Archive of Our Own ^beta

This story came about from television scheduling here in Australia. One channel put The Sentinel on at 11:00 Tuesday nights, and another put reruns of Models Inc (with Robert Beltran), on at 12:00 Tuesday nights. This started me thinking about Chakotay and Blair, (well, if they will put two of my favourite guys on one after the other, it's no wonder I start to have wicked, evil thoughts about them together (g)) and then I noticed how similar Blair's and Tom's gorgeous blue eyes were, and I started thinking...so we have this story. Myrna also helped to point this out to me by using the same phrase to describe Tom's and Blair's eyes in her stories Perfect Timing and The Wall. Speaking of which, considering the many writers who write both Voyager and Sentinel Slash, it surprises me that there hasn't been a Voyager/Sentinel crossover before now. Oh, well, I always wanted to be a pioneer (g).

BTW, this is the first time I've posted a story without a song I've used in the story serving as the title, as I wasn't going to use a song this time (and ended up using THREE (g)). I challenge the readers to decide what the title means, it will be referred to indirectly in the story ;-). Actually, there are two possible meanings. I had a very specific meaning for the title, but now I've finished the story, there is possibly a second meaning. Wonder if anyone will get both (G)?

Comments and feedback welcome (and craved). No flames about my taste in music (even though it is country music) please. Please post comments or email to the above addy.

It's also my first crossover attempt, outside of the Trek universe, as well as my first attempt at a slightly longer story. Lots of firsts (g). This is a theory of mine involving both shows. As it's a crossover, it involves time travel. Please don't ask for technobabble-ish explanations, Chakotay finds a wormhole that leads to Earth, unfortunately it's 20th Century Earth. That's it. The Eugenics War happened, but it's over by now. Hey, maybe that's what Jim was doing in Peru? Fighting Khan? Who knows, right? Did anyone notice that they didn't even MENTION the Eugenics War in Future's End? And supposedly it had just ended at that time. You'd think that someone would have asked if it was still going on, wouldn't you? The motorcycle was inspired by Yvonne McCool's Dancing series.

Characters copyrighted by Paramount and Pet Fly Productions, used without permission. Story copyrighted April/May 1997 by Joanne Collins. Although I SWORE I wasn't going to use a song, Garth Brooks' song We Shall Be Free is also used without permission, it just seemed to fit (and thanks to the writer of the filk to I Like It, I Love It for saying that Blair plays guitar (g)). Chris Isaak's songs Don't Leave Me On My Own and There She Goes from his album Forever Blue are also not mine, so they are also used without permission.

I give my permission for this story to be archived at the ASC archives. It may also be posted to BLTS. It is also to be posted at R'Rain's archive. It may also be posted to SENAD and archived at the Sentinel Slash Archive. Please don't distribute elsewhere except for personal archiving. Do feel free to share the story with friends, just keep my name and the headers on it.

The setting is sometime after Future's End for Voyager, and Season Two-ish for The Sentinel.

Angst? Yes, but only a little. Mush? Oh, yes. I don't think I could write without it (g).

Spoilers for Basics, Resolutions, Investigations, The Chute and Future's End. Nothing for The Sentinel.

Dedicated to Little Eva, who very kindly allowed me to mention her character, Nia, Blair's daughter, from her story An Orphan Girl No More, and to Myrna, for the original inspiration.

A Debt Repaid

by Joanne Collins

First Officer's Personal Log

It has been a year since I performed the Pakra ritual for my father. I must now perform the final part of that ritual. Captain Janeway has been generous enough to allow me the use of a shuttlecraft once again, probably in part because we have cleared Kazon space at last. I have noticed some unusual readings in the system nearby, after I complete the ritual I will investigate them, to see if they are a potential danger or benefit to Voyager.

Chakotay clicked off the tricorder he was using to record his log, and began the complex preparations necessary to perform the ritual. This was a private moment, and he was relieved that Captain Janeway had allowed him the use of a shuttlecraft once again, especially after the fiasco a year ago when he had lost the previous one in an encounter with the Kazon Ogla. He thought back to that time as he continued the preparations, and remembered that most of the momentous events in the past year had not even been thought of. His face darkened as he recalled being kidnapped by Seska, who had claimed to have impregnated herself with his DNA, which had turned out to be another lie, although Chakotay did acknowledge that that particular lie had not been a deliberate one.

Seska, the woman he had thought he knew, had loved at one time. She was dead now, and still had the power to affect him, Chakotay thought as he remembered the time when Seska had kidnapped Tom Paris, who had been working undercover to expose a spy on Voyager who was working for Seska. The anger he still felt over that situation was finally beginning to recede, and he knew that it had not been a slur on his integrity that he had not been told. Chakotay shook his head, and smiled, thinking that he would never have thought this way before being out here. But there were a lot of things that were different out here, he thought.

Chakotay collected his wandering thoughts, and began the ritual, going through the unfamiliar steps of the tradition that was so important to him now.

When Chakotay had completed the beautifully simple ritual, he sat back and let his thoughts roam free in a way that he rarely had the chance to do on Voyager. He thought of the recent trouble with the Akritirians, and how Voyager had almost lost Tom Paris and Harry Kim. He thought of how relieved he had been when Captain Janeway and Lieutenant Tuvok had reported that both officers were safely back on the ship. How relieved he had been to know that Tom Paris was all right. That was the time he'd noticed his feelings for Tom changing yet again.

Chakotay stretched his body, the ritual and his thinking had left his muscles locked in one position for a little too long. He got up, and ordered some herbal tea from the replicator. The shirt and trousers he wore fluttered loosely around his body. As he sipped the tea, he walked toward the front of the shuttle, and touched the controls, changing course to investigate the unusual readings he had noticed earlier. Like all of Voyager's crew, when he was away from the ship he kept an eye out for anything that just might help them get home, and the readings he had noticed could be indicative of the presence of a wormhole. As he came closer to the source of the readings, he realized that it was indeed a wormhole, and he prepared a probe to send through it.

Almost an hour later, the probe was through the wormhole. Chakotay kept an eye on the readings, and he realized almost immediately that it was indeed in the Alpha Quadrant. Chakotay was quietly anticipatory, but he didn't hail Voyager, wanting to be sure. He launched a message buoy to Voyager, telling Janeway that he was taking the shuttle through the wormhole to check it's stability. He smiled ruefully as he thought of Janeway's reaction to his doing this, but he knew it was what she would do herself, and he knew that if Tom Paris were in his position that he would probably already be through the wormhole, or maybe not, he thought, acknowledging that Tom probably wasn't quite that impetuous any more.

Tom Paris had changed a lot since being on Voyager, thought Chakotay. He had never trusted him back in the Maquis, and it had taken almost a year for him to trust him on Voyager. Trust was one thing, but he'd thought that perhaps he and Tom were on the way to becoming friends before Tom had become increasingly insubordinate and cavalier in his attitude towards his duty. Chakotay had been disappointed in him, thinking he'd let Captain Janeway down. Chakotay remembered the feeling of relief that he hadn't been wrong about Tom when the Captain and Tuvok had told him about the ruse, which had almost overshadowed his feelings of anger at being left out Chakotay had felt extremely relieved when Tom had returned safely, almost being killed by Seska and the Kazon before he returned to the ship. Chakotay had wanted to talk to Tom after that, his feelings for the lieutenant having gone through more changes than he would have ever thought possible, but there had just never been the right opportunity for him to sort out his own feelings, let alone discussing them with Tom. Although his feelings for Tom were still tangled, Chakotay knew that they were more than just simple friendship. He wasn't even sure if he was attracted to him, or if it was just deep feelings of gratitude and friendship, much like he felt towards B'Elanna. Chakotay sighed, and promised himself that as soon as he had a spare half hour, he was going to lock himself in his cabin, and sort out his feelings for Tom Paris once and for all.

With that decision made, Chakotay readied the shuttle to pass through the wormhole, thinking that if the wormhole did indeed turn out to be a way back to the Alpha Quadrant, both he and Tom would have much more important things on their minds than Chakotay's feelings for Tom.

It seemed to take a long time to go through the wormhole, but to Chakotay's surprise, when he checked the chronometer, it had only taken fifteen minutes.

As the shuttle emerged from the wormhole, Chakotay noticed a moon. He realized after a shocked moment that it was Earth's moon, and that Earth was just visible below it. There was something odd, though, but Chakotay couldn't put his finger on it. Then it hit him, there was no spacecraft, none at all, except for his shuttle. This near to Earth's moon, there should have been a great deal of space traffic. Chakotay began long-range scans, and found still more anomalies in the readings. There were things that should be there that weren't and things that were there that shouldn't be. In fact, Chakotay thought, there were so many anomalous readings, he needed to check whether this was in fact Earth, or a very similar planet.

Chakotay began running tests, everything he could think of, and still the strange readings persisted. He eventually began a log entry in frustration.

"Stardate 50075.6-"

He was cut off by the computer: "Incorrect stardate."

"Stardate 50075.7-"

"Incorrect stardate."

"Then what the bloody hell is the correct bloody stardate!?" Chakotay thundered. He was getting tired of this.

"Unable to confirm stardate. Earth calendar date is September 15, 1996."

"WHAT?!?!?"

"Earth calendar date is September 15, 1996."

"That would explain the lack of space traffic, and the anomalous readings. I presume that this wormhole is similar to the one we located two years ago, only larger and more stable." A thought struck Chakotay, and he scanned the wormhole's entrance. "Gods, no." The entrance had disappeared. Chakotay ran some more scans, and they indicated that the wormhole would open again in approximately a week, although it could be anything from two days to three months.

Chakotay sighed, "Well, I can't stay here for that long. I'll have to beam down and find somewhere to stay. I'm just glad the Eugenics War is over. Thank the gods for that time a few months ago! I never thought I'd say that. I guess I can get along for that amount of time without causing a temporal crisis. I wish Paris were here, he knows a lot more than I do about this time. Gods, I never thought I'd say that either."

Chakotay moved the shuttle to remain in orbit behind the moon, and set the computer to monitor the wormhole entrance. He programmed it to give him a ten-minute warning before transport, so he would have a chance to make sure he was alone before being transported.

Chakotay ran scans of North America, it was the place he would be most likely to be able to blend into for the time he would be stranded in this time. He thought it might be a good idea not to go back to the places he'd visited when he was here before, as he didn't want to run the risk of meeting some of the people he and the others had met then, for instance, what would he say to Raine Robinson if she asked about Tom? He eventually decided on an area called Washington, and he found some woods near a city called Cascade, which seemed to be fairly large, but not huge like San Francisco or New York. He set the transporter coordinates.

"Energize."

And he was caught in the beam of the transporter. He materialized in a clearing. Although Chakotay hadn't checked the time when he beamed down, he could tell by the position of the sun that it was early morning. He knew that he was only a few kilometers out of the city, and as he had replicated some twentieth-century money, he would walk there and find a hotel to stay in.

He began walking, finding a trail that he hoped would eventually lead to a road. He walked for approximately ten kilometers according to the tricorder, which, other than his combadge, was the only piece of technology he had brought with him. He eventually found a dirt road, which he followed for another six kilometers, finding a paved road eventually. Chakotay began walking along it, as there did not seem to be any movement along it, if he recalled correctly, 'cars' travelled along roads in this time period. He was not, unfortunately, aware that smaller vehicles also occupied the roads of this time period, and did not hear the motorcycle coming up behind him until it was too late.

Luckily, the rider was skilled, and managed to avoid running over Chakotay. Unfortunately, he was not skilled enough to avoid colliding with him.

"Oh, man!" Blair Sandburg exclaimed, stopping the cycle and removing his helmet. He ran over to the man he'd hit, and began checking him for injuries. He was unconscious, and Blair didn't want to move him, in case he was seriously injured. He could see a lump on the big man's head, that was obviously the cause of his unconsciousness, and Blair noticed that he had a tribal tattoo on his forehead, although he didn't recognize the tribe. His arms seemed okay, and there were no obvious injuries to his chest area or stomach. His left leg was uninjured, but his right leg was bent at an unnatural angle. It wasn't swollen enough to be broken, but Blair would have bet the tenure he dreamed of holding that the ankle was sprained. Blair didn't think his back or neck were injured, but he didn't want to risk moving him just yet. Blair thanked God for his cellular, and called an ambulance. The operator told him not to move the guy, just in case.

Blair placed his jacket over the man, and began looking around him to see if he'd dropped anything. He could see a strange electronic thing, that he picked up, but couldn't work out what it was. Blair put it in his pocket anyway, "it might be important", he thought, "though I don't know what it is".

Chakotay stirred, then yelped in pain.

"Don't try to move, there's an ambulance on the way. Man, I am so sorry."

Chakotay opened his eyes, and looked into very familiar eyes.

"Tom?" His voice was a hoarse whisper.

"No, I'm Blair Sandburg. Can you tell me your name?"

"Chakotay. You don't look like Tom, anyway."

"Who is Tom?"

"A...friend. Your eyes are exactly like his."

"Do you know where you are?"

"I was heading for Cascade."

"Ok, I'm not exactly qualified to judge, but I don't think you've got a concussion, and you don't seem to have any trouble remembering. I'm so sorry, man. I really didn't mean to hit you."

"My fault for walking on a public road."

"Is there anyone I can call for you in Cascade?"

Chakotay chuckled softly, and said, "No, thank you."

"I...if you like I can come to the hospital with you."

"I'd like that, Mr Sandburg. Thank you."

"It's Blair, and you're welcome. I feel like it's my fault."

"Please, don't blame yourself. I don't think it's that bad."

The ambulance came into view, escorted by a police car. A tall man with a military haircut jumped out of the police car.

"Sandburg, are you all right?"

"Yeah, Jim. I hit this guy."

"WHAT??"

"It was an accident. He just stepped out in front of me."

"Only you, Sandburg, could go out for a quiet motorcycle ride, and hit someone. Are you sure you'll cope all right while I'm on this undercover case?"

"Let's get to the hospital. Can you get someone to return this motorcycle. I don't trust myself on it again, and I want to go with Chakotay in the ambulance."

"Chakotay?"

"That's his name. It's Indian."

"Ok. I'll take it back for you, then."

"Thanks Jim," and Blair climbed into the ambulance.

Two hours later, Blair and Jim were sitting in the waiting room of the ER, when the doctor came to them.

"The patient is going to be fine. He has a sprained ankle, and a rather nasty head contusion, but that's all. He can go home tomorrow, but he says he's got nowhere to stay."

"We've been...discussing that," Jim replied.

"We'll let you know before we leave," added Blair, "Can we see him?"

"One at a time. He's still a bit disoriented. Kept asking me if I was sure I knew what I was doing."

Blair went ahead, leaving Jim to talk a little more with the doctor.

"Hey, the doctor tells me you're going to be all right," he said, hesitatingly, standing at the door of Chakotay's room.

"Thanks for staying, Blair."

"Hey, no problem. Listen, the doc said you had nowhere to go tomorrow."

"It's fine, I'll go to a hotel."

"The doc said you shouldn't be alone. My roommate, Jim, he's a cop, and he's going on...vacation tomorrow for six weeks. We've discussed this, would you like to stay with me for a while? I'd really like the company."

"I don't know...""Please, I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you because of me, and believe me, I'll know, the hospital's got my number."

"All right. Thank you, Blair."

"You're welcome. See you tomorrow."

When Blair came to the hospital the next day, he found Chakotay getting dressed. He was buttoning his shirt, and Blair almost gasped. He hadn't realized yesterday how attractive Chakotay was, he'd been too concerned about everything else, but now he had a chance to see him in a different light, he realized that Chakotay's bronze skin, dark eyes and broad shoulders were a very attractive package.

"The next few days could be very interesting," thought Blair.

Chakotay noticed Blair then, and had a similar reaction to Blair's long brown hair, slender but muscular build and blue eyes.

"My time here could be more intriguing than I thought. Oh, gods, I just realized, I don't know what happened to my tricorder. Should I ask Blair? He's the only other person who might know."

"Blair, did you see an electronic device anywhere near me when the accident happened?"

"Oh, that thing. Yeah, I took it home last night. It's back at the apartment. What is it?"

"Uh, part of a research project. I can't tell you any more, I'm sorry."

"Hey, no problem. I completely understand confidential research. I'm an anthropologist."

"Really? That must be interesting. What peoples have you studied?"

"Quite a few. I've done a lot of work on the Peruvian tribes. I'm sure you'll understand that I can't discuss it any further. Now, let's get you out of here, and back to the apartment, or we'll miss Jim."

Chakotay looked at the stick the hospital had kindly supplied him with in such a disgusted way, Blair couldn't help laughing.

"Don't blame you. Those things are so 'I'm an old man,' aren't they? If you like, I'll help you."

"Thanks Blair," Chakotay moved forward, favouring his right leg, wincing when he put too much weight on it. Blair grabbed his right arm, putting it over his shoulders, and Chakotay was aware of the muscular warmth under his clothes.

"Oh, it has been far too long," thought Chakotay, thinking of his last male lover, a classmate at the Academy.

"Oh, man, he feels so good," thought Blair. He'd only had one male lover, in college, but that had been a wonderful experience. He sometimes wondered about Jim, but he thought Jim was totally hetero, and he didn't want to jeopardize the Sentinel project. He wondered if Chakotay might be "open to the possibility" as Naomi would put it.

Blair was so occupied with his thoughts that he didn't realize they were at Jim's truck until Chakotay asked him. "Blair, I think we need keys to get in, don't we?"

"Sorry, man, I was just...distracted."

Chakotay refrained from saying anything to that, as he had been 'distracted' also.

After helping Chakotay into the truck with the minimum of difficulty, Blair walked around to the driver's side and started the engine.

The drive back to the apartment was uneventful. Blair didn't like to talk when he drove, so he tuned the radio to a classic rock station. They got back to the apartment to see Jim walking out with a suitcase.

"I'd like to take him to the airport. Will you be all right alone for a couple of hours?"

"Yes, I'll be fine, Blair. Go ahead."

"Thanks. I could be a little longer, I kind of need to stop at the university as well."

"That's fine. I could cook dinner if you like, that will save you having to rush."

"Thanks, Chakotay. That would be great." Blair headed inside to fetch some books he needed.

Chakotay hadn't offered to do this entirely out of the goodness of his heart, he really wanted some time to familiarize himself with the unfamiliar household items that were commonplace in this century but unheard of or antiquated in his. He remembered the nurse's shock the previous evening when he hadn't known what the 'television' was.

"Detective Ellison, thank you for allowing me to stay for a few days."

"You're welcome, and if I'm going to call you Chakotay, please call me Jim."

"All right. Thank you Jim."

"To be honest, I'm glad he won't be alone. In my line of work, you never know when some lunatic might take it into his head to attack your partner, especially if they find out he's alone." Chakotay knew from the expression on Ellison's face that he was thinking of a specific incident.

"Yes, I suppose that could be a concern. I'll only be here a few days, though."

"It will still help. Would you like me to help you inside?"

"Thank you, I can manage. Enjoy your vacation."

"Thanks. Chakotay...take care of Blair for me."

"Does he know?"

"Know what?"

"How you feel about him."

"Is it that obvious?"

"I know what it's like, to be in love with someone who you rely on too much for something else. You can't tell them how you feel because you'll jeopardize the relationship you already have."

"Is there someone you feel that way about?"

"There was. But there was a time, when we weren't working together, that we might have had a chance at a relationship. When it didn't happen then, I think we both knew it would never happen. She was my superior, as well, which didn't help. I think I have an idea of what that was like now."

"Now?"

"There's someone I work above. I have...feelings for him, but I don't know what they are."

"It's not easy, is it? I'm actually quite relieved to have a chance to consider this on my own."

"I wish you luck, Jim."

"Thanks, Chakotay. The same to you."

Blair came out, carrying a large pile of books.

"Chakotay, there's plenty of food in the fridge. Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"Blair, I'll be fine. The swelling is starting to go down already."

"Okay. Ready, Jim?"

"Yeah. Well, goodbye, Chakotay."

"Goodbye Jim. I hope I see you again."

Chakotay was relieved to find that most of the electronic appliances in the apartment were easy to operate, although he shook his head over the wasted resources of this time. But he couldn't do anything to change things, apart from it being impossible for one man to do that, it would be a violation of the Prime Directive, which applied to all pre-warp civilizations, even Earth.

There was a part of Chakotay that simply rejoiced in being home again, even though it was almost five hundred years in the past, he still felt that connection with the earth and sky spirits who were eternal. Chakotay thought again of how much he had changed, since his father's death and the things he had seen in the Maquis and on Voyager, and wondered how much more he would change before he saw Earth again, if he ever did. He knew that a lot of the crew of Voyager had virtually given up hope of ever getting back home, and had started making their lives on Voyager. Many people had settled down, started relationships, and were even considering having children, indeed Ensign Wildman had an unending supply of voluntary babysitters, many of whom joked about 'getting practice'. But since that time a few months ago, Chakotay had realized what they were working for, and although he was prepared for the possibility that this might be the last time he saw Earth, he would never give up hope of returning one day.

Chakotay saw his tricorder lying on a table, Blair must have left it out for him. He didn't want to have to face Captain Janeway with the explanation of why he'd left it back here, especially after the whole debacle with Henry Starling, although a tricorder was hardly a twenty-ninth century ship, but still...

He investigated the refrigerator, and found the ingredients for Irish stew. He started the preparation, chopping vegetables and meat, adding herbs and spices, putting the whole thing in a huge pot to cook. Once that was accomplished, Chakotay was alone with his thoughts. He considered the very real possibility that he might be stranded here forever, a man out of time, more lost than he'd ever been on Voyager, and was surprised to note that the prospect was not entirely unpleasant. Oh, given the choice, he wanted to go back to Voyager, and eventually to Earth, but if this was what the gods had planned for him, then he would make the best of it. He continued looking around the apartment, respecting Blair and Jim's privacy by not opening any closed doors, deciding to wait for Blair's return before taking a shower. He picked up a book that was lying on an end table, and began leafing through it. It turned out to be a book about Mayan Indians, and Chakotay was fascinated by the detail the author had gone into, the traditions were very similar to his own people's, and he became so engrossed that he didn't hear Blair return, and was startled when he spoke.

"Chakotay, I'm sorry, I was longer than I thought I'd be."

Chakotay realized that it was growing dark, he'd been sitting there reading for almost three hours.

"It's all right Blair. I was so interested in this book, I had no idea it was so late. Oh, gods, the stew!"

Chakotay limped to the kitchen as quickly as he could manage, Blair trying to get him to slow down, and was greeted by a curtain of smoke. The stew was burnt beyond repair.

Blair began to laugh, and, after a moment, Chakotay did too, it really was rather amusing.

"So much for Irish stew," Chakotay grimaced as he opened the lid of the pot.

"It's OK, we'll send out for pizza or Chinese. Now get back to the living room and sit down, Chakotay, or you'll do some kind of permanent damage to your ankle."

Chakotay let himself be led back to the couch, half expecting Blair to slap his wrist, the way he was talking. It was oddly comforting to be fussed over this way, in his position of responsibility on Voyager, he was more often the one making sure everyone else was all right, which on a ship of 150 crew members was almost a full-time job in itself. Not that he would complain, but he was starting to remember just how nice it was to just let someone else take care of you.

"Blair?"

"Yes, Chakotay?"

"Thank you. It's been a long time since someone's tried to take care of me like this."

"Really? Are you one of those execs who literally burns the candle at both ends?"

"Yes, actually, but how could you know?"

"Hey, you've got some kind of experimental device, you're working in research, and, trust me, there's no way that you're some isolated mad scientist or inventor. Simple deduction."

Chakotay realized that he and Blair were talking about two totally different things, and decided to change the subject.

"Very clever, Blair. I'd really like to take a shower before we order dinner if that's all right."

"Sure, no problem. Bathroom's the last door at the end of the hall," and as Chakotay got shakily to his feet, Blair added, "And take it slow!"

"Yes, doctor," Chakotay replied, teasingly.

Blair's laughter followed him down the hallway.

Chakotay sighed as he slipped out of his clothes. He wished that he'd thought to replicate some more before beaming down, but he had thought that he would buy them, and the clothes he had been wearing were innocuous enough to pass unnoticed by people of this time. Ah, well, at least he'd be able to get his body clean, he thought.

He stepped under the shower, enjoying the feeling of the hot water. He didn't hear Blair's knock, and almost slipped over when he heard a gasp behind him. He turned, and looked through the glass of the shower stall at Blair, who was holding a white terrycloth robe, and looking at him with such need that it took his breath away. Almost without realizing it, he turned the water off, and stepped out, reaching out for a towel on the way. He began to dry himself, never losing eye contact with Blair.

"I-I thought you'd need something to change into," Blair began, hesitantly.

"Blair...thank you."

"You've only got the clothes you were wearing, and I think this will fit you, it's pretty big on me."

Chakotay took the robe and slipped it on, Blair had been right, it did fit him comfortably. He looked again at Blair, seeing the need and desire he felt mirrored in his eyes. Chakotay couldn't stop himself, he stepped forward, still favouring his right leg, and pulled Blair toward him. Blair met him unresistingly, and lifted his face toward Chakotay's. Chakotay wondered for a moment if he should stop, he knew Jim was in love with Blair, and he still didn't know what he felt toward Tom, but then Blair gave a small moan, and Chakotay couldn't do anything but pull Blair closer. He kissed him, gently at first, then Blair opened his mouth, and Chakotay slid his tongue inside, meeting Blair's, and their tongues mimicked the actions of lovemaking, thrusting together heatedly. Chakotay pulled back, gently, to a moan of protest from Blair.

"Blair, I want this, gods, so much, but I think we need to talk first. Please..." he trailed off, as Blair looked so disappointed he just wanted to take him in his arms and comfort him - before ripping his clothes off and making passionate love to him.

"Yeah, you're probably right. But there's a part of me that just wants to say what the hell, let's go into the bedroom right now and deal with the rest tomorrow."

Chakotay laughed, he couldn't help it, and replied, "But, Blair, I don't know about you, but I'm going to faint if I don't get something to eat, and I certainly wouldn't want to faint at a...crucial moment. But there's a part of me that wants to do that too."

Blair left the bathroom, leaving Chakotay alone to consider the implications of a relationship with him.

"I want this. I truly do. But is it fair of me to do this when I could literally be gone tomorrow, back to my own time? What might it do to Blair? And I can hardly tell him the truth. Not to mention that I know damn well that Jim's in love with Blair. Even though he's not here, I feel like I'm betraying what they could have...and maybe what Tom and I could have," Chakotay thought, tormentedly, "But, what about what Blair and I could have? I like him, very much, and if I am stuck here, I could have a relationship with him, so easily. I'm going to talk to him, and make my decision after he tells me what he wants. I'd like to tell him how Jim feels, but it's not my place to do that. But at least I can find out how he feels about Jim."

Chakotay walked out of the bathroom, heading back slowly towards the living room, smiling as Blair came over to him to help him.

"I found enough food in the fridge to make dinner, after all, if soup's okay," Blair remarked as he settled Chakotay on the couch.

"Sounds good," Chakotay smiled at him.

"Don't get up, I'll bring it in here. Jim'd kill me, so don't tell him, okay?"

"Okay."

Chakotay picked up the glass of red wine Blair had placed on the table beside him and took a sip. It was delicious, and Chakotay sighed appreciatively. Synthehol just didn't taste the same, and he didn't care for the moonshine some of the Maquis made on Voyager, so it had been a long time since he'd enjoyed a drink as much as this. "Maybe it's the company," he thought.

Blair came out of the kitchen bearing two steaming bowls. He placed them on the coffee table, putting a cloth down first, and Chakotay smiled.

"Tomato soup?"

"My favourite. Hot, plain tomato soup. I could live on it."

"You and Tom."

"Tom? The guy you thought I was when you woke up after I hit you?"

"Yes. He...works with me."

"A friend, you said."

"Perhaps more. I'm honestly not quite sure how I feel about him."

"Is that why you stopped me, in the bathroom?""Partly. I think it's one of the things we need to talk about. Another is that we've only just met."

"Haven't you ever wanted someone you've just met?"

"Yes, but I've never acted on it. Not until we got to know each other."

"How long does that take?"

"There's no set limit. In the past it's been anything from five hours to five years."

"Five years? Uh, I don't think I want to wait quite THAT long, no matter how attractive I find you, Chakotay."

"Well, I don't think I'll be here that long, so I suggest we talk, and get to know each other. I'm assuming that I wouldn't be your first male lover?"

"I've had one other, when I was in college. He was a good friend, although we didn't get along at first. We were together for a year, then he was transferred. Last I heard, he was getting married. That was six years ago."

"Anyone since? That you'd have considered?"

"No, not really. Well, except for Jim. But I don't think he'd even consider it."

"Why not?"

"He's so straight! And I don't mean hetero, although that is a part of it. He's very down the line, goes out with all these beautiful women, and he's a cop for pete's sake! I don't think he'd consider taking a male lover, even if he were attracted to other men."

'That could be why Jim hasn't done anything about his feelings,' Chakotay thought. Aloud he said, "So are you attracted to Jim, or in love with him, or something else?"

"I care about Jim a lot. I could fall in love with him, so easily. But I'm not going to let myself get into that trap. If I let myself fall for him when I know he couldn't return it, I'd be setting myself up for more pain than I ever want to let myself in for."

Chakotay sipped at his soup, considering what Blair had said. He thought that perhaps that was why he had never let his feelings for Kathryn become more deep than they had.

"I know what you mean, Blair. There's a woman I work with, she's the most beautiful, driven, determined, kind person I've ever met. I could fall in love with her in a moment, but there are too many other things on our minds, mostly our work. We need each other so much for that, and a romantic relationship would complicate things too much."

"Life can really suck sometimes, can't it? So, what about this guy, Tom?"

"I thought I hated him when we started working together, and then he turned out to be exceptional at his job. Not just good, exceptional. Then we began to get along, talking, socializing outside of work. That was great, but then he went back to his old ways, or so I thought. It turned out that he was working to expose a spy, that it was all an act. Then I was...forced to be somewhere else for a while, and since I returned, I haven't had a chance to think about how I feel about him."

"Chakotay, I think that we both know that we have...conflicted feelings about other people. But how do you feel about me? I am very attracted to you, and I would like to explore the possibility of a relationship with you. Even if it's only for a few weeks, they could be a wonderful few weeks that I'd regret not having."

Chakotay thought for a moment.

"You're right. I don't know how long I'll be here in Cascade, but I want to spend as much of that time as I can with you, Blair. Are you sure you're comfortable with that situation?""I wouldn't have brought it up if I weren't, Chakotay. God, I want you, but are you sure you'll be okay, or should we wait a day or two?"

"I'm supposed to be leaving in a day or two, Blair."

"I want you to stay here for as long as you're here, Chakotay. Jim won't mind, and he won't even be here for six weeks. After that, you can think about getting somewhere else to stay.""All right. And Blair?"

He looked enquiringly at Chakotay.

"I think I'll be just fine, tonight."

"You mean..."

"Yes. I want you, Blair, in case you didn't realize that earlier. We'll just have to be a little careful."

"I can do careful," Blair replied, in a low, throaty voice.

"Good," Chakotay breathed.

"Have you finished eating?"

"At least the food."

Blair didn't say anything to that, he just took one of Chakotay's hands, and gently pulled him up off the couch. Chakotay was a little unsteady on his feet, he didn't know if it was the wine, his injured ankle, or Blair causing it, and he didn't really care, he was just enjoying the feeling of Blair's hand over his, Blair's blue eyes (so similar to Tom's, a part of his mind whispered), Blair's scent, Blair's mouth moving towards him...Blair captured his mouth in a kiss, opening his mouth to receive Chakotay's tongue.

"Yes," murmured Chakotay into Blair's mouth, "This is what we both need."

"Well, I think we'll be more comfortable in the bedroom," Blair said, pulling back gently.

The two men walked down the hall to Blair's bedroom, Chakotay leaning on Blair slightly, kissing all the way.

Blair moved a few things around, including, to Chakotay's surprise, an acoustic guitar.

"Do you play?" asked Chakotay.

"A little. I once had dreams of writing a song that would become a classic, you know, like American Pie."

"Oh, yes. Tom likes that song."

"Good taste," Blair smiled, "I think I'd like this Tom if I met him."

"I think you two are very similar," smiled Chakotay.

"Maybe I'll get a chance to meet him sometime."

"Stranger things have happened," noted Chakotay, truthful as always.

"Now," Blair said, as he finished straightening up and putting things away, "Where were we?"

"Oh, somewhere around here, I think," whispered Chakotay, moving over to where Blair stood beside the bed. He ran his strong hands through Blair's curly brown hair, stroking it gently, almost petting it, then moved in for a passionate kiss. Blair moaned as Chakotay began to unbutton the shirt he was wearing, slowly and carefully, as he wasn't terribly confident with the unfamiliar fastenings of Blair's clothing, but he loved to undress his lovers, like opening a precious gift, he'd once said in a poetic moment. Blair pressed himself forward, wanting to be as close as possible to Chakotay, moaning with need and want. Chakotay pushed the shirt off Blair's shoulders, then bent his head to kiss Blair's neck, feathering his lips down to his shoulders, then moving to his chest, fastening onto a nipple, tonguing it to a hard point, then repeating the process on the other.

"Oh, god, Chakotay," Blair murmured, lost in the intense sensations.

"Blair, you're so beautiful," moaned Chakotay, loving Blair's responsiveness to his every touch and caress.

Chakotay moved his hands to the waistband of Blair's jeans, unsure of how the fastenings worked, and after a few futile tries at getting them undone, Blair smiled, and said, "Let me, I think it'll be easier. These things are so complicated to get off." He moved reluctantly away from Chakotay, and removed the jeans as quickly as possible, along with his socks and briefs.

Chakotay sat down on the bed, watching Blair with eyes dark with passion. He smiled as Blair turned to him, as beautiful as a scultpture, only more so, because of the soul that dwelt within his precious, perfect flesh. Blair moved toward him, and began to untie the robe he was wearing, stopping for a moment to kiss Chakotay's bronze flesh that was revealed by the robe's opening.

"Mmmm," Chakotay murmured.

Blair smiled against Chakotay's chest, then lifted his head to smile at his lover, moving one hand to caress the firm flesh, loving Chakotay's gasp as his questing fingers found a nipple, teasing it into hardness, then moving to the tie, slipping the robe off Chakotay's body, loving the beauty of him that was revealed.

"God, you're beautiful, Chakotay," Blair gasped, moving to him to touch him everywhere he could reach, his face, his neck, his shoulders, his chest, moving one hand down to grasp his erection.

Chakotay groaned and moved his hips in response, seeking more of Blair's touch, more of the overwhelming pleasure he was feeling. Blair smiled, and moved his hand more firmly, brushing against the head, spreading the moisture that was leaking from the tip around, causing more gasps and moans.

"How do you want this, Chakotay?" Blair asked, pausing in his stroking.

"Mmm...I don't think actually...making love is possible...yet, so whatever you want to do is fine...oh, yes, don't stop!" as Blair started stroking him again, pulling a little more firmly, moving the other hand down to caress his scrotum, then moved it back to cup his face and pull him into a kiss, never ceasing his motions. Chakotay thrust into Blair's touch, moving his hips faster and faster, then coming with a strangled moan, collapsing against Blair.

Blair smiled, and smoothed Chakotay's hair gently, kissing his eyelids, his cheekbones, his nose, his chin, eventually reaching his lips. "Liked that?" he asked, looking at Chakotay with eyes so dark they were almost black.

"It was beautiful, Blair. It felt...right."

"Yes, it did--it does. I think maybe we were meant to meet on that deserted road."

"Fate? Maybe it was. There was something inevitable about it, wasn't there?"

