The BLTS Archive- The Last Place God Made by Delta Story (deltastory@geocities.com) --- Dear Folks... Couldn't sleep last night, and there was a nagging challenge from a writing groups hanging over my head... a song challenge... so here's what came into being. It's a song that I've known for a long time was going to produce a J/C story... just didn't know how to construct it. It's based on a song that came out about a year or so ago on a Peter Cetera cd... And a warning from a few folks who have read it already... I guess you'd better have a box of tissues handy. (BTW... apologies to those of you who have seen it already... I've made a few tweaks...) (Words & music by Richard Kerr and Gary Osborne; Sung by Peter Cetera) November 1998 --- "I've seen the best of times I've seen the worst of times ‘Been around and I've taken my chances But I could never be tied down Too many questions -- not enough answers. Then I laid eyes on you I knew right there and then This would be more than a passing encounter My fate is bound to yours I've found a cause right here. And if this is the last place God made And yours is the last face I'll see Just feeling close to you That's good enough for me." --- Her face came across the screen, stern as protocol dictated, but warmed with the emotion of her well-rehearsed words. "There is only one reason you are viewing this message now... a message I have recorded many times, each time with new thoughts and words, and each time knowing how much closer I have been to saying it to you in person." Kathryn Janeway lowered her face, clearing her throat as inconspicuously as she could, her shoulders rising with a silent deep intake with breath. "Chakotay ... my dear and wonderful Chakotay ... why could I not have found the courage to say these words to you in life?" The little crooked grin that was so like her crept across her face. "Perhaps stubbornness... perhaps fear. I always seemed to find excuses, didn't I? "And yet ... ever since that first day ... when our crews became one ... one to survive this strange odyssey ... yes, that first day... I knew that our relationship would be one that would be a... different one. Both of us... so determined in our causes and temperaments ... both of us, so unwavering and passionate." Again, she lowered her head, and caught a much needed controlling breath. "That first day ... yes, that's when I knew that I would love you. I knew that by suppressing my feelings I would be facing the most difficult battle that I would ever have to fight. There have been so many times when I... I almost admitted it to you. You have had my heart to call yours since that day, and I think you have known it. It has only been my fear that has not allowed me to acknowledge it, and I know that this has been wrong. "I do not know what this event brings, whether there is some existence after our corporal life ... or a nothingness. All I do know is that whatever awaits, I created my own eternal punishment during our time together by not allowing my admission of my feelings ... by never knowing the warmth of your arms ... your embraces ... your body and soul. So many days ... and nights ... when I ached to reach out and hold you ... to love you. And yet ... the wall remained intact; I never allowed myself to overcome its barriers. "Chakotay, I have loved you all this time, and, if so ordained, I will love you throughout whatever reality exists after life. My only regret is never having been able to share this with you. You ... so patient, so understanding, and so ... hurt. How can I ever expect to receive your forgiveness for my indifference?" She sighed. "Perhaps you will never see this recording; perhaps I shall have the courage to tell you, before there is a need for you to view this." She brought her fingertips to her lips and kissed them, moving their moist tips to the screen of the recording monitor. "I love you, my dear Chakotay." The screen blinked into blackness. --- "We've seen the best of times We've seen the worst of times Been through hell and high water together Diamond bright and tear stained mem'ries These are the times I'll always remember. If you believe in me -- like I believe in you Without a care for the why or the wherefore I will be there for you And you'll be there for me. And if this is the last place God made And yours is the last face I'll see Just feeling close to you It's good enough for me." --- The dark background seemed to blend with the ebony of his hair. The reflected starlight lit up the silvery highlights of his hair that were just now starting to lighten the duskiness of his face... a face now further shadowed by the weight of his words. "Kathryn ... my beloved Kathryn ... if you are viewing this, I know that you are hurting ... and I am sorry that this is the one time I cannot be by your side and help you. "And... I have broken my promise to you to never leave you ... that you will never be alone. But you should know by now, that you will *not* ever be alone... for I will always be with you, Kathryn Janeway... throughout the never-ending days of eternity." Through the somberness of his face, his dimples deepened and the words came softly from the smile. "No, Kathryn; you will never be free from me! My eternal bliss will be your eternal punishment ... having me beside you always." His face once more became shadowed. "You have always known that I loved you. My eyes have never been able to hide secrets from you. You knew from that very first day, when we agreed that our crews join together, that *we* were bonding ourselves to each other... your fate and mine, irrevocably intertwined and meshed together. With every passing day ... month ... year ... our lives became more as one. Each time your hand touched me, you reached into my heart and drew it closer and closer. No Borg nanoprobe could have assimilated me more than you have. "Even as our words and spirits seemed to betray