The BLTS Archive-  I'll See You In Your Dreams
by Alicia (J0J0_77@hotmail.com)

---

Basic Disclaimer: Paramount created Star Trek: TNG and all characters.
I do not own any of this, I'm just borrowing it for the purpose of
this story.

Copyright December 1999

Dedication: Do I have to have one? Okay...how about to Kate.
Yeah..thanks Kate and uh..this one's for you (??)

Author's Notes: This is pure smut about what happens when Deanna dies
and haunts Will. It's short, sweet and to the point.

---

Just as she had come into the world, she left it. No apparent reason
for her death, no word of explanation or goodbye. She just silently
slipped away, a peaceful expression across her beautiful face. It was
almost as if she knew she was going to die. When he had found her,
alone and still in her quarters, she was laying on her bed, dressed in
a lovely white dress, simple in design, but striking nonetheless. Her
hair was pinned up on her head except for a few strands loosely
draping across her face. Her feet had been bare, but in her hands, she
had held a leather bound book.

The book was filled with words of encouragement and love, written in
her flowery handwriting. There was no title, and it seemed to be a
journal of some type. Now as he stood in the pouring rain banging on
her mother's door, he was besieged by a million different emotions.
Love, fear, sorrow, regret, curiosity, anger . . .

Why had she left him? Why was she clutching that book? Why was she
dressed for death? What would become of him? How could he live without
her? Why did he wait so damn long to tell her he loved her?

His hot, bitter tears rolled down his cheeks like liquid fire, burning
his skin. The rain drops mixed with the tears, making them seem
combined. He couldn't tell where one started and the other began.

Finally, Mr. Homn threw open the door and stood looming over Will.

"Mr. Homn. Is Lwaxana here?" His voice sounded strange, cold and sad.
It cracked with more tears he had yet to shed. The butler moved to the
side and let Riker in.

The house itself was as beautiful as he remembered it to be. A bit
lavish, but still breathtaking. It was warm, and the temperature
change from the cold rain outside sent a shiver through him. He turned
to Mr. Homn, but the man was gone. Wiping away the last remnants of
his tears, Riker turned to find himself face to chest with the butler,
who was holding out towels to the drenched commander. Gratefully
taking one, Will dried his hair, face and neck with the soft downy
material. He thanked Mr. Homn and turned to the staircase. Slowly and
deliberately, he made his way up the elegant stairs and turned to
Lwaxana's room. He started to knock, but Lwaxana's voice greeted him
from behind the closed door.

"Come in, Will."

He turned the knob and opened it slowly, sliding in through the crack.
Lwaxana  lay on her bed, a box in front of her and a tiny smile on her
face. "I knew you'd come." He joined Lwaxana on the bed, neither
noticing or caring that he was drenched. She slid the box over to him,
and he took it, peering inside curiously. He wanted to pretend that
the items in the box had no effect on him. That seeing her things from
so long ago didn't pull on his heart. But he couldn't.

Lifting a piece of vine from the Jalara Jungle out of the small box,
he felt a tear slip down his cheek. He set it down on the bed beside
him and reached back in the box, pulling out the white headband she
had caught at Chandra's wedding. He held it up to his nose, inhaling
the faint scent of her hair that still rested there.

Ten minutes passed and everything had been emptied from the box. The
contents had been carefully placed beside him, memories of the past
twenty years lay scattered about on a bed on Betazed. While she lay in
a coffin in the Troi family mausoleum. His hands worked numbly as he
lifted the items back into the box. He turned his eyes back up to
Lwaxana, noticing for the first time how fatigued she looked.

"Lwaxana . . . can I go to her room?"

She stared at him quietly for a minute, her onyx eyes reminding him
too much of her daughter. Then she gave a slight inclination of her
head. "Of course. I'm sure the things you're truly looking for are in
there." He wasn't clear on what she was talking about, but he stood
silently and moved towards the door.

