction lay madness. Wearily, she
rose from her couch and made her way to the bedroom. The bed, lonely
and barren, was an anathema to her and she hated it, but if she was to
regain any sense of normalcy at all, she had to endure it in all of
its barren solitude.

---

She sat at breakfast the next morning, finishing a cup of coffee,
talking to Tuvok. The Mess Hall was emptying as crew headed for the
beginning of their shifts. Tuvok excused himself and left, and she sat
drinking the last of her coffee, staring absently at the table top.

She became aware of someone standing nearby, and pulled herself
abruptly back to the present. B'Elanna was standing a couple of feet
from the table and Kathryn's heart panged.

"I don't want to intrude, Captain," B'Elanna said.

"You're not, Lieutenant," Kathryn said. She'd decided that the best
way to make the amputation was to return both of them to "captain" and
"lieutenant." B'Elanna's eyes flickered. "What can I do for you?"
B'Elanna took a deep breath.

"I don't want to cause you any more pain," she said, "but if you could
answer some questions..." her voice trailed off uncertainly.

"Of course, B'Elanna," Kathryn said kindly. "I'll be glad to answer
anything I can." Just go away, please, go away! she thought in an
agonized wail. I want my life back! B'Elanna, unaware of her mental
distress, pulled out Tuvok's chair and sat down. She saw that the
captain had herself under tight control. She probably didn't even know
her hand was white-knuckled on the handle of her coffee cup. A pang of
regret shot through her.

"Tell me something about our relationship," B'Elanna said. Kathryn
wanted to leap up from the table and run pell mell out of the Mess
Hall, away from this flood of pain and hurt. With a superhuman effort
she kept her face composed.

"We loved each other," she replied softly. Something loosed in her.
"You were my heart and soul, B'Elanna. My very life, my reason for
living." She smiled crookedly. "The wind beneath my wings, as they
say." B'Elanna swallowed the huge lump that had risen in her throat,
fighting back tears as emotion swelled up within her. She blinked,
unable to speak, not sure what she would say even if she could find
her voice. The silence stretched out. Kathryn's eyes fastened on her
coffee cup and she opened the hand that had been gripping her cup so
tightly.

"I--" B'Elanna's voice came out strangled. "Cap--" Kathryn held up her
hand and she fell silent.

"B'Elanna," she said, "you can't let the past hold you hostage.
There's nothing you can do about any of this. As I told you last
night, you must go on now and build your own future."

"What about you?" B'Elanna asked, studying her keenly. The captain's
smile was sad.

"I, too, must build my own future," she said softly. Impulsively she
put her hand out and covered B'Elanna's tense one on the table top.
B'Elanna felt a shock run through her body at the touch. "But let me
just say, B'Elanna... thank you for the happiness you gave me. I will
always treasure that. While we were together, my life was complete."
She caught herself back, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry," she
apologized. "I'm doing just what I told you not to do. I'm looking
back, and dragging you back, too." She stood up abruptly, making
B'Elanna jump as the physical contact the captain had initiated was
broken. "We have to end this now. I--" Kathryn turned to leave.
B'Elanna jumped up.

"W-wait---Ca--Kathryn!" Kathryn turned completely white.

"Pl-please, don't!" she said in an agonized whisper. B'Elanna put her
hand out to touch Kathryn's arm and Kathryn stepped back as though a
poisonous snake were about to strike her.

"W-would--would you be completely unwilling," B'Elanna asked softly,
astonished at her own audacity, "to-to, start over? To start from
scratch?" Kathryn's eyes were pools of misery and tears shimmered in
the corners. "Maybe," B'Elanna said softly, "maybe we could rediscover
what we had." Kathryn was backing away, shaking her head.

"B'Elanna," she said brokenly, "I--I don't think I can--"

"If it's the physical...thing," B'Elanna said, surprising herself
again, "that...I can...I can do tha--"

"Good God, no!" Kathryn cried in a strangled voice. She turned then
and all but ran from the Mess Hall, unheeding and uncaring what anyone
thought. B'Elanna stood miserably, staring unhappily after the fleeing
figure. You sure botched that one, Torres," she thought bleakly. She
felt oddly bereft as she plodded out of the Mess Hall and turned
toward Engineering.

---

For the next several days, Kathryn shamelessly used every ploy at her
command to avoid meeting with or seeing B'Elanna Torres. She had
Chakotay conduct briefings and go to Engineering for any meetings
with the Chief Engineer or the department. She ordered the computer to
alert her if B'Elanna was headed in her direction. If B'Elanna was
coming to the bridge to sit at the Engineering console there, Kathryn
escaped to her Ready Room, and indeed, sometimes left the bridge
altogether, unable to bear even that close a contact.

---

One morning, Engineering was a hive of controlled chaos as the
Engineering crew worked to repair some damage to systems by an ion
storm Voyager had encountered a few days earlier. B'Elanna, half in
and half out of an access hatchway, repairing a navigational array,
was backing out of the small, cramped space. Her foot slipped on a
coil spanner lying on the deck as she moved and she grabbed at the
wall to hold on as she emerged from the hatchway. There was a blinding
flash, an agonizing crack, and a burst of energy as her grasp closed
an open circuit. She was hurled backward as the energy surged through
her body and she landed on the deck with a sickening thud. Crew rushed
to her side. Carey slapped his commbadge to order emergency transport,
but before he could issue the order, an enraged Klingon Chief Engineer
boiled up off the floor spitting with fury.

"Who the goddamned hell forgot to close that goddamned circuit?" she
yelled in a white-hot rage. "I coulda been killed! Lassiter? Was it
you? You did that one time before! Harwell, how many times have I told
you to secure---" She stopped in mid-rant, realization spreading over
her face and stared in dawning comprehension at her suddenly
delightedly grinning crew. She looked around in wonder. "Carey?" she
said, "Nicoletti?" One by one she recognized each member of a crew
whose names she'd had to ask every day since she returned from the
Mari homeworld. "My God!" she exclaimed. "I remember! I remember you!
I remember Voyager!" Her face split in a delighted grin of its own.
Carey grabbed her arm.

"B'Elanna, I think you'd better go to Sickbay," he cautioned. "Let the
Doctor--"

"But I'm okay, Joe!" she exclaimed happily. "I'm okay! I--"

"Yes, B'Elanna," he said soothingly. "But you should still let the
Doctor check you out." B'Elanna calmed herself.

"Yes," she said thoughtfully. Her lips stretched in another grin. "OK,
I'm going, but listen. Keep this quiet, okay? Or just tell Chakotay.
There's someone," her face softened. "There's someone," she continued
softly, "that I want to surprise. All right?" Carey nodded, smiling,
and the rest of the crew looked delighted, knowing who she meant.

B'Elanna nodded and left Engineering, heading for Sickbay where she
submitted to the Doctor's ministrations. She swore him to silence and
hurried to her quarters where she made some preparations and then
headed for the Captain's quarters. There, she got ready and then
hailed Carey, telling him to ask the Captain to go to her quarters to
check out some imaginary malfunction there.


Kathryn walked down the corridor to her quarters and keyed the door.
It slid open and as she stepped inside, she halted suddenly, her
nostrils assailed by a most familiar scent. Tears welled up in her
eyes. Why was she smelling the exotic perfume B'Elanna always wore
when she was going to make love. Her heart wrenched. Then it lurched
as a soft voice called out.

"Kathryn? Come in here, darling." Kathryn stood stock-still in shock
before searing rage boiled up out of her, making her tremble with its
intensity. How *dare* she.....? She crossed swiftly to the bedroom
where she could see dim, soft light spilling from the half-dozen
candles placed around the room.

B'Elanna, dressed in a gossamer, transparent nightgown of soft dusty
rose, reclined on the bed against the pillows, holding one brilliant
red rose.

"How dare you!" Kathryn hissed furiously, shaking with anger. "Get out
of here!" She advanced on the bed, fists clenched. "Get out before I
throw you out!"

B'Elanna had anticipated this reaction, and she didn't move. "It's me,
Kathryn. I"m back," she said gently. "Ask the Doctor, dear. This is no
subterfuge." Kathryn stared at her through narrowed eyes.

"How?" she whispered, trembling, afraid to believe that this might be
real.

"An accident in Engineering," B'Elanna replied. "I grabbed an open
circuit and barely avoided getting fried."

"B'Elanna?" Kathryn whispered as tears began to stream down her
cheeks. "'Lanna? My dear love? Is it really you?"

"Come over here, my darling," B'Elanna purred seductively, "and I'll
show you beyond any doubt." Kathryn all but threw herself at the bed
and their mouths met in a kiss of glorious love and passion. B'Elanna
held her away at arm's length for a moment. "Let's get you out of that
uniform, my love. We've got some catching up to do. Kathryn couldn't
divest herself of her clothing fast enough as she removed it, stopping
to kiss beloved lips that had filled her dreams every night since the
return from the Mari homeworld.

Their bodies met, merged and meshed in blessed union as lips
rediscovered lips and skin, hands reacquainted with breasts, nostrils
knew beloved scents once again. Kathryn's hands roved over B'Elanna's
silky skin, reveling in its feel and texture. Her mouth explored
B'Elanna's, regaining its taste and feel. She cupped warm, heavy
breasts in her hands, staring at them reverently, her lips tasting the
dark nipples with their faint, salty tang she remembered so well and
had longed for in dark, lonely nights.

She gloried in the feel of B'Elanna's hands on her body, re-exploring
what she'd lost, fingers brushing sensitive areas and sending sparks
of heat licking along her nerves. A quivering began deep in her belly
and heat blossomed between her legs. She sucked in breaths of pleasure
deeply as B'Elanna's mouth closed on her yearning breasts, tongue
rough against the sensitive nipples, washing fire along her limbs.
B'Elanna feasted on the banquet of Kathryn's body, feeling her own
skin erupt with heat and her sex gushed with sudden moisture.

"Oh, my dearest love," Kathryn whispered in her ear as she nuzzled her
way from B'Elanna's lush straining mouth to her ear, down her throat,
across her collarbone to kiss the hollow at the base of her throat.
Her lips brushed tantalizingly across B'Elanna's hypersensitive skin
setting it afire.

Finally unable to bear it any longer, they positioned themselves with
mouths at each other's sex and entered each other. They moaned deep in
their throats as pleasure and delight suffused their bodies as tongues
played melodies of delight against hot, wet, slick skin, circling and
sucking clitorises aching with the need for release, swollen and
throbbing.

They exploded simultaneously, but continued to lick and suck each
other to another pinnacle of pleasure, and then once more, finally
rolling away to lie gasping on their backs as the last spasms of
pleasure left their bodies.

Kathryn cradled her beloved spouse in her arms when they were able to
move again. "I don't deserve to be this happy," she murmured. "This is
a dream and I'm going to wake up to a dreary life without you."
B'Elanna reached down and nipped one of Kathryn's nipples sharply with
her teeth. Kathryn jumped with a yelp.

"Ow! What'd you do that for?" she demanded indignantly, rubbing the
tender point of flesh bearing a tiny red tooth mark. B'Elanna nestled
back down into her arms unrepentantly.

"You're not dreaming," she mumbled. "You're wide awake." Kathryn eyed
her spouse for a second and then enveloped her in a quick hug.

"Thank God," she said. "Thank God."

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Copyright 1998 ILuvKate

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The End