Work Text:
Don't Go Away
by DonnaR
Disclaimer: Credit to Pet Fly, UPN and anyone else that Sentinel belongs to. I don't own them, just borrowing them a little bit. I also used some of Ace of Base's lyrics from her CD Cruel Summer off of their webpage, http://www.aceofbase.net/songs/hd.htm
Notes: I got the idea for this story after constantly listening to the new Ace of Base's CD, Cruel Summer. I started noticing how their songs, in a certain order told a story. They just screamed Jim and Blair. I'd like to thank my wonderful internet friend, Isabel Tan for beta'ing this story. As well as a deep love for Ace of Base, she also has been cheering me up through some troubling times. This series is strictly for her. I hope this makes up for the cruddy life you've had lately.
Don't Go Away
by DonnaR
Don't Go Away by Ace of Base
One step hesitation, one step into the night
don't mind the weather, it's raining in my heart tonight
much more to living, two wrongs don't make aright
you're gonna regret it, when you're looking back
on your life
don't go away, make the most of this love I'm giving
don't go away, better take another look at my face
you can be what you wanna be, hmm, but don't go away
some dream of fortune, others dream of fame
seconds after leaving, life'll never be the same
fell for temptation, it didn't mean a thing
we'll last forever, if you turn around, once again
don't go away, make the most of this love I'm giving
don't go away, better take another look at my face
you can be what you wanna be, hmm, but don't go away
do you wanna be more than a picture on the wall
something to remind me of how it all went wrong
do you wanna be more than a number forgotten in a book
you're holding something special so take another look
you're gonna regret it, when you're looking back,
on your life
Don't go away!!!! Please God, don't go away!! I didn't mean to do the
things I did. I can't believe this. I knew I'd force you away somehow.
I've been a pessimist since we met. I should have been an optimist.
All my life, I've somehow screwed up with the people I love. I didn't
mean it.
I kicked you out of the loft because I was afraid. I was afraid of just
how vulnerable you make me feel. Alex was just the last straw. After
finding out what you wrote in the dissertation, we just went down hill.
All this time!! I always thought I had plenty of time to tell you I
love you. But I didn't and now you're gone.
I thought you were dead!! I wanted to die!! All I could feel was you
leaving me in the lurch. I don't want to live without you. We could
have made it if I'd just told you. But I didn't. And now, I have to
live with the worst mistake of my life. Two wrongs don't make a right.
You're gonna regret leaving me, as I will you. You can't have two people
sharing what we did and not experience that destructive emotion called
regret.
When I kicked you out of the loft, I did so to protect you. It was the
only way I knew to protect you. I knew something was wrong. I saw the
other cat, the regular coated jaguar. Somehow I knew I had a rival.
I'd already made all the wrong decisions I could. This was just the
final straw. Racing to the campus, all I could think about was you.
God, I just knew my actions had caused you to finally be dead. When
I saw you lying in the fountain, all I could think was, It happened,
It finally happened. I finally lost the person who I love with all my
heart.
Knowing I'd lost all chance of feeling you in my arms, feeling your lips
upon my sensitive skin. Your exquisite mouth sucking and pulling on
my tongue, providing all the taste I'd need. The touch of your wonderful
hands pulling me from a zone-out. The sound of your heart soothing me
as I go to sleep. The vision of your vibrancy, bursting into my daily
activities. The smell of the natural essences you use every day, creating
your unique scent. Just knowing I would never have a chance to make
love to you. To pound into your sweet smelling body, ready to explode
your cream all over me. To know, I'd never have a chance to taste your
passionate release, only you could provide. To feel you ramming that
thick rod into me, massaging my prostate to make me ecstatic with desire.
To have that body 100% mine. And mine 100% yours. To know finally,
peace in my life.
I was warned. By everybody around me. I was told by Simon don't do
anything foolish, because I'd regret it. Hell, I even had an angel telling
me not to give up on love. I've been given enough God given messages
that I should have got the clue. But I realized everything too late.
Sitting here on the chair of the hospital, all I could do was think,
I have another chance. When I felt your heartbeat again, it was a ray
of light into my life. All I planned was to tell you how sorry I was.
That I'd never do it again. It was the first thing I wanted to tell
you.
But you wouldn't let me near you. The doctors told me that Blair Sandburg
didn't want to see me. That he'd sue the hospital if I came near him.
Oh God!! I wanted to die. Here I am, ready to make the biggest confession
of my life and you won't let me near you. And when you're released,
I try to see you, but Simon tells me you've had a restraining order placed
upon me. And then I find out you're taking an expedition to New Zealand,
to explore one of the tribes there for a year, while finishing your dissertation.
In what seemed like a heartbeat, I lost everything. I lost you.
Because I hesitated telling you what you mean to me, you didn't want
anything I have to give you. You couldn't make the most of the platonic
love you thought I could only give you. And the damn thing about it
all, is that I know you're gonna regret it. Whenