Date: Fri, 11 Feb 2000 14:52:47 -0800 From: Greywolf the Wanderer Subject: Getting to Know You -- Mirror Spock I can't resist -- it's futile! So, here goes. The setting is Commander Spock's room on board the ISS Enterprise. Smell of incense and human sweat in the air. Perhaps just a faint tang of human blood, also. The Commander has decided it will be amusing to fill this out; sometime when the captain is being particularly smug and obnoxious, he can tie him up and read this to him by way of attitude adjustment. NAME: Spock cha' Sarek, heir to the House of Surak. SEX: Male, if this refers to gender. As to sexual activity -- I am the Master, and James is my toy. HOME: Formerly ShiKahr Prefecture on Vulcan. However at present it is this room, on this ship. HEIGHT: I am 5,7 centimetres taller than the captain, which is the pertinent datum here. EYES: Dark brown to black, depending on the lighting spectrum. HAIR: Black. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE HV SHOW? The Imperial Intelligence Diaries, with enhanced screamtrack and smell-o-vision. Most satisfying. Failing reception of that, I find it pleasant to watch Chekov screaming in the Booth. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? You do not need to know that. FAVOURITE MAGAZINE: The Interrogator's Tool Catalogue. FAVOURITE SMELL: Human fear, especially that of James, kneeling before me, bound and bleeding. Yessss. Exquisite. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: The time that Chekov and Sulu nearly killed James. The captain is *MINE*. BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Watching the light fade from T'Pring's eyes as I strangled her in front of the corpse of her lover Stonn. Most pleasant. THINGS TO DO ON THE WEEKENDS: Tie up the captain. Beat him, make him beg, fuck him till he passes out. He is such a bottom boy. Making him lick my boots. Yesss. FAVOURITE SOUNDTRACK: The screamtrack on The Imperial Intelligence Diaries. I have the treble on max boost. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF WHEN YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING? Whether I want a blow job from James before I have breakfast. DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS? Never. That is a human weakness. ROLLER COASTERS DEADLY OR EXCITING? Tedious. PEN OR PENCIL? I dictate and the computer transcribes. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? I do not answer the comm; thatis Uhura's job. If someone needs me I will know; I know everything aboard this ship. FAVOURITE FOODS: You do not need to know that. DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS? I have respect for my father, as he is the only person I know more vicious than I. My mother was pathetic. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME? Not convicted. Hard to convict when there are no surviving witnesses. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Chocolate, which I like to lick off James' back after I have whipped him thoroughly. The blood tastes good that way. CROUTONS OR BACON BITS? Neither. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE? I do not particularly care either way. DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS? If one considers the captain to be a stuffed animal, then yes. I must say, his counterpart was most pleasingly upset when I took him. I was tempted not to send him back -- but he would not have survived here. James is far more vicious. And I prefer not to have him killed just yet. Better he should live and remain a target, than that I should become one. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY KIND OF PET, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I already have a pet, his name is James and he makes the most delicious sounds when I beat him. IF YOU COULD BE ANY TYPE OF ANIMAL WHAT WOULD YOU BE? I am already a Vulcan. why should I wish to be anything inferior? THUNDERSTORMS, COOL OR SCARY? Tedious. IF YOU COULD MEET ANYONE DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE? Genghis Khan. Colonel Green. Kahless the Unforgettable. Worthy opponents one and all. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: I do not consume alcohol. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Irrelevant. EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Negative. GUYS-IF A GIRL ASKED FOR THE SHIRT OFF YOUR BACK, WOULD YOU GIVE IT TO HER? No. But I might beat her, if she was interesting enough and could scream loudly enough. In general I find human women tedious. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I already have the best job in the universe. All the power but none of the assassins after me. They would not dare. I am the best assassin in the Fleet. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOUR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I do not wish to change my hair. IF YOU COULD HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT AND WHERE WOULD IT BE? I have my Clan Mark, I do not wish for another. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Negative. It is a foolish affectation. DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING: I had it already. I got to kill Stonn and T'Pring, and then I went home and dominated the captain. Most pleasant. WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? Vulcan weapons. A Tantalus terminal. The skulls of my enemies. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? Irrelevant. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SNAPPLE? Irrelevant. ARE YOU A RIGHTY, LEFTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS? I am primarily right-handed but I can kill or weild a whip with either hand if need be. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? I do not type. That is a slave's job. IF YOU COULD BE ONE GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? Irrelevant. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? The floor. A spiked Klingon dildo for James. Assorted types of lubricant. Handcuffs, ropes, my spare cat-of-nine-tails. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER? Irrelevant. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? I never had a car. WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR? If you mean conveyance, I already rule the Enterprise, what more do I need? FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH: Chekov, screaming in the Booth. I am also partial to the death-matches at the Rihannsu Year Games. SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU: James is a good pet. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO, WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND TO IT: McCoy. He is too drunk to see the screen.