Wizarding Mulder by Bertie

Note: thanks so much to Laura for beta and the lovely pic:)

Crossover: XF and HP-not really canon in either fandoms

Warning: pure silliness, not meant to be taken seriously but I may continue this in future.

Mulder woke, as usual, in a fog after a long night of watching bad porn and old sci-fi movies. He stretched and groaned, shaking out the worst part of sleeping on his lumpy sofa. Then he froze. He caught on to the fact he wasn't in his apartment. In fact, his feet were protesting the coldness of the floor he stood upon. He shivered. It was cold, wherever he was, and he was only wearing jeans. It was also dark. He could barely make out the glowing embers of a dying fire in a fireplace not far from where he stood.

He wrapped his arms around his chest and nearly cried out from how hard his nipples had become in the cold. He went over to the fireplace, noticed a pile of wood, and placed one or two blocks on top of the embers.  He looked around for something to hasten the fire, but there was nothing. He tried blowing on the embers and, except for making them glow brighter; the wood blocks didn't catch fire. He sighed then decided to look around. Wherever he was, there were no windows and it was deathly quiet.

"Hoot."

He nearly jumped ten feet in the air. There, standing on what looked like a ledge on the other side of the room, for lack of a better word, was an owl. The owl's eyes glowed as it hooted again.

A figure opened one of the doors on the other side of the space Mulder inhabited and grumbled, "Shut up, blasted bird!"

The figure didn't notice Mulder and, moving toward the owl, picked up an object and threw it at the feathered predator. It missed by about 5 feet. Mulder chuckled. The figure jumped and turned to the half naked man standing two feet from him.

"Who the blazes are you?" growled the man; Mulder heard a distinct British accent.

"Um, I'm Fox Mulder, Special Agent of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. I don't know how I ended up in your living room..."

"You're an American Muggle," the man interrupted.

"I am American, but what's a Muggle?"

"A Muggle is a person who doesn't belong in my dungeons, that's what. Come with me. We shall have Dumbledore sort this out." When the man touched Mulder's arm, he gasped.

Mulder stared at him curiously. "I'm cold, sorry about that."

The man shook his head. "You're not a Muggle as I thought!"

"Huh? Look, if you could just tell me the directions out of here, you won't have a Muggle or whatever I am, in your dungeons anymore."

The man seemed to regard Mulder curiously and pulled a stick from his robes. Mulder put his arms out.

"Hey, I'm not armed...."

"No, but you *are* a wizard."

"A what?"

"A wizard. This is most vexing. Dumbledore shall have to sort you out. You couldn't possibly be a student so late in life."

"I'm not *that* old."

"The students of Hogwarts graduate when they are 17. Which makes me wonder how you came to be here in my dungeons, no less?"

Mulder wrapped his arms around himself, the chill getting to him. The man realized what the problem was and waved the stick in the direction of the fire and said something like 'Incindio.'  The hearth blazed forth a nice warmth and Mulder stepped back from it in awe.

"You did that? With that stick?"

"Hmph! It is NOT a stick; it is a wizard's wand."

"Like the Sorcerer's Apprentice?"

"No, like a wizard's wand, foolish boy."

"Oh." Mulder moved closer to the fire, and tried not to do anything sudden; afraid the guy would do something Mulder would regret.

"I'm Professor Severus Snape, Potions Master of Hogwarts."

"What's Hogwarts?"

"It's the best school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I've no idea what Dumbledore will do with you. Students are enrolled when they are 12."

"You claim I'm a wizard, but why should I become a student? I've never performed magic in my life. How can you tell I'm a wizard?"

Snape looked snidely at Mulder and snapped, "Because I'm a wizard!" as if that would answer any other questions Mulder may have.

Mulder just stared at the man, wondering what in the hell made him so angry. He clearly needed to get laid.

"Who's this Dumbledore you mentioned?" 

"He's the Headmaster of Hogwarts. A powerful man, though a silly dotard. He will undoubtedly know what to do with you. I'm already weary of your presence."