"Mmmm," Blair murmured, then moved, and Chakotay was aware of the younger man's still unsatisfied erection. He reached down to stroke it, and smiled at the groan from his lover's lips. Chakotay kissed Blair's neck, his shoulders, then moved to explore his chest, licking and biting gently at Blair's flesh. Blair gasped as Chakotay moved to take him in his mouth, moving up and down his erection with lips and teeth and tongue, and as Chakotay moved his tongue over the head, Blair arched his back, pumped his hips, and came in long spurts in Chakotay's mouth. Chakotay withdrew gently from his lover, and made his way lazily back up Blair's body, taking him into his arms and kissing him. Blair responded eagerly, tasting himself in Chakotay's mouth, and the two men spooned together, falling asleep almost immediately.

Chakotay woke the next morning to the sound of Blair's guitar. The anthropologist was playing and singing something Chakotay didn't recognize, but he liked it. It was rather depressing, in a good way, and Chakotay realized that it was the beginning of a song when Blair began to sing.

There she goes, there she goes
All dressed up and walking, you found somebody new.
I don't want nobody, I was happy with you.
There she goes.
I never said I love you, but you know that I do.
I can't believe it's over, I keep thinking of you.
I see her everywhere, everywhere I go.
I see her everywhere, everywhere I go.
There she goes, there she goes.
( Guitar Solo )
There she goes.
Don't know why she left me, don't know what I'll do.
I don't want no counsel, I was happy with you.
I see her everywhere, everywhere I go.
I see her everywhere, everywhere I go.
There she goes, there she goes.
I wanna cry, for you.
There she goes, there she goes.
There she goes, there she goes.
There she goes, there she goes, there she goes.

"Multi-talented, I see," Chakotay grinned at Blair, noticing that he was already dressed with some regret, he loved early morning lovemaking.

"Morning," his young lover greeted him, "How's the ankle?"

"Much better, I think the doctor was right about it not being sprained, but only wrenched badly," Chakotay replied.

"HOW much better?" asked Blair, leering at him mockingly.

"Didn't you say you had to go in to work?" Chakotay asked, reluctantly.

Blair's face fell, "Oh, yeah."

"Would you like to meet later, maybe for lunch?"

"What would we be...eating?"

"Let's play that by ear. Now, how can I get to the university?"

"Well, it wouldn't do you a lot of good, even if you did take a cab there, I'm not working at the university today. I'm working at the police station, catching up on some paperwork for a case Jim and I worked on."

"So, I'll call a taxi, and meet you at..."

"Twelve-thirty?"

"See you then."

Blair carefully put his guitar away, picked up a pile of books, kissed Chakotay lightly on the lips, and was gone.

Chakotay spent the morning quietly, reading, taking a few random tricorder scans, checking on the shuttle to make sure it was still on course, and thinking about Blair, Jim and Tom. He knew that this...relationship with Blair would not, could not last, and he thought that Blair's feelings for Jim were deeper than Blair realized...Chakotay gasped in shock, as he realized that he could be describing himself and his feelings for Tom with those same words. "I guess whoever it was that said relationships are never easy was more right than they realized," he said to himself, softly, thinking of Tom, his blonde hair, his laughing eyes, his mouth, his teasing, smartass personality that he wore like a shield. "I still can't believe how similar Blair's eyes are to Tom's," he thought, seeing the blue of both men's gazes in his mind's eye, wondering if Tom's would go as dark as Blair's with desire when he made love.

"Would I be ruining the timeline if I did try to push Blair and Jim together? I truly don't believe that it's wrong in any way, shape or form to encourage feelings of love, and I certainly don't think it'd be a violation of the Prime Directive," he thought, "And I'm certainly not going to be here forever, and even if I am, I couldn't stay with Blair, he'd never be first in my heart, and I care for him too much to do that to him, especially considering the way Jim feels."

Chakotay was so intent on these thoughts that almost before he knew it, it was twelve noon, and he decided to leave a little early to meet Blair.

Fifteen minutes later, a yellow taxi pulled up in front of the Cascade police station, and Chakotay paid the driver, smiling as he said that he didn't often hear of people wanting to go here voluntarily.

Chakotay entered the building, and a young receptionist, pretty, with dark hair, smiled at him.

"Can I help you sir?" she smiled at him invitingly.

Chakotay smiled back, and said, "I'm looking for Blair Sandburg."

"Just go down that hall, turn left, and you'll find Blair in Jim Ellison's office, you can't miss it."

"Thank you," Chakotay smiled at her.

"If there's...anything else I can do to help," she said, obviously hoping there was.

"No, thank you," and Chakotay walked towards the hall she had indicated.

He was reading the names on the doors as he passed, not really looking in front of him, and he crashed into someone coming the other way.

"I'm sorry," Chakotay apologized, stepping back to let the man pass him.

"That's okay, can I help you? I'm Captain Simon Banks."

"I'm looking for Blair Sandburg. My name is Chakotay."

"Oh, yes, Blair said you'd be stopping by. Nice to meet you."

"Likewise."

"Jim's office is the last door on the right. Do you have a minute? I'd like to talk to you."

Chakotay wondered what this man who he'd never met could possibly have to say to him, but as he was early, he thought it wouldn't hurt to hear what Captain Banks had to say. He followed him to his office at the end of the hall, curious as to what he was about to hear.

"What is your exact relationship with Blair?" Simon asked as soon as the door closed behind them.

"Excuse me?"

"Ever since Blair ran you down a few days ago, I've been trying to check out who you are. But every computer search comes up a total blank. Mr Chakotay, as far as the world is concerned, you don't exist."

"I can explain..."

"And I look forward to hearing it. Now would be an excellent time."

Chakotay knew that the truth would only make things immeasurably worse, but he did have an explanation prepared.

"I'm a Native American, as you can see. I've been living in the Arizona desert for the past ten years, and before that I went under a different name. It's all part of the witness protection program," and Chakotay thanked his gods that he'd researched a reason why there might be no records of an individual's existence

"What was your name before?"

"It wouldn't do you any good to search under it, all records pertaining to my previous life have been destroyed. The man I used to be is dead," and Chakotay couldn't help thinking how the truth could sometimes come out in a lie, as he realized that it was true, in a sense. The man he'd been a few years ago was as dead to him as his father was, more so, in fact. He had changed in such a profound way during his time on Voyager that he knew he would never be able to return to the self that he had been during his days as a Maquis.

"All right, I believe you. It's just...Blair and Jim mean a lot to me."

Chakotay wondered for a moment if perhaps Simon and Jim were lovers, and if that was the reason Jim had never acted on his feelings for Blair, but he realized that Simon was still talking.

"It's as clear as crystal that those two are meant to be together, and I intend to make sure that they realize it, and soon. I thought maybe Blair was going to settle down with that Fredi Washington woman, but it didn't work out. Now you come along. Do you have serious feelings for Blair?"

"Yes and no. I know that I'll never be able to have a lifelong relationship with Blair, even if I did stay here in Cascade, which I don't intend to do, there's someone else who means too much to me, who I have to try to make things work with. But I'll always be grateful to Blair for helping me to realize that, and I'm going to try my hardest to make sure that Blair realizes that he and Jim belong together."

Simon smiled, and said. "Good luck to you, Mr Chakotay. And if you need any help convincing Blair or Jim, you know where to find me."

"Thank you, Captain Banks. I don't think it will take much convincing. I know Jim is in love with Blair, and I'm almost certain that Blair feels the same way."

Simon stepped aside to let Chakotay exit the room first, and as he walked out, Blair walked out of the office that must have been Jim's.

"Chakotay!" he called, smiling, "I've finished everything I had to do. Where did you want to go for lunch?"

"Well, if you've finished for the day, how about going back to the loft? We could talk for a while, maybe you could play some music for me, and then...."

"And then what?" asked Blair, smiling mischievously.

"Use your imagination," Chakotay teased, and, laughing, the two men exited the police station.

Half an hour later, after stopping to pick up some food, Blair and Chakotay were back at the loft. Chakotay asked Blair to play for him while he prepared the meal, and Blair was happy to do it. He played some instrumental pieces, and some music from the nineteen sixties and seventies, and then he said, "There's a song I've never shared with anyone, Chakotay. It's about how I hope the world will be someday. I'd like to play it for you."

"I would be honoured," Chakotay said, knowing how difficult it must have been for Blair to offer this to him.

Blair began to play, and Chakotay nearly dropped the glass he was holding in shock.

This ain't comin' from no prophet,
Just an ordinary man,
When I close my eyes I see the way this world shall be,
When we all walk hand in hand.

When the last child cries for a crust of bread,
When the last man dies for just words that he said,
When there's shelter over the poorest head,
We shall be free.

When the last thing we notice is the colour of skin,
And the first thing we look for is the beauty within,
When the skies and the ocean are clean again,
Then we shall be free.

We shall be free,
We shall be free,
Stand straight, walk proud,
We shall be free.

When we're free to love anyone we choose,
When this world's big enough for all different views,
When we all can worship from our own kind of pews,
Then we shall be free.

We shall be free,
We shall be free,
Have a little faith, hold out,
Cause we shall be free.

And when money talks for the very last time,
And nobody walks a step behind,
And there's only one race, and that's mankind,
Then we shall be free.

We shall be free,
We shall be free,
Stand straight, walk proud, have a little faith, hold out,
We shall be free.

We shall be free,
We shall be free,
Stand straight, have a little faith, walk proud,
We shall be free,
We shall be free,
We shall be free.

Chakotay couldn't believe it. BLAIR was the person who wrote and sang the song that was the unofficial anthem of Starfleet, and in fact it had been rumoured that the policies of the Federation were based on the words of that song, although no one ever proved that statement conclusively. It had also been embraced by the Maquis rebels. It appeared that Blair would realize his dream of writing a song that would become a universal classic.

"What did you think, Chakotay?" asked Blair, nervously, a little worried about the odd expression on Chakotay's face.

"I...Blair, that song is beautiful. You should record it. I'm sure people would respond to it."

"You really think so? You're not just saying that?"

"Blair, I would never lie to you about something like this. I truly believe that that song is wonderful, and I think it would be a shame not to share it with the world."

"I do have a friend who owns a recording studio...I could record it there."

"I truly think you should, Blair."

"I'm going to call Matt right now, before I chicken out of this. I'll be back in a minute.""No, Blair, make the call from here. I'll give you some privacy."

"Thanks, Chakotay."

Ten minutes later, Blair called out to Chakotay, who came from the bedroom where he'd been reading.

"Well?" Chakotay asked.

"I can have some time this afternoon, after five. How would you like to see a recording studio?"

"I'd love to, if you're sure you want me along."

"Hey, I wouldn't be doing this without you. I just wish Jim were here as well."

"Well, I'm not Jim, but I am happy for you."

"Thanks, Chakotay. That means a lot.'

"You're welcome. Now, do you think we can eat?"

"Sounds good," and the two men sat at the table and began eating.

After they finished eating, Blair stretched, and said, "Well, it's only one-thirty. What are we going to do for the next three hours?"

"We could play poker," suggested Chakotay.

"Strip poker?"

"If you like."

"How about we forget the poker, and just strip?" And Blair moved forward to take Chakotay in his arms.

"That sounds good to me," Chakotay gasped as Blair began biting and sucking at his neck.

"Want to move this somewhere a little more comfortable, and less crowded?" asked Blair as he hit his knee on a chair.

"Yes, good idea," Chakotay murmured.

They moved from the table, walking towards Blair's bedroom, removing each other's clothes as they went. Just as they got to the door, they each removed the other's last garment, Chakotay's briefs and Blair's boxers.

"Perfect timing," joked Blair, and gasped as Chakotay bent his head and started tonguing his nipples.

They were kissing and touching everywhere they could reach, making their way over to the bed, on a leisurely, erotic journey, when Blair stopped, suddenly.

"What is it?" asked Chakotay, breathing heavily.

"I..we need protection."

"Protection?"

"A condom."

Chakotay didn't recognize the term for a moment, then he realized what Blair was referring to. Ah. Yes. At this time there were many diseases that could be contracted through unprotected sex, some of which could be fatal. Of course he had nothing to worry about, those diseases had been conquered years ago, in his time, but the concern now was very real.

"Do you have any?" he asked, reluctantly breaking his hold on the younger man.

"No, I don't. It's been a few months since I was with anyone, and before that we'd both been tested together."

"I haven't been with anyone at all in the last three years, and my last...test was negative," Chakotay said, thinking that Seska's little trick with his DNA certainly didn't count.

"So was mine. I'm willing to trust you if you're willing to trust me, Chakotay."

"Absolutely and completely," he replied, moving in for a deep kiss, not so much of passion, but of trust and promise.

"I love the way you make me feel," said Blair, "Safe and protected. You must make a lot of people feel that way."

"I hope I do," Chakotay smiled at him, Blair looked so beautiful in the dim light of the room, all curly hair, defined contours and golden skin.

"What?" Blair asked, blushing under Chakotay's steady, aroused regard.

"I was just thinking of how beautiful you are," and Chakotay smiled as Blair's blush deepened.

"I'll be back in a moment," Blair said, heading for the door.

Chakotay wondered what he was leaving for, but didn't try to stop him.

Blair returned with a small plastic bottle.

"Oil," he explained, "For..."

Chakotay just smiled, and said, "You know, I never even thought of it. Too...distracted, I guess," and they both smiled at the memory of the last time that phrase had been used between them.

Blair moved back to the bed, lying down next to Chakotay, skin touching skin everywhere, feeling the big man's muscles, his broad shoulders, his smooth chest, his flat stomach, his erection digging into his thigh. Blair moved slightly, to take Chakotay in his hand, feeling him thrust against him, the heat of his arousal.

"What do you want?" asked Blair, stroking him.

"You, inside me. Please," Chakotay gasped.

"Are you sure? I thought..."

"That I'd want to be inside you? That comes next, Blair."

Blair gulped, and said, "All right, then," and began kissing Chakotay again.

Chakotay moaned, loving the feel of Blair's lips on his, feeling his hands moving, searching, finding the oil, coating his hands with it, moving his hands over his body, one moving to grasp his erection, the other caressing his scrotum, then moving further, finding the puckered opening, moving one finger gently inside, starting to stretch the passage gently, moving easily due to the oil, adding a second finger, teasing his prostate which caused a muffled scream from the older man, moving a third finger inside, adding more oil, then removing the fingers, to a groan of aroused need from Chakotay.

Chakotay moved to turn over, but Blair stopped him.

"I want to see you, please, Chakotay."

Chakotay complied, moving onto his back, throwing his legs up over Blair's shoulders, shuddering as his erection brushed against Blair's. Blair coated his straining erection with more oil, and eased his way gently forward into Chakotay's body. He paused for a moment, halfway in, and Chakotay thrust upwards, and Blair was completely buried inside him. Blair began a gentle thrusting, and moved an oil-slick hand down to engulf Chakotay's erection, only to have it gently pushed aside.

"What..."

"I told you that I wanted to be inside you, Blair."

Blair complied, and resumed his thrusts, moving a little faster.

"God, Chakotay, this is so perfect!"

Chakotay just moaned in response, angling his hips to take Blair as deeply into him as he could.

Blair started thrusting wildly, as fast as he could, and after a few minutes of this, he exploded deep inside Chakotay, then withdrew from the older man and slumped forward, exhausted.

Chakotay moved gently out from under him, and pulled Blair up to lie beside him. Blair smiled at him, and whispered, "Thank you, Chakotay. That was incredible."

Chakotay just smiled, and held Blair close to him, feeling him relax, coming down from the intense lovemaking. He moved, and his erection brushed against Blair. Blair smiled, looked at him, and said, "I think we have some...unfinished business."

"It can wait, Blair, if you're tired."

"Chakotay, I'm not tired. I'm hyped up, full of energy!"

"Well then," Chakotay growled, reaching for his lover, "I think I can do something about that!"

Blair responded eagerly to Chakotay's touch, kissing him urgently, feeling his hands searching for the oil, gasping as he bit his neck, then moved one hand, slick with oil, to probe his opening gently, stretching carefully, moving him to his hands and knees, knowing that this position would be easier for Blair, loving the long pale back that he touched and caressed, kissing the base of the spine, inserting a second and third finger, using the other hand to coat his erection with the oil, then removing his fingers, and moving into Blair's body, slowly and carefully. He stopped, halfway, afraid that Blair might not be able to take him in all the way, but Blair pushed back, urgently, and Chakotay was buried inside him. He began to thrust into him, moving gently, reaching one hand down to grasp Blair's renewed erection, pumping him in time with his thrusts. After a few minutes, Chakotay came, deep inside Blair, and Blair exploded a moment later, shouting Chakotay's name.

After a few minutes of holding each other, Blair looked at his watch.

"Holy shit! It's four o'clock!"

"Mmmm?" Chakotay murmured, he'd been nearly asleep.

"The recording session!"

Chakotay became aware immediately. "We'd better take a shower then. You first."

"We could shower together. If you want to."

"Good idea, it'd be quicker. Just a shower, though," he grinned.

"Of course."

A few minutes later, they were out of the shower and dressed, heading for the car.

Blair pulled the truck up to a nondescript building in downtown Cascade, which had a discreet sign which read Anderson Records. Blair and Chakotay entered the building, and were greeted by a young, blonde receptionist.

"Mr Sandburg, nice to see you again. You're here to see Matt?"

"Yes, Serena."

"Go right in, he's waiting for you."

Blair and Chakotay walked past her, into a lushly decorated office.

"Blair, how are you doing?" asked the tall, attractive man who Blair introduced to Chakotay as Matt Anderson. He shook Chakotay's hand, and promptly proceeded to ignore him for the rest of the session. It went extremely well, and was finished by eight o'clock. Matt offered to buy them dinner, half-heartedly including Chakotay in the invitation, but Blair refused him politely. He wished them a good night, and left, and a few minutes later, Blair and Chakotay were walking out of the building, discussing whether to go to a restaurant for dinner, or to go home and make love again. Chakotay was dimly aware of a car driving past, but didn't notice the gun pointing out of the window, until a shot rang out. He pulled Blair down immediately, but it was too late, Blair had been hit. He knew that a gunshot wound could be fatal, but luckily, he had had to learn how to deal with these types of wounds back in his Maquis days. He realized that Blair had been shot in the leg, which was relief, anywhere else might have been more dangerous, and applied a makeshift dressing using Blair's jacket. He grabbed Blair's cellular phone from the truck, and called an ambulance, which arrived quickly. He used the phone to call Simon Banks, to ask him to let Jim know, and Simon said that he'd be at the hospital when he got there.