each other and grow apart, we have known that our souls would never be apart. On New Earth, I gave you my pledge to be with you and protect you always, reserving my love for my own personal strength. I repeated this promise many times ... with the Borg ... with your personal disappointments ... with your disapproval of my actions. "I know that there have been times when my conduct has caused you to doubt the pledges I kept repeating to you. For these times, I can only once more ask for your forgiveness; I know that with each careless encounter, I destroyed a part of your heart. May I now give back all that I took, and add to it tenfold. "Kathryn, you have been my sole purpose for wanting to survive this journey. Before I met you, I had determined that my life was worth nothing except to exact revenge on all who had hurt me. You have shown me how to love again ... how to respect life, and recognize the meaning of the connectedness of all things. You have been my healing spirit ... my guardian angel. You have been my life and love ... and I will continue loving you forever. "Kathryn, we have been ordained to be together, and even now ... even with my death ... you will have me by your side. Know that, and let your heart embrace it. May you receive peace now, and look forward to the time when we will be together forever. "I love you, my one and only Kathryn. May the spirits be with us now, and grant us the peace and joy of the hereafter." His eyes glowed as burning coal; the screen blurred into the grayness of nonlife. --- "Screen off," the soft baritone voice said. Tuvok sat back in the chair at his desk in his cabin. The normally stoic Vulcan had just viewed the final personal comments that Kathryn Janeway and her first officer, Commander Chakotay, had left for each other ... messages to each of them alone, never meant to be viewed by any of their friends or family or crewmates. But he felt that he had to invade their privacy, in order to know how he had to proceed now. How to proceed ... no, how to live ... continue ... survive. How to manage the strength and spirit to lead the crew of Voyager ... now that both of her senior officers were gone. And lead he must. The rest of the ship was numb ... functioning and performing by rote, as soulless beings who persevered only because of a primordial instinct for the continuance of life. No one had seen the portent of the cataclysmal event ... neither the attending Voyager security team, nor the ever-vigilant protectors of the Ultheran council. Janeway and Chakotay had been asked to attend a formal meeting of the Provost and her council, to formalize the joint trade agreement between the planet and the Voyager visitors. All had proceeded smoothly, with both sides assenting to the requests of the others and vowing to stay in contact with each other, hoping to eventually open official negotiations for alliance with Starfleet. Yes... the Ultherans would be excellent Delta Quadrant allies... Then ... in a fraction of a second, the entire chamber became an Armageddon fireball, a hellfire that consumed all the internal structures and inhabitants instantaneously. The fireproof room contained the holocaust from its surroundings, so that none of even the closest bystanders outside of the room were harmed. So sudden and complete was the devastation that only the briefest of cries were sensed by communication monitors either on the planet or on Voyager. Then ... silence ... and nothingness. Gone ... they were all gone. By the time the room could be entered, only a powdery layer of fine gray ash remained ... the physical reminder of fifteen souls who were now welcomed into eternity ... victims of a treacherous plot of death and destruction by planet malcontents. Tuvok rose from his seated position, and slowly walked to the Vulcan chest in the corner of the room. He pushed back the flowing sleeves of his meditation robe, and lifted the heavy lid of the coffer. He reached inside, his large hands lovingly wrapping around the goal of his search. With Vulcan resolve, he fought back rare, forbidden tears that had suddenly surfaced. His eyes closed briefly, willing away the display of sorrow. He removed two stone pieces ... two meditation lamps. He walked back to a low table in the center of the room, and placed the marble pieces on its surface. Again, his eyes closed, as he became lost in his thoughts of his two dear friends. Moments passed, as the starlight provided the only sound in the dark chamber. Quietly, a small spark of light, summoned into existence through his prayer, came from the center opening of each lamp. The dark man's eyes slowly opened, the sparks now becoming infant flames. He again reached for the lamps, as the flames grew, becoming bright and strong. With elegant ease, he rose from his kneeling position, a lamp in each hand, and he walked slowly across the room, towards the window looking out onto the inky void of space of the Delta Quadrant. The Vulcan captain of Voyager stood for a moment, studying the infinite cosmos in front of him. He then placed the glowing lamps side by side on the ledge of the window. With a low voice, his words were absorbed into the darkness, to be carried on the fragile light of the flames as they reached out into eternity. "My friends ... you will always be my friends. Kathryn Janeway, whom I have known and respected for may years... Chakotay, whom I have learned to esteem even through our differences ... two people with great courage and an even greater love. May you now in death finally find this love that you had been denied in life." The grieving man turned away from the window, to resolve his inner sorrow before he very soon must provide the needed strength for Voyager to continue. The flames from the lamps leapt higher and higher...intertwining and embracing each other, becoming one ... as they continued their endless journey in a deathless love. --- The End