"No need to be offensive. I woke up from a night on my sofa, like normal, to find myself in your dungeons. Not exactly an ideal place to wake up."

Mulder was beginning to see why Snape was so angry. He would be too if he was forced to live in such a dark, dreary place.

"Hey, before we go off anywhere, can I get something to wear?" Mulder asked the frustrated man.

"Absolutely, and please do not call me "Hey"- address me as Professor Snape."

Mulder grinned. "Cool name, I thought my name was awful."

Severus glared and turned around abruptly to the closed door he'd previously exited. Mulder followed the man, interested in what the robe clad man would do next. The man didn't know what he was getting into allowing Mulder to enter his bedroom unattended by other FBI agents or cops.

The room was dark, except for the light from the fireplace. Mulder watched the wizard going through his closet. Mulder definitely liked the lithe form underneath the robe. He was certain if he peeled all the layers away, the man would look less intimidating but not less provocative.

"Here, I'm sure this will fit you. We are both of a similar build."

Mulder took the robe Snape offered. It was an exact copy of the robe the man wore.

"I guess you don't have anything else, huh? Especially Armani?" Looking at the thick wool garment.

"Is that something Muggle? Of course I wouldn't have it!"

"No reason to snap, Snape." Mulder grinned. 

Snape rolled his eyes. "How droll, Mr. Mulder. I've never heard that one before."

Mulder pulled on the robe and buttoned it, leaving a good portion of his chest in view.

"Would you please cover yourself more appropriately? There are children on this campus!"

"I had no idea prep schools had dungeons." Mulder pulled the robe more tightly on his frame and sighed wistfully.

"This isn't a prep school; it is a school of magic where we shape the minds and skills of future wizards. You, on the other hand, are far too old to attend the classes offered here."

"Hey, I never said I was taking classes, anyway. I've already had my first in Psychology at Oxford."

"Hmph! That does not impress me, young man."

"You couldn't be much older than me, Professor Snape."

Snape pondered Mulder. "Yes, definitely too old for Hogwarts."

"I'm only 36!" Mulder pouted, causing the exact opposite reaction Snape usually had when his students pouted. Snape's libido was stroked in a most unseemly fashion and his cock twitched. It had been a long time since he'd felt such unbidden attraction for someone.

"So you live here at the school?" Mulder interrupted Snape's internal musings. He had noticed the other man's curious gaze.

"Yes, but we really should see the headmaster. Come along." Snape, using his professor's voice, swept out of his rooms, hoping Dumbledore would sort it out and he wouldn't have to face the troubling American again. Mulder followed, curious where this X-File would take him.

It was still dark and quiet this early in the morning, but Snape cared less if he woke Dumbledore. He had a sneaking suspicion the old goat was involved in this debacle.

Mulder noticed the tapestries and how large the place was. It was clearly a castle or fortress of some kind. He could spend days roaming the grounds, exploring.

"Twizzlesticks," Snape growled once they reached the entrance to Dumbledore's office.

Dumbledore was sitting in his office, as if he were waiting for them.

"Albus, surely you can explain why I found this untrained wizard in my dungeons." Snape waved away the offer of lemon drops quickly, going straight to the point.

"Absolutely, Severus. Fox shall be your apprentice."

"What?! This is preposterous! I did not help defeat Voldemort just to become the keeper of stray apprentices!"

Mulder watched with interest, finding the headmaster Dumbledore quite intriguing. He definitely fit the role of wizard, while Snape looked more like a professor from the Victorian era.

"Your help was most appreciated, Severus, but there are always new forces at work to defeat. Fox is from America, where there is a grave threat to the planet far worse than the likes of our former enemy. He will need our help in honing the skills he has need of when the enemy strikes."

Severus wondered what could possibly be worse than Voldemort.

"So, I'm here to learn magic which will help me defeat the threat of possible alien invasion?"

Severus turned to Mulder in shock. "What? You're telling me there will be alien invasion? Dumbledore, I do believe this man needs a stay in St. Mugo's."

"Severus, please, that is no way to treat your apprentice." Dumbledore returned his attention to Mulder.

"Yes, the time away from your job has been explained to your superiors. No need to fear on that regard."

"Albus, I have classes. I will not have time to train an overly large student," Snape interrupted.

"Your classes are canceled for this week. You need to acclimatize your apprentice to his new surroundings."

"Very well, that seems reasonable. Where shall I place him?"

"Fox has no personal items, so I think staying with you would be the best solution for now."

Snape gasped. "He will have to stay with me?"

"Well, it would be most unseemly for a man so unfamiliar with his surroundings to wander around Hogwarts with students all about."

Severus grumbled under his breath that Dumbledore seemed to manage on his own all these years.

"Very well, I will do my best to prepare him for apprenticeship, Dumbledore."

"I knew I could count on you, Severus."

Snape really wished he could douse the twinkles from the old fart's eyes.

"Come along, Mr. Mulder. We have much to accomplish."

"This is most vexing." Snape looked at the American wizard-to-be and sighed. "If you would like, you can stay on the sofa. I, on the other hand, would love to sleep since it is gone midnight."

Mulder realized there was a time difference. It was late not morning. Damn, Mulder thought, I'm wide awake. "Do you have a TV?"

"TV? That is some barbaric Muggle invention? Of course not!"

"It's just that I was waking up and don't feel sleepy at all."

"If you must, here, read this. It will keep you busy for a good six hours, I'm sure."

Snape handed Mulder a large tome entitled Magic and Potions.

"It has a great introductory section for beginners. If you don't mind, I'd really like to rest. If you wish, when I wake, I will answer any questions you may have."

This was perfect for the experienced wizard. He wouldn't have to teach this man as he would pubescent youngsters.

"Now, if you'll excuse me..." Snape left Mulder sitting on his sofa with the book in his hand.
 

*****

Two days later

 
Mulder had finally accepted his fate and realized he could use his magical powers against the potential alien threat. Once he'd fully explained to Severus his history, the wizard was more appreciative of training him. Snape was a very good teacher and Mulder was learning quickly.

Next week Mulder would be trained by a few of the other professors who would teach him their specialty while Snape was back teaching his classes. 

"You are a most competent student, Mulder. I'll have to reevaluate Oxford for their skills at educating you."

Mulder grinned. As he worked and lived with Snape, he saw elements of his boss, Walter Skinner, in the sheer presence and authority both men held. He realized how much it was turning him on to be so close to someone like that every day.

As for Severus, he was seriously thinking about teaching at a university. At least the students would be interested in what he was teaching them. He was having much more fun with Mulder than any of his younger students. 

"You know, for someone who stays inside these dungeons, you certainly keep yourself fit." Mulder tried to engage the pensive Severus on the third day. The wizard was impossibly formal and Mulder was hoping to loosen him up a bit. 

"I do a lot of walking, Mulder." 

Mulder hmmed. He hadn't seen Severus exercise, but the school grounds were vast and there were probably plenty of places the professor could walk. Mulder had been running around the campus early in the morning before anyone else was up. 

He wished there was a pool he could swim in like at the Hoover, but he made do with running and learning the rules of Quidditch.

"Is there someplace to swim around here, Severus? I would die for a Speedo and a good 50 laps," he asked after returning from his run. 

Snape was busy gathering ingredients for a potion, and was distracted. He didn't correct his oldest student when he called him by his first name. Americans, he was finding out, were rather informal. Mulder was stepping closer and closer to him and Snape was at a loss for words. When Mulder was practically on top of Snape, he finally squeaked out, "No." He cleared his throat and said it again.

Snape's libido was snaking up as the man moved closer; Mulder's scent was ripe from his run. The other man was decidedly good looking, Snape had noticed. Sure, he had the long nose, but being proud of a prominent proboscis himself, the experienced wizard found it rather appealing. Mulder's certainly fit his face well. The fact he hadn't shaved the early morning fuzz over his jaw and angular chin seemed devastatingly sexy to Snape.