"Jim, where are you?" Blair murmured. Chakotay just held his hand, praying to his gods to let Blair recover.

A surprisingly short time later, they were at the hospital, and Blair was wheeled away to the operating theatre. Simon greeted Chakotay, and said that Jim would be there within an hour.

Jim raced into the hospital, looking worried.

"How is he?"

"In surgery," replied Simon.

"I'm so sorry, Jim. If I'd seen..."

"It's not your fault, Chakotay. This kind of thing happens. It was just a drive-by."

"Jim, I think you should know, Blair was asking for you."

"I've had a chance to think, Chakotay."

"You love him. And I know he loves you."

"I'm going to tell him, as soon as he gets out of surgery. I don't want to waste another second of our time together, it could be taken away from us so easily."

Chakotay's communicator suddenly chirped, and he smiled.

"That's why I'm leaving, as soon as I know Blair's all right. There's someone I have to say the same things to."

Jim smiled. "It seems the past few days were productive for both of us."

The doctor came down the hall then, and Chakotay, Jim and Simon were on their feet immediately.

"He'll be all right. It's lucky Mr Chakotay was there, or he might have bled to death. The bullet hit a vein, but not an artery."

"Thank God," said Jim, sincerely, and turned to embrace Chakotay. "Thank you," he whispered, "Thank you for saving Blair's life."

"Jim, I care for him too. I don't love him, I love Tom, but I'll always remember the time I had with him."

Jim looked stunned, "You and Blair?"

"Please, don't let it stop you from saying what you want to, Jim. Remember, I'm leaving tonight, to go to the man I love. I will always cherish the time I had with Blair, it made me realize what I really want, and I suspect it did the same for him."

"You're right," Jim said.

"Would you like to see Blair, Mr Chakotay? Or Mr Ellison?"

"Go on, Chakotay. You go first."

Chakotay smiled, knowing the effort it must have cost Jim to say that, and followed the doctor to Blair's room.

"Hey, I thought we were going to dinner," Blair said weakly.

"Change of plans. Blair, I have to tell you, I'm leaving tonight. This has made me realize, I've got to tell Tom how I feel about him. What if something similar happened to Tom, and I never got the chance to tell him?"

"If he doesn't want you, Chakotay, he's a fool, and you can tell him that I said so."

"Thanks, Blair, I'll do that." They both laughed at that.

"Is this a private party, or can anyone join in," Jim entered the room.

"I was just telling Chakotay, if this guy Tom doesn't want him, then he's a fool"

"I think you're right about that, Blair. We have a lot to talk about."

"Yeah, we do."

"Well," said Chakotay, "I have to go. There's a flight leaving in fifteen minutes, I can make it if I rush."

"Goodbye, Chakotay, and thank you again, for everything," said Jim.

Chakotay smiled at him, shaking his hand, and went over to Blair.

"Remember, don't waste time. Tell Tom how you feel as soon as you see him."

"I will," Chakotay promised, and leaned down to kiss Blair goodbye. On reaching the door, he turned, and smiled. Jim had Blair's hand in his, and they were just looking at each other, not noticing him standing there, so intent were they on each other.

Simon was still in the waiting room.

"How is he?"

"He'll be fine. It was nice seeing you again."

"Are you going somewhere?"

"Home."

"Good luck, Chakotay."

"Thank you, Captain Banks."

And Chakotay walked out of the hospital, found a secluded area in the car park, tapped his combadge, and said, "Energize."

Chakotay maneuvered the shuttle through the wormhole, and was relieved that it opened in the same position it had been in a few days previously. Now all he had to do was find Voyager.

He began long-range scans, and located Voyager fairly quickly, it was about an hour's flight away, and well within communications range.

"Chakotay to Voyager."

"Voyager here," it was Harry Kim's voice.

"Ensign, report to Captain Janeway that the wormhole is not a viable way back to Earth. Although it is stable, it is temporally in two different places."

"Commander?"

"This end is in the twenty-fourth century, the other is in the twentieth century. I think it is similar to the wormhole we encountered two years ago."

"It's good to have you back, Commander. I know someone who'll be very glad to hear it."

"Thank you, Ensign. I'll see you in an hour."

"See you then, Commander.'"

Chakotay wondered for a moment if Harry had been referring to Tom, but he thought that it was much more likely to be B'Elanna. Harry and B'Elanna had been seeing each other for several weeks now, and Chakotay was happy that his friend had found someone who could make her happy.

An hour later, Chakotay landed the shuttle smoothly in the shuttlebay. As the doors opened, B'Elanna pulled him into a fierce hug.

"Don't you EVER send a message buoy like that again, Chakotay. Everyone's been worried sick about you the last few days."

"She's right, Commander," Harry added, "And maybe now that you're back, we'll get our best pilot back on the bridge."

"Paris? What does he have to do with any of this?" Chakotay didn't want to think of the implications of Harry's words.

"Gods, WHEN are you two going to give up on the oblivious act?" B'Elanna asked frustratedly.

"What are you talking about, B'Elanna?"

"Chakotay, I know how you felt about Tom when we started this journey. I also know how your feelings for him have been...confused lately. I think that you are in love with him, you just haven't admitted it to yourself."

"But I have."

"You have?"

"Comm-Chakotay? Are you in love with Tom?" Harry's question startled them, they'd forgotten they weren't alone.

Chakotay didn't think it would be worth the effort to try to hide his feelings from Harry at this point, and said, "Yes, I am."

"Good," Harry smiled brilliantly at Chakotay.

"What do you mean, Harry?"

"I mean, that Tom has been completely miserable the past few days. He was convinced you were...no longer with us."

"Tom thought I was dead?"

"He still thinks so, at least I assume he does. He's locked in his quarters, and hasn't come out. He let me in for a while, the first day, that's how I know about it. But only you and the Captain have the authority to override the privacy lock, and the Captain's had too much on her mind to worry about Tom, although she is concerned, of course."

"Of course. I'd better go and see him, then."

"I think that might be a good idea."

"Could you tell the Captain that I'm going to see Tom, and I'll give her my report as soon as I've talked to him?"

"Of course," replied Harry.

They headed for the turbolift, Chakotay getting off at Deck F, where Tom's quarters were located.

"Good luck," winked B'Elanna, as Chakotay opened the lift doors.

He walked down the hall, and arrived in front of Tom's door. He could hear music coming from inside the cabin, he didn't recognize it. He couldn't hear any singing, and wondered if it might be a classical or instrumental piece. But he had more important things to be concerned about.

"Computer, open doors of cabin F-27, authorization Chakotay delta seven."

"Complying," came the artificial feminine voice.

The doors opened, but the cabin was in darkness. Chakotay entered the front room, and realized that Tom was singing to the music, but his voice was so soft he hadn't heard it through the door. He didn't recognize the song, but it was very sad, talking about clouds and rain, and sadness and feeling Forever Blue.

Then the music changed, and Tom began a new song.

I've been thinking a lot about you, I'm so lonely here without you please,
Don't leave me on my own.
I was hoping that you would write me, or come and see me or just invite me
please,
Don't leave me on my own.
If you come back here, I'll fix the place up, I really love you, let's not
give up please.
Don't leave me on my own.
I stay up late now cause I've been crying, I say I'm ok but I'd be lying please.
Don't leave me on my own.
( Guitar Solo ) Please don't leave me all alone.
I've been thinking a lot about you, I'm so lonely here without you please,
Don't leave me on my own.
Please don't leave me on my own.
Please don't leave me on my own.

"Please don't, Chakotay," Tom whispered when the music stopped.

Chakotay looked at Tom, those classic features in profile, seen through the light that spilled through the door, he was unutterably beautiful.

"Don't what, Tom?" he asked after a moment of simply admiring him.

"Chakotay, I hear your voice, even though I know you're dead. Am I imagining it?"

"Tom, I'm here, I'm real. I'm not dead, I swear it."

Tom turned then, and saw him.

"Chakotay! Gods, I'm sorry, I didn't know, please, forget I said anything."

"I don't want to forget, Tom. I don't want to waste any time after the past few days, hell, the past two years!"

"What are you saying, Chakotay?"

"I'm saying that I love you, Tom, and I want to be with you. If that's what you want."

"I want that more than anything, Chakotay. When I thought you were dead...where were you the past two days?"

"Tom, I'll tell you everything, I promise. But I have to give a report to the Captain. Meet me at my quarters for dinner?"

Tom smiled, then asked, "Just dinner?"

Chakotay couldn't resist, and moved over to take Tom into his arms. The younger man looked up at the commander, huskily requesting more illumination from the computer. Chakotay looked into those blue depths, and before he knew it, he was kissing Tom deeply and passionately.

"No, Tom, not just dinner. I don't think you should plan on coming back here tonight."

Tom flashed a trademark grin, and said, "I won't, then. Now, when should you be through with the Captain?"

