The BLTS Archive- Prey
by Mel Blue (mel@melblue.com)

---

Archives: ASC, BLTS, My website, others please ask.

Feedback: Mel Blue

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Paramount-Viacom. I
just borrowed them and am not writing for profit.

Warnings: There's some squicky bits with blood and some implied
non-cons sex.

--
Chapter 1
---

He moved stealthily through the halls of the ship, his Prey ever
before him. He was careful, the hour was late and the halls empty, and
it was important that his Prey not become aware of his presence. It
was not the right Time.

He hoped the Time would come soon. The need was growing upon him.
Following his Prey, watching his prey, was no longer the complete
satisfaction it had been in the past. He wanted more than this now.

His Prey halted to speak to another; and he pressed himself against
the wall around a corner and listened. He closed his eyes, hearing the
soft voice of his Prey, the light laughing response to the words of
the other. He licked his lips, still listening, and allowed his mind
to imagine the moment that would soon come.

The Knife was ready. He had found it in his quarters a week ago. That
was how he had known the Time was coming. The Knife had been sent to
him for a purpose.

He had only handled the Knife once, before putting it in a special
place. He had delighted in its feel; the feeling of anticipation
handling it had given him had been... powerful. He imagined it in his
hand now, the heavy weight of the carved, dark wood handle, the
perfect balance of the long, gleaming blade. When he had found the
Knife, he had run one finger gently along the edge and then sucked the
blood from the cut made. Then, he'd hidden it away. He would not touch
the Knife again until it was Time.

The hallway was silent now and he realized his Prey had moved on. He
no longer felt the need to follow and watch; he was content to remain
against the wall, eyes closed.

He wanted to imagine the moment, the moment when he would take the
Knife again, and hold it against the skin of his Prey, pressing
gently. A heavy burning sensation surged in his gut. He felt...
aroused. He could feel his hot hardness pressing forward and then
heard the soft hiss of his own breath escape through his clenched
teeth.

In the darkness behind his closed eyelids, the face of his Prey stared
back at him. He concentrated on the features of the face; he was not
yet ready to meet the expression of those eyes. Again he was holding
the Knife, and feeling the exquisite pleasure as he traced the point
along the lines of the tattoo that marked the face of his Prey. The
black lines welled into red and he leaned forward, desperately licking
and sucking, eager for the taste of his Prey's blood.

The breath of his Prey came in strangled gasps now, and he could hear
the fear, feel the fear as his Prey's body shuddered beneath him. His
own breathing quickened. His grip on the Knife tightened. Soon, soon
he would feel the ultimate ecstasy of his Prey's final breath expelled
into his own mouth, as he slid the Knife slowly into its final resting
place.

He opened his eyes and let out a harsh sigh. At some time in the
course of his vision, he had slumped to the floor and he now sat
against the wall, his legs splayed in front of him. He blinked against
the light in the hall and wondered what he should do now. He always
felt this lethargy after he imagined taking his Prey.

He stood swiftly, decision made. He would go and look at the Knife.

---

Commander Chakotay, First Officer of the Federation starship USS
Voyager, strode along the corridor and entered the turbolift. It had
been a long day; he felt tired, drained and all he wanted to do was
get to his quarters and sleep.

As the turbolift began to move, he was relieved to find that the
restless feeling he had been experiencing as he walked from the Mess
Hall began to fade. He frowned to himself; this feeling had been
growing on him lately. It had started as a slight sensation of
boredom, Voyager was currently travelling through a sparsely inhabited
region of the Delta Quadrant, and any inhabited planets they did come
across usually contained primitive societies. The situation increased
the sense of isolation that every crewmember of Voyager suffered from
at times. He knew the tension level of the ship had risen dramatically
in the last few weeks, and Neelix, their self-appointed morale
officer, was in his element, busily arranging event after event to
keep the crew settled. Chakotay smiled to himself as he exited the
turbolift; he'd never thought he'd be so thankful for the little
Talaxian's presence.

Chakotay entered his quarters and asked for lights. The restlessness
he had felt earlier hadn't quite faded completely and, as tired as he
was, he didn't want to sleep yet. He went to the replicator, ordered a
blend of tea, and sipping the hot brew, sat down on his couch. He
sighed; he really just wanted to think about nothing for a while,
enjoy a completely blank mind, but he knew it would be impossible. He
contemplated trying to meditate and shook his head. He was just too
tired.

He leaned his head back against the couch and sighed. Something was
nagging at him, something about that feeling he kept experiencing, and
immediately his mind began to analyse. Yes, it had started as boredom,
yes he was restless but there was something else, somehow he felt...
nervous. He sat up again, sipped at his tea and then glared at the
wall. Nervous. Why would he feel nervous?

Voyager's current situation was monotonous, yes, but hardly anything
to feel nervous about. Perhaps he was over analysing. He sipped his
tea and then shook his head, trying to clear his mind. No. Somehow, he
knew he was on the right track. He did feel nervous, but not about the
ship; this was a more personal feeling. There was a familiarity about
this feeling, he had experienced it at times throughout his life, both
in Starfleet and the Maquis, and those times were when he had been in
some sort of personal danger.

He stood swiftly and began to pace the room. This was ridiculous! What
danger could he possibly be in on his own ship, with his own crew, for
Gods sake! He felt angry with himself, for allowing the current tedium
of their journey to prey on his mind in this fashion, and for allowing
it to induce this sort of paranoia in him. The best thing for him to
do was just forget this stupidity, and get some obviously much needed
sleep.

As Chakotay prepared himself for bed, he tried to ignore the thoughts
that swirled in his mind, but he couldn't. He grimaced as he lay back
on his bed, and asked for lights out. He needed a distraction. He
closed his eyes and stretched luxuriously, trying to relax his body.
Chakotay knew he had the perfect distraction waiting for him in his
mind and smiled to himself in languorous anticipation. He ran his
hands down his body, and sighed in pleasure as his mind began to play
through his favourite fantasy.

---

Lieutenant Tom Paris, Chief Pilot of the Federation starship USS
Voyager, leaned back against the leather seat of the 20th century car
he was sitting in, and gazed up at the stars twinkling in the Martian
sky. Soft, romantic music wafted from the radio and settled into his
soul, filling him with a delicious melancholy.

He hadn't used this program in a long time. Once it had been a
favourite, used with great success in his chase for love. He smirked
to himself, and rolled his head to look at the passenger seat next to
him. He felt certain that he had never run this program alone before.

The chase had ended for him years ago. He had found his love only a
few months after Voyager's forced journey in the Delta Quadrant began.
Found it, but not claimed it. Would he ever claim it? Tom didn't know
if he would ever have the courage, or the sheer audacity. For he had
chosen the person most impossible to claim he could ever have thought
of. He sighed loudly (there was no one to hear after all); sometimes
he seriously doubted his sanity.

He could list a hundred reasons that had made him fall in love with
Chakotay. He could list a thousand reasons why Chakotay would never
fall in love with him, Tom, but predominately there was the fact that
Chakotay disliked him, didn't trust him. Sure, they'd negotiated a
truce in the last year or so, but that was as far as it went.

Tom leaned forward and snapped off the radio. Most of the time he
didn't let the situation get to him too much. He had good friends on
Voyager now after all, Harry, B'Elanna, the members of his flight
team, and a few others. They were now the family that, in a way, he'd
never had. He loved them.

However, at times like this, when the journey went through a slow
patch and everyone had too much time to think, he would realize how
alone he truly felt. At these times, his desire soared and all he
could think about was making love to the Commander, running his hands
and his lips over that delicious, velvet skin. Tasting, teasing,
torturing that firm body until it writhed in ecstasy beneath him.

Tom shivered and closed his eyes. He'd come here to compose himself,
to once again reinforce in his mind how futile it was for him to love
Chakotay. Instead he found himself indulging in fantasy. He smirked to
himself again; there was nothing wrong with fantasies after all,
especially if they involved the sexiest guy in the Delta Quadrant. His
smirk became a grin; Ok... the universe.

The holodeck doors hissed open and he turned his head to see Harry
emerge onto the red landscape, and then pause to look around.

"Hi Tom." Harry smiled and clambered into the car next to him. "So
it's parking on Mars. I didn't think you still had this program. Mind
if I join you?"

"As long as you don't expect me to kiss you."

"Ha! You should be so lucky."

"Oh Harry, that's not what I hear from Megan Delaney."

Harry turned and glared at Tom in mock anger. "At least I'm kissing
somebody."

"Touché, Harry, touché."

They sat in companionable silence for a while, gazing at the stars.
Then Harry sighed. "You know, I always found Mars pretty boring."

Tom surveyed the scenery surrounding the car. "You're right Harry. I
guess I never really looked before."

"Hmph!" Harry snorted, and then turned in his seat to face Tom. "Hey,
so are you going to Corella's birthday party tomorrow night?"

"I wouldn't miss it. Besides Neelix wouldn't let me miss it. He's only
reminded me twenty times today! As if I'd forget Corella's birthday."

Ensign Corella Azar was one of Tom's favourite people on Voyager. She
came from a race in the Alpha Quadrant known as Vendarans. Vendarans
were amongst the first members of the Federation, and were a peaceful
and intelligent race, known to have telepathic abilities, though
nowhere near as advanced as Vulcans. Corella was slight and dark with
the unusual pale green eyes of her race, and her nature was generous
and wise, though at times she could seem cold. She was also a
brilliant pilot, second only to Tom, and as such was his back up for
Alpha shift as well as running Beta shift. She had helped Tom out of
many a scrape and he sometimes wondered what his life on Voyager would
be like without her.

Tom turned in his seat to look at Harry who was regarding him
thoughtfully. "What?"

"Does she still have that crush on you?"

Tom shifted uncomfortably in his seat. The only thing that had ever
embarrassed him about his friendship with Corella, had been the
realization of her feelings for him, and his own inability to return
them.

"Well ... No, I don't think so."

"Did you talk to her?" Harry persisted. God, he hated Harry's
persistence sometimes, even though it was this quality that had
ensured their friendship.

"Yeah, I did," he answered softly, looking down at his hands. "She
took it well. Said she understood and so... we're still friends, thank
God."

"Maybe she'd figured it out already."

Tom's eyes were sharp as he glanced at Harry, who was still staring at
him steadily. "Figured out what?"

"How you feel about Chakotay, of course."

Tom's heart stopped beating for at least 30 seconds, and he was sure
his face must have been drained of blood. Harry reached out a hand and
gripped his arm.

"Hey, Tom, it's all right," he said softly. "It's not like it's all
over the ship or anything. I just noticed ... that's all. I have to
say, I've been wondering why you haven't done anything about it." He
shook his head. "That's not like you at all."

Tom finally exhaled in an explosive hiss. "Christ Harry, and what is
it exactly, that I should do? Approach a guy who hates me? Contrary to
some opinions round here, I've never been that fond of having my face
bashed in!"

"He doesn't hate you, Tom!"

"Ok, Ok, he barely tolerates me then."

The expression in Harry's dark eyes was wistfully sad and his grip on
Tom's arm tightened. "Tom, are you so full of your own self pity that
you can't see what's right in front of you?"

Tom's heart seized again and he found himself struggling to speak.
"What... what are you talking about, Harry?"

"I'm talking about Chakotay, of course. I can't believe you really
think he dislikes you. I've seen the way he looks at you sometimes,
and believe me, there's no way that he's even indifferent towards you,
let alone disliking you."

Tom stared with disbelief into Harry's eyes. "You can't be serious."

Harry sighed in frustration and ran his hands through his hair. "For
God's sake Tom, I wouldn't joke about something I know means so much
to you. As soon as I realized how you felt, I started to watch
Chakotay when you were around. It didn't take me long to figure out
that he's attracted to you." He held up a hand as Tom opened his mouth
to interrupt. "I know that attraction may not be as strong as the
feelings you have, but it is somewhere to start."

Tom sat for a moment in silence, thinking over what Harry had just
told him. Then he looked up at his friend and the smile that crossed
his face was radiant. "Thanks Harry. You must think I'm a real idiot."

Harry smiled back. "No more than usual." After another moment of
silence he asked, "So what are you going to do about this, now?"

"Well... I guess I'll have to let him know that I'm interested."

"Tomorrow night at the party would be a good time to start."

Tom grinned at Harry and got out of the car. "Jeez, you sure are pushy
these days Harry."

Harry laughed as he followed Tom out of the holodeck. "I'll do
anything to not have to sit in this program with you."

"Touché, Harry, touché."

---
Chapter 2
---

His Prey looked good. He liked it when his Prey wore civilian clothes,
and tonight his Prey had made a fine choice. When the Time came he
hoped his Prey would be dressed as he was now, all in black.

This had been a frustrating day, he had not been close to his Prey at
any time and he'd had no opportunity to look at the Knife. He watched
his Prey wait for the turbolift and began to feel calmer. It was
becoming more difficult to control his impatience. He... desired so
much, he... needed to take his Prey... soon.

His Prey suddenly looked over his shoulder and he saw anxiety in the
dark eyes. He stepped back swiftly and felt relief that his Prey had
not seen him. He sensed his Prey's nervousness, could even smell it in
the air.

He would have to be more careful.

---

Chakotay exited the turbolift and walked slowly along the hall to
Holodeck 1. He was angry with himself. He'd experienced the nervous
feeling again, and then found himself glancing over his shoulder to
check that no one was following him. Of course there had been no one
in sight.

He paused outside the holodeck doors, not yet ready to face the crowd
on the other side. He frowned. Was this dull area of space inducing
paranoid delusions in him, or was it possible that something was
really wrong?

"Is there a problem with the door, Commander?"

The voice came from behind him and Chakotay spun on the spot to find
himself face to face with Tuvok. The Vulcan's brow rose at the
startled expression on Chakotay's face.

"Commander?"

"What? No, of course not," Chakotay attempted to stifle his irritation
and knew he was not completely successful.

Tuvok's eyes held his gaze and Chakotay was struck anew at the way an
indifferent expression could also seem so cold.

"Sorry to get in your way." Chakotay stepped back to allow Tuvok
entrance to the holodeck.

The Vulcan's gaze still held his and Tuvok frowned slightly.
"Commander, is something wrong?"

"No," Chakotay answered abruptly. He waved a hand at the doors. "Let's
just go in, shall we?"

"Very well." Tuvok stepped through the doors with Chakotay at his
heels.

The holodeck was already crowded and noisy. Chakotay hadn't seen the
resort program this full of people in a long time. He spotted Neelix
by the bar and made his way over to grab a beer, and then headed for
the group surrounding Ensign Azar, to wish her a happy birthday.

After speaking with the Ensign for a few moments, he drifted around
the resort aimlessly, occasionally stopping to speak to someone. He
felt restless and on edge, and couldn't seem to settle into a
conversation with anyone. Eventually he found himself a dim corner,
leant against the wall, and watched the crowd flow around him.

It was comforting, somehow, watching these people whom he saw
everyday, talking and laughing. He smiled to himself; he felt a
kinship with these people he had never felt before, not even in the
Maquis. He wondered about that, both groups had been fighting for the
same cause after all, each fighting for their home. Perhaps he felt
this way because Voyager's struggle was predominately one of peace,
whereas the Maquis had been forced to use violence and sometimes
doubtful means to achieve their goals.

He felt eyes upon him, and glanced swiftly around the room until he
found Tuvok watching him intently. The Vulcan was standing near the
Captain, and Chakotay frowned to himself. Shit, he thought, the last
thing I need is Tuvok bending the Captain's ear about me. He smiled
widely at Tuvok and grinned even further when he saw the Vulcan blink,
and swiftly look away.

Chakotay continued scanning the crowd, enjoying this moment of
solitude. He was beginning to feel relaxed and soon he would start to
mingle with the crowd, but first he wanted to check out exactly who
was there. He knew, deep down that he was looking for one person,
someone he enjoyed watching immensely, and then he finally saw the
blonde head moving through the resort. As usual, the sight of Tom
Paris made Chakotay's breath catch in his throat.

---

Tom wove his way through Voyager's crew until he reached the group
surrounding Corella. He found himself standing beside Harry and
grinned when he noticed the other man looking him over.

"Wow," Harry enthused softly. "I see you've decided that tonight's the
night. You look great."

"Thanks Harry," Tom replied, equally quietly. He was pleased with the
way he looked, himself. He knew the slim-fitting black pants made his
long legs look elegant and he liked the way the loose, pale green
shirt made his eyes glow. "You better be right about this, though, or
I could be spending the next seventy years in the brig."

"Well, well, so the great Tom Paris is actually nervous, is he?"

"Shut up, Harry."

Tom moved forward to stand beside Corella and gave her a swift kiss on
the cheek. "Hey, Happy birthday, sweetheart. Let me get you a drink."

Corella turned and beamed at Tom. "Tom, you're here." Her eyes widened
as she took in his outfit. "Oh boy, someone's going to get lucky
tonight." She twinkled at him mischievously.

"Corella!" Pablo Baytart flushed slightly as he looked at Tom. "Sorry
Tom, I think she's already had enough to drink somehow."

"I don't mind, Pablo," Tom glanced down and noticed Pablo's hand
entwined with Corella's. "I don't think I'm the only one here getting
lucky."

Pablo grinned happily and then turned to continue his conversation
with Chell. Tom turned back to Corella and laughed.

"So Corella, when did this happen and why didn't you tell me?"

Tom was delighted to see Corella blush faintly before she answered.
Sometimes, he had to admit, it annoyed him that she was usually so
composed.

"Umm... well, about a week ago, and we just wanted to keep it to
ourselves for a little while. You know what the gossip on this ship is
like."

"Yeah, I sure do." He smiled at her again, and then asked softly, "So
you're happy, right?"

Corella's eyes were dreamy as she answered, "Oh, Yeah."

At that moment Harry came over and handed them both a drink. "Here you
go."

Corella took her drink and then grinned at Harry. "So Harry, do you
think that Tom's being dressed to kill finally means he's going to
make a move."

Tom started and eyed Corella narrowly. "Would you two back off?"

Harry ignored him completely. "Yeah, but why he's still hanging here
with us, I don't know."

Tom glared at them both. "Neither do I. You two are getting as pushy
as B'Elanna."

"Hey! I heard that."

Tom found himself facing an indignant half-Klingon and sighed loudly,
"I give up."

"Good, now go off and do your thing."

Tom grimaced at them, but moved away from the group. Their bantering
had only succeeded in making him more nervous and he needed to find a
quiet spot to loiter in and get his thoughts together. Butterflies
fluttered in his stomach at the thought of what he was about to do.
The fact that he was just as nervous at a successful outcome as he was
about an embarrassing failure certainly didn't help matters. Even if
Harry was right about Chakotay's attraction to him, he was still
afraid of the strength of his own feelings. Afraid that he wanted more
from the Commander than the other man would be willing to give.
However, somehow Harry's pushing had created in Tom an urgency to act.
Even with his fears, he was ready to take the risk.

Finally, his eyes searched the room until he found whom he was looking
for, leaning against the wall in a dim corner. He felt the muscles in
his body tense and his confidence surge, when he saw the heat in the
dark eyes staring right back at him.

---

Chakotay had watched Tom talking with his friends, and then continued
to observe as Tom had moved away and found a spot near a pillar. He
could see that something was on Tom's mind, and he found himself
hoping that it was himself. Chakotay was well aware of Tom's
attraction to him, as he was just as aware of his own for Tom, but
he'd decided long ago that any positive action would have to come from
Tom. He simply couldn't reconcile within himself the appropriateness
of the First Officer making a pass at a junior officer, so he'd bided
his time, waiting for Tom to make a move. When those blue eyes finally
met his across the room, he knew that a move was exactly what Tom was
going to make.

Well, a little encouragement never hurt and Chakotay was a master at
encouragement. The slow smile he directed at the other man was a
vision of lazy sensuality, calculated to have Tom moving in his
direction within thirty seconds. It was good to see he hadn't lost his
touch, he thought as his eyes never left Tom.

Twenty seconds later, Tom was at his side, handing him another beer.
"Hello Commander," he breathed. "Having an enjoyable evening?"

Oh no, it wasn't going to be that easy. "Maybe."

Tom's eyes burned into his, and he wondered if B'Elanna was aware that
part of the warp core was wandering around in the holodeck. He was
having trouble keeping track of his thoughts. Maybe it was going to be
that easy.

"Good evening, gentlemen." Chakotay started slightly at the sound of
the Captain's voice and saw the amused look in Tom's eyes before the
pilot turned to answer her.

"Hello Captain. Are you having an enjoyable evening?"

"Yes, thank you Tom, I certainly am." Her eyes sparkled at them both
and somehow Chakotay just knew that she realized exactly what she was
interrupting. "So how did the flight sims on the holodeck go today,
Tom?"

Oh, well done, Kathryn, Chakotay thought as he listened to Tom
reporting on his team's performance that day. He sipped his beer and
waited until he heard her say 'Good night' and move on. Then, after a
moment, he turned back to Tom and felt his stomach flip when he found
Tom's gaze riveted to the part of his chest exposed by the unbuttoned
top of his black, silk shirt.

Chakotay felt himself starting to overheat. He wondered how the
situation had gone so far so quickly; all he wanted to do now was drag
Tom to the nearest bed. He moved closer, until his shoulder was
resting against Tom's chest and he could feel the heat of the other
man through his shirt. Tom shivered slightly and met his eyes again,
and Chakotay knew the undisguised lust in Tom's expression was
mirrored in his own eyes.

"Tom, do you want to go somewhere more private?" Chakotay asked
softly, and he snuck a hand around to rest against the back of Tom's
thigh. "Or is this too fast?"

Tom smiled. "Your quarters or mine?"

"I guess it's not too fast. Yours."

Tom straightened up and drained his beer. "Let's go then."

---

Tom felt his frustration grow when he found himself in the turbolift
with Chakotay and a couple of crewmen from engineering. He wanted to
get his hands on the Commander now. They stood together at the back of
the lift and Tom was startled when he felt Chakotay's hand resting on
his butt. He felt a bit light-headed and his heart was starting to
race. The situation seemed sureal; he couldn't believe that this
moment had come, that they were on his way to his quarters, where they
were finally going to... his mind reeled as various visions danced
before his eyes and he heard himself gasp.

Chakotay's hand tightened on his butt cheek, and he took heed of the
warning and willed himself to calm down. He didn't want to blow it
before it even began. He concentrated on the feel of Chakotay's hand
on his ass, recognizing its possessiveness. He had never liked that
sensation, but now he found himself thrilling at it. He wanted to be
possessed by this man. He wanted this man to take him.

Just in time the lift doors opened and Chakotay strode forward out of
the lift, Tom following in his wake. They stopped outside Tom's door,
and as he keyed in the code, Tom took the opportunity to slip an arm
around Chakotay's waist.

Then they were inside his quarters, in the dim light from the star
field, and Chakotay was turning in Tom's arms and pressing him back
against the wall, and already their lips had seared together. Tom
moaned as he opened his mouth to the other man's and felt Chakotay's
tongue push forward to meet his own. The kiss was long, and intense,
and when they finally broke apart both men were gasping for breath.

Tom felt shell-shocked and closing his eyes, rested his head forward
against Chakotay's forehead. He could feel the Commander's breath
caressing his cheek, and his hands caressing his back. He sighed.

"I should have done this a long time ago," he whispered.

He felt Chakotay's lips brush against his cheek. "You know, you could
have."

Tom's heart surged and he turned his head swiftly, diving hard onto
the Commander's lips. He thrust his tongue into Chakotay's mouth and
plundered with delicious abandonment. Chakotay's response was
wholehearted, and at this rate, Tom didn't think he'd be able to stand
upright much longer. He began to manoeuver Chakotay towards the
bedroom.

It didn't take Chakotay long to figure out where they were headed, and
he pulled his lips away from Tom's, grabbed his hand and pulled him to
the bed. He meant to push Tom onto the mattress, but Tom got there
first, and Chakotay found himself sprawled on his back with Tom
plastered on top of him. As he felt Tom's erection press into his own,
he decided he didn't actually mind the position and began to undo the
buttons on Tom's shirt.