"Will." He turned around. "I know she loved you. More than anything
can ever show. Don't put too much into her material items. You were
her imzadi. Look at that. Trust in that. That's where

---

The rest of the day had been exhausting. After going over every inch
of Deanna's room on Betazed, he had transported back to the ship where
he had gotten nothing but sympathetic looks and forced-cheerful
chitchat from people he barely recognized. Beverly and the captain had
kept their distance, knowing he needed his time alone. The rest of the
crew had good intentions, but as each person passed, he missed her
more and more.

Finally alone in his quarters, Will sunk down onto his bed, draping an
arm over his eyes. It had been an hour since he'd cried, and he
couldn't decide if that was good or bad. Her face constantly floated
through his mind and every once and awhile he could have sworn her
smelled the faint scent of gardenias. He rolled over and smelled the
right pillow, hoping for a whiff of her scent. His fingers slipped
underneath and hit something solid. Curiously, he lifted the pillow to
see the leather bound book. He narrowed his eyes and picked it up, and
pulled himself into a sitting position.

"I thought this was with Beverly . . . " Had she brought it in and
slipped it there for him? That must be it. He flipped to the back,
expecting to find the last five pages blank, as they had been when
he'd last seen it. But the pages were full, and in Deanna's
handwriting. A shiver trailed down his spine as he read the words.


~ Will,

If you're reading this, than everything went as expected. Please don't
cry for me more than you already have. It was my time to go. Don't ask
why or how I knew, because you'll never find the answer. When you
found this book the first time, I was dead. Yes, I AM still dead, but
I was right about it being my time.

I don't know if I ever explained that to you. When a Betazoid dies, he
or she goes to the area of resting. If it was not their time to go,
they can come back to the living as a different person for 24 hours to
finish their business. If it was their time to go, they can come back
in whatever form they choose to say goodbye.

As you're reading this, I'm probably here. Yes. Here. In your room.
Don't freak out. I'll be leaving soon. I just wanted to let you know
that I love you and I will always be here. Look for me in your dreams,
and at night as you awake and think you're still dreaming. I'll be
there. Please know that I never wanted to hurt you. I saw your grief
when you found my body, but perhaps it will bring you some kind of
peace to know that I'm happy. And I did not take my own life. I would
never leave you willingly.

You are now and forever my Imzadi, even though I'm not her physically,
keep me in your heart as you will always be in mine. Stay safe and
I'll see you in your dreams . . .

I love you always,

Deanna~


He closed the book and his eyes darted around the room, wishing
desperately he could see her. If she had been right and she was still
there, he wanted to hold her. But all he saw was the monotony  of his
quarters. "Imzadi. If you're here . . . I love you and I'll never
forget you." He closed his eyes as he felt a warm breeze flutter over
him and stop on his lips. It felt soft and breezy . . . like a kiss
from a butterfly.

And then deep within his mind, he heard her sweet voice, a distant
echo. "I have to go. I love you . . . Imzadi . . ." And then the voice
was gone. He closed his eyes and let the smell of gardenias slowly
lull him onto the bed and into a deep sleep.

---

He couldn't be dreaming. It was too real to be a dream. She was there. 
Alive and visible. Just as beautiful as the last time he'd saw her. He 
started to speak, but she pressed a finger against his lips. "Ssh. No 
words tonight, my love. Just feeling."

And then a haunting melody filled his mind and she was close to him,
feeling as alive as ever. She was warm, and breathing on his neck, the
smell of her hair intoxicating him. He ran his hands down her body,
relishing every curve that he thought he'd never get to feel again.
And suddenly out of nowhere, the most beautiful bed appeared. It had
lavish purple blankets and fluffed pillows that matched the color of
her dress.

As they made love . . . him and his ghost lover. . . everything was as
perfect, even if only for one moment in time. He had her again, though
only at night.

---

Waking up each morning alone was the hardest part of all. After a
night full of passion and pure romance, he wanted to hold her close to
him as he greeted the day. But everytime he woke, he was greeted with
the scent of gardenias and a whispered promise in his mind: *I'll see
you in your dreams, my love . . .

---

The End