"A good brisk walk does the world of good, especially for our climes. We are not like the Americas where summer is practically all year round," Snape replied, hoping that this would stop the other man's forward behavior.

Mulder ignored Snape's mistaken comment. He'd been very good with the other man, doing his best to learn off Snape's expertise, which was formidable.

The surroundings of Hogwart's reminded Mulder so much of his time at Oxford. The fact he had several adventures as a student there, awakened his libido when he noticed that his professor was sexier than he first thought. He had an overwhelming desire to see that reserved, controlled man lose it.

"Hm," the word was practically caressed across Snape's face, that's how close they were. "I could think of many things we could be doing instead."

The suggestive leer in Mulder's eyes made Snape gulp from a sudden grip of unreasonable fear. The wizard sneered at the coward he'd become but the lustful look didn't leave Mulder's face.  There was no reason to fear the untrained wizard, Snape tried to reassure himself. The man couldn't hurt him most likely.

"Er, what are you doing, Mister Mulder?" Snape asked, trying to keep calm in his voice.

"Please call me Fox," Mulder said, his lips practically touching Snape's.

Snape had to admit, the other man's lips were tempting. The bottom lip begged to be nibbled, though he had previously done his best to ignore his reaction to that mouth.

"That name does suit you-" Mulder's mouth covered Snape's, cutting him off.

Snape was so shocked that his mouth opened to protest but the American's tongue thrust in it. Snape couldn't help but touch the teasing flesh with his own, and soon they were exploring each other's mouths thoroughly.

When Mulder finally pulled away slightly, to breathe more calmly, Snape puffed out, "That's the first time I've ever kissed a student." He paused, to collect himself. "I don't think this is a good idea, Fox. I'm your professor and Hogwart's has rather strict rules about fraternizing."

Mulder just looked askance at the other man as if Snape were pulling his leg.

"I'm well over the age of consent, Severus, if you hadn't noticed. The rules couldn't possibly apply to me. I'm not being graded for my performance."

"Be that as it may, I do believe-"

Mulder pressed his cloth covered erection against Snape's thigh. Snape's train of thought derailed. A frisson of lust shot through the wizard, and Mulder was drawn to those dark eyes that reminded him of Skinner's.

"So how long has it been for you, Professor?" Mulder asked while pressing himself closer, moving his arm around Snape's waist.

"Too long," he rasped, before pressing Mulder's lips to his own, wanting to taste that mouth again.

Snape was too experienced to be timid about his desires, so he charged full steam ahead, taking over what the gangly American started. In no time, their hands were everywhere and their clothes were being pulled away.

They shivered in delight once their bare skin touched.

"Damn, what a body to hide under all these clothes, Severus," Mulder murmured.

Mulder's eyes slid over the long, lean and pale Severus, whose dark hair seemed to bring out the luminescence of his skin.

Severus grinned ferally. He could almost feel that gaze against his skin and said, "You, my dear Fox, are beautiful and I think you know it too well."

Mulder realized how much power that lean exterior held when he was practically picked up and bodily taken into Severus's bedroom.

Severus was too lust-ridden to take note how pale he was next to the golden hued beauty, but he certainly appreciated how delicious the man felt and tasted. He straddled the sprawled body laid out on the bed and, using his tongue, lips and hands, he mapped out the body beneath him thoroughly. The appreciative sounds were most enjoyable, keeping a steady thrum of excitement through him. 

Mulder loved every moment his body was teased and explored by the professor. Severus focused with intensity. When that focus finally surrounded his dick, Mulder cried out but gripped the sheets to keep from thrusting deep within that hot wetness. That mouth pulled back after letting the tip of Mulder's cockhead touch his throat several times. Then a snakelike tongue lapped up and down Mulder's shaft.

"Mmm." The hum caused Mulder to groan loudly. "Even your willy is beautiful, Fox."