Finally, he had the shirt off and the feel of Tom's skin was hot silk.
He pushed his palms on Tom's chest and felt the muscles under his
hands. Chakotay's cock was really straining now and he gripped Tom's
ass and pulled him closer, grinding himself against the other man's
erection.

The groan that erupted from Tom was explosive, and Chakotay took
advantage of his distraction, to roll them over so Tom was trapped
beneath him. Then he sat up and straddled Tom's waist, and the blue
eyes locked on his, as Chakotay removed his own shirt. Tom's hands
burned on his skin, as they caressed his chest. Then Tom swiftly moved
forward and latched his lips onto Chakotay's left nipple. As Tom's
tongue teased, Chakotay's head dropped back and this time the groan
escaped from his own lips.

Chakotay ran his hands up Tom's back and into the soft, blonde hair.
When he opened his eyes and looked down again, Tom was watching him.
He smiled at the other man and, gripping his shoulders, pushed him
gently back down to the bed, relishing the sensation of his chest
sliding against Tom's as he settled on top of him. Chakotay rested his
lips softly against Tom's and stared into his eyes. The pupils were
heavily dilated, only a thin ring of blue around them, and Chakotay
marvelled at the desire he saw in their depths. He brushed his lips
against the mouth under his, waiting for Tom's surrender. Tonight, he
wanted this man to be his, to belong to him. When the eyes he searched
closed, he knew the moment had come and he deepened the kiss, and felt
Tom melt in his arms.

As he'd gazed into those hot, dark eyes, Tom had felt instinctively
Chakotay's need to dominate their first encounter. He'd remembered his
own feelings earlier, and found it no hardship to accede to the
Commander's desire. At this moment it was, in fact, his own. He closed
his eyes, parted his lips and abandoned himself to Chakotay's passion.

They kissed deeply and roughly, as their lust grew, and eventually Tom
realized that they had somehow become fully naked. He revelled in the
Commander's body, so hard and so smooth and writhed in pleasure
underneath it. Chakotay's burning lips were sliding over his neck,
gliding and nibbling over his shoulders, and then he felt a tongue
laving at his belly. Tom's hands gripped the Commander's dark head and
his fingers spread through the thick hair. Soon now, Chakotay would
slide down and...Oh My God!

Hot wetness, surrounded his cock as Chakotay engulfed his shaft in one
quick motion. Tom groaned and bucked off the bed, but then Chakotay's
hands gripped his hips, holding him in place, and the exquisite
torture began. A velvet tongue caressed his balls and then slid along
his shaft. Then soft lips surrounded the head of his cock and he felt
the gentle scrape of teeth against the sensitive skin and almost
screamed at the intense pleasure. Next, he was sucked strongly, while
a firm hand gripped his balls and an errant finger trailed in the
crack of his ass. Then just as he really thought he was going to
explode, the mouth was removed and he found himself being savagely
kissed again.

Chakotay was starting to lose himself in his lust. He had to take Tom
soon, or it was going to be rough and he didn't want that, not the
first time. He rolled his aching cock against Tom's hip and tore his
lips away from that delicious mouth.

"Lube," he hissed, but Tom was already moving, stretching for the
drawer in his bedside unit, and in less than five seconds Chakotay had
the tube in his hand. He grabbed a pillow and flung it on the bed
beside Tom. Then he sat up and rolled Tom over onto the pillow. The
sight of Tom's gorgeous ass instilled a further sense of urgency in
him, and he flipped open the tube and quickly coated his fingers with
lube.

He ran a finger down Tom's crack and smoothly pushed a finger in his
entrance. Tom shifted forward on the pillow allowing him better
access. Chakotay glanced up and saw that Tom was resting his head
sideways on the bed so he could look back. The glitter of the eyes
watching him, flamed his need further and he pushed another finger
into Tom, stretching the tight opening.

In a surprisingly short time, Tom was pushing against him and when he
heard the soft voice begging him for more, Chakotay grabbed the lube
again, and slathered a generous amount on his hard cock. He positioned
himself between Tom's legs and then with one smooth push, and a low
groan from Tom, he was in.

Oh God, the tightness and the heat, it was better than he could ever
have imagined. Chakotay lay still for a moment savouring the
sensation. Tom was panting underneath him; trying to push back even
further, and Chakotay used the weight of his own body to hold the
younger man in place. He wanted to hear that soft plea again, and it
wasn't too long before he did.

"Please Chakotay," the whisper came. "Don't wait any longer, c'mon
please."

A low moan escaped from Chakotay's lips as he began to rock gently
back and forth. "Oh God, Tom... you feel so good."

Tom was whispering incoherently underneath him, a steady stream of
sound out of which Chakotay could occasionally make out his own name.
For some reason, this gave him a deep sense of satisfaction.

Now Chakotay rose onto his knees, pulling Tom up with him so that the
younger man was also on his knees, his head resting on his arms on the
bed. Chakotay sped up the pace, thrusting harder now and ran his hands
possessively over the other man's back.

Suddenly, Chakotay realized he wanted to see Tom's face, and he pulled
out, grinning at the other man's frustrated groan. He quickly rolled
Tom over onto his back and pulled the long legs on to his shoulders.
Before the younger man knew what had happened, Chakotay had plunged
back into him and was pounding him into the mattress.

Chakotay gazed down into Tom's eyes, and the passion he saw in them
fuelled his own. He knew he was going to come soon. He reached down
and clasped Tom's hand, smearing it with the lube still covering his
own, and then brought their joined hands to entwine Tom's shaft. Tom's
eyes closed and he arched off the bed as Chakotay guided their hands
in a rhythm matching his thrusts into Tom's beautiful body. Then he
saw the ecstatic tension on the younger man's face as he came hard,
spurting his seed over their hands and onto his own chest.

His own orgasm ripped through him, and he threw his head back and
shuddered into the body beneath him. He felt Tom's hands running up
his chest and settling on his throat, and he fell forward into Tom's
arms as Tom's legs came off his shoulders to rest on the bed.

He lay heavily on Tom for a moment, recovering, and then toppled off
to lie on his side next to the still heavily panting younger man.

"Gods Tom, that was better than I ever thought it would be." Chakotay
was surprised to find himself feeling a little overwhelmed by what
he'd just experienced.

Tom's head rolled to face him and Chakotay saw the happy smile on his
face. "Are you telling me you've fantasized about me, Chakotay?"

Chakotay chuckled. "Well, I may be First Officer, but I am still human
you know." He leaned forward and kissed those tantalizing lips.

"In that case," Tom replied when they broke apart, "I'll admit I've
done some pretty heavy fantasizing of my own."

"Good." Chakotay kissed him again. "We'll have plenty of ideas to go
on with, then."

Tom felt his heart swell with relief and happiness. At least he knew
Chakotay wanted to be with him again, that this wasn't just a
one-night thing. He gazed into the warm brown eyes and then saw the
heavy lids drooping. He felt exhausted himself.

Chakotay got up and disappeared into the bathroom, returning with a
damp cloth, which he used to clean them both off. Tom lay on his back
and stared at the ceiling as Chakotay disappeared into the bathroom
again. He wondered nervously what would happen next. Would the
Commander leave?

He sighed in contentment when Chakotay returned and pulling up the
blankets, cuddled closer, taking Tom in his arms. Then he drifted into
sleep.

---
Chapter 3
---

He had discovered a way to watch his Prey more closely. He had emerged
from the shadows and now followed his Prey openly. This seemed,
strangely, to be the best way to exercise more caution in the pursuit
of his Prey.

When surrounded by others, his Prey was more relaxed, less sensitive
to danger. So, now he followed always amidst members of Voyager's
crew. There was an intense exhilaration in being closer to his Prey
than ever before.

Though lately, he sensed something about his Prey that disturbed him.
He no longer felt the complete possession of his Prey that he had
previously known; no longer felt that his Prey was also waiting for
the Time to come. It was as though his Prey had given some part of
himself to another.

The feeling angered him. He found that he had to check the Knife more
often, and he craved to touch it, to feel it's delicious weight in his
hand again.

Still, his Prey would belong only to him, when the Time came.

---

Tom Paris sauntered into the Mess Hall, grabbed a tray and joined the
food queue. A week had now passed since the night of Corella's
birthday, the night his life had changed so dramatically.

He no longer felt insecue about Chakotay wanting to continue their
relationship. While he still felt unsure about the nature of their
association, he was certain that the Commander did want to be with
him. They had spent most nights together since that first mind-blowing
encounter, and the sex had continued to be... he smiled to himself...
fantastic. Chakotay had also seemed to enjoy his company, and they had
spent time together, in the holodeck or Tom's quarters, just talking
and joking around. The fact that other crewmembers were beginning to
notice their relationship made Tom feel even more secure. Surely
Chakotay would not have allowed that if he wasn't, at least mildly,
interested in something long term?

Tom frowned to himself as he dolloped brightly coloured blobs of slop
on his tray. Still, there was something not quite right. He could
sense that Chakotay was holding back from him, maybe didn't even trust
him enough to commit. Every time he thought about this, it was like a
steel band clenched around his heart and squeezing the life out of
him.

Tom scanned the mess hall and spotted Harry and Corella sitting at a
table near the view port. Great, Chakotay was in a meeting with the
Captain, and he really didn't feel like being alone, so he headed
over.

"Hi, mind if I join you?"

"Hey Tom, it's good to see you. You've been so busy lately," Corella's
smile was wide and teasing.

"Yeah? Well, so have you," Tom was pleased to see a faint blush creep
over her face. He noticed the distracted look on Harry's face and
asked, "Waiting for B'Elanna? Where is she?"

Harry smiled. "Engineering, of course." He looked at Tom more closely
and then asked with deliberate casualness, "So, how's it going?"

"Jeez Harry, don't try to be so subtle. Everything's fine."

Corella was also gazing at Tom. "It's just that you look a bit tense."

Tom took a mouthful of food and grimaced. "I usually am at meal
times."

Harry laughed and pushed his own tray aside. "Tell me about it." Then
his expression became more serious as he peered at Tom again.
"Something is wrong, though. You've been so happy all week, and now
you seem... " He lowered his voice, "Did you and Chakotay have a
fight?"

Tom sighed and pushed his tray away. "No."

"Well, what's wrong, then?" Corella asked, concern shining in her
eyes.

Tom sighed again in irritation. "Darn, you two sure know how to gang
up on a guy!" It annoyed him that they could see through his defences
so easily. The thing was, though, he really needed to talk to someone.
"Ok, ok, I am happy, really. This is more than I could ever have hoped
for. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop me wanting more. It's just...
well... I'm not sure what Chakotay wants."

Corella frowned. "Does that matter so much? Your relationship is just
beginning, you're both finding out about each other, learning what
makes the other tick. You know, the last week, everyone can see how
much happier Chakotay is, and you as well. Maybe you should just let
things progress naturally. Don't worry so much about the future, just
enjoy the present."

Tom glanced over at Harry, who nodded. "I think she's dead right,
Tom."

"I know, of course, you're right, but it's like he's holding back
sometimes. And occasionally, he seems... distracted, like something's
bothering him, and he won't tell me what."

Harry smiled reassuringly. "Tom, he is the first officer, remember? He
probably doesn't want to bore you with ship's business, and there
might be stuff he can't tell you."

Tom nodded. "Yeah, but... " Now Tom thought of what was really
bothering him and his words came out in a rush, "Do you know I haven't
been to his quarters yet? He always comes to mine, or we go to the
holodeck. It makes me feel like he doesn't really want me close, in
his own space. I know he's a very private person..." He shook his
head. "I don't understand. Is it that he doesn't trust me?"

Corella was frowning at him. "God no, Tom. Of course he trusts you."
She paused for a moment. "It does seem a bit strange though. Has he
given you any reason?"

"No, he..." he began when he was interrupted by Harry.

"Tom, have you done something you shouldn't have?"

Tom blinked and stared at Harry, who appeared to be staring at
something over Tom's right shoulder. "What are you talking about?"

Harry's dark eyes met his. "It's just that, since you came in, Tuvok
has been watching you. Don't turn around," he added as Tom shifted in
his seat. "He's still staring."

"Maybe he's just thinking," Corella said to Harry. "You know, how
sometimes when you're thinking and you find yourself staring at
something."

Harry shook his head slightly. "No, he seems too focused for that."

"Is he still looking?" Tom asked.

"No, he's stopped now."

Tom stood up swiftly. He felt restless. He needed to get out of the
room and go to someplace where he could think. "Well, I don't know
what it was about. My record is squeaky clean at the moment. I'll
catch you guys later."

"Tom, do you want to talk...?" Harry began, but Tom was already gone.

---

The Knife was no longer enough. Looking at it was not the fulfilment
it had been. Now he needed something extra. Something that came from
his Prey, that he would have close to him when he could not be near
his Prey.

He stared unwaveringly at the stars streaking past his view port,
trying to formulate a way of achieving this goal. An idea began to
grow in his mind and he turned from the view port. He found himself,
once again, gazing at the Knife.

Perhaps the Knife would help him.

---

Chakotay sat at his desk in his office. He had finished reading the
daily reports some time ago, but he needed to think. So, he remained
in his office.

He knew he had a lot to think about. Firstly, he was so relieved that
he had experienced less of those paranoid nervous moments he had been
assailed with previously. The feeling still affected him occasionally
but he was more able to put it down to the current boredom of
Voyager's journey. Of course, he found himself grinning at the
opposite wall; it could be that he was pleasantly distracted these
days.

In fact, Chakotay had only one cause for irritation in the last few
days, and the smile faded and a frown took its place as he
contemplated it. Tuvok. It seemed that every time Chakotay turned
around nowadays, he came face to face with the stoic Vulcan. Tuvok was
not necessarily intrusive, they didn't actually talk that much, he
just always seemed to be there. Watching Chakotay. He found it
difficult to ask Tuvok about this, as the watching was done so
covertly. Chakotay doubted he would have noticed if he hadn't already
been feeling more alert than usual.

He shook his head to clear it. After all, he had more pleasant things
to think about. For instance, Tom, his lover. Chakotay liked thinking
of Tom as his lover. It was, of course, the truth, but it was also the
most wonderful gift he'd ever had in his life. And the best thing was,
he'd never expected it to be so good.

The past week had been simply, amazing. The time he had spent with Tom
had only increased his physical desire, but as well as that, he'd
gotten to know the other man in ways he'd never thought he would even
want to. After all the time spent together, Chakotay was fast
concluding that he was a very lucky man. Tom was special.

Even the argument they'd had two days ago, had somehow brought them
closer. After a meeting with the Captain, Chakotay had found Tom,
alone in an observation lounge, staring at the stars. He'd realized
immediately that Tom was upset about something, and approached him
with caution, not sure if he wanted to deal with any drama at this
stage in their relationship.

Tom had been upset, and in no uncertain terms he'd accused Chakotay of
keeping him at a distance. For a moment, Chakotay's reaction had been
to walk out and get away from Tom as quickly as possible. He didn't
want to be with someone who was insecure and needy. He had to face
enough emotional problems in his role as impromptu counsellor.

Something had stopped him, though. He'd looked into Tom's eyes, and
what he'd seen there, had not been neediness. It had been love. After
that, all he wanted to do was reassure Tom. Chakotay had always been a
very private person. He knew that he found it difficult to let another
person into his life. He'd suffered hurt and betrayal too many times
in the past, and caution had become second nature to him. He explained
to Tom, that as much as he wanted them to be together, the situation
was new to him and he needed time to take down his defences.

The expression in Tom's eyes after Chakotay made his confession, had
melted his heart and the next thing he knew they were locked together
in a passionate embrace, which rapidly got out of hand. Chakotay had
barely had the time to engage a privacy lock, before Tom was on his
knees giving him the most mind-numbing blowjob Chakotay had ever
experienced in his life.

Chakotay took a deep breath and cleared his mind of the erotic images
that were flooding it. Yes, Tom was special, and Chakotay's feelings
about the man were becoming more profound everyday. Tom was crawling
into his heart and making his home there, and Chakotay wanted it to
stay that way.

He asked the computer for Tom's location and was informed he was in
the mess hall. Good, he'd join his lover for dinner, then take him
back to his quarters and have him for dessert.

---

Tom was in a heightened state of arousal and joy as he entered the
turbolift with Chakotay. The Commander had joined him in the mess
hall, dragged him to a table of their own and then proceeded to flirt
outrageously with him. Tom had been unable to believe his eyes and
ears, and he knew that Chakotay's enjoyment increased at Tom's
confusion.

Next, Chakotay asked him to spend the night in his quarters, and as
Tom gazed into those twinkling dark eyes, he knew that a barrier had
come down. His heart sang.

All the way to Chakotay's quarters, the Commander continued his
seduction and Tom was aflame with desire when they finally entered the
living room. Before Tom could think, Chakotay had turned, pushed him
against the wall and was devouring his mouth. Tom's response was
enthusiastic and he moaned against Chakotay's lips. Chakotay growled
and tightened his arms around Tom's waist, plunging his tongue harder
into Tom's willing mouth.

Chakotay's lips left Tom's and he began to trail kisses down Tom's
throat, pulling his turtleneck out of the way. Tom sighed and opened
his eyes, gazing over Chakotay's shoulder into the dimly lit room. His
eyes widened and his body stiffened at what he saw there.

Chakotay felt Tom freeze and lifted his head to stare with concern
into Tom's shocked face. "What is it?"

Tom let out a quick breath. "Somehow, I always thought you'd be tidier
than this."

Chakotay turned quickly and gasped at the sight that met his eyes. His
quarters were totally trashed.

---
Chapter 4
---

Tom stood in the middle of Chakotay's quarters and gazed in wonder
about him. The devastation was complete. Even the furniture was in
ruins. The usually indestructible Star Fleet couch was in shreds, the
stuffing spilling out onto the floor. It looked like it had been
slashed with an incredibly sharp knife. Ripped books and objects were
strewn all over the floor, chairs were mangled together in a heap, and
even the desk was overturned. The most astonishing thing was that the
chaos only affected this room. The bedroom and bathroom were
untouched.

Chakotay was standing near the view port, talking quietly with Tuvok
and the Captain. Tom was relieved to see him looking his composed
self. When Chakotay had first turned and seen the destruction in his
quarters, Tom had been afraid for a moment that he was going to pass
out. He'd staggered back into Tom's arms and Tom could see that his
face had drained of color. In all the time he'd known Chakotay, Tom
had never seen him so ... distraught. It had only lasted a moment, and
then Chakotay was striding forward into the mess and comming for
Tuvok. However, he did not speak again until Tuvok arrived.

Tuvok had immediately commed the Captain, and Tom had felt that maybe
he should leave, but then Chakotay had glanced at him, and the
expression in the other man's eyes told him he should stay. Now, he
stood and waited while they talked.

He glanced around the room again, and when he looked back at them
again, he discovered they had finished talking and were watching him.
There was something unnerving about their expressions, and he wondered
if he'd been talking to himself or something. He smiled at them
nervously, as they moved towards him.

The Captain spoke first. "Tom, we have decided that, at the moment,
what has happened here, should not become common knowledge on the
ship. I trust that you will not talk about this with anyone."

Tom frowned as he answered. "Of course, Captain, but... is there
something extra going on here that I don't know about?"

There was a moment of silence, and Tom glanced at Chakotay to find him
staring at the floor.

"Commander, I think it would be best if you explained the situation to
Mr. Paris," Tuvok spoke. "Now that your liaison with the Lieutenant is
becoming obvious to other crew members, it would be wise to consider
his own safety."

"My own safety?" Tom was incredulous. "What is going on here?"

Finally, Chakotay met his eyes. The frustration in his gaze was
evident. "There may be nothing going on, Tom, but Tuvok is right, you
should know what we think might be happening." He sighed and paused
for a moment. "A few weeks ago, I began to feel as if someone was
watching me. It was all very nebulous and vague, and I thought that it
was some sort of slight paranoia brought on by boredom." His eyes
scanned the wreckage in the room. "Now that this has happened, it
seems I may have been right about someone stalking me. If that's true,
then by association, you may also be in danger."

For a moment, Tom was speechless. This sort of behavior just didn't
happen on Voyager. "Did you ever see anyone?"

Chakotay shook his head. "No, and neither has Tuvok."

Tom transferred his gaze to the Vulcan. "You felt this too?"

Tuvok's eyebrow rose. "'Felt' is, of course, an inaccurate
description. I noticed that Commander Chakotay was unsettled.
Realizing that this was unusual behavior for the Commander, I began to
observe him. I am certain that, at times, there is someone following
the Commander, but I have been unsuccessful in any attempt to discover
who this person is. I have also 'kept my eye' on you, Lieutenant, and
at this time, I do not think you are a target."

"Tuvok," it was the Captain's voice, and Tom realized, with surprise,
that she had remained silent throughout their conversation. "I think
you should perform a DNA sweep of this room."

"I certainly shall, Captain," Tuvok replied. "However, unfortunately
there will be DNA traces from the majority of the crew. At some time
or other, most of the crew have been here on some type of business."
He glanced at Chakotay, who nodded. "It will be hard to determine
which traces should not be here, particularly in this... disorder."

The Captain was aghast. "Are you saying this 'stalker' is a member of
my crew?"

Tuvok's habitual frown deepened. "I assure you, Captain, there are no
stowaways on board Voyager."

Captain Janeway's eyes were like granite. "I want an explanation for
this, Tuvok. I will not tolerate this sort of behavior on my ship."

"I will do my best, Captain. However, I am afraid that the
investigation will have to be low-key, if we are to keep this quiet.
It concerns me that the 'stalker' has come out into the open like
this. He, or she, is growing confident, and more dangerous. The danger
to the Commander is real, and I will not be able to assign a security
team to him."

"I wouldn't let you anyway," Tom could hear the anger in Chakotay's
voice, and knew that he felt humiliated by the whole situation. He
vowed to himself that he would be the Commander's unofficial security
team.

A thought struck Tom and he turned to the Captain. "You know, maybe we
should talk to the Doctor. I know he's added some information on
mental illness to his program, he might be able give us some insight
on this person."

The Captain nodded. "A good idea, Tom. In fact, I'll go and speak to
him now." She glanced at Tuvok. "You'd better get onto that sweep. I
want a report in two hours, then I want the four of us to meet in my
Ready room at 0700 hours." She grimaced at the mess surrounding her,
and then laid a hand on Chakotay's arm. "I'm sorry about this,
Chakotay. I'll discreetly arrange for some new furniture for you. The
most important thing for you to do now, is go through all of this,"
she waved a hand, "and determine if anything is missing."

Chakotay smiled and nodded. "Yes, Captain. Thank you."

---

An hour later, Tuvok had left to analyze the readings from the DNA
sweep, and Chakotay and Tom were on the floor, sifting through the
debris. Tom was keeping a discreet eye on Chakotay. The Commander had
not said much since Tuvok had left, and his face was grim. Finally,
Tom reached out a hand and rested it on Chakotay's arm. The Commander
stopped what he was doing and lifted his head, gazing into Tom's eyes.

"What?" Tom could here the tenseness in Chakotay's voice.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?"

Chakotay sighed and sat back on his heels. "What could I tell you?
That I had a vague feeling someone was watching me? You would have
thought I was going crazy." He paused for a moment, and the expression
in his eyes as he looked into Tom's was enigmatic. "You know, I'll
understand if you have second thoughts about us, now. I know you
didn't expect to become embroiled in this sort of drama, to maybe be
in danger yourself. You can leave if you want to."

Tom's grip on Chakotay's arm tightened. "Chakotay, don't be a complete
idiot. You think I'd walk out on you when you're in trouble? Whatever
our relationship was, I'd never do that." He paused for a moment, and
felt that steel band around his heart again. "You're not trying to
tell me that you've had second thoughts, are you?"

Chakotay gazed into Tom's eyes for a long moment, and then Tom saw the
expression in them change to warmth, and the Commander shook his head.
"No," he said softly. "I'm not having second thoughts. And I'm glad
you're here."

The relief Tom felt went straight to his head, making him feel
slightly euphoric. His smile was dazzling. "Good," he replied. "And
you know, it's always possible this is some sort of elaborate
practical joke. A very sick one, of course."

Chakotay's eyes swept over the mess surrounding them, and focused on
the shredded couch. "It doesn't feel like a joke."

Tom leaned forward and rested his hand against Chakotay's cheek,
bringing the Commander's face around to meet his eyes. "You're right,
it doesn't." Then he leaned forward and gently brushed his lips across
Chakotay's. He felt the other man's lips part slightly and leaned
forward again, to deepen the kiss. He plundered Chakotay's mouth until
he felt the tension slip out of his body and he relaxed in Tom's arms.
When Tom finally lifted his head, both men were panting slightly.

"You know what I think?" Tom asked, as he stared down into Chakotay's
dilated eyes.

"What?"

"I think we should go to bed. It's getting late, and after all, now we
have that meeting, before our shift begins."

Chakotay's dimples flashed and he got to his feet, pulling Tom with
him. "Let's go, then."

"Jesus, don't drag my arm off!" Tom complained, laughing as they made
their way to the bedroom. In his heart, he was thrilled at Chakotay's
eagerness.

They landed on the bed together, and Tom rolled so that he was lying
on top of Chakotay, and plastered his lips onto the Commander's once
more. The kiss was fiery hot, and soon Chakotay was moaning into Tom's
mouth and running his hands over his body, trying to tear at his
uniform. Suddenly Chakotay pushed at Tom, and his voice was rough as
he suggested they both get out of these 'damn clothes'.

That act accomplished, after a few side trips into other activities,
they found themselves on the bed again. Tom embarked on an oral
examination of Chakotay's body, which had the Commander writhing
sinuously all over the mattress. Eventually he made his way back up to
Chakotay's lips and the Commander kissed him fiercely.

"Tom," Chakotay's voice breathed in his ear. "I want you. I want you
to fuck me."

Tom couldn't believe his ears. This was something he had begun to
think would never happen; that Chakotay would never give himself to
Tom like this. His arms tightened around his lover and he nuzzled his
lips against his shoulder.

He cleared his throat. "I want that too, Chakotay."

He sat up and Chakotay reached across to the unit beside the bed, and
then handed some lube to Tom. Then he rolled over, and Tom was
confronted with a sight that made his cock stiffen even more than he
had thought possible. He groaned aloud, and saw Chakotay turn his head
to grin at him.

"C'mon Tom," he laughed. "Get a move on."

Tom grinned back. "Oh you're asking for it now, Chakotay."

Chakotay's smile was impudent. "I hope you can keep that promise,
Lieutenant. I'd hate to see you in the brig."

Tom flicked a finger at Chakotay's butt cheek and snickered when the
Commander wriggled. "On your knees, Commander."

"Oh yes sir, Lieutenant," Chakotay simpered as he rose to his hands
and knees.

Tom froze for a moment in surprise, and then he burst into laughter.
He flicked open the lube, slicked up his fingers and slid one into
Chakotay's entrance. He leaned forward and breathed into Chakotay's
ear. "Time to get serious now, don't you think lover?"

Chakotay gasped as a second finger joined the first. "Oh yes,
definitely."

Tom rotated his fingers inside Chakotay and with his other hand
lubricated his own rock hard erection. "Good." He felt Chakotay
pushing against his fingers. "You ready?"

Chakotay could tell by Tom's voice that his lover meant business, and
he found himself shivering in anticipation at what was to come. He'd
wanted Tom to take control, and it excited him how quickly his lover
had responded. He didn't care if he was completely ready or not; he
needed Tom now.

"Yes" he rasped.

He felt Tom position himself behind him and then felt the blunt head
of Tom's cock, pushing into him. There was a burning sensation, as he
felt himself stretching to accommodate Tom's thickness, and then the
head popped through and he felt Tom pushing further inside, until he
felt Tom's balls, resting against his own.

The feeling was... sensational, and when Tom began to move it got even
more intense. His lover started slowly, and then set up a punishing
rhythm, pounding into Chakotay, pushing them forward along the bed,
until Chakotay's head bumped against the wall and he flung out his
hands on the wall to steady himself. Chakotay reveled in every moment,
grinding himself back against Tom, urging him to go faster, harder.

Tom was only too happy to oblige. He felt instinctively that Chakotay
needed this, needed to lose himself in a fast, hard fuck. He could see
the appeal himself. He reached his hand under Chakotay and gripped his
cock in a firm hold. He felt it throb in his hand, and when he began
to pump it roughly, the groan that erupted from Chakotay was harsh and
loud. He only needed to stroke a few times before he felt Chakotay
shudder beneath him, and the Commander's hot seed spilled over his
hand, burning against his skin.

A few moments later, he was shuddering himself as his own seed spurted
deep inside Chakotay. Then they collapsed onto the bed, in a boneless
heap of satiated flesh. After a while Tom felt Chakotay moving beneath
him, and he rolled off the Commander and came to rest at his side.
Chakotay turned to face him, looked into his eyes and then leaned
forward, kissing him soundly.

"Thank you, Tom. That was... wonderful," he said against Tom's lips,
and continued to kiss him firmly.

Tom was trembling, and Chakotay wrapped his arms around him and held
him close. "Any time," he mumbled into Chakotay's chest.

They lay like that for a while, not talking, just enjoying the
afterglow. Neither of them had any idea of when the other finally went
to sleep.

---

Chakotay woke early, and glanced at the chronometer. 0500 hours. He
grimaced as he realized the extent of the mess on his stomach and
chest. He gently disentangled himself from the softly, snoring man
beside him and went to the bathroom to clean up.

He didn't feel like going back to sleep, so he donned his robe, and
wandered out to gaze at the catastrophe that was his living room. The
mess was still impressive, though they had managed to clear a large
part of the floor last night. He felt the rush of anger again, at the
situation he found himself in. Who, on Voyager, would do this to him?
It was frightening to think that someone on the ship was this mentally
ill, and they couldn't see who it was.

He shook his head. He needed to calm down, meditating for a while
would probably be a good idea. Or better yet, a vision quest might
give him some insight.

He scanned the room, hoping to see his medicine bundle without having
to root about in the debris. No such luck. He sighed, and committed
himself to an extensive search.

Half an hour later, Chakotay sat on the floor and rested his head in
his hands. He had searched every section of the room thoroughly and
now had to resign himself to the fact that his medicine bundle was
gone.

His anger returned in force, and the worst thing was, there was
nothing he could do about it.

---
Chapter 5
---

At 0700 hours, Tom and Chakotay entered the Captain's Ready Room and
found Tuvok and the Doctor already there with the Captain. Tom was
again concerned about Chakotay. Since informing him that his medicine
bundle was missing, the Commander had retreated into silence yet
again. Tom was beginning to recognize that while, as a counsellor,
Chakotay advocated talking about problems, when it came to his own, he
had to be drawn out of himself in order to communicate.

The Captain offered them coffee, which Tom accepted, and Chakotay did
not, and they settled down to business. Tuvok reported that the
results of the DNA sweep had been pretty much as expected. Then the
Captain looked at Chakotay and asked if he had discovered anything
missing.

"My medicine bundle," Chakotay answered shortly.

"Your medicine bundle," the Captain repeated and she frowned. "That's
a pretty personal item."

"More personal than my underwear, that's for sure."

Everyone in the room recognized the suppressed anger in Chakotay's
voice, and Tuvok's eyebrow rose.

"Commander, I know it is difficult, but it would be wise to maintain a
certain detachment. Your reaction could aggravate this situation. You
will be giving encouragement to the 'stalker'."

"Thank you Tuvok, I'll keep that in mind."

Tom cringed inwardly at the tone of Chakotay's voice, and saw Tuvok's
eyebrow rise even higher, while the Doctor looked on with fascinated
interest.

The Captain was frowning. "Chakotay," her voice was soft and calming.
"I'm sorry about the medicine bundle, but Tuvok is right. I'd rather
you lose a personal item, than your ... well, I think you should be
careful about giving this person any incentive. That's what this
person wants most, a reaction from you."

Chakotay sighed heavily. "Yes, Captain."

Tom decided it was best to get the focus off Chakotay. "So do we have
any idea who this person is?"

The Captain glanced at Tuvok, who shook his head and answered, "I'm
afraid not, at this time."

The Captain spoke, "I still can't believe that it's a member of the
crew. Even if the motive is not as severe as we think, breaking into
someone's quarters, particularly the First Officer's, and destroying
his belongings, is something I never thought I'd see on this ship."

Tom looked up hopefully. "Maybe there's some sort of alien influence
on someone," he suggested.

The Doctor spoke up. "I thought of that already. Mr Tuvok and I
performed a level 10-sensor sweep of the ship and crew earlier. We
found no evidence of an alien presence. However, to be absolutely
sure, I'd have to perform a proper examination of each crewmember,
which is hardly conducive to a discreet investigation. I'm afraid
you'll have to wait until you have a suspect."

"Doctor, can you give us any idea of what we can expect from this
person next?" the Captain asked.

"Well, it's difficult...my program isn't really equipped to provide
these sort of profiles. There are so many factors to consider. The
nature of the obsession for instance, is it sexual, or jealousy, or
even racial, or..."

The Captain held up a hand. "I get the idea, Doctor."

"Then, there is the motivation behind the obsession, what factors
triggered it. Perhaps the Commander rejected this person in some way
and..."

"Doctor, taking all these factors into consideration, do you have any
idea what we can expect next?" the Captain asked again.

"Ah... no, not really. Mental illness can be hard to predict, you see.
Particularly when you don't know what type you are dealing with."

"I see, thank you, Doctor," the Captain's voice was clipped.

"So what do we do, then?" Tom asked.

"At the moment, we wait and watch," Tuvok answered him. "The Commander
will have to take some precautions to ensure his own safety. A high
security privacy lock will need to be in place on his quarters at all
times and being alone would not be advisable."

Chakotay, who had been studying his hands, looked up. "So now I have
to have a nursemaid, do I?"

"Not nursemaids, Chakotay," it was the Captain who answered him.
"Friends, who don't want to see anything happen to you."

Tom could see that Chakotay now felt ashamed of himself and he wanted
desperately to reach across and take the Commander's hand.

"I'm sorry, Captain. I know you're all just trying to help." He
glanced over at Tom and smiled. "Besides, having someone around won't
be such a hardship."

Tom was stunned at Chakotay's revealing comment, and then felt like
smirking when he saw the Captain's slight blush. He maintained his
composure, however, and sat in a satisfied and happy daze as the
Captain wrapped things up and dismissed them.

---

He had touched the Knife, and now it was part of him, an extension of
his soul. He had taken a risk, touching the Knife before it was Time,
but now he was glad he had. His symbiosis with the Knife would give
added meaning to the taking of his Prey. The Time, when it came, would
transcend everything he had experienced in his life before.

It had also been a risk to use the Knife in his Prey's quarters. He
had gone there, to take something from his Prey, knowing beforehand
what he would take. Luckily, he had found it in the main room. He was
reluctant to enter the sleeping area of his Prey; this was an area
off-limits until the Time came. He had stood in the doorway, for a
long time, gazing at the bed. This was where he would take his Prey.

Then he had remembered the Knife in his hand. He had brought it with
him because he could not imagine being in this place without it. More
importantly, there was something else he wanted to do here, and the
Knife was here to help him do it. His Prey needed to be reminded of
his claim. His Prey's distraction... irritated him. It was not right
that his Prey should think of another. The Knife would help him to
warn his Prey.

Twenty minutes later he had looked around the main room in
satisfaction. This destruction would be sufficient for his purpose. He
glanced down at the Knife in his hand. It had worked well on the
couch, but he was concerned that the rough fabric would have dulled
its edge. He took the Knife home and sharpened it, cared for it.

Since then, he had lovingly sharpened the Knife many times, enjoying
his new relationship with it. On one rare occasion, he had even slept
with it, gently clasping it in his hand, throughout the night.

He also spent time with the item he had taken from his Prey. He had
worked hard to find a way to protect it from the ship's sensors and
the smug satisfaction he felt at fooling the others increased the
items value all the more. Having the item gave him a sense of peace,
quelling the often overwhelming need to take his Prey, giving him
patience. He needed patience, at the moment. His warning to his Prey
had alerted others to his intentions and it was harder now to watch
his Prey. His Prey was rarely alone.

However, the worry he sensed in his Prey and in some of the others,
more than made up for this.

---

Two weeks had passed since the attack on Chakotay's quarters, and Tom
once again found himself in the holodeck celebrating another
crewmember's birthday. This time it was Sue Nicolletti and he could
see her across the room with Harry, Corella and Vorik, talking
enthusiastically.

Chakotay hadn't arrived yet. He was in a meeting with the Captain, and
Tom knew that the Captain would escort Chakotay to the holodeck when
they finished. It had been a difficult two weeks. Chakotay deeply
resented his constant bodyguard, and had scared the hell out of them a
couple of times by slipping away. He'd given up on this, when after
disappearing for half an hour, Tom had found him alone in an
observation lounge. Chakotay had turned as Tom walked through the
door, and then paused as he took in the expression on Tom's face. Then
he'd promised never to do it again.

They had spent a lot of time together in the last couple of weeks.
Luckily, there was no feeling of this being forced upon them. In all
honesty, they both knew they would have spent the time together
anyway. The only time when they'd really been apart, had been when
Chakotay had gone on a two-day away mission with Tuvok, to survey a
moon. Tom was glad Chakotay had gone, the time spent not having to
look over his shoulder all the time had done the Commander no end of
good.

There had been no success finding Chakotay's medicine bundle. Tuvok
had performed a covert search of the ship and had not found it. Even
the sensor scan Tuvok had performed had not detected the bundle, and
the Vulcan was still trying to figure out why. Tom could see that
Chakotay felt slightly lost without his bundle, like a part of him was
missing; and Tom's heart would ache whenever he saw Chakotay trying to
meditate without it.

Even with all this stress, however, their relationship grew closer,
and now Tom could not imagine his life without Chakotay. It thrilled
him and at the same time scared him, particularly with the current
threat to his lover. He was sure though, that Chakotay felt the same
way, even though he hadn't said anything. Tom had never been so happy
in his life.

Tom shrugged himself out of his reverie, and glanced over at the
birthday girl. Pablo Baytart, the Delaney twins and B'Elanna had now
joined her as well and they waved at him to join them. He went to the
bar, grabbed a couple of drinks, and headed over.

"What on earth were you doing skulking in that corner, Tom?" Corella
asked as soon as he was close enough to hear.

Tom handed Sue a drink and wished her a 'happy birthday' before he
replied. "Just thinking."

B'Elanna's hand gripped his shoulder painfully and she sniggered at
him. "I suppose you don't get much time for thinking these days."

As the others laughed, Tom eyed B'Elanna speculatively and came to a
decision. "Actually, B'El," he drawled. "I was thinking about you."

She sniggered again. "I don't think Chakotay would be too happy to
hear that."

Oh you think you're so clever, don't you? Tom thought. Then he spoke
again. "I was wondering when you and Harry are going to stop
pretending that he's going out with Megan, and come clean about your
relationship."

There was instant, complete silence and everyone standing close to
B'Elanna took a step back.

He heard Corella whisper, "Another suicide mission, Tom?" and was
satisfied to see Harry's face turn the color of Neelix' famous
beetroot mousse.

Then Megan Delaney's voice rippled through the room in delighted
laughter. She leaned over and kissed Harry's flaming cheek. "There you
go, darling, I think it's over. I told you we wouldn't be able to
carry on for long. I still don't know why you both wanted to do it,
anyway."

Surprisingly, B'Elanna still had not reacted. She stood beside Tom,
hand gripping his shoulder and gazed at him with an indecipherable
expression.

Finally she spoke. "Ok smart ass, when did you figure that out?"

He smiled mischievously. "I think it was the morning after the night
you got together." He smirked. "You glowed, B'Elanna. There's only one
explanation for that type of glow."

"And you'd know that, wouldn't you?" Her eyes narrowed.

"B'Elanna," it was Harry's voice.

She removed her hand from Tom's shoulder and turned to Harry, smiling
innocently. "What? I wasn't going to do anything. You know I wouldn't
hurt your best friend."

Harry gazed fondly at her. "Yeah, sure." His voice was dry.

When B'Elanna reached across and took his hand, raising it to her
lips, everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

"I am curious, though," Vorik stated. "Why did you enact such an
elaborate deception?"

"Well... " Harry replied. "Like Corella always says, you know the
gossip on this ship."

"Besides," B'Elanna continued. "It was fun, all that sneaking around.
It was meant to be a practical joke as well, except flyboy here," she
glared at Tom, "blew it for us."

Tom smiled sweetly. "I'm so sorry, B'El." Everyone laughed.

"Did we miss something important here?" The Captain's voice was
amused, and then she pointed to Harry and B'Elanna's linked hands. "So
you two finally let everyone in on the secret, did you?"

Harry groaned. "Not you as well?"

Captain Janeway laughed. "It is my ship, Ensign. Do you think I don't
know what's happening on it?"

As everyone laughed again, Tom turned to find Chakotay standing beside
him. His lover looked relaxed and his eyes were twinkling. When
Chakotay's gorgeous brown eyes met his, Tom felt a spark of
electricity travel straight to his groin.

Chakotay smiled at him. "You blew their cover, right?"

"B'El was annoying me. I couldn't let her get away with it."

Chakotay slipped his hand into Tom's. "Of course not."

Half an hour later, they were still in the holodeck. Chakotay was off,
talking with some old Maquis friends and Tom was leaning against a
wall, watching, with amusement, Tuvok's discreet, though protective
hovering. He had learnt in the last couple of weeks, just how much the
Vulcan valued the friendship of the First Officer.

"You seem so happy, Tom." Tom turned and found Corella leaning on the
wall beside him. "There's something about this ship at the moment,
everyone seems to be falling in love."

"I fell in love years ago, Corella," Tom answered.

Corella sighed dramatically. "Oh that's so romantic, Tom." She
flinched as he thumped her on the arm. "Still, it's good to see the
Commander falling in love."

Tom's heart came to a halt and then sped up. "You think that?"

She patted his arm. "Don't you? I'm slightly telepathic remember.
While I can't read his mind, or yours, I am sensitive to certain...
nuances. It's hard to explain. Just take my word for it."

Tom didn't know exactly what to say. "Ok, thanks."

"No, problem," she turned and gazed at him seriously. "There is
something wrong though, isn't there? You both seem worried about
something, actually the Captain, too."

Shit, Tom thought, gotta deflect this. He thought for a moment and
then answered. "Maybe, but that would be ship's business, Corella. I'd
tell you if you needed to know."

She took the snub well. "Ok Tom, but if you ever need to talk about
anything beside's ship's business, you know where to find me."

He nodded. "Thanks, I appreciate it." He noticed Chakotay heading in
his direction. "I'll see you later, Corella. My own telepathy tells me
that I'll be leaving in a moment."

She laughed and went to find Pablo.

---

The desire was growing again. He would fondle the Knife, look at the
medicine bundle, and still the desire would grow. It was frustrating.
Would the Time never come?

His Prey was growing relaxed again. The Other was beginning to have
too much influence over his Prey. He knew eventually he would have to
deal with the Other, but there was a Time for that as well, and it had
not yet arrived.

Perhaps there was something he could do for his Prey, in the meantime.

---
Chapter 6
---

"Well, Tom, I think I've finally talked B'Elanna into forgiving you."
Harry thumped his friend on the back and took the seat opposite him,
sliding his food tray along the table.

Tom gulped down his mouthful of pasta and coughed. "That's just great,
Harry," he wheezed. "But you're the one trying to choke me to death."

Harry grinned. "Yeah, I didn't say I'd forgiven you."

Tom took a sip of his tea. "C'mon, the whole thing was getting
ridiculous, over a month of you two and Megan indulging in that bad
play acting. I just couldn't take it anymore."

"Yeah sure, you just wanted the focus off you and Chakotay. You know
you two have been the hot topic of gossip for the last few weeks."

Tom was silent for a minute. "So, what exactly has everyone been
saying, anyway?"

Harry smiled. "Hey, you should be used to it by now." He gazed at Tom,
and then realized he was waiting. "Oh Ok, it's just been the usual
romantic gossip, you know, speculation on how long you'll last,
'sightings of fraternization', that sort of thing." He laughed. "By
the way, everyone knows about your little 'adventure' in the cargo
bay."

Tom was mortified to feel himself blushing. "Shit, how did that ...?
Jeez, Chakotay better not find out that everyone knows."

"Well, I'm certainly not going to tell him."

Tom took another sip of his tea, and watched Harry eat for a while.
"So has there been any other gossip, about Chakotay and I?"

Harry looked up. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, you know... negative stuff." He saw Harry frown and quickly
added. "I was a bit worried that it might not be popular with some of
the crew, particularly the old Maquis members, you know?"

Harry's brow cleared. "I see. No, there hasn't been anything like that
at all. In fact, I'd say the opposite. I think you're just being
paranoid."

Tom was about to take issue with that statement, when his combadge
chirped. "Janeway to Paris."

"Paris here."

"Please report to my ready room, Mr. Paris."

"On my way, Captain." Tom stood up and patted Harry on the shoulder.
"See you later, Harry."

He passed Harry and then turned around and thumped him on the back.
"By the way," he said, as Harry splattered food all over the table and
burst into a fit of coughing. "Enjoy being the new hot topic of
gossip."

Tom left the mess hall feeling satisfied. He didn't like it when Harry
got above himself.

---

When Tom got to the ready room, he found Chakotay and Tuvok already
there. The Captain waved him to a chair and then sat down herself.

"Well, gentlemen, it's been three weeks since the incident with
Chakotay's quarters. I thought we should have a follow-up. Is there
anything new to report?"

It was Chakotay who answered. "No, Captain. In fact I don't think I've
even been followed. I'm inclined to think that it was a one off
incident."

Tom shifted in his seat and opened his mouth to speak, but the Captain
held up her hand. "I know you would like this to be over and done
with, Chakotay, but I think that's a bit premature."

"I have to agree, Captain." Tom couldn't help adding.

Chakotay glanced at him reproachfully, and then sighed. "Fine."

"I also agree with the Captain." Now Tuvok spoke. "The 'stalker' would
have realized that we were aware of his presence and keeping a watch
on you. It is only logical that he, or she, would keep a low profile
under the circumstances. It is also reasonable to assume that taking
your medicine bundle satisfied some need of the 'stalker's'. However,
that satisfaction would be temporary. I believe, that eventually the
'stalker' will feel the need to act again."

Chakotay got up and paced the room. "Great." He went over to the
replicator. "Spiced apple tea."

Tom smiled to himself. He knew, now, that Chakotay always drank spiced
apple tea when he was feeling bad tempered. He watched the Commander
take the cup from the replicator, and then looked away to the Captain
as she spoke.

"So, you've still made no progress in finding this person?"

"I'm afraid not, Captain." Tuvok replied.

"I've even discreetly checked the gossip mill," Tom offered. "Not a
hint of anything."

"Well, I suggest..." the Captain began, and was interrupted by a vile
choking noise.

Tom sprang to his feet and turned, to be confronted with the sight of
his lover, on his hands and knees on the floor. The cup of tea was
lying on the floor beside him, but from it issued a stream of dark red
fluid, which spread rapidly into a large puddle on the floor. Tom
watched in horror, as the same red fluid dribbled from Chakotay's lips
and down his chin. Then the Commander began to retch, and a stream of
the fluid gushed out of his mouth.

In a split second Tom had reached Chakotay's side and knelt beside him
on the floor. He felt the stickiness under his hand, and lifted it
staring at the red palm. "My god," he gasped. "It's blood."

Chakotay retched beside him again, and Tom hit his combadge. "Medical
emergency. Two for immediate transport to Sickbay."