"Give me a couple of hours. It's...pretty involved."

"1900 hours?"

"Yes. We should be finished by then."

"See you at 1900 hours, Chakotay."

Chakotay just smiled, and walked out of Tom's cabin.

The briefing with Captain Janeway took less time than he'd thought, and Chakotay was back in his cabin at 1800 hours. He called Tom, wanting to let him know that he'd finished early, and half-hoping that Tom might come early, only to find that Tom was on the holodeck, running a workout program. He smiled at the thought of interrupting Tom, finding him all flushed and warm, but decided that the relationship, "Gods, I've already started thinking of it as a relationship!" was a little too new for that to be their first time together, although he'd have to remember that idea for a later time...

Chakotay tidied up his cabin, chose the clothes he was going to wear, ordered dinner from the replicator, to be served soon after Tom arrived, and it was only 1830 hours. "What am I going to do for the next thirty minutes? And that's assuming he's on time?" Then an idea struck him.

He went to his computer terminal, and requested the entire Federation Historical Database to be downloaded to his personal files. He then began a search, he'd decided to see what had happened to Blair and Jim after he'd left.

The first reference he saw to Blair was that, a few months after he and Jim had started seeing each other, a Fredi Washington (Chakotay thought that name sounded familiar, after thinking for a moment, he placed it as the woman Simon Banks had mentioned Blair seeing) had let Blair know that he had a child, a little girl called Nia, and that she was dying of cancer. Chakotay smiled at the thought of Blair and Jim raising a child together, knowing that they would do an incredible job. He hoped that they'd had some time together to enjoy each other first, though. He wondered if he and Tom would ever get to the stage of wanting children. He continued reading, Blair had recorded We Shall Be Free, of course, and had recorded a few other songs, but he had been too busy with research to make music a career. Chakotay read of his research, into Sentinels. Chakotay knew of such men, they appeared in his own tribal legends, and he was shocked to realize that Jim had been a Sentinel. That had been what had brought them together, the situation that had made Jim hesitant to begin a relationship with Blair. Chakotay smiled as he read that Blair and Jim had been married a few years after Nia's arrival, he hoped that they'd been as happy together as he hoped he and Tom would be. Blair had published his Sentinel research when Nia was around ten years old, and had been a tenured professor at the Cascade University for many years. Jim had retired from the police force at the age of fifty-six, and Blair had retired from university life a few years later. Nia had married by then, and had presented Blair and Jim with four grandchildren, two boys and two girls.

Chakotay smiled at the thought of Blair and Jim as grandfathers, and noticed that one of the girls had been called Miranda. The name teased at him, there was a connection there, but he couldn't place it. He realized that he had, in part, been responsible for the life Blair and Jim had had together, if he hadn't saved Blair's life, Nia might have been put into a foster home, or might not have married and had children. He knew that he might have changed history, but it must have been how it was meant to be, after all, he was back where he was supposed to be. He continued, following the family tree, each generation had had a daughter named Miranda (the name still pulled at his memory), going up to several years ago, when Miranda Sandburg Grey had married Lieutenant Eugene Paris, later Admrial Eugene Paris. Chakotay gasped. Blair was an ancestor of Tom's! That explained the similarity of their eyes, Blair's love for tomato soup, the instantaneous attraction he'd felt for Blair, even the feeling of protectiveness he'd had for Blair. And that was why the name had seemed familiar, Tom had mentioned that the only members of his family that he missed were his mother and his sister, Miranda. Oh. My. If Chakotay hadn't save Blair's life, Tom might never have been born. "I guess that makes us even," Chakotay mused, wondering if it really had been a coincidence, or if he'd been meant to save Blair's life. He was a firm believer in fate, and he wondered if this had been why he hadn't seen his feelings for Tom before, because he'd been meant to go back in time and save Blair's life, and realize his feelings then. He was so lost in thought, that he didn't hear his door chime at first, and then he realized that it was 1900 hours, and that it was Tom.

"Hi," said Tom, shyly, when the doors opened. Gods, the man was actually blushing, and he looked so fragile and beautiful in his off-duty clothes, a blue shirt that matched his eyes, and black pants. He looked admiringly at Chakotay's white shirt and olive green pants as well, and then Chakotay was unable to resist the urge to take Tom into his arms again, just holding him for a moment, feeling him here, and real, and alive, knowing that he was in part responsible for it.

"What is it, Chakotay?" asked Tom, feeling the intensity of the emotion from the other man.

"It's a lot of things, Tom. Let's sit down and talk while we eat."

While they enjoyed the meal Chakotay had ordered, he told Tom all about the past few days, about Blair, and Jim, and his relationship with Blair, how he'd helped Blair and Jim to find each other, how he'd come to realize how he felt about Tom, saving Blair's life, and what he'd discovered about Tom's and Blair's connection."

"Gods," breathed Tom, "That of all the people that it could have been, that it would be an ancestor of mine. I had no idea that the Blair Sandburg who recorded We Shall Be Free was related to my family, it's not exactly the most common name, but I never knew it. Guess that's where my love for music comes from."

"Finished eating?" Chakotay asked, and wished he'd put it differently when Tom gave him a wicked grin.

"The food? Yes."

Chakotay just grinned, and went over to Tom and pulled him up from the chair, taking him into his arms and kissing him. Tom responded eagerly, pushing his tongue into Chakotay's mouth, sliding his tongue over and under Chakotay's, thrusting in and out in the actions of lovemaking. Chakotay groaned, and pulled back, gently, moving down to bite Tom's neck gently. The younger man moaned at the feeling of Chakotay's teeth nipping his skin, and gasped as Chakotay's hands reached under his shirt, exploring his chest, brushing across his nipples. He teased them into hardness, loving Tom's gasps and cries of pleasure, then he slipped off the shirt, moving his head down to use his tongue on them. "Gods, Chakotay!" Tom cried. He almost fell over when Chakotay moved a hand down to find the physical evidence of his arousal, moaning and sobbing Chakotay's name as he rubbed his burgeoning erection through the pants. Chakotay removed them, and his own clothing quickly, and immediately went down on Tom, who collapsed back into the chair, hands reaching to grasp Chakotay's head. It didn't take long for Chakotay's lips, teeth and tongue to bring Tom to the edge of release, and a moment later he tumbled over, coming in Chakotay's mouth in long, hot spurts.

When he could breathe again, Tom pulled Chakotay up beside him, and kissed him, tasting himself on Chakotay's lips. Chakotay responded, but squirmed a little uncomfortably.

"Tom," he gasped, wrenching his lips from the pilot's, "There's a perfectly good bed in the other room, which is a lot more comfortable than this chair. Why don't we go in there?"

"Big Man, you constantly amaze me at your amount of good sense," he grinned.

"I take it that's a yes?"

Tom just moved out from under him in answer, taking his hand to lead him into the bedroom.

When they got in there, Tom was on him immediately, kissing him deeply, caressing his hips, moving around to the puckered opening, sliding an unlubricated finger inside, which caused Chakotay to tense up a bit. Tom moved back a bit, saying, "Don't you want...." Chakotay silenced him with a kiss, and simply said, "We need lubricant." He walked over to the replicator, and requested a tube, bringing it over to the bed, where Tom was waiting for him. Tom gently pushed him down on his back, leaning over him, kissing him deeply until both of them were whimpering with desire. Tom squeezed some lubricant onto his fingers, and returned to Chakotay's opening, sliding one inside, the path easier this time, then a second, rubbing across the big man's prostate, then adding a third, twisting them inside Chakotay until the big man was sobbing for release. Tom smiled, and positioned himself over Chakotay, entering him gently, burying himself completely inside his lover, stopping for a moment to feel the joining, this was the first time, but not the last. Chakotay moved, a little, and Tom was thrusting in and out, moving a hand to wrap it around the big man's erection, pumping him in time with his thrusts, and both men were sobbing and crying out each other's names, Chakotay came first, shouting "I love you," and Tom came from hearing Chakotay say that he loved him, exploding deep inside his lover.

After a few minutes of cuddling, Tom grinned at Chakotay, and said, "Much as I love just lying here with you, I don't think the Captain is going to be terrifically sympathetic if we're glued together tomorrow. Let's take a shower."

Chakotay just chuckled and got up, leading his lover into the bathroom.

Half an hour later, they were back in the bed, holding each other close.

"So, what now?" asked Tom.

"Tom, if you have the energy for another round, I certainly don't. Remember, I'm getting old."

"You're not old, Chakotay, you're just right. And that's not what I meant."

"Well, if you're talking about our relationship, Harry and B'Elanna already suspect."

"That's a big surprise. I told Harry when I thought you were..."

"Let's just play it by ear. Hell, gossip reaches Warp Ten, anyway, so it'll be all over the ship by now."

"True. Are you sure you can handle it?"

"Handle what?"

"The remarks about me. Everyone'll wonder what you see in me."

"Tom, I don't care what anyone else says. I love you."

"Oh, Chakotay, I love you, too."

And they fell asleep, holding onto each other, heading into a future in which only one thing was certain. They'd be together.

Email the author with comments.
Use your browsers back button to return to your story selections or submit a new query.