Mulder nearly laughed out loud at the use of such an innocuous term for his penis. He'd just have to rename Roger to Willy. When that mouth sucked in one of his testicles, his eyes rolled back into his head, forgetting completely the whole name change.

The tongue went back and lapped up and down his shaft then down to the other testicle, which was thoroughly explored. Mulder's fingers were cramping from his grip of the sheets. He was desperate but he wanted to take it like a man, to show the wizard he was capable of - "AH!"

Severus had mumbled something like 'scourgify' and a tingly sensation ran up his sphincter. Hot, wet tongue lapped Mulder's anus and he panted from the sensations.

"OH god!" Mulder groaned when that tongue pierced his loosening flesh.

A finger was inserted and then that mouth covered Mulder's erection. Just as his balls were drawing up, ready to release their load, that mouth pulled away.

Mulder looked down, a question in his eyes, at Severus.

"May I?"

"Fuck me."

Severus grinned, then muttered, "Lubricato."

An odd sensation rippled through Mulder's backside. Mulder gripped the back of his legs and spread himself wide for Severus, desperate to feel the wizard inside him. He hadn't mentioned it to Snape, but it had been a while for him too. Masturbating to fantasies about one's boss didn't count.

Snape had to hold himself steady. He wanted to jump on Fox's open and willing body, but he held himself back. He was going to savor this. For too long he'd been without and he was going to make this last.

After mumbling a simple withholding spell, he gripped his erection and brought it to Fox's backside. Fox wiggled his hips, impatiently.

Severus nipped at one of Fox's toes. "Be still, please." His tone started out like a typical Snape command but ended in a whine.

Fox held himself still, wondering if he should take a nap while waiting for the big wizard to finally fuck him.

When the head of Severus's cock finally breached Fox's anus, Fox angled his hips slowly, helping ease the thick flesh inside him. He didn't want to frighten this catch if he could help it.

Severus let Fox wrap his legs around him when he finally seated himself completely. He bent down and kissed those sexy lips, teasing them with his tongue and teeth, just savoring being inside the other man.

Fox resigned himself to this, enjoying the closeness but desperate to get fucked.

Severus's hands ran up and down Fox's body, loving the silky, golden skin. The purr that induced was delicious.

Mulder thrust his tongue in and out of Severus's mouth, trying to express what he desired elsewhere. Finally Severus got a clue, and slowly rocked his hips, sending shivers throughout Mulder's body.

Grasping Mulder's lean hips, Severus pushed deeper inside the snug heat. A sweet keening sound poured forth from Fox.

Mulder arched his back, enjoying the sensations of Severus inside him.  That only spurred the other man on, increasing the speed of Severus's thrusts. He realized he was moaning 'Oh yeah, oh yeah' continuously.

Severus was so wrapped up in fucking the exotic American that he hardly had a chance to savor this. If he dwelled on it, he would realize this may be just a short interlude before another long, dry spell. Yet in the back of his mind, he sensed it. He savored every sound, every touch, every taste of this coupling, hoping it would keep him warm for the many nights without anyone to share it with.

Just as Snape's fingers clasped his erection, Mulder realized what he must do. He was marking his territory and when it came time, he would stake his claim on this wizard. The man wouldn't refuse him. Severus would have to join him in his endeavors.

Mulder gasped when Snape angled his hips just right then tensed as he spurt over the hand gripping him. In a delicious, unconscious moment, Mulder floated in post orgasmic bliss.  He wasn't aware at all of Severus reaching his peak and collapsing fully on his boneless body.

Mulder lay under the other man, content with the weight atop him. He missed this - the closeness of being with another human being. He hadn't allowed anyone to get close for many reasons over the years except for Scully. She was the only one left he could trust.

With his new magical ability, he would be better able to do what he'd wanted to do for years. To expose the collaborators with the aliens and the conspiracy to keep it from the American people. It had been always his goal, besides finding the truth about his sister.
 
With the help of Snape and other wizards, he would be able to do just that.