---

Captain Janeway strode into sickbay and glanced around the room. It
was empty, except for Tom and the Doctor standing beside the biobed,
which contained the prone figure of her First Officer. She made her
way over to the biobed and looked down at Chakotay. He appeared to be
asleep, and there were no signs of blood.

"How badly is he injured?"

"Commander Chakotay has suffered no injury, Captain."

Captain Janeway stared at the Doctor in amazement. "Then what the hell
happened? I saw him ... vomiting blood all over the place."

Tom met her eyes. "It wasn't his own blood, Captain. It was replicated
blood. He swallowed it."

The Doctor continued, "He immediately regurgitated it. There was
nothing for me to do for him except give him something for nausea, and
clean him up. I gave him a sedative as well. He was quite distressed.
However, I would like to know why members of the crew have taken to
drinking blood. I would have thought digesting Mr. Neelix' culinary
delights would have been bad enough."

The Captain glared at the Doctor. "It wasn't taken deliberately,
believe me." She looked down at Chakotay and laid a hand on his
shoulder. "Tuvok is investigating the replicator records, we realized
it must have been something in the tea." She sighed and looked at Tom,
who was staring down at the Commander. "This situation is getting out
of hand."

"Yes," Tom answered. He felt exhausted, the panic he'd felt when he
saw Chakotay choking on the blood had drained him completely, and he
could think of nothing else to say. He felt the Captain's hand on his
arm and looked at her.

"Nothing is going to happen to him, Tom." Her gaze was confident, and
her voice firm.

Tom sighed. "Nothing more, you mean."

They both looked down again, as Chakotay stirred on the biobed.

"He's waking up," the Doctor reported. "I only gave him a very short
term sedative."

Chakotay's eyes blinked open and then focused on Tom and the Captain.
Before they could stop him he sat up. Then as he began to gag again,
the Doctor pressed a hypo-spray to his neck.

"I'm giving you something more for the nausea," he explained.

"Thanks," Chakotay groaned, then he looked at the Captain and
grimaced. "That was quite an experience. From now on, I look in every
cup I drink out of."

"So it was in the cup?" the Captain asked.

"Yeah, I'd sure like to know when the replicator started interpreting
'spiced apple tea' as 'luke-warm blood'." Chakotay gagged slightly.
"If you don't mind, I'd like to think about something else."

At that moment, the sickbay doors whooshed open, and they all turned
to see Tuvok walk in.

"Any progress, Tuvok?" the Captain asked.

"Some, Captain," the Vulcan glanced at Chakotay. "You are well,
Commander?"

"I'll live, Tuvok," Chakotay replied. "What did you find out?"

Tuvok turned to the Captain. "The replicators were programmed to
dispense replicated blood whenever the Commander ordered a beverage."

"Were you able to trace who did the programming?"

"Only to the workstations used. The programming was accomplished in
parts, over a period of a few days, at various workstations throughout
the ship. I've checked the rosters, there was no one assigned to those
stations at those particular times. There was also a time delay, even
though the programming was completed yesterday, it only became
effective about an hour ago."

"Clever little 'stalker'," Tom's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

Tuvok's eyes met his. "It is only logical to assume that we are
dealing with an extremely intelligent individual."

Tom sneered. "Just not an extremely sane one."

"Tom," Chakotay held out a hand. "This isn't really helping."

Tom took the offered hand, and leaned on the biobed beside his lover.
"I'm sorry, it's just so frustrating."

"It's frustrating for all of us, Tom," the Captain patted his arm.
"All we can do is just act like it isn't." She turned again to Tuvok.
"I assume you've removed this programming from the replicators?"

The Vulcan nodded. "Yes, Captain. I will also upgrade the security
access to the replicators."

"You know, I think we'd better look at increasing security across the
ship. I'm sick of tidying up after this 'stalker'. Next time he tries
anything, we catch the bastard, got it?"

The Vulcan's eyebrow rose. "Yes Captain, I get it."

---

He stood at the view port and gazed at the stars. Yesterday his Prey
had been taken to sickbay. He sighed; he would have thought that his
Prey would have been more appreciative of his Gift. Still, when the
Time came, they would share their blood, and then his Prey would
treasure it, just as he did. After that, they would share his Prey's
final breath.

The anticipation was rising in him; he could feel the thrills and
tremors passing through his body. The Time was coming. Everything was
ready. He was ready. There was only one thing left to do, and the Time
had come to do it.

It was Time to clear the path to his Prey.

---
Chapter 7
---

Two days after the blood incident, Tom was in the shuttle bay waiting
for B'Elanna. They were supposed to be checking over one of Voyager's
more decrepit shuttles, but B'Elanna was late, so Tom was sitting in
the cockpit, mulling over the last couple of days.

This latest attack had not affected Chakotay as Tom had worried it
might. He knew the Commander was still feeling slightly squeamish, but
for some reason he was also more positive. Tom suspected it was
because Chakotay thought that the 'stalker' would make a final move
soon, and he preferred that, to all this vague waiting around. He
sighed. It concerned him that his lover indulged in the 'action hero'
attitude to solving problems. He had enough problems controlling that
instinct in himself. He smirked to himself; the Captain must have had
a fit when she realized they were getting together.

He gazed dreamily out of the cockpit view port. 'Getting together'...
they had certainly been doing a lot of that lately, as well. It seemed
that being in danger also increased his lover's sexual appetite,
something to do with releasing tension, Tom guessed, but it had made
Chakotay practically insatiable. Tom's expression grew dreamier. Well,
he reflected, he had to say he really didn't mind an insatiable
Chakotay. In fact...

"Hey! Wake up!"

Tom swivelled in his seat and came face to face with B'Elanna. "When
did you get here?"

She grinned and took the seat opposite. "About a minute ago. What is
it with you two, anyway? Five minutes ago, I'm in the mess hall with
Chakotay, and Neelix comes up and asks me something about Klingon
blood pie. Next thing, Chakotay's up and out of the door, like
someone's set fire to his trousers. And then, I find you sitting here
looking like someone's stolen you're brain." She smirked. "Mind you,
they'd have trouble finding it."

"Oh Ha, Ha. Let's just get on with this, shall we?"

B'Elanna frowned. "Ok." They worked for a moment in silence, and then
B'Elanna spoke again. "Look Tom, I'm sorry. You usually don't mind a
joke."

Tom's expression was apologetic. "No B'Elanna, I'm sorry. I'm just
feeling a bit tense."

She glanced at him, concern showing in her warm brown eyes. "I can see
that. Why? You and Chakotay haven't had a fight, have you?"

Tom groaned. "Why is it that the minute I'm a bit off, everyone thinks
I've had a fight with Chakotay? Are you all just waiting for me to
blow it or something, is that it?"

B'Elanna held up a hand. "Hey! I'm sorry! I was just concerned, that's
all."

Tom turned in his seat, to look at her. "Sorry, B'El. It's just work
stuff, OK." He smiled at her. "Let's change the subject, and maybe we
can go for five minutes without apologizing to each other. How's
things with Harry? Had any major fights yet?"

B'Elanna burst into laughter. "Very funny. No major ones, but lots of
minor ones. You know, it's more fun fighting with Harry, then I ever
imagined it would be." She grinned. "And the making up is even
better."

Tom grinned back. "So, how many fights have you deliberately
provoked?"

Her eyes danced wickedly. "Not that many. And you know," she leaned
forward and her voice dropped to a whisper. "I think Harry's been
deliberately provoking some too."

This time it was Tom who burst into laughter. "God, I hope you two
don't kill each other one day. You know, I was thinking, we should all
get together one night, and have dinner."

B'Elanna nodded. "That's a great idea."

"Well, how about tomorrow night, then? I know Chakotay's free for
dinner that night."

B'Elanna stared at him in amazement. "Maybe someone did steal your
brain." When Tom frowned at her, she continued. "Remember the asteroid
you've been flying around, the last couple of days? Harry and I are
taking an away team down to mine galacite, tomorrow. We'll be gone for
two days. Jeez, we only talked about it for an hour at the senior
staff meeting this morning. Were you asleep?"

Tom shook his head and laughed. "I remember. It was your report, so
maybe I did fall asleep." He grinned as she glared at him. "We'll do
it when you get back, then. Chakotay and I'll just have a nice dinner
alone. You can think about that, while you're eating Starfleet
rations, on that cold, rocky asteroid."

"Oh thanks so much, flyboy."

---

The next night, Tom found himself sitting in Chakotay's quarters,
covertly watching the Commander not eating. Tom had replicated one of
Chakotay's favourite meals, and they were drinking a bottle of real
wine, but Chakotay sat toying with his food and barely saying a word.
He stole another glance at Chakotay and noticed that while his face
was as serene as it usually was, there was a nervous look around his
eyes. Tom felt a lead weight settling on his heart. He didn't like the
look of this at all.

Finally Chakotay gave up on his food, and picked up his plate, taking
it over to the replicator. Then he turned and gazed at something over
the top of Tom's head.

"Tom, I've been thinking, and there's something I'd like to talk to
you about." The words sounded rushed, as if Chakotay had wanted to get
them out before he lost his nerve.

Here we go, the voice in Tom's head was resigned, but the pain he felt
was acute. I've heard this speech before. I just don't know if I can
stand hearing it from Chakotay. He decided he couldn't and stood up
swiftly. "Look, it's fine. I'll just go, shall I?"

"What?" Chakotay stared at Tom, and was aghast to see the paleness of
his face, and the pain in his eyes. He stepped over to the other man
and gripped his arm. "What on Earth are you thinking? I just wanted to
ask you something. I'm sorry, Tom, I'm nervous, I've never asked
anyone this before. I didn't mean to upset you." Relief flooded
through him as he saw the color return to Tom's face. "Look, let's sit
down, and talk without anymore confusion, OK?"

Tom nodded, and they picked up their glasses and walked over to the
couch. Tom sat down next to Chakotay and waited. He still didn't trust
himself to speak.

Chakotay cleared his throat and then turned to Tom, taking his hand in
a firm clasp. "I wanted to ask you if you'd like to move into my
quarters with me?" When Tom stared at him in stunned amazement,
Chakotay continued, "I realize we haven't been together that long,
that maybe it's too soon for you. I'll understand if you feel that
way. I was concerned about it myself, but I don't know, I just want
this. I want to be with you." He took a deep breath. "I love you, Tom
and I'd like to live with you, to make that commitment and..." his
voice trailed off and he looked at Tom's still shocked face. "I'd sort
of appreciate it if you said something, soon."

Tom attempted to gather the remnants of his shattered brain. "Yes," he
finally whispered.

Chakotay leaned forward and peered into Tom's eyes. "Is that a 'Yes
I'll live with you', or a 'Yes, I think it's too soon'?"

Tom took a deep breath. "It's a 'Yes, I'll live with you'."

Chakotay grinned and his dimples flashed. "That's great."

Tom took another deep breath and felt his brain starting to glue
itself together again. "You did just say that you love me?"

"Yeah, I did." Chakotay's lips grazed his ear, and then trailed along
Tom's jaw line.

Tom closed his eyes. "I love you, too."

"I know," Chakotay breathed into his other ear and then nipped his
earlobe.

"You bastard," Tom gasped, and then moaned as Chakotay's lips finally
captured his in a punishing kiss.

They kissed for a long time, exploring each other's mouths, caressing
tongues, and nibbling lips. Then Chakotay became more demanding,
pushing against Tom, his mouth devouring Tom's hungrily. Tom felt his
own passion building in response, and when the kiss finally ended, he
knew exactly what he wanted to do. He slipped to the floor, knelt
between Chakotay's legs and reached for his zipper.

Chakotay smiled down at him through a haze of desire. "Oh yes," he
whispered and Tom could hear the need in his voice.

He felt the bulge of his lover's erection against his fingers, as he
slowly undid the zipper. When he reached in and gripped the hard shaft
inside, Chakotay groaned loudly. Then he was gazing at that lovely
cock, and rolling the balls underneath, in his hand. Tom loved looking
at Chakotay's cock, it was the most beautiful one he thought he'd ever
seen, and thinking about the things Chakotay did to him with it,
always made him thrum with excitement.

"Please, Tom, I need you," Chakotay's whisper was ragged now, and Tom
gazed into those dark eyes and saw the desperation in them. He held
those eyes with his own, as he leaned forward slowly and rubbed his
cheek against Chakotay's stiff erection. Chakotay gasped and then
smiled, "You tease," he again whispered.

Tom shifted his head slightly and ran his lips from the bottom of the
shaft to the head at the top. He felt Chakotay tremble, and grasped
one of the Commander's hips. Even though he could no longer see them,
Tom could feel those burning eyes glued to his face. When he felt
Chakotay's fingers digging into his shoulder, he took pity on him, and
engulfed his lover's delicious cock in one hungry movement.

"Oh God," Chakotay yelped, and his hips jerked in Tom's firm hands. He
flung his head onto the back of the couch, and rolled it from side to
side, alternatively moaning and gasping for breath.

Tom was enjoying himself immensely. He loved the way Chakotay always
lost control when Tom did this to him. It was a side of the Commander
not often seen, and Tom loved the sense of power it gave him when he
saw Chakotay like this. Beyond that, Tom simply loved giving head, and
knew he was good at it.

As Chakotay wriggled and writhed on the couch, Tom thoroughly explored
his lover's throbbing cock. He sucked the balls, one by one, lovingly
caressed the shaft with his tongue, and then swirled his lips around
the head, enjoying the salty tang of Chakotay's pre cum. When he knew
that Chakotay was close, he took his lover deep into his throat, and
sucked him hard. A few moments later, Chakotay exploded into his
mouth. Tom rode out the aftershocks, and then took one last loving
suck on his lover's spent cock.

Tom felt Chakotay's hands pulling at him, so he rose and plastered
himself on the Commander for a deep kiss. When Chakotay released him,
he rolled on his side and snuggled in Chakotay's arms.

"How soon can you move in?" Chakotay asked after a moment of
reflective silence.

"How about I grab some stuff after my shift tomorrow," Tom answered.

"That sounds great. I have a meeting with the Captain, but after that
I can help," Chakotay offered.

"Thanks," and then Tom sighed.

Chakotay looked down at him. "What is it?"

Tom smirked. "I'm guessing we'll be back to being the hot topic of
gossip."

Chakotay laughed and kissed Tom's forehead. "I can live with it."

---

Tom rummaged around in his closet, searching for something to put his
clothes in. He couldn't believe the mess, and he guessed that he'd
have to be a lot tidier living with Chakotay. He still had to pinch
himself, every time he thought about it. He just wasn't used to his
dreams coming true, but this time it looked like he was in luck.

He sat back on his heels and looked up at the shelf above his head. He
vaguely remembered shoving a bag up there at one time, so he went to
the living area and fetched a chair. Climbing onto it, he stretched
out a hand and felt around till his fingers met a handle. He grabbed
it and pulled. He was satisfied to see the bag, but something else
flew out with it and landed on the floor. Tom hopped off the chair and
stared at the object in absolute amazement.

It was Chakotay's medicine bundle.

His hand flew immediately to his combadge but at the last moment
halted. A vision, like a vague memory was rising before his eyes. He
saw his own hands, holding a vicious looking knife, and then his hand
rose and slashed at a couch. He knew it was Chakotay's couch.

Tom gasped and stepped back, falling over the chair and landing on the
floor with a thud. A bitter bile of panic was rising in him, as other
images flashed through his mind. He was staring at a bed, it was
Chakotay's bed, now he was throwing books on the floor, tearing out
the pages and ripping them into shreds.

He gripped his head in his hands in a futile attempt to force the
visions out of his mind. Gasping for breath he crawled over to the
bed, and used it to haul himself to his feet. Tears were running down
his face, but he couldn't feel himself crying. He didn't know what to
do.

Tom sat on the bed and slowly the visions faded. It felt like his
brain was burning, and the fear in him was rising with every moment,
choking him. Was it possible, he was going insane? His mind shrieked
away from that thought.

Still, he didn't know what to do, but he needed help desperately. He
thought of Harry, and then remembered that his friend wasn't on the
ship. He needed someone to sort this out for him, to tell him it
wasn't true.

He rose to his feet and stumbled into the living area. Standing there
for a moment, he ran his hands over his face and tried to calm
himself. Then he strode through the doors and headed for Corella's
quarters.

---

When the door chime rang, Chakotay woke with a start. Finally, he
thought. His meeting with the Captain had ended at the door to his
quarters and when he'd entered them he'd collapsed on the couch to
wait for Tom. He must have fallen asleep, and now Tom was here, though
it was strange that he was chiming, when he had the codes to the door.

Chakotay frowned. "Who is it?"

"It's me." It was the Captain's voice. "May I come in?"

Chakotay got up and keyed open the door, and Captain Janeway strode
into the room. Once the doors had shut, she turned to look at him, and
Chakotay gasped at the sight of her face. It was haggard, and grim,
and there was a tightness, which showed how much effort she was making
to maintain control.

"What's happened?"

"I need you to come to sickbay."

A vice of fear gripped his heart. "Something's happened to Tom," he
stated.

Her expression was enigmatic. "Both Tom and Ensign Azar were taken to
sickbay. Pablo Baytart found them both, unconscious, in Azar's
quarters. Some sort of struggle had taken place. Ensign Azar regained
consciousness first and when she explained what had happened, and the
Doctor had finished examining Tom, I had to transfer Tom to the brig.
Ensign Baytart tried to attack him, so it was as much for Tom's safety
as anyone else's." Her voice sounded slightly apologetic.

Chakotay could feel that the blood had drained from his face, and
there was an annoying buzzing in his ears. He took a deep breath.
"Tell me."

He knew it was going to be bad, when she stepped up to him and took
his hand, then rested her other hand against his cheek.

"I'm sorry, Chakotay. It appears that Tom attacked Ensign Azar," she
paused, "and then sexually assaulted her."

---
Chapter 8
---

Chakotay could not remember how he had gotten to sickbay. He'd just
suddenly found himself sitting in the Doctor's office with the
Captain, staring through the window, at the Doctor hovering over a
biobed.

He turned to the Captain. "Where's Tuvok?

Her eyes shifted. "He's searching Tom's quarters."

Chakotay sank into a chair. "You're telling me that you believe...?"
the words choked in his throat and he couldn't continue.

"I'm not saying anything. It's just a precaution."

"This is a bad dream. I'm actually asleep, aren't I?"

"I'm afraid not."

Chakotay shuddered and then made a visible effort to pull himself
together. "This is ridiculous, it can't be true."

"Ensign Azar is telling the truth. We tested her. And she has...
injuries."

"There must be some mistake."

"Are you accusing her of lying? She's always been an exemplary
officer. You've said so in your own evaluations."

"Still, it's her word against Tom's." Chakotay felt like a drowning
man clutching at straws.

"Tom hasn't denied it."

Chakotay stared with horror into the Captain's eyes. "What?"

"He says he can't remember anything." She frowned and then continued.
"Chakotay, there's something I should tell you. Ensign Azar says that
Tom arrived at her quarters, in great distress about something. She
tried to get it out of him, but all she could understand was that he'd
had some sort of vision... about being in your quarters, destroying
your things." She paused as Chakotay sprang to his feet and began to
pace the room. "She says, that then he suddenly just went crazy and
attacked her."

"NO!" Chakotay burst out.

"Excuse me," the Doctor entered the room.

The Captain wrenched her concerned gaze from Chakotay and faced the
Doctor. "Yes?"

"I've completed my examination of Ensign Azar."

"How is she?"

"Suffering from shock, of course. I've had to sedate her quite
heavily; she'll be out for about ten hours. Her physical injuries are
fairly superficial. I was able to extract some traces of semen from
her reproductive system."

Chakotay winced and sat down again. He felt like he was going to be
sick.

"Well, Doctor?" the Captain's voice was impatient.

"I'm sorry, Captain, Commander. It does belong to Lieutenant Paris."

"Oh God!"

Chakotay was shocked to discover the voice wasn't his own, and stared
at the Captain. Her face was pale, and he noticed the hand that she
reached out to a chair with, was shaking. His own mind was whirling in
a frantic circle.

"Alien influence?" He could only manage to gasp out two words.

The Doctor turned and gazed at him. "I examined Mr Paris for signs of
an alien influence. I found nothing unusual at all. Not even signs of
amnesia."

Chakotay groaned and leaned his head in his hands. He was beginning to
feel like every door he opened was slammed shut in his face. He
thought about what the Captain had told him and then looked up.
"Captain," her eyes met his and he could see the same despair he was
feeling reflected in them. "What exactly did Tom say?"

She frowned. "He didn't say much at all. He seemed sunk in a deep
depression. I told him what Ensign Azar had said, and gave him the
opportunity to give his own version of events. He simply stated that
he couldn't remember. He said the last thing he could remember, was
being in his quarters, packing." She glanced at Chakotay with concern,
but he merely nodded. "Something happened to distress him there, but
he wasn't very clear, though he did say something about a knife and
your quarters, which matched what Ensign Azar had told me. Then, I'm
afraid, Ensign Baytart got out of hand; in the end the Doctor sedated
him. We thought it best to move Tom out of sickbay; the Doctor had
finished his examination of him and, in the circumstances, I had to
move him to the Brig."

Chakotay was finding it increasingly difficult to appear rational
about the whole situation, but he struggled to keep calm. He needed to
think his way through this, and figure out what the hell was going on.
He took a deep breath. "So, you're saying that you suspect Tom is the
person who has been stalking me? That's absurd! He would never hurt
me. He loves me."

It was the Doctor who answered him. "Commander, from what the
Lieutenant said during his examination, I'm afraid that he thinks he
is the person stalking you."

"No," Chakotay shook his head. "Ok, fine, say that's true, if he's
stalking me why would he assault Azar?"

"As I examine Mr Paris further, I hope to find out," the Doctor
replied. "At this point, I can't guess at his motivations."

"I still don't think Tom would have assaulted Azar." Chakotay knew
where his thoughts were taking him; he could recognize the bitter
taste of betrayal. The next words stuck in his throat but he choked
them out. "Maybe it wasn't non-consensual."

"Chakotay," the Captain's voice was gentle. "If that were the case,
why would Ensign Azar lie? And if she did lie, why wouldn't Tom deny
it?" She walked over to his side and rested her hand on his shoulder.
"I'm so sorry. I know it seems like everything's falling apart, that
there is nothing positive in this situation, but at least we know now,
and Tom can get treatment."

"That would be fine, Captain" the Doctor's voice was worried, "if I
knew what to treat him for."

She stared at him. "What? I assumed that there was some sort of
indication of a mental problem, like a multiple personality disorder,
or something similar."

The Doctor continued to look worried. "In the few tests I was able to
perform, I saw no indications of a mental problem. He was confused,
and distressed ...yes, and suffering from shock. Of course, I need to
examine him further. But to tell you the truth, I'm not entirely
convinced that he can't remember what happened."

Chakotay sprang to his feet. "Are you accusing him of lying?"

The Doctor took a step back into the doorway, and collided with Tuvok.
He stepped aside swiftly, and glanced at the Vulcan gratefully. "Ah,
Mr Tuvok, a welcome distraction."

Tuvok's eyebrow arched. "So I gather, Doctor." He glanced around the
room and found every eye riveted to the item he held in his hand.

"That's my medicine bundle," Chakotay stated flatly.

"Yes, Commander," Tuvok replied. "I found it in Lieutenant Paris'
quarters."

Chakotay sat down again. "I see."

Tuvok turned to the Captain, but his eyes frequently ran over the
slumped figure in the chair, as he addressed her. "There was a small
cloaking device attached to it. That is why our sensors were not able
to detect the Akoonah. Quite ingenious. The device had been dislodged,
and I found the medicine bundle on the floor in the Lieutenant's
sleeping area."

Chakotay shifted in the chair, and sighed. "Someone could have put it
there."

Captain Janeway saw the expression in Tuvok's eyes as they rested on
the Commander, to many others the look would have seemed
indecipherable, but she could see the concern in his gaze.

"I ran a DNA scan over the item. Besides your DNA, Commander, the only
other traces were from Lieutenant Paris."

Chakotay did not reply. He was beginning to feel overwhelmed. His mind
was reeling again, his stomach was churning and worst of all, a lead
weight was settling on his heart, a feeling he recognized with
despair. He'd last felt it when Seska had left the ship.

He stood up. "I'm going to see Tom."

The Captain held out a hand. "Chakotay, I don't know if that's a ..."
the rest of her words were to the closing sickbay doors, "... good
idea."

Her eyes met Tuvok's.

"It might be for the best, Captain."

---

Chakotay paced the hallway outside the Brig doors. He'd been there for
fifteen minutes already, and he still had not managed to get inside.
In the time it had taken to get there from sickbay, he had run through
a gamut of exhausting emotions. Frantic denial, heartbreak, despair,
worry, self-pity, bitterness. Just name it, he thought, he'd felt it.
Then he reached anger.

It was the anger that was keeping him in the hallway. He was angry
with Tom, even angry with Ensign Azar, but he was furious at himself.
He'd sworn to himself, after the last time, that he would avoid going
through anything like this ever again. And now, here he was. He knew
deep down that his reaction was selfish; he couldn't feel like this
and face Tom.

Strangely, the thought of Tom calmed him down. There were so many
factors to this situation about Tom, which he needed to get straight
in his head. Tom had been stalking him, Tom had trashed his quarters,
Tom had stolen his medicine bundle, Tom had programmed the replicators
to dispense blood, and Tom had raped Ensign Azar. Then there were the
alternatives. Tom had been his friend and his lover, Tom had feared
for him, Tom had protected him, and Tom had made love to Ensign Azar.
He sighed, and rested his head against the wall. Whichever way he
looked at it, he ended up feeling betrayed.

He needed to hear what Tom had to say. He straightened up, took a deep
breath and walked through the doors.

---

Tom was lying on the bench in his cell, staring at the ceiling. He was
deliberately forcing his mind to stay blank, it was a technique he'd
learnt during the whole Caldik Prime thing, and then later perfected
in prison. It was proving difficult; he hadn't had to do this in a
long time.

He felt, rather than heard, someone standing at the force field, and
rolled his head to look. It was Chakotay.

Immediately, the nightmares that he'd been holding at bay at the edges
of his mind came crashing in. He floundered in a vast sea of visions,
and feelings. All of them were horrifying. He grimaced and sat up. He
could not look at this man he loved, this man that he was terrified he
also wanted to kill.

For a long time, there was complete silence, and then finally Chakotay
spoke.

"Tom," Tom winced at the harsh note of despair he heard in the voice.
"Tell me... just tell me, please, what happened?" The voice had died
to a whisper, and Tom stood and stepped closer.

He opened his mouth, and closed it again. He couldn't. "They've told
you."

Then he heard it. A low sob. From Chakotay. The feeling in his heart
now was like nothing he had ever experienced before, not at Caldik
Prime, not in prison. It rose in his throat to choke him, and he
swallowed frantically against it.

Then he finally looked at Chakotay, and immediately wished he hadn't.
The sight of his lover's face was worse than any vision he'd had so
far. Chakotay was crying.

Tom stepped forward swiftly, and then remembered the force field. The
expression in Chakotay's eyes was killing him. He could see
everything, despair, loss, and something else that made his blood run
cold. Fear.

Chakotay spoke again. "Tuvok found my medicine bundle in your
quarters."

"I know," Tom whispered.

Suddenly he saw anger flare in Chakotay's eyes. "For God's sake, Tom,
talk to me properly. Tell me that none of this is true."

"I can't, Chakotay," Tom wailed. He could feel the panic rising inside
of him again. "I don't know what's true anymore. I only know one
thing, and that is that I love you."

There was another long silence as Tom continued to gaze into the eyes
that held him to the spot. He felt like he was going to drown in their
depths, fall right down into the confusion and pain he could see in
them. Then Chakotay looked away, and Tom felt the loss of connection,
like a sharp stab in his heart.

"Tell me about Azar." The words were rapped out, like an order on the
bridge, and as such he immediately responded.

"I don't remember..."

Chakotay caught the hesitation and jumped on it quickly. "Tell me what
you do remember."

Tom found himself struggling, both for breath and the words. "I went
there, to her quarters," he was gasping the words out. "I remember...
a struggle. I remember that I..."

Chakotay stepped closer to the force field, but his eyes still did not
meet Tom's. "What is it you remember?" he hissed, "That you came?
Inside her? Is that it?"

Tom closed his eyes. The bitterness in Chakotay's voice told him all
he needed to know. It was over. There was no hope. He didn't know
whether he deserved hope, but he knew he'd wanted it desperately.

"Yes," he whispered, and he could hear the plea for forgiveness in his
own voice. "That's what I remember."

When he opened his eyes, he was alone.

---
Chapter 9
---

Neelix could not remember the mess hall ever being this quiet. It was
certainly full of the usual number of crewmembers, eating the
breakfast he'd lovingly prepared for them, but they were all strangely
silent. What conversation did take place was in whispers.

Neelix watched them with concern. He had attended a senior staff
meeting very early that morning, though few senior staff had actually
been there. B'Elanna and Harry were still on an away mission, but Tom
had been absent, and so had Chakotay. Once the Captain had explained
to him and Seven what had occurred, he'd understood why. He had sat
stunned, in horrified disbelief, as the Captain added that while she
understood there would be speculation amongst the crew, she did not
want the full facts of the case to be known.

After Tuvok had informed them that Tom was now out of the brig and
confined to his own quarters, Neelix had asked to see him. His request
was denied; apparently Tom had refused to see anyone, unless it was
the Captain or Tuvok. Neelix' heart sank when he heard this news; he
felt it would seem an admission of guilt. He knew that he might never
know the entirety of what had happened, but one thing he knew was that
he would never believe that Tom was guilty. He'd asked the Captain to
tell Tom this and she'd smiled at him.

When the Doctor proceeded to report on the condition of Ensign Azar,
Neelix had felt completely confused. He'd always liked Ensign Azar; he
could not believe that she would lie about something so serious, and
he knew that Vendarans were as rigid about telling the truth as
Vulcans. For the first time, he saw the implications of the situation
that the Captain, by the look in her eyes, was already well aware of.
This had the potential to tear the ship apart, in a way no other
threat to Voyager had ever achieved, not even the Borg.

Now Neelix stood in his galley kitchen, watching the beginnings of
that process. Already rumours were flooding the ship, and he could see
that the whispered conversations were developing into arguments. He
glanced toward the table right next to the galley. Seated at it were
the Delaney twins, Vorik and Sue Nicoletti, as well as Joe Carey and
Ken Dalby. Neelix strained his ears and began to catch their
conversation.

"It's not true." This was Megan Delaney.

"Megan, she's in sickbay, and I know for a fact that Tom was in the
brig last night." Ken Dalby's voice was a harsh whisper.

"Oh yeah, how did you find that out?"

"I'm not telling you that. I just know he was there, and Chakotay went
to see him. They did not part on the best of terms."

"That doesn't mean he attacked her. After all, Pablo's confined to his
quarters as well." This was Jenny Delaney.

Joe Carey spoke up. "Look, the worst I'll believe of Tom is that he
and Corella cheated on Pablo and Chakotay."

Megan's whisper was frantic. "Tom would not cheat on Chakotay. He's
dreamed of being with him for years. He wouldn't risk that for
anything."

"Well, obviously he has," Sue, hissed. "And it must have been serious.
Why else would he be in the brig?"

The calm voice of Vorik interrupted. "Until we know the facts of the
case, I do not see the purpose of this conversation. This speculation
is an illogical use of our time."

"I totally agree."

Everyone started and looked up into the face of a furious Talaxian.
"Do you think this discussion is of use to anyone?" Neelix continued.
He stared pointedly at their empty trays. "If you've finished eating,
I suggest you make a move for your duty stations."

No one had the nerve to argue that Neelix was hardly of a rank to tell
them when to leave the mess hall. En masse, they picked up their trays
and left.

When Neelix returned to his galley, he found the Captain and Tuvok
standing at the food bar. He served them some food and when the
Captain nodded to him, he followed them to a table. The rest of the
room had fallen completely silent again, and the Captain glanced
around quickly before she looked at Neelix.

"What was all that about?" she nodded at the recently vacated table.

Neelix sighed. "Gossip. There are all sorts of rumours flying around.
Some of the speculation is frighteningly accurate."

The Captain frowned. "I made a mistake last night, sending Tom to the
brig." She frowned and stared in abstraction at her tray.

Neelix was shocked. He couldn't remember that he'd ever heard her
admit so openly to a mistake. Then he saw her tense and followed her
gaze to the door. Chakotay had entered the room.

The Commander ordered some coffee at the replicator and then sat down
at an empty table, completely ignoring the many eyes upon him. He
looked like hell. It was obvious he hadn't slept, and his whole body
exuded a tension that spoke volumes about the control over himself
that he was maintaining. He sat, staring at the mug on the table, and
Neelix could tell that he had forgotten it was there.

A sigh came from the other side of the table, and he heard the Captain
say softly, "I'm going to have to talk to him about this."

"Yes, Captain." Tuvok's voice was uncommonly gentle.

Her stricken eyes met the Vulcan's across the table, and her next
words were the most frightening Neelix had ever heard her utter.
"Tuvok, I don't know what to do."

Before the Vulcan could answer, her combadge chirped. "Bridge to the
Captain."

"Captain Janeway, here."

"Captain, Lieutenant Torres has just reported in from the asteroid.
The away team are ahead of schedule with the galacite mining. They
will be ready to transport back to the ship in three hours."

It was a moment before the Captain replied. "Very well, Janeway out."

Once again her eyes met Tuvok's. "Great."

---

Captain Janeway did something she'd never done before. She waited in
the mess hall until everyone else had left. She knew Chakotay would
still be there as well, he hadn't remembered to drink his coffee, he
would definitely need to be reminded of the start of the duty shift.

She watched him for a moment, and then got up and drifted over to his
table. Before she had even sat down, he spoke.

"I don't want to talk."

She sat down anyway. "I know." She reached a hand across the table.
"You're hurt, angry."

His laugh was bitter, and she winced at the sound of it. "Believe me,
I'm well aware of how I'm feeling, Kathryn. I don't need you to tell
me."

"I'm sorry." She paused for a moment. "Chakotay, I want you to take
this shift off."

He sighed. "I know. I'm not really fit for duty, am I?"

She shook her head. "No." She took a deep breath; she was treading on
dangerous ground now. "You went to see Tom?"

The glare in his eyes withered her. "He didn't tell me anything that
you don't already know."

She accepted this, though she suspected by his demeanour, that it
wasn't quite the truth. She knew she couldn't take much more of this,
and wasn't looking forward to how he was going to react to what she
was going to say next. "This morning, the Doctor asked me to give you
a message. Ensign Azar is awake. She's asked to see you."

Chakotay froze, and the tension in his body increased dramatically. "I
don't think so."

"There's obviously something she wants to tell you. Maybe you should
consider it."

"I said, no!" He got up. "I'm going back to my quarters."

The Captain stood as well. "Ok."

Chakotay walked over to the doors, and then turned to look at her
again. The expression on his face was carefully blank. "Is he still in
the brig?"

She shook her head. "No, he's confined to his quarters."

He left without another word.

"Well, that went well." Captain Janeway remarked to the empty room.

---

When Chakotay got back to his quarters, he sank into his couch. He
felt stiff all over, and he knew it would be a long time before he
would ever be relaxed again. Some time during the endless night he had
died, he knew it. And he'd gone to Hell.

The scene in the brig replayed itself endlessly in his mind, and, with
each viewing his pain did not diminish. If anything, it got worse.
He'd had it with this godforsaken ship. Next habitable planet, he was
getting off. He would get as far away from all of these people, from
Tom, as he could possibly get.

He turned his head and gazed at the star streaks outside the view
port. Suddenly, he wondered who was flying the ship. Half the flight
team was confined to quarters, or in sickbay. He frowned. Sickbay.
Corella Azar.

Why the hell would she want to see him? What could she possibly say to
him? Either, that his lover was a complete bastard or a great fuck,
and he didn't want to hear either statement. At this moment, he
irrationally wanted to kill her. The fact that it was entirely
possible, and given Tom's lack of denial, completely probable that she
was an even bigger victim in this than he was, didn't seem to help.

He knew he was studiously ignoring the other factor in all this. It
was also possible that Tom had been stalking him, trying to harm him.
Even after they'd gotten together. The emotions this thought brought
up in him were so overwhelming that he quickly suppressed all thought,
and stared again out of the view port.

Ensign Azar. Again she drifted through his mind. In fact, it was
becoming difficult to keep her out. He hated it, but he needed to hear
what she had to say. He sighed and rose to his feet. He had no choice,
he was going to have to go to sickbay and hear her out.

---

When Chakotay got to sickbay the Doctor met him at the door. "Ah
Commander, you're here to see Ensign Azar?" Chakotay nodded. "She's
still here." The Doctor continued. "I'm releasing her this afternoon."
He peered closely at Chakotay and his expression was deeply concerned.
"Are you feeling all right?"

"No," Chakotay answered. "But there's nothing you can do about it.
Where is she?"

"Commander, she's still very upset. I know she wants to see you, but
bear in mind that..."

"I won't upset her further. I'm here to listen. That's it."

"Ok then. Follow me." The Doctor led him over to the biobed and then
disappeared into his office.

Chakotay stared down at the slight figure in the bed. Her face was
strained and pale, and her eyes puffy and red. She looked like she'd
been crying for a month. She also looked scared, and he felt his heart
melting at her vulnerability. He sighed.

"What did you want to tell me?" He was surprised that his voice was
actually gentle.

It was a moment before she spoke, and when she did, he could hear and
see the effort she was making. "Commander, I know you don't want the
hear about... what happened, ... and I don't want to tell you." She
paused and took in a shuddering breath. "I don't know why...he did...
what he did." Chakotay frowned, as tears began to stream down her
face. This had been a mistake. "There's something important, though,
that you need to know. You know that I'm slightly telepathic. I felt
his mind. It was confused, troubled, but there is one thing I'm sure
of. He loves you."

Chakotay gasped and then snorted bitterly. "How can you say that to
me?"

"It's the truth." Her gaze was now implacable.

He frowned down at her. "And why on Earth would you care?"

"He's my friend."

"Even though he attacked you? That's very generous of you." She
flinched at the sarcasm in his tone, and he immediately felt guilty.
He reached across and took her hand. "I'm sorry, but I can't believe
you're telling me this, after what has happened."

Her pale eyes stared unwaveringly into his. "I'm telling you, because
it's the truth. I'm a Vendaran. I have an obligation to the truth."

He sighed. "I see. And he's your friend."

"I can accept that he is ill. Why can't you?"

Chakotay dropped her hand and stepped back from the bed. "This
conversation is over, Ensign. Thank you for the information you've
given me."

Corella Azar gasped, and gazed after Chakotay's retreating figure in
consternation and concern.

"Is everything all right?" She realized that the Doctor had come from
his office and was standing beside her.

She frowned at him. "I don't think so."

---
Chapter 10
---

One of the many moments Captain Janeway was dreading had finally
arrived. Harry and B'Elanna were back on board Voyager and were on
their way to her Ready room. She glanced over at Tuvok, thankful for
his support, and sighed.

"I suppose it's too much to hope that they won't have heard any of the
rumours on their way from the transporter room?"

Tuvok raised an eyebrow in reply, knowing that she didn't really
expect an answer. Then the door chimed.

"Come."

The moment Captain Janeway saw the faces of the two people who entered
the room she knew her hopes had definitely been in vain. They strode
up to her desk and glared down at her.

She was surprised that it was Harry who spoke first. "Captain, what
the hell is going on? What's this about Tom being..."

The Captain rose to her feet and interrupted. "Ensign Kim, you are
here to report on the away team mission. I expect to hear that report,
now." She waved at the chairs near her desk. "Sit down. Both of you."
Harry blinked, and B'Elanna frowned, but they both sat down.
"Lieutenant Torres, make your report."

B'Elanna stared at her for a moment and then she spoke. "Very well,
Captain. The mining went very well. We were able to extract all the
galacite that we can store. I have had it transferred to storage bay
three as previously discussed and I expect to start the refining
process tomorrow."

"Thank you, Lieutenant. Your away team has done an excellent job." She
sat down again, and took a deep breath. "Now, I have to inform you of
what has taken place during your absence."

As she explained the situation to them, Captain Janeway kept a
watchful eye on their reactions. The expressions that passed across
their faces reflected the conflict that her words created in them. She
knew that both of them were close to Corella Azar, as well as to Tom.

The Captain watched Harry closely. While she was afraid that
B'Elanna's temper would flare and cause her to act irrationally, she
felt she understood the half-Klingon well enough to remain a step
ahead of her, and contain her potential for disaster relatively
easily.

But Harry was different. Her naïve young Ensign was, in some ways,
still a mystery, at times surprising the hell out of her. She relied
on him, trusted him implicitly, but she knew his ingeniousness was one
of his greatest weapons. She suspected he could be an expert in
manipulation, if he really wanted to, and was concerned that he would
use this to incite the crew. Tom was more important to him, then most
people would ever realize. Somehow, the pilot was a symbol to Harry,
perhaps of the infinite possibilities in the universe, for redemption.

As she finished her report, she waited for their reaction. B'Elanna's,
of course, was immediate. She flew out of her chair, and stormed
around the room.

"This is the BIGGEST load of CRAP, I've ever heard in my ENTIRE life.
Have you all gone MAD? Where's Chakotay, what's he doing about this
stupidity? Tom would NEVER... he wouldn't hurt Corella, and he would
NEVER hurt Chakotay!" She ended her tirade standing at the Captain's
desk, looming over her, fists clenched.

Captain Janeway stared up at her levelly, trying to maintain her own
calm authority. "Then how do you explain Ensign Azar's story? The
physical evidence? How, B'Elanna, do you explain the fact that Tom has
practically admitted it?"

B'Elanna's face contracted in fury, and her whole body shook in
frustration. Then her hand flew out, grabbed the Captain's favourite
coffee cup and hurled it at the wall behind the Captain.
Unfortunately, the cup had been full of coffee, which splashed down
all over the Captain as the cup arced gracefully above her head, then
into the wall, smashing into pieces.

The Captain sprang to her feet in fury, and Tuvok rose also, striding
to stand at B'Elanna's side. "B'Elanna," Captain Janeway's voice was
low and tight with controlled rage. "Sit down and do not speak again,
unless you want to visit the brig. We are all frustrated about this
situation, but remember you are a senior officer. For the good of the
crew, you will remain calm, you will not discuss this situation with
anyone, until I inform you that you can. Is that clear?"

B'Elanna glared back at her, and then Tuvok. Finally she sat down
again, stiffly. "Yes, Captain," she replied, and her voice was
strained. "I... apologize, for my outburst."

Now Captain Janeway looked at Harry. She was surprised that he had
remained silent for so long, and even further taken aback at his calm
demeanour. Finally, his eyes rose from their contemplation of her
desk, and he spoke.

"This is not the truth." His voice was calm and sure. Against the
certainty in his gaze, the Captain found she had nothing to say.
"There has to be an explanation. Find it."

The Captain sighed. This was quite a day, and to top everything off,
one of her junior officers was now giving her orders. "Harry, we will
find an explanation. But you have to realize, that the explanation we
find, might not be the one you want to hear. Tom is probably very
ill."

Harry shook his head. "No." Then his eyes searched the room. "Where's
the Commander?"

Captain Janeway glanced at Tuvok, and then looked back at Harry.
"Commander Chakotay is off-duty today. He isn't feeling well."

She could see some sort of pain, creeping into Harry's eyes. "He
believes this, doesn't he?"

"I don't exactly know what he thinks, Harry. I know he went to see Tom
last night, but I'm not comfortable discussing this with you."

"I see." She could hear the rising anger in his voice. He stood up.
"I'm going to see Tom."

The Captain stood up and held up a hand. "Harry, I'm not sure he'll
see you."

Harry had turned away, but at her words he looked back over her
shoulder, and now his eyes were completely unshuttered. She gasped at
the mixture of tortured pain and fury she saw there.

"I have to try. I won't let Tom do this to himself. I won't let him
convince himself, and everyone else, that he's guilty."

"Harry..." B'Elanna rose to her feet, and tried to grab his arm, but
he was already at the door, and then gone.

The three remaining stared at each other. "Harry won't give up on
this, Captain," B'Elanna warned. She frowned. "Neither will I.
Permission to leave?"

Captain Janeway was beginning to feel as if Voyager were slipping
through her fingers. "Remember what I said, B'Elanna. You are an
officer on this ship. This situation will be handled officially,
according to Starfleet protocol."

"Of course," B'Elanna snapped, and left the room.

Captain Janeway glanced at Tuvok. "God, I hope I don't end up having
to confine half this crew to quarters."

"I don't know if that would be possible, Captain," Tuvok replied
calmly. "It would certainly be necessary to detail more security
staff, if you were to take that course of action."

The Captain stared at him in amazement. "Thank you, Tuvok, I'll bear
that in mind," she responded, dryly.

"Of course, Captain. However, I agree that the reaction of the crew is
becoming an important concern. Judging by Ensign Kim's behaviour, the
situation has the potential to become extremely volatile. The sooner
the investigation is concluded, the better."

"Concluded? You mean you're not satisfied?"

Tuvok looked surprised. "I was not aware that you were satisfied with
the explanation we have for what has happened, Captain."

"Of course I'm not, Tuvok," she snapped. "What do you propose to do
next?"

"There are a few factors which I intend to investigate further. I
would prefer to make a full report, when I have completed the
investigation."

"And when will that be?"

"I am not certain, Captain. Soon. Permission to leave?" She nodded.

After he'd gone, she knelt on the floor and picked up the remains of
her cup. Damn Vulcans! She realized that she should have pushed him
further, but she had to admit, the scene with B'Elanna and Harry had
left her frazzled. She found herself hoping fervently, that Tuvok
would find some way to get them out of this mess.

---

After his visit to sickbay, Chakotay had stormed back to his quarters,
in furious haste. On reflection afterwards, he was thankful he had met
no other crewmembers on the way. He suspected there were enough
rumours circulating the ship as it was. His mind shuddered at the
thought of what would happen when the events of last night became
common knowledge, as eventually they would have to.

He lay on his bed, tossing and turning. His body screamed for sleep
but his mind refused to succumb. His heart had long ago dissolved into
an aching, gaping hole in his chest. He was battling to understand why
Ensign Azar's question had so terrified him. He knew he was in denial
over something, that this denial was killing him, but he was doing
such a successful job at it, that he couldn't figure out what he was
denying. He shook his head. Perhaps he was going mad, as well, he
thought bitterly.

That might explain why he still felt the need to protect Tom, when Tom
had betrayed him. He knew the Captain suspected that he hadn't told
her the truth about what Tom had remembered in the brig. He still
couldn't understand why he'd lied to her.

At that moment his door chimed, and he sat up on the bed and stared in
the direction of the doors doubtfully. He was pretty certain that he
didn't really want to see anyone, but it might be the Captain with
some news, and he needed a distraction. He got up and padded into the
main room.

"Come."

The doors slid open and Harry strode in. Damn, Chakotay thought.
"Look, Harry..." he began, but he got no further.

"Hello Commander, I just thought I'd pop in and ask you why you're
skulking around in your quarters, when you should be with Tom."
Chakotay had never heard such a level of sarcasm in Harry's voice, and
he peered closely at the younger man, noting the wild look about his
eyes. Well, too bad, he didn't have the patience to deal with someone
else's feelings at the moment.

"After everything that's happened, I don't need to hear this sort of
shit from you, Ensign. Get out."

Harry stepped closer. "Well, I'm sorry about that but I'm not going
anywhere. Tom needs you."

"You know that for a fact, do you? Been to see him, have you? And you
got sucked into his whole 'vulnerable, trying to be brave but look
after me' act, did you?"

Harry's face contorted. "Fuck you, Commander," he hissed and Chakotay
was shocked at the venom in his voice. "He wouldn't see me. He won't
see anyone. Don't you see what's happening? He's going to give up, and
you're going to let him, you bastard."

"For God's sake, Harry. Haven't they explained it to you? Tom's been
stalking me, attacking me. He's raped one of your friends."

"IT'S NOT TRUE!" Harry screamed.

"HE ADMITTED IT TO ME!" Chakotay screamed back. He took a deep breath,
and willed himself to regain control. "Harry, a lack of denial isn't a
confession. But Tom told me he remembered..." he shook his head unable
to continue, and gasped in another deep breath. "He admitted to me
that he could remember what happened. Harry, the reason he won't see
anyone is because he knows he is guilty and he doesn't want to face
them. He doesn't want to face you."

"There's an explanation." Harry's voice was surprisingly calm.
"There's an explanation for everything that's happened."

"Yes," Chakotay answered. "And the best explanation is that Tom is
mentally ill." He'd finally accepted that this had to be the truth.
"But that doesn't change that he's guilty, and we're all going to have
to deal with that."

Harry stared at him, and his usually warm eyes were cold. "I thought
you loved, Tom. Yet, it's so easy for you to desert him when he needs
you. Is that how you're going to deal with it?"

Chakotay could feel his anger rising again. "Don't presume to know
what I'm feeling, Harry."

Harry turned and walked back to the door. He paused, and then turned
back to face the Commander again and his eyes burned into Chakotay's.

"You're right, I don't know what you're feeling. What I do know is
that you have to stand by Tom."

---

After Harry had left, Chakotay stood staring at the door for a long
time. Eventually he realized that the harsh sounds he could hear were
his own sobs, and there were tears pouring down his face. He sank to
his knees on the floor, and let himself go. He hadn't cried with such
abandon since he was a child, and the relief of the release was
wonderful.

When it was over, he lay on his back on the floor and gazed at the
ceiling. His mind seemed to be clearer, it almost seemed as if his
tears had somehow swept through his mind and cleansed it of all the
confusion and debris. Something strong was rising inside him, and he
knew soon he would be ready to face it. He drifted through the events
of the day, and replayed in his mind the few conversations he'd had.
All of them seemed significant in some way.

He remembered what Corella Azar had told him, and then Harry's final
words rang in his ears again. He rose to his feet and paced the floor,
his stomach churning. He'd been in a state of denial all day, and now
he knew what it was that he had been denying the most, the feeling he
had been trying to bury in the deepest black hole he could find inside
himself. He still loved Tom.

He needed to see Tom. He turned to the door, and then halted as he
remembered what Harry had said about Tom refusing to see any one.
Chakotay grimaced as he realized that he was going to have to ask the
Captain for permission to visit Tom. Well, he'd do whatever it would
take. He raised his hand and hit his combadge.

---
Chapter 11
---

Tom Paris sat on the couch in his quarters, and stared at the wall.
He'd been staring at the wall ever since Harry had tried to get in to
see him. He wondered what was going to happen to him. The Doctor had
been to see him earlier, and informed him that tomorrow he would be
transferred to sickbay for the day, to undergo some tests. After that,
he had no idea, and he had a feeling that the person who would decide
his fate, the Captain, had no idea what to do either. Perhaps, if he
spent the rest of his days, being transported between sickbay and his
quarters, he would never have to face another crewmember again.

He hadn't seen or heard from the Captain all day and he had a feeling
that he wouldn't until he'd gone through the tests tomorrow. This
avoidance was unlike her, and his heart shattered anew at the thought
of what that meant, at the thought of what she must think of him now,
the disappointment she must be feeling.

Tom was trying desperately not to think of two people. One was
Corella. The images that flashed through his mind, when he thought of
her, were painful and disturbing. They terrified him. Tom had always
thought he knew all of his failings, intimately, but these images
evoked a self-loathing so intense, that everything he had known about
himself before, faded away into insignificance. In the past, he had
disliked himself. Now he was beginning to think he must be some sort
of monster.

A tear slipped down his face and dripped off his chin. He was
surprised, he thought he had run out of tears hours ago. It was
becoming increasingly difficult to avoid thinking of the second
person. This was, of course, Chakotay. His former lover. His only
love. His Prey.

"Janeway to Paris."

Tom looked down at his combadge in startled bewilderment. He'd been
put on a restricted com-line last night, and he thought he'd taken off
his combadge when he was transported back to his quarters. He cleared
his throat and then hit the badge.

"Paris, here."

"Tom," her voice was brisk, and Tom had a feeling she wanted to get
off the com-line as quickly as possible. "I have a request from
Commander Chakotay. He has asked to see you."

A bolt of pure fear shot through Tom like lightening. He thought for a
moment, as his heart thudded painfully hard in his chest. "Umm... is
it an official, or a personal request?"

There was a slight pause. "Personal."

"Then the answer is No."

He thought he heard her sigh through the com-line. "Very well. I'll
inform him. There is one more thing, Lieutenant Tuvok is on his way to
see you."

"Yes, OK, thank you, Captain."

"Janeway, out."

Tom looked down at his hands and discovered that they were trembling.
Chakotay wanted to see him. The vision of Chakotay's face as it had
looked, the last time he'd seen it flashed through his mind, causing
another painful bolt of emotion. He couldn't face that again. He
couldn't face another bitter accusation, or seeing the pain he'd
caused distorting the face of the man he loved. There was no point,
when everything was over, anyway.

The door chimed, and Tom looked up as the door opened and Tuvok walked
in.

"The Captain informed you I was coming?" The Vulcan asked.

"Yes. Have a seat."

"Very well," Tom was surprised when Tuvok actually did sit down on the
couch next to him. They both shifted slightly to face each other, and
Tom waited for whatever was going to happen next.

"How are you feeling, Lieutenant?" Tuvok asked.

Tom was even more surprised. Tuvok making small talk? "Er... I've been
better." Tom grimaced at his own answer, but he couldn't think what
else to say.

Tuvok was peering at him like he was some sort of insect. "Yes, I
imagine that would be so. Mr Paris, I have a suggestion to make, or
you could view it as a request."

"You want to mindmeld with me," Tom stated. He realized by the
expression on Tuvok's face, that he had actually succeeded in
surprising the Vulcan.

"You are correct, Mr Paris. I believe it would give us a more accurate
indication of what is happening in your mind than the Doctor's tests
will. Are you agreeable?"

"It wouldn't be dangerous?"

"I believe there would be no risk to you, Lieutenant."

Tom laughed bitterly. "I was thinking of you actually, Tuvok."

Tuvok's eyebrow rose and his voice was even dryer than usual. "I am
prepared to take the risk. Are you agreeable?"

"Sure," Tom replied. "I'm as curious as you are." He eyed Tuvok's
frown. "No use, Tuvok, I know you're curious."

"You seem to have become remarkably astute recently, Mr Paris. Shall
we begin?"

Tom nodded and closed his eyes as he felt Tuvok's fingers splay across
his face. Then he heard the Vulcan's calm voice.

"My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts."

Tom felt himself relaxing in a way he had never relaxed before. His
body seemed to melt away. The last time he had experienced a mindmeld
with Tuvok, he had been in such a weakened condition from the effects
of the Banean implant, that he had never been fully aware of what was
happening.

This time it was different, though. A confusing jumble of images raced
through his mind and he could actually feel Tuvok, sifting through
them patiently, until they eventually arrived at a place so deep
inside Tom's mind that he had not even been aware it was there. Behind
his eyelids, he could actually see it. It was just space... neither
light nor dark, but somehow he could see a figure standing there. It
was a moment before he realized it was Tuvok.

Tuvok's voice sounded in his mind and the figure's arm lifted and
pointed. "What is that?"

Tom's mind shifted until he could see what Tuvok was pointing at. A
dense grey fog was billowing in the space. "I don't know," Tom
answered.

Tuvok began to walk toward the fog, and Tom felt panic rising inside
him. "Keep calm," Tuvok's voice echoed in his head.

"I don't think you should ..."

He felt the force of Tuvok's mind covering his own, and felt
overwhelmed by its implacable weight. "Let go of your fear. Fear is an
emotion, nothing more. Let go of your emotion."

When Tuvok stepped into the fog, Tom's mind went blank.

---

After the Captain informed him that Tom had refused to see him,
Chakotay sat on the edge of his bed and tried to formulate a plan. He
wasn't sure what he wanted from Tom; he just knew he needed to see
him. He could not go forward from this hell he was in until he did.

Tom would not see him because it was a personal request. Well,
Chakotay would just have to think of a good reason to make it
official. His eyes drooped and he sagged onto the bed. God he was
exhausted. This had to be the longest day of his life, and he'd
accomplished nothing. Tomorrow would be different. Tomorrow he would
force Tom to see him, and they would find some way to sort this whole
mess out.

His eyes drifted shut and finally he fell into a deep sleep.

---

"Lieutenant Paris."

Tom slowly opened his eyes to meet the dark gaze of Tuvok. "Is it
over?"

"Yes."

Tom eyed Tuvok carefully. He couldn't be sure, but he had a feeling
that the Vulcan was actually... pale. "What did you find? I know you
found something."

Tuvok frowned, and when Tom saw the puzzled look in the Vulcan's eyes,
he felt the panic rising in him again.

"I am not certain." The words were said slowly as if Tuvok were trying
to work something out as he spoke. Suddenly the Vulcan rose to his
feet. "I must go. I will meditate on this."

"Wait..." Tom called, but Tuvok was already gone. Great, he thought.
Damn Vulcans. It's my head after all. I have a right to know what's in
it.


---

In the end it was easier to get to his Prey then he had thought
possible. He had expected more resistance from them. He felt the
satisfaction of his own superiority wash over him as he walked through
the empty halls of the ship. It was late.

The joy he had felt when he had gazed at the Knife and realized the
Time had come still echoed through his soul. The Knife was in his hand
now; it's exciting weight causing the pleasure in him it always did
when he held it. Now the Knife would fulfil its final purpose.

He reached the doors of his Prey's quarters and keyed in the code. He
entered the room softly, warily, ready to face his Prey. He glanced
around the empty room, and then crept quietly to the bedroom. His
heart swelled with love at the sight that met his eyes. His Prey was
sprawled face up on the bed, waiting for him.

He backed away from the door and went to the replicator. Then, with
the sleek silken cords in his hand he tiptoed into the bedroom. He did
not want to disturb the sleep of his Prey. Slowly, gently, he wound
each cord around a limb of his Prey and then ran the cords down to the
legs of the bed. When he began to pull the cords tight, his Prey
stirred.

He waited a moment and his Prey settled. Then he tied the cords in
place and stepped back into the shadows, to wait.

---

Chakotay stirred and felt consciousness slipping into his mind. He
groaned against it and tried to force himself to go back to sleep. It
became impossible; the way he was laying was extremely uncomfortable.
He attempted to roll into a better position and felt complete
confusion when he found he couldn't move.

His eyes flew open. Something was digging into his wrists and ankles.
His heart began to thud erratically and his mouth went dry. He was
tied to his bed.

His gaze flew about the room, frantically searching the shadows. What
was that? Was that a figure by the door?

He swallowed heavily and struggled to find his voice and make it sound
strong. "Who's there?"

The figure moved slightly and raised its arm. The starlight from the
view port gleamed on the blade of a cruel, vicious looking knife.
Chakotay's heart now seemed to be banging somewhere inside his head
and he knew he had to find some way to breathe evenly or he would
black out. He suspected he was going to need all his wits about him,
if he was going to survive this.

"Show yourself," his voice was a harsh, rasping whisper. It was the
best he could do.

The figure stepped forward, and the starlight fell on his face.
Chakotay gasped and his eyes widened when he saw whom it was. Then
despair gripped his heart.

It was Tom.

---
Chapter 12
---

"You requested to see me. Well, here I am."

The words sliced through Chakotay and froze his soul. Tom's voice
sounded so ... normal, he sounded casual, like he'd just popped in for
a cup of tea. Yet here he was, looming over Chakotay, holding the most
frightening knife Chakotay had ever seen in his life.

He found his eyes riveted to that gleaming blade. It was long, and the
end tapered into a cruelly hooked point. Then he noticed the handle.
What he could see of it in Tom's fist, seemed to be of intricately
carved, dark wood. There was something ceremonial about it.

"You like it? It's for you." Tom's voice was now low and seductive,
and Chakotay shivered. He had heard those same tones many times
before, in far happier circumstances. To hear them now, like this,
made this whole situation seem even more unreal ... and terrifying.

He tensed his arms and strained at the cords around his wrists, in a
futile attempt to loosen them. Then he heard a soft, low laugh and
looked up at Tom in horror. Chakotay shook his head. He had to clear
his mind now, or he was going to lose control completely.

He gazed up at Tom, and carefully schooled his expression into a
neutral mask. "Tom," he whispered. "Come on, untie me love."

He saw Tom's teeth flash in a quick grin. "That won't work. Don't you
realize yet? It's Time, Chakotay."

His head was spinning. "Time for what?"

Tom hunkered down beside the bed and leaned over toward Chakotay's
ear. Chakotay cringed and tried to move away as he felt Tom's lips
brushing along his cheek, and then his tongue slipped out and slid up
to his ear. Tom's hand gripped his chin, holding his head in place and
he felt the rasped caress of Tom's breath against his cheek.

"It's Time for me to take you," the words were harshly whispered, and
Chakotay closed his eyes in despair.

Suddenly there was a swift displacement of air, and he felt the heavy
weight of Tom, settling into a straddled position over his waist. He
opened his eyes, and stared up into the glittering eyes above him. He
tried to decipher their expression, but found it impossible. Terror
was slowly taking over his heart and mind, terror of what Tom was
about to do. Because Tom was once again gripping his chin, those
glittering eyes were focused on his mouth, and now Tom was leaning
forward. Chakotay struggled desperately as those once treasured lips
captured his own, overpowering him quickly.

He felt the familiar tongue sweep through his mouth, but there was
nothing familiar about this kiss. It was like a punishment, brutally
forceful, and Chakotay knew his lips were already bruised. Then he
felt the sharp stab of Tom's teeth on his bottom lip, and the salty
rush of blood into his mouth. Tom was sucking now, on the bloody wound
on his lip, and Chakotay felt himself gag in sick horror. He heard Tom
hiss, and suddenly the other man was sitting upright again and those
glittering eyes were once more watching him intently.

"Your turn."

Chakotay barely heard the low words; his eyes were riveted to the now
raised knife. Finally he found his voice.

"Tom, stop this now. There's still time for you to get help. You don't
really want to do this, I know. You'll hate yourself afterwards, when
you realize..." The rest of his words were smothered by Tom's hand
pressing onto his mouth.

"Don't worry, my Prey. You'll understand soon. But no more talking."
Chakotay gasped against Tom's hand as he felt the cold point of the
knife trailing down his throat. "Promise me that you won't speak
again." He felt a tiny trickle of blood as the point pressed into his
skin, and nodded his head frantically. "Good." And the hand and the
knife were removed.

Again those glittering eyes held his. A long moment passed, and then
Tom slowly smiled and raised the knife again. Chakotay watched in
horrified fascination, as Tom ran the blade against the palm of his
own hand. Swiftly he leaned forward and pressed his hand once more
against Chakotay's mouth, and Chakotay felt the hot smear of blood
against his lips.

"Open your mouth," Tom hissed. "Taste it."

Chakotay obeyed, and felt the salty tang on his tongue. Chakotay
watched the other man, as he licked at Tom's palm. Tom's eyes were
closed, and he was breathing harshly, Chakotay was aghast to realize
that he recognized Tom's reaction. It was sexual. He stopped licking,
and Tom opened his eyes and then removed his hand.

Before Chakotay was aware of what was happening Tom had leaned over to
his arm, and sliced the knife across Chakotay's wrist, just above the
cords. Chakotay's body jerked and he screamed at the intense pain and
suddenly Tom's hand smacked him hard against his head.

"I told you, no noise."

Chakotay knew this cut was deep; he could already feel the blood
pouring down his arm, onto the bed. Then he felt Tom's mouth at his
wrist, and turned his head, sickened to see Tom drinking freely from
the wound. As he watched, Tom lifted his head and turned to gaze back
at him. Chakotay gasped when he saw the bloodied lips, and the triumph
glittering in the blue eyes.

Suddenly Tom shifted, and he was lying on Chakotay's chest, his hands
resting on either side of Chakotay's head. He dove onto Chakotay's
lips again, and this time Chakotay struggled fiercely, smearing blood
over both their faces. Tiny lights were dancing in front of his eyes
and he knew he didn't have much time before he passed out from loss of
blood. He suspected he'd never wake up again, and his heart hammered
erratically in his chest, as the fear took a final stranglehold on his
mind.

In shock, he realized that he was struggling against nothing. The body
that had been pressing down onto his was completely gone. At sometime
his eyes had closed, and now he swiftly opened them, and was
confronted with the sight of Tom standing at the end of the bed,
staring at him in amazement.

"Chakotay...?" The voice was nothing more than a whimper, an abject
plea for explanation.

Chakotay saw Tom's face contort in pain, and the knife in his hand
clattered to the floor as he gripped his head. Then he screamed,
shrilly, and crumpled to the floor.

"Tom," Chakotay's voice was a strangled whisper. He could feel
strength and consciousness ebbing from him. Everything looked like it
was underwater, and he squinted his eyes trying to focus.

Amazing, he thought. Now it's Harry Kim at the end of the bed.
Suddenly the room was full of light, burning into his eyes. The Harry
Kim was looking at the floor, bending over, and Chakotay wondered what
could be so interesting down there.

He felt something pulling at his wrist and turned his head. Tuvok was
standing beside him, scanning him with a tricorder. The Vulcan looked
towards the Harry at the end of the bed and spoke. "There is a severe
loss of blood. I'll transfer him to Sickbay immediately."

The Harry Kim answered. "Tom's unconscious."

Chakotay found his voice. "This is a very weird dream," he remarked to
Tuvok.

The Vulcan looked down at him and frowned. "It's not a dream,
Commander."

The light was dim again now and Chakotay could hardly see the Vulcan
beside the bed. He felt his eyelids droop and heard the Vulcan's final
words as if from a great distance.

"It's over, Chakotay. Ensign Azar is dead."

---

Chakotay woke in Sickbay. He blinked rapidly, and then found himself
looking into the concerned eyes of Captain Janeway. He could feel her
hand gripping his shoulder.

"Chakotay, it's Ok, you're in Sickbay."

"Tom?" he croaked.

She smiled down at him. "He's just waking up now." She stepped back
and Chakotay turned his head. Tom was lying on the next biobed. On the
other side of the bed, Harry Kim was hovering over the blonde pilot.

Chakotay sat up on the bed in one rapid movement, and the Captain
flung out a hand to hold his arm. "Steady, you lost a lot of blood."

Chakotay nodded and looked down at his wrist. The cut had been
regenerated, but he could still see the mark where the cord had dug
into his flesh. He heard a moan and looked up. Tom was now sitting up
on the bed opposite him, running a hand through his hair. He saw the
pilot look round at Harry and give him a small smile. "My head feels
like I've been clobbered with one of Neelix' frying pans."

Then he turned and his eyes met Chakotay's. The smile faded, and the
eyes darted away quickly. Painful once again gripped Chakotay's heart
as he saw this reaction.

"What happened?" Chakotay asked the Captain.

She smiled at him. "I'm not exactly sure. You'd better ask Tuvok."

Chakotay looked around and discovered Tuvok standing beside him. The
Vulcan's expression was as unrevealing as ever but Chakotay could
sense a slight aura of triumphant satisfaction in the tall man.

Chakotay frowned. "I thought I heard you say that Ensign Azar is
dead?"

"That is correct, Commander," came the calm reply.

A gasp came from the other bed, and when Chakotay looked over, Tom was
on his feet, pulling his arm out of Harry's hold. "Corella?"

"Yes, Mr Paris. Ensign Azar is dead. She died when I broke the
telepathic hold she had over you." He glanced at the Captain and added
in a low voice. "I was not aware that she might die. However,
logically, her death is for the best."

The Captain glared at him. "I think you'd better explain exactly what
happened."

Tuvok nodded. "Earlier this evening I went to see Mr Paris, as you
know. I must apologize, Captain, for I then broke the direct order you
gave me after the incident with Mr Suder. I initiated a mindmeld with
the Lieutenant."

The Captain exhaled a harsh breath. "I'll deal with that later.
Continue."

"During the mindmeld, I encountered an area of Mr Paris' mind,
isolated from the rest."

"The fog?"

Tuvok turned to Tom and nodded. "You are correct, Lieutenant. I
entered the fog. What I encountered there intrigued me greatly. I
sensed another presence in the Lieutenant's mind. A telepathic link
unlike any other I had ever encountered. This link defended itself,
shielding itself from my probing. When I withdrew from the mindmeld, I
knew that someone was influencing your actions, but I had no idea who
that person was."

"However, I realized the person had to have telepathic abilities.
Amongst Voyager's crew the only telepathic species are the Vulcans,
Ensign Jurot who is Betazoid, and Ensign Azar, a Vendaran. As Ensign
Azar was already involved in the case, I focused my investigation on
her."

Tom interrupted again. "But Corella's telepathic abilities were always
minimal."

Tuvok frowned. "I was aware of that Mr Paris. However, that
information came from the Ensign herself. Vendarans are as dedicated
to the truth as Vulcans. As there are Vulcans who do lie, however, I
concluded that the same must be true of Vendarans. I accessed the
cultural database and researched the Vendaran section thoroughly. What
I found there disturbed me greatly. Hundreds of years ago, on Vendar,
a cult came into existence and achieved great power. This was a very
ritualised cult, and one of their rituals was the practice of
telepathic control and sacrifice of a victim. During the cult's rule
of Vendar, there was great bloodshed involving this ritual.
Eventually, the populace rose up against the cult, and there was a
long civil war. Finally, the cult was overpowered and disbanded, and
their rituals became banned practices, still to this day, punishable
by death. Generally, it was believed that the cult was completely
stamped out. However, I discovered in some restricted documents, that
some small sects of the cult had survived. I concluded that Ensign
Azar must be a member of one of those sects."

As Tuvok spoke, Tom's eyes had been growing wider with undisguised
horror. "This is incredible. You mean all that stuff in my head, about
Chakotay being my Prey, that was really her? Chakotay was actually her
Prey?"

Tuvok gazed at him for a moment and then shook his head. "No,
Lieutenant. Commander Chakotay was never her Prey. You were."

Tom gasped. "Me? Why me?"

"You rejected her. Ensign Azar was obsessed with you, Mr Paris. When
you rejected her, she used the ritual to punish you. She sensed your
feelings for Commander Chakotay, and used them to manipulate your
mind. She intended that you would kill the person you loved, and then
be left alive to face the consequences, the worst punishment she could
think of."

Everyone in the room could hear the distaste in Tuvok's voice. There
was a moment of silence as they digested his words. Chakotay felt like
his head was stuffed with cotton wool; he was stunned into silence. He
looked over at Tom, and saw that the pilot was once again frowning at
Tuvok.

"Why did I...?" Tom's voice was soft and hesitant. "What was the
sexual assault about then?"

Tuvok's voice was gentle when he replied. "It was an opportunity she
took to act on her obsession. You will eventually remember what
happened, Tom. You didn't rape Ensign Azar, she raped you." Tom was
shaking his head in disbelief. "She controlled your mind, that made it
easy for her to control your body and your responses."

"I have a question." It was the Doctor's brisk voice. "Why didn't the
scans I performed on Mr Paris show this telepathic influence?"

"It seems that the Vendarans who have become involved with these cults
have highly developed skills. They actually far surpass Vulcans in
some areas. One of these is the ability to disguise their presence.
That is why, during the mindmeld, I was unable to ascertain who the
invader was. I would assume this ability would have influenced your
scans."

During this exchange, Chakotay had not taken his eyes from Tom. The
young man was leaning against the biobed, his eyes transfixed to the
floor. Chakotay desperately wanted to go over to Tom, take him in his
arms, but he had never seen Tom appear so self-contained and distant.
He knew at this moment, if anyone tried to approach Tom, they would
probably regret it. Then he thought of something and looked at Tuvok.

"Tuvok, why did she call me in here, and tell me that Tom loved me?"
He felt Tom's eyes burning into him, and then just as quickly, they
were gone.

"I imagine, for enjoyment, Commander. Manipulating you would make Mr
Paris attacking you all the more rewarding for her."

Chakotay winced, as Tuvok turned back to Tom.

"Lieutenant, there is still something I am unclear on. I searched your
quarters thoroughly, yet you still had the knife. Where was it
hidden?"

Tom looked up at the Vulcan. "In the replicator," he answered
absently. "I used an encrypted file, and created an isolated database
in the replicator unit in my quarters."

"Ah."

"Tuvok." They all turned to face the Captain. Her voice was harsh and
her eyes were narrowed at Tuvok suspiciously. "Tom was confined to his
quarters under a high level security lockout. There were also two
guards posted at his door. Would you care to explain to me how the
hell he got out of that and ended up in Chakotay's quarters?"

Tuvok's eyes flashed to Harry who shifted uncomfortably. "Yes,
Captain. After my research, I had definite suspicions but no actual
proof, and no means of obtaining any evidence to support my belief. As
the situation required swift action, before the crew became fully
aware of what had occurred, I decided that the best course of action
was to lay a trap."

He eyed the Captain carefully, realizing that her anger was building
to a critical point. "And why didn't you inform me of that decision?"
Her voice was low and menacing.

"I concluded that, as I was in charge of the investigation, the
decision was mine to make."

Chakotay winced again, at the Vulcan's bland reply. Sometimes, Tuvok's
logic amazed him. He watched the Captain as her face turned a
brilliant red and her eyes flashed bolts of pure anger. She took a
deep breath and visibly regained control. "That was quite a conclusion
to reach. I can see we have a lot to discuss later. Continue."

"I removed the lockout and dismissed the guards. Then I enlisted the
aid of Ensign Kim." Harry fidgeted nervously as the Captain's eyes
raked over him. "Ensign Kim informed me when Mr Paris entered the
Commander's quarters. I then went to Ensign Azar's quarters and found
her in a deep trance. I initiated a mindmeld. I'm afraid it took me
longer to break her hold on the Lieutenant than I anticipated."
Chakotay was surprised to see that the gaze Tuvok directed at him was
actually apologetic. "When the hold was broken and I ceased the meld,
the Ensign was dead. I proceeded to the Commander's quarters and
Ensign Kim and I entered and found the Lieutenant unconscious and the
Commander suffering from loss of blood."

By this time the Captain was furiously pacing sickbay. "Were you OUT
OF YOUR MIND??!!! You could have gotten them both killed, as well as
the danger to yourself. That was one hell of a risk you took, Mister."
She was now standing in front of Tuvok and her finger stabbed into his
chest.

"In the circumstances, I believed the risk was acceptable."

The Captain stared up at her Security Chief in stunned disbelief, and
Chakotay felt it time to intervene. He slipped off the biobed and went
to her side.

"Captain, perhaps Tuvok was out of line, but I for one, am grateful to
him."

Captain Janeway glared at Chakotay and opened her mouth to speak, but
before she could begin her tirade they were distracted by a strangled
moan from Tom. They turned in one synchronized movement.

Tom was on the floor, sobbing and Harry was kneeling beside him
desperately attempting to soothe the shaking young man. In two steps,
Chakotay was at Tom's side trying to hold the struggling man in his
arms. He glanced around at the others. "Could you give us a minute
alone?"

The Captain nodded and started to move away, but halted when she saw
Tom shove hard at Chakotay and scramble to his feet.

"No!" he gasped. "If I'm finished here, I want to go back to my
quarters."

Chakotay swiftly got to his feet and reached out a hand to Tom. "We
have to talk, Tom."

Tom shook his head and gripped Harry's arm. "I can't talk about this
now." Chakotay tried to meet the pilot's distressed eyes but Tom
turned his face away and asked the Doctor, "Can I go?"

"I have no reason to keep you here," the Doctor replied.

Tom glanced questioningly at the Captain, who looked from him to
Chakotay, and back again. Eventually, she nodded.

"Come on, Harry."

Tom tightened his grasp on Harry's arm and dragged him out of the
doors of sickbay, not once looking back at Chakotay, who continued to
stare after Tom in concerned dismay.

---
Chapter 13
---

Chakotay caught up with Tom and Harry at the turbolift. It had taken
him about five seconds to decide that letting Tom run away now would
be the greatest mistake he could ever make in his life, so he'd left
the Captain, her mouth hanging open, standing in sickbay with Tuvok.
The Vulcan would just have to face her wrath alone.

Tom still would not meet his eyes, but once they entered the lift,
Harry directed a relieved look at Chakotay. It seemed that, this time,
his actions had pleased Harry, though this was the furthest concern on
Chakotay's mind.

Not a word was spoken until they were out of the lift and standing at
Tom's door. Then, Tom took a deep breath and finally turned to face
Chakotay. He had regained control of himself, but Chakotay could see
the remnants of tears and dark shadows of exhaustion around his eyes.

"Please don't follow me like this, Chakotay. I just can't face you at
the moment."

Chakotay gazed at Tom intently. The raw honesty of Tom's words hurt
him, even though he could understand Tom's need to hide and lick his
wounds. In the same situation, he would probably want to do the same
thing himself, but he also knew that if he let Tom face this alone,
the further damage done to their relationship would be practically
irreparable. Chakotay couldn't let that happen; he needed Tom in his
life too much, not to force the issue now.

"Tom, you may not be able to face me, but I can't leave you alone now.
If I do that, Azar wins. I love you too much to let that happen."

Tom said nothing; he just stood facing Chakotay and, after a moment,
his eyes finally met the Commander's. They gazed at each other for a
long minute and Chakotay could see the fear and indecision in the blue
eyes he loved.

In the end, it was Harry who spoke. "Tom," he reached out a hand and
laid it on Tom's arm, startling the other man back into reality. "I'm
going to go back and face the music with Tuvok. You are going into
your quarters with Chakotay, and you're going to talk to him. OK?"

Tom simply nodded and turned to key the code into the pad beside his
door. Chakotay smiled gratefully at Harry, who leaned forward and
whispered in his ear. "Consider that my apology for having a go at you
earlier." Chakotay nodded and then followed Tom into his quarters.

Once inside, Tom sat down on his couch and wilted visibly. Chakotay
sat down beside him and reached for his hand, but Tom shifted farther
down the couch away from Chakotay.

"Tom?" Chakotay's voice was low and gentle. "Are you angry with me?"

Tom stared at the floor for a moment, and then barely shook his head.
"No, not angry. I'm not sure how I feel. One minute I'd accepted it
was over, the next I'm in your quarters..." Chakotay noticed Tom pale
considerably and restrained himself from reaching for the other man
again. "And now, here you are."

Chakotay knew he had to tread carefully. Tom had been through a hell
of lot in a very short time, and half of it he hadn't had time to
digest. The worst of it was, Tom had faced the situation alone, and
Chakotay knew it would be a long time before he forgave himself for
that. He couldn't expect Tom's instant forgiveness, but he wanted Tom
to know that Chakotay himself hadn't accepted it was over.

"I asked to see you earlier, Tom. Do you know why?" The only response
he got was another shake of the head. "I'd realized that, as bad as
things appeared to be, I trusted you. I knew you couldn't really want
to hurt me. I wanted to see you to tell you that. After you refused to
see me, I wasn't going to give up, believe me."

Tom was facing him now, and Chakotay could see tears forming in his
eyes again. "Don't," Tom gasped out. "I meant it when I said I
couldn't talk about this now. I'm too confused. I can't get it
straight in my head. Corella was one of my best friends, now I find
out she was playing with my mind, forcing me to stalk you. My god,"
Chakotay saw his face completely drain of color. "I almost killed
you."

"Tom," Chakotay began but Tom ignored him.

"I can't remember anything properly, everything's a jumble in my
mind." Tom's voice was rising and he was gripping his head in his
hands. Chakotay sensed that hysteria was imminent, and placed a firm
hand on Tom's shoulder.

"Tom, you're exhausted. Everything will be clearer once you've rested.
I think you should try to sleep." Tom had stopped shaking and was now
gazing at Chakotay. He seemed calmer, and Chakotay continued, "All I
ask, is that you don't shut me out. We need to face this together. Let
me stay with you, while you rest."

He gripped Tom's hand and led him, unresisting, to the bedroom. As he
gently pushed Tom onto the bed, Chakotay noted the heavy, drooping
eyes and realized how completely exhausted the other man truly was.

Tom lay back against the pillows and Chakotay sat on the edge of the
bed. "Please let me stay," he whispered and gently ran a hand through
Tom's hair and then along his cheek. "I'm so sorry I wasn't with you
before, but I won't ever leave you again. I love you, Tom."

Chakotay watched the tired, tense face before him, with a level of
nervous trepidation he'd never felt before. He knew that he loved Tom,
but he was unprepared for the emotions that nearly losing the pilot
had caused in him. If Tom rejected him now, Chakotay wasn't sure how
he would handle it. When Tom closed his eyes and pressed his face
against Chakotay's hand, the relief he felt was overwhelming. Then
Chakotay heard the words he had been dying to hear ever since he
entered Tom's quarters.

"Hold me." It was barely audible, a mere sighing whisper, but to
Chakotay it was like a roar in his head. He felt the sting of tears in
his eyes, and his heart hammered in his chest, as he lay down behind
Tom on the bed and gathered him into his arms.

Tom sighed deeply and was then asleep.

---

Chakotay did not sleep. His own tiredness was not at a level that
allowed his mind to shut down. Thoughts whirled around his brain,
emotion swirled in his chest, and he struggled to make sense of
everything before Tom woke, and the 'fun' really began.

He knew he had his own nightmares to face. Visions of Tom, standing
over him with that knife, rose before his eyes, and he shivered as he
felt his pulse speed up. He knew now, that Tom had been sort of
possessed, but it had not seemed like that at the time. Even though
his actions had been totally alien, Tom had seemed like... Tom.

Chakotay sighed. He needed to meditate, and gods knew when he would
get the chance. One thing he was sure of, he'd have to be very careful
not to let his own confusion impinge on Tom's. If he hurt Tom again
now, he would never forgive himself.

Leaning up on one elbow, Chakotay looked down at the face of the man
sleeping beside him. The strain Tom was feeling was still evident even
as he slept. Chakotay leaned down and softly pressed his lips to the
side of Tom's neck, and his heart swelled with the longing to erase
that strain.

He guessed it would be a long time before he could accomplish that
task. Tom had so many emotions regarding this situation to work
through. He had been violated in so many ways, mentally, emotionally,
and physically. How would he ever trust anyone again? Including
Chakotay.

At that moment, the door chimed and Chakotay swiftly got up and
entered the main room, closing the bedroom door behind him. He didn't
want Tom to be disturbed; Tom needed to sleep until he woke naturally.

"Come," he said softly and the door swished open and the Captain
strode warily into the room.

Chakotay could still see the remnants of her previous anger, and he
cringed at the thought of the tongue-lashing Tuvok must have endured.
Her eyes swiftly searched the room, and then finally rested on
Chakotay.

"How is Tom?" Her voice was gentle and concerned and as he watched,
Chakotay saw the last of her anger drain away.

He walked over to the couch and sat down, and the Captain followed,
taking the seat opposite him. "He's asleep. He was absolutely
exhausted. We haven't really talked about anything yet, but at least
he let me stay."

The Captain's eyes narrowed as she eyed him carefully. "And how are
you? Don't forget you've gone through quite an ordeal as well."

Chakotay sighed. "I know that, but at least I know exactly what that
ordeal was. I'll be fine."

"I don't want you to dismiss this, Chakotay. Tom's going to need to
talk to someone, not so closely involved and I think you should as
well. I want you both to see Tuvok, separately." Her eyes flashed
again as she mentioned the Vulcan's name. "He'll have plenty of time.
I've relieved him of duty for two days, and I want you and Tom to take
whatever time you need as well."

"Are we officially relieved as well?" Chakotay could feel the tension
coming off her in waves, and attempted to lighten the mood.

"If it has to be like that." Her tone was tight, and then she stood
and paced quickly around the room.

"I'm so angry with him, Chakotay, for more reasons than just his
defying my authority. He could've gotten you all killed. Even Harry."
She laughed bitterly. "To think I was concerned about what Harry might
do, I never even considered Tuvok. What on earth possessed him?"

Chakotay smiled. "I gather he sensed your worry over the situation,
and decided to get you out of it."

The Captain returned to her seat, and leaned forward resting her chin
in her hands. "That's basically what he told me." She smiled ruefully
into Chakotay's eyes. "The most annoying thing is, that I actually
feel some small relief that he succeeded." She straightened up again,
and her eyes flashed once more. "He'll still have to face the
consequences though. I've relieved him of duty; I want him to think
about what he's done. I'm also putting a formal reprimand on his
permanent record." She sighed. "Not that it means much out here."

"It will mean something to him, though. He hates letting you down."
Chakotay paused for a moment, and then asked, "What about Harry?"

"He's getting a formal reprimand also. I didn't relieve him; he was
basically following Tuvok's orders." She grinned at Chakotay.
"Besides, with half my senior staff missing, I need him on the
bridge." She frowned. "I sent him to see Pablo Baytart. He's a victim
in this as well."

Chakotay grimaced. "Darn, I'd forgotten about him. I hope he'll be
Ok."

"I'm on my way to check on him. I just wanted to see how you and Tom
were doing."

"I won't really know that, until Tom wakes up." Chakotay shook his
head. "You know, I still can't believe what's happened. All these
years, she seemed perfectly normal, and she must have been completely
insane the whole time. Why didn't any of us see it?"

Captain Janeway frowned. "I don't know that she was completely insane.
Obviously she had a great telepathic power, and that made her feel
superior to everyone else. Once she focused on Tom, I suppose she felt
that nothing should stand in her way, including Tom himself."

"But what about the fixation with blood?" Chakotay swallowed heavily
as his stomach churned. "I mean, all that drinking it."

"Tuvok explained some of the cult's practices to me. Apparently there
was quite an emphasis on blood rituals. The sharing and drinking of
blood, was one of their rites of sacrifice." The Captain pulled a face
of distaste. "No wonder there was a long war on Vendar, to overthrow
the cult." She stood up and headed to the door. "I'd better go. I've
still got to figure out exactly what to tell the crew about this whole
thing."

Chakotay nodded and stood up. "Thanks for dropping by."

After she was gone, Chakotay returned to the bedroom, and checked on
Tom. The young man was still sleeping, the lines of tension plainly
visible on his face. Chakotay carefully climbed onto the bed and
spooned up behind Tom, once more taking him in his arms. Tom stiffened
for a moment, but then he sighed and relaxed against Chakotay's chest.

Chakotay pressed his lips against the back of Tom's neck, and inhaled
the scent of his lover, the scent that he now realized he had missed
so much in the last two days. God, has it only been two days, he
thought. That must be the longest two days of my life. It seems like a
month.

Chakotay snuggled closer to Tom, and then finally fell asleep himself.

---
Chapter 14
---

Chakotay woke because someone was kissing him. He felt the soft brush
of lips over his, and then the gentle caress as they travelled down
his throat. He moaned softly, and the lips returned to his mouth and
pressed firmly against it. When he parted his lips, he immediately
felt the plunge of a hot tongue into his mouth, and he knew he must be
in heaven. Then the lips were gone.

Once fully awake he opened his eyes, and discovered Tom hovering above
him, gazing down at him, with a warm expression.

"You're awake," Chakotay stated stupidly.

Tom rubbed a leg against Chakotay's growing erection and smiled. "So
are you."

Chakotay shifted uncomfortably and was mortified to feel himself
blushing, as Tom's smile widened. "Tom..." he began, but got no
further as Tom leaned down to kiss him again. He gently returned the
kiss, but couldn't help feeling some concern. He suspected that Tom
still wasn't ready to talk and that he was trying to distract the both
of them with sex.

"What's wrong?"

Chakotay suddenly realized that Tom had stopped kissing him, and was
again gazing down at him, this time with worried eyes. "Nothing."
Chakotay assured him, and reached up to Tom, drawing him down again
and fluttering soft kisses over his face. Perhaps Tom wasn't just
trying to distract him. Maybe he also needed a practical demonstration
of Chakotay's love, and Chakotay didn't want to hurt Tom by turning
him down, even if they did need to talk. Chakotay knew that Tom would
see it as just another rejection.

He tightened his arms around Tom's waist and pulled him closer, and
then rolled them both over so that Tom was trapped beneath him. When
Tom's lips found his again, Chakotay was ready and he devoured Tom's
mouth with uncontrolled passion. Finally, gasping for breath, they
parted and Chakotay saw his desire reflected in Tom's dilated eyes.

"I've missed that," Tom breathed, and a small tear escaped from the
corner of his left eye.

Chakotay kissed the tear away. "I have too," he whispered. "Tom, I
love you so much."

He moaned as he felt Tom's lips burn against his throat, and then
there was hot breath against his ear and he heard an answering
whisper. "Show me, Chakotay. Show me by fucking me so hard I forget
what day it is."

Chakotay's heart raced at the heat in those words, and God help him,
talking could definitely wait. Tom wanted to be fucked, and Tom was
going to get exactly what he wanted. He sat up and pulled at Tom's
clothes, and smiled when he realized that Tom's hands were working
just as feverishly as his own.

When they were both finally naked, Chakotay once more pressed Tom into
the bed. Tom groaned and writhed sensuously underneath him, obviously
revelling in the sensation of hot skin sliding against his own. His
thigh pressed up firmly between Chakotay's legs, creating just enough
friction to drive Chakotay into further passion.

Then they were kissing again, and for a while, everything else was
forgotten as they savoured each other's mouths. The kisses were deep
and luxurious and Chakotay found himself wishing that his tongue could
live in Tom's mouth permanently, it felt so much better there than in
his own.

Desire grew until it was white hot, and Chakotay's entire universe now
seemed to be Tom's lips on his, Tom's hands holding his head, Tom's
erection pressing against his hip and his own hard cock aching to be
embedded in Tom's ass. Serious thoughts of lube now began to intrude
into Chakotay's mind.

It seemed that Tom's thoughts had reached that point ahead of him
because suddenly Chakotay felt a tube pressing into his hand. He
stopped kissing Tom, and knelt between his lover's legs. As he
unscrewed the cap from the tube, Chakotay searched Tom's face for any
signs of doubt or reluctance, but Tom merely smiled dreamily into his
eyes, and panted through slightly parted lips. When Chakotay reached
down into Tom's crack with his slick fingers, Tom bent his knees to
allow Chakotay better access.

As Chakotay pushed one finger into Tom, he heard the other man gasp,
"Oh yes." Again he searched Tom's face, and the desire and need he saw
there thrilled him. When he pushed in a second finger, Tom moaned and
writhed sinuously on the bed, pushing against Chakotay's hand.

Chakotay dropped a kiss on Tom's upraised knee, and continued to watch
Tom's face in fascination, while he moved his fingers inside the
gorgeous man's ass. The blue eyes glittered at him, and Chakotay froze
for a moment in painful memory, but then Tom moaned his name, and
Chakotay felt a strong surge of hot lust flame through his body. His
cock was twitching painfully now, and Chakotay used his other hand to
coat it with lube, closing his eyes at the sensation, and trying to
think of anything else except how close he was to coming.

When he felt calmer, he opened his eyes and positioned himself between
Tom's legs. Tom was raising himself off the bed in eagerness to meet
him and Chakotay quickly grabbed a pillow and shoved it underneath
Tom's butt. Then he leaned forward, resting a hand on either side of
Tom's waist and pushed slowly into his lover.

Tom's heated gaze burned into Chakotay's eyes as he slid into the
delicious body. Tom was gasping for breath, and his arms were wrapped
around Chakotay's waist trying to pull him in even deeper. Chakotay
lay for a moment, enjoying the feel of his balls resting against Tom's
ass. Then he pressed his mouth against Tom's slightly parted lips, and
pushed his hips hard against Tom, relishing the groan that Tom
expelled into his mouth. He briefly thrust his tongue into Tom's
mouth, and moaned when Tom's tongue eagerly pushed against his.

Chakotay could no longer contain himself, and Tom's words breathed
into his ear, encouraged him not to. He pulled back and then thrust
back into Tom, as hard as he could. Chakotay rose up onto his elbows
for a better angle, and continued to rock against Tom, as the younger
man rolled his head on the pillow in ecstasy. Chakotay felt like he
was looking down on the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. Tom's
skin was delicately flushed, his hair rested in damp little strands on
his forehead, his eyes were closed, and he was panting through
slightly parted lips.

Then the eyes opened, and Chakotay could see how wildly dilated they
were with passion. The sight fueled his own desire, and he maneuvered
himself so that he was kneeling over Tom with the other man's legs
over his shoulders. He pounded into Tom with fevered abandonment, and
he knew the groans he now heard came from his own lips.

He could feel Tom's hands gripping his arms, and his moans had taken
on a pleading note. He looked down and saw the weeping proof of Tom's
need and immediately reached down to take it in a firm grasp. In only
a few rough strokes, Tom was spurting over his hand, and arching his
back in rapture.

"Oh Gods, Chakotay," he breathed, as Chakotay continued to plunge into
his body. The thrusts became harder and less rhythmic and then
Chakotay flung back his head and tensed at the delicious agony of his
own orgasm. After the tremors passed, he rested his head on Tom's
chest and closed his eyes, listening to the pounding of the other
man's heart. He felt Tom's fingers drifting lazily over his back and
smiled against the furred chest. It felt so good to be back where he
belonged.

"So, what day is this?" the whisper was full of mirth, and Chakotay
felt laughter burbling in his chest and then erupting from his lips.
Love swelled in his heart, and he raised himself to look down at Tom
and knew that his love was shining from his eyes straight into the
heart of his lover.

Tom's laughter stilled as he gazed back into Chakotay's twinkling
eyes, and he felt tears welling yet again. He shook his head in
frustration; he couldn't believe the way his emotions were just so all
over the place. He felt completely raw, like he had no control
whatsoever, and the feeling scared him. When he met Chakotay's warm
brown eyes again, he could see the concern in their depths.

A gentle hand brushed his cheek. "Tom, what is it, love?"

"Nothing," Tom struggled against Chakotay's heavy weight. "Sorry, I
really need to get up."

Chakotay moved swiftly, and sat on the bed beside Tom. "There was
something, Tom. Tell me, please."

Tom got off the bed and headed into the bathroom. He came back with a
towel and handed it to Chakotay. "Here."

Chakotay took the towel, but continued to sit and stare up at Tom
expectantly. When Tom saw this, he sighed and sat down beside the
Commander. "It was just the way you looked at me. So much love and
trust. Then I remembered how you looked when I was in the brig, and
then the fear I saw in your eyes when I was in your quarters..." Tom's
voice choked, and he couldn't continue.

"Tom," Chakotay reached across and dragged Tom into his arms. The
young man rested against his chest and burrowed his face into
Chakotay's neck, trying to control his tears. "Nothing can erase those
images; we both know that. All we can do is outnumber them with better
ones. I do love you, and I do trust you, and I promise you that from
now on when you look at me, that's what you'll see."

He felt Tom sigh against his throat. "It's starting to sink in now,
you know. When I woke up, I could remember more. God, I can't describe
to you how I felt when I found your medicine bundle in my closet. At
first, I thought the stalker had put it there, then these images
flashed into my mind," his voice sank to a whisper. "I was so scared,
I didn't know what to do."

Chakotay tightened his arms around Tom, and even though the words he
was hearing were painful, he felt a strong sense of relief. At last
his lover was talking, and now they could go forward from the hell of
the last couple of days.

"I needed to talk to someone. Harry and B'Elanna were on that
asteroid, and I just couldn't go to you," Tom continued, unconsciously
answering Chakotay's unasked question. "I don't know why that was, I
wanted to, but I was just so scared. You had gone through so much
already, and I was afraid that it was actually me, who'd done all
those things to you." He lifted his head, and gazed up into Chakotay's
eyes. "I know how hard it was for you to let someone into your life. I
know how often you'd been hurt in the past. My God, you'd just asked
me to move in with you, how could I tell you that it was me who had
been stalking you."

Chakotay dropped a kiss onto Tom's forehead. He had a thousand things
he wanted to say, but he didn't want to interrupt. Tom needed to get
everything out, say everything he needed to say. He watched Tom's face
and tightened his arms again when he saw the blue eyes cloud over in
pain. Then Tom lowered his face and rested it against Chakotay's neck
again.

"Corella was always my friend. She'd helped me so many times; I knew
she would help me again. I went to her quarters," Chakotay felt Tom
stiffen in his arms, and there was a long minute of silence. "I
remember now. She was so comforting at first, but then she seemed
worried, not just about me, but something else. She asked me all about
the visions, and she seemed angry."

Tom was shaking now, and Chakotay ran a hand down his back, trying to
soothe. "I felt her... slithering into my mind, and then she was
making me..." Tom pulled out of Chakotay's arms, and Chakotay could
see that his eyes were wide with horror. "I called for you, but you
didn't come."

Chakotay's heart clenched and he felt furious anger rising in his gut.
He struggled to contain himself, and reached out a hand to take Tom's.
"I'm here now, Tom."

It seemed that Tom didn't hear him. He continued to gaze at the wall
with unseeing eyes, and Chakotay knew that he was reliving that
terrible experience in Corella's quarters. He tightened his grip on
Tom's hand. "Tom... Tom."

Suddenly Tom yanked his hand from Chakotay's and rose to his feet.
Before Chakotay could even get to his own feet, Tom had disappeared
into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Chakotay strode over
to the door and knocked, getting no answer. When he tried to open it,
he discovered the door was locked.

"Tom! Tom let me in." Chakotay knocked on the door again.

He rested his ear against the door, and heard nothing. After calling a
few more times, he stood back and gazed at the door in consternation.
It looked like he needed help.

Chakotay grabbed a robe, found his combadge on the floor, and commed
for the Doctor.

---
Chapter 15
---

"So what happened? Why did he lock himself in the bathroom?"

The Doctor had scanned through the door, and found that Tom's signs
were stable. He just wasn't answering any of their calls.

"He was talking to me about everything that had happened," Chakotay
answered. "He's started to remember more. He'd gotten up to the
assault in Azar's quarters, when he just blanked out and then locked
himself in the bathroom."

The Doctor eyed Chakotay's robe and then waved the tricorder in his
direction. Chakotay took a quick step back, and fell onto the edge of
the bed.

"Commander!" The Doctor's voice was scandalized. "Lieutenant Paris has
suffered a severe emotional trauma. Indulging in immediate sexual
activity is not the usual prescribed method for treating a rape
victim. I would have thought, that with your counseling experience,
you would have shown more restraint!"

Chakotay rose to his feet and advanced on the Doctor. He knew his face
must be scarlet, he could feel it burning. "Look, you ...," he took a
deep breath, as the Doctor retreated into the main room. "It wasn't
like that." He gritted his teeth. "I am not going to explain this to
you."

"Really?" the Doctor smugly replied. "Perhaps you'd prefer to explain
to the Captain, then."

Chakotay took another deep breath, and counted to ten. "Look, Tom
instigated it Ok? It was his way of releasing enough tension to talk.
Now, how do you suggest we get him out of the bathroom?"

The Doctor wisely decided to drop the subject, and looked again at his
tricorder. "Well, physically he's fine, so I'm assuming the problem is
emotional." Chakotay nodded his head briskly. "Under these
circumstances, I'd advise talking to the counselor," he eyed Chakotay
once more. "Obviously that's not working, so my next suggestion would
be Lieutenant Tuvok."

"He's confined to quarters, so I'll have to comm the Captain,"
Chakotay sighed deeply. "I would have preferred not to end up with
half the ship here."

---

While they waited for the Captain and Tuvok, Chakotay got dressed.
After that, he tried the bathroom door again, but there was still no
response from Tom.

Finally the door chimed and the Captain and Tuvok walked into the
room. The Captain looked drawn and tired, but she immediately came
over to Chakotay and gripped his arm.

"What happened?"

"Tom started to remember the assault, and then he locked himself in
the bathroom," Chakotay briefly informed her. Then he looked at Tuvok.
"We thought it best if you were the one to override the lock, and go
in and talk to him."

Tuvok nodded and followed Chakotay into the bedroom, while the Captain
and the Doctor remained in the main area. Chakotay found Tom's robe
and handed it to Tuvok.

"Um... he's not wearing anything," Chakotay averted his eyes from
Tuvok's raised eyebrow, and felt himself flush with embarrassment.
"He'll probably want to put this on, before he comes out."

"Very well, Commander." Tuvok took the robe and walked up to the
bathroom door, quickly overriding the lock. Chakotay caught a brief
glimpse of Tom sitting on the floor of the bathroom before the door
closed again.

When Chakotay went back to the main area, the Doctor was gone and the
Captain was taking two steaming cups from the replicator. She
shepherded Chakotay to the couch and handed him a cup. "I got us some
tea. I sent the Doctor to see Ensign Baytart. Before he left he asked
me to apologize to you on his behalf." She glanced at him curiously.
"What was that about?"

Chakotay grimaced. "Never mind. But I've got to tell you; you almost
lost the Doctor tonight. I'm still considering corrupting his
program."

Her eyes twinkled, and then she grew serious again. "How are you?
Obviously things have turned quite dramatic since I was last here."

Chakotay felt himself flushing yet again and deliberately changed the
subject. "I'm fine. But you've sent the Doctor to Baytart. How is he?
Is Harry still with him?"

She took another sip of tea and nodded her head. "Yes, B'Elanna's
there as well, now that she's calmed down. I don't think Harry is
going to be too happy about the state of his quarters. That's where
she was when I told her what had happened," she answered Chakotay's
questioning look. "You know, I feel so bad for Pablo. He really loved
Ensign Azar, you know. He was about to ask her to marry him, he'd even
saved his rations and replicated a ring." She passed a hand across her
face. "He showed it to me."

Chakotay exhaled a hissing breath. "She sure did a lot of damage."

"Yes," the Captain sighed, and then lapsed into silence.

They finished their tea, without talking. The Captain was tired, and
obviously worrying about what she would tell the crew the next day,
and Chakotay's mind was full of Tom and what could be happening in the
bathroom.

Eventually the Captain left, and Chakotay lay down on the couch and
continued to worry about Tom.

---

Chakotay realized he must have fallen asleep again, when he felt
someone shaking his shoulder and opened his eyes to meet the gaze of
Tuvok. As Chakotay swung his legs to the floor and attempted to rise,
Tuvok retained his grip on his shoulder and held him in place and then
took the seat beside him. Chakotay stared at the Vulcan in surprise.

"Where's Tom?" he demanded.

"He's in the bedroom." Tuvok replied, and Chakotay was stunned to hear
the weariness in his voice. He peered closely at Tuvok's face and
noted the lines of strain around the Vulcan's eyes. Then he remembered
everything Tuvok had done that day, and realized that he'd obviously
reached his limit.

"Is he Ok?"

"I think so, Commander. The rapid restoration of the Lieutenant's
memories of the assault conflicted with the images Ensign Azar had
planted in his mind, and he was unable to process what had happened. I
initiated a mindmeld and guided him through his memories until he was
able to accept the conflict."

Chakotay stared at him in consternation. "Umm... Tuvok, did the
Captain know that you might do that?"

"The Captain told me to use any means necessary to assist Mr Paris. I
believe she realized that a mindmeld might be included in those
means."

"Fine. So is Tom all right now?"

"Obviously he still has some negative emotions to deal with, but I
believe that he is now ready to do so. However, he was also distressed
that he had pushed you away, though I was able to help him to see the
reasons why he did. He is waiting to talk to you about this,
Commander."

Chakotay immediately got to his feet. "Thank you, Tuvok. I can't begin
to tell you how much I appreciate your help." He walked Tuvok over to
the door and opened it for him. "I really think you should get some
rest now."

Tuvok raised an eyebrow and his voice was dryer than usual when he
responded. "Thank you, Commander. I will take your advice."

---

When Chakotay entered the bedroom, Tom looked up and smiled at him. He
was sitting on the edge of the bed, wrapped in his robe, and he took
Chakotay's hand when the Commander sat down beside him.

"How are you feeling?" Chakotay asked gently.

"Oh, much better. It was just all so confusing," he frowned slightly
at Chakotay. "I'm sorry I ran from you like that, but there was a
reason, and I have to talk to you about it."

Chakotay's heart rate sped up. "Ok."

Tom continued to gaze at him, still with a slight frown on his
features. "I hadn't really realized it, but the truth is, I was angry
with you Chakotay." He tightened his grip on Chakotay's hand when he
saw the distress on the other man's face. "Look, I know that it wasn't
really justified. You didn't know what was really happening, just as I
didn't. I would have reacted the same way in your shoes." Tom paused
for a moment and stared at their linked hands.

"But?" Chakotay breathed.

Tom looked at him again, and flashed a quick reassuring smile. "But, I
did feel abandoned. And then everything happened so fast, and next
thing, we were here in bed together. I know I initiated that," he
added quickly. "But I didn't give myself enough time to realize
exactly what I was feeling."

Again he saw the distress, and now guilt, on Chakotay's face and
reached over to run a hand along the other man's cheek. "This is not
your fault Chakotay, and we will get through it." He waited until
Chakotay's eyes met his, and then continued, "We both need some time
though... alone. I'm concerned that you've been through so much as
well, and yet you've been here completely focused on me. You need time
to deal with your emotions just as much as I do."

Chakotay sighed. It hurt, but he knew that Tom was right. "What do you
want to do?"

Tom smiled gently. "I want you to go back to your quarters and get
some rest. Think, meditate, whatever you want to do. I'll be fine here
on my own, in fact I need this time." He looked around vaguely.
"Actually... Computer, what time is it?"

"The time is 0530 hours."

"Shit." Tom stared at Chakotay. "Please don't tell me we have a shift
today."

Chakotay shook his head and laughed. "No, the Captain gave us some
time off."

"Oh, in that case, how about you invite me to your quarters for dinner
tonight?"

Chakotay leaned over and kissed the cheeky face before him. "Consider
yourself invited."

---

When Chakotay got back to his quarters, he immediately sat down with
his medicine bundle. It had been over a month since he had been able
to use it, and the relief he felt when he opened it and saw its
contents, was overwhelming.

This was a long vision quest; he had a lot to discuss with his spirit
guide. The first thing that confused him was that his guide met him in
the Academy boxing gymnasium, but eventually he realized that he had
his own anger to fight with, and sat down beside her. The scene around
them changed many times as they talked, and at one point Chakotay
realized with shock, they were actually sitting in Voyager's brig.
Eventually they wound up in the kitchen of Chakotay's childhood home,
and when Chakotay felt the familiar sense of peace and contentment
wash over him, he knew the quest was almost over.

He promised to visit his spirit guide again the next day, she was
adamant about this, and then he opened his eyes to the dim light of
his own quarters, and realized he was starving. God, he couldn't
remember the last time he had eaten, and he stumbled over to the
replicator and ordered a mushroom pizza with a salad, and a cup of
tea.

As he ate, he wondered what he was going to do for the rest of the
day. He checked the time and discovered it was 0930. He had been
meditating for three and a half hours! He realized that alpha shift
had started and wondered what the Captain had decided to tell the
crew. The computer told him that she was in her ready room, so he
commed her.

"Janeway here," she answered his hail. "I know exactly why you're
comming me, Chakotay. I've ordered a general crew meeting at 1400
hours. You and Tom don't have to attend," she assured him.

"What are you going to say?" Chakotay asked.

She sighed. "I thought about that a lot, but I've made a final
decision. We're in a unique situation out here, a situation that
requires more openness than usual. There's already enough rumours
flying around the ship as it is. So I've decided to tell them pretty
much the whole story, but without some of the more graphic details. I
imagine, there will be some distressing reactions, but I think it's
for the best, and it will eventually blow over. That's an undeniable
fact of life."

Chakotay had to agree. "I think you're right, but I think you should
inform Tom of this before you make an announcement."

"Yes, I thought of that. I'm having lunch with him in his quarters at
1200 hours." Chakotay could hear the curiosity in her voice, and
forestalled her next question.

"Everything's fine, Kathryn. We just needed some time apart, but we're
having dinner together tonight and we're fine."

"Oh good. I'd better go. And Chakotay?"

"Yes?"

"Don't forget to see Tuvok."

It was an order. Chakotay sighed. "No Captain, I won't forget.
Chakotay out."

Knowing she'd check up on him later, Chakotay immediately commed Tuvok
and made an appointment for the following day. Then he decided to take
a bath.

---
Chapter 16
---

The first thing Tom did after Chakotay left was to take a shower. Not
a sonic one, but a real, steaming hot water one. He stood under the
stream of water for many long minutes, enjoying the sensation of his
muscles relaxing.

After his shower, he had something to eat. The last couple of days
he'd had no appetite, but now he realized he was ravenous, and it was
only after two ham and cheese croissants and a large mug of coffee
that he felt satisfied.

Then he sat down to record his personal log. Before he had left, Tuvok
had suggested that recording what had happened might help him to get
it straight in his head, and recognize the emotions that had arisen
regarding the incident. At first, Tom had thought the idea a waste of
time, but now he felt the need to go through everything step by step.
Perhaps then, he would find some measure of completion.

Earlier, his exhaustion had numbed him, but once he had processed the
memories in the bathroom with Tuvok, a severe emotional reaction had
set in. Tuvok had patiently ridden the waves with him, and Tom knew he
had worn the Vulcan out. He was extremely grateful to Tuvok, and he
was also grateful that Chakotay had not been there as well. Tom knew
that Chakotay was still too fragile himself, to handle seeing Tom in
such a state, even if the Commander did hide it well.

Towards the end of recording his personal log, the Captain commed to
ask if she could visit him for lunch. He agreed for a time of 1200
hours, and went to get dressed and tidy up his quarters. Then he sat
down to have a long think about Chakotay.

It hadn't quite sunk in that, after everything that had occurred,
Chakotay apparently loved him and still wanted to be with him. Tom
could now remember everything that had happened in Chakotay's
quarters, particularly the terror in Chakotay's eyes. That terror had
been directed at him, Tom, and the memory of that would stay with him
for a long time. Tom knew he'd suffered from insecurity regarding his
relationship with Chakotay. Now, it seemed, he had one more thing to
be insecure about. Would Chakotay ever really trust him again?

At this moment his door chimed, and Tom realized with shock that it
was 1200 hours. He opened the door and the Captain strode in.

"Tom, how are you?"

"Fine, Captain," Tom replied. He noticed the dark rings around her
eyes and asked with concern, "How are you? You look tired."

"Thanks," she replied dryly. "You're right, though, I am tired. I was
up all night, worrying over something. That's what I wanted to talk
with you about. But how about we get some lunch first? I'm starving."

Tom got them some sandwiches and tea, and they sat down on the couch
and began to eat. After a few moments, Captain Janeway gazed at Tom
and then spoke.

"I heard about last night. I'm glad Tuvok was able to help."

Tom flushed slightly. "He was a great help, actually. I know I still
have some work to do, but at least now I feel like the worst is over."

The Captain reached over and gripped his hand for a moment. "You don't
know how happy it makes me to hear that, Tom. This whole thing, it's
been such a nightmare, and I'm afraid it's not quite over yet." She
noticed Tom's questioning look and continued, "The crew have to be
told something. I'm sorry, but I think that they are going to have to
be told the basic truth, otherwise there's going to be some wild
speculation going on. What do you think?"

Tom thought for a moment and then returned her gaze. "I'm afraid
you're right." He laughed. "No matter what, I always seem to be the
main topic on the gossip mill."

Captain Janeway was delighted to hear his laugh, and her answering
smile was radiant. "Oh there'll eventually be another topic to take
your place, particularly now you're off the single list."

This time Tom's laugh was slightly forced, and the humour didn't reach
his eyes. Captain Janeway noticed immediately, and gave Tom a quick
glance of concern. She picked up her tea and took a sip, and, as she
returned the mug to the table, she watched Tom staring in abstraction
at the floor.

She cleared her throat. "Tom."

He looked up quickly. "Sorry, Captain. What did you say?"

"When I came in before, you looked sort of worried, and just now I
noticed the same thing. Is there something else bothering you?" Tom
frowned and didn't reply. The Captain wasn't going to give up however.
"About Chakotay, maybe? You know I was talking to him before, and he's
really looking forward to having dinner with you tonight."

This got a response. "He told you that?"

"Yes," she frowned. "Why would you doubt it?"

Suddenly Tom was up on his feet, pacing the room. "I don't know. I
can't help it. He's done nothing but tell me how much he loves me, and
I do believe him. Then I remember the way he looked when I cut him
with that knife. I picture it over and over again, and then I can't
imagine how he would ever trust me again. Then, at the same time, I
wonder why he never trusted me in the first place, when he was
supposed to love me then." He turned to look at her. "Did you know I
was going to move in with him? I was packing my things when I found
his medicine bundle."

Captain Janeway got up and came over to him, taking his arm and
leading him back to the couch. "I didn't know that, Tom, but I'm not
surprised. I could see how Chakotay felt about you. And I can see how
much he feels now. The irony of this is, I know he's wondering how
you'll ever trust him again. He feels that he let you down so badly,
but I know that eventually he did want to be with you. That's why he
asked me to ask you to see him."

"I know all that," Tom answered. "I can accept the way he reacted, and
I trust him to be there for me in the future."

"Ok," said the Captain. "So why can't you accept that he trusts you?
Are you afraid that at some time in the future you'll let him down?"

Tom frowned and shook his head. "No, I'd never let him down, if I
could help it."

"Then you must see, that you didn't let him down now. You couldn't
help what happened. Neither of you could; someone else was in control
of the situation. So, there is no reason for Chakotay not to trust
you. Believe me, he knows that." She gripped Tom's hand once more.
"Tom, it's only natural that you should feel insecure now, but
Chakotay loves you very much. Don't doubt that, and don't doubt
yourself. You are one of the strongest people I have ever known."

Tom blinked back a couple of tears and squeezed her hand. "Thanks,
Captain."

"No problem," she stood, still clasping his hand. "I'd better go." She
grimaced. "I have a meeting to attend. Are you OK?"

Tom stood and walked her to the door. "Yeah, I feel a lot better.
Thanks."

The door opened and with a nod she was gone.

---

Tom spent the rest of the afternoon looking forward to seeing
Chakotay. Somehow, the talk with the Captain had reassured him, and he
now felt the confidence he had felt early that morning when the
Commander had left.

He grabbed a quick nap, and then took some time choosing what to wear.
He smirked to himself, hoping he wouldn't be wearing the outfit for
too long. He was definitely ready to see Chakotay again.

Just as he was leaving, Harry turned up at his door to see how he was,
and ended up walking Tom to Chakotay's quarters. On the way they ran
into a few crewmembers. Everyone seemed very subdued, but the smiles
directed at Tom were reassuring and friendly, and Tom couldn't help
feeling a strong sense of relief.

Harry left him at Chakotay's door, and Tom chimed. Immediately the
door opened and he was hauled through the door into a bone-crushing
embrace.

"I gather you're glad to see me," Tom gasped, struggling to get enough
air to speak.

The grip around his ribcage loosened and he found himself gazing into
Chakotay's dark eyes. "Can't you tell?"

"My ribs certainly can..." Tom began, but the lips covering his
blocked his next words. Who needed to talk anyway? Tom thought as he
responded to Chakotay's demanding kiss. And who needs to breathe? When
Chakotay finally released him, Tom felt completely dazed.

"So, what would you like to eat?" Chakotay asked as he strode to the
replicator.

"Huh?"

"You know. Food."

"Oh, very funny. I'm not that hungry actually, so I'll have a green
salad and a piece of spinach pie." He paused for a moment and then
added innocently. "That'll probably fill me up, so I hope you didn't
have anything planned for desert?"

Chakotay turned with the food plates in his hands, and smiled sweetly
at Tom. "Oh, well I did, but if you're going to be full, I guess I'll
just have to have it by myself."

Tom glared at him. "Don't you dare."

Chakotay laughed and held out a hand. "Come and eat."

After the heaviness of the last day, both of them enjoyed the light
flirtatious talking they now indulged in while they ate. This was
familiar to Tom, and gave him the secure feeling that his life was
returning to normal, and he could see that Chakotay felt the same way.

When they had finished the meal, they cleaned up and then took their
coffee over to the couch. For a while they sat in companionable
silence, and then Chakotay turned to Tom, drawing him into his arms,
and covering his lips with his own.

The kiss was tender and erotic at the same time, and Tom felt himself
being drawn into it until all his focus was on the feel of Chakotay's
tongue in his mouth, duelling with his own. Then he felt Chakotay's
hand on his crotch, kneading the erection it found there, and he
pulled his lips from Chakotay's and moaned against his throat.

"So, may I have my desert now?" Chakotay whispered.

Tom snorted against his lover's neck. "Don't let me stop you."

Chakotay's hand was already undoing his trousers, pulling them away
from Tom's straining erection. "Thanks," he breathed into Tom's ear,
and then he was sliding down between Tom's legs, pushing them further
apart.

Tom watched as Chakotay nuzzled his face into Tom's balls and then
sucked one into his mouth. As Chakotay moved his attentions to the
other one, Tom leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes,
anticipating the moment when Chakotay would take him into his mouth.
When he felt a wet finger pushing inside him, he moaned and opened his
legs wider.

Gods, the sensations were incredible, and finally Chakotay's tongue
was swirling around the weeping head of his cock, and now sliding down
the length of his shaft. This combined with the finger stroking his
prostrate was rapidly pushing Tom over the edge. He opened his eyes
and looked down to discover that Chakotay was watching him intently.
The hot concentration of that gaze set butterflies off in Tom's
stomach.

Then, as Tom watched, Chakotay took his cock into his mouth and sucked
it hard into his throat. A loud groan erupted from Tom, and he
couldn't take his eyes from Chakotay's. A couple of sucks more, and it
was over. Tom exploded into Chakotay's mouth, and then enjoyed the
sight of his own seed spilling from the Commander's mouth, as he tried
to swallow rapidly.

Suddenly his head whirled and he leaned back on the couch and closed
his eyes. He felt Chakotay climb back onto the couch and settle beside
him, and a hand caressed his chest.

"Tom, are you all right?"

Tom smiled and turned his head towards his lover. "Oh yeah. That was
just... intense, that's all."

He felt Chakotay's lips brushing his neck, and hummed contentedly.
"Tom?"

This time Tom opened his eyes and met his lover's gaze. "Yeah?" he
answered softly, still feeling dreamily dazed.

"Do you remember what you were doing when you found my medicine
bundle?"

Tom sat up slightly. "Yeah," he answered. "I was looking for a bag to
put my clothes in."

Chakotay smiled and nodded. "You were packing. And I was supposed to
be there, helping you." He paused for a moment and Tom was surprised
to realize that he looked shy. "Well, I was wondering if we could go
and finish that packing now?"

Tom stared in shock at Chakotay and then felt his heart swell with
adoration. It looked very much like his love had seduced him
deliberately in order to ask him this question. Well, a devious
Chakotay certainly had its benefits, he could now attest to that. Of
course, he would have to pay him back later, but first there was the
matter of his packing.

Tom leaned forward and plastered a passionate kiss on Chakotay's lips,
and then gazed into his expectant eyes. "Let's go."

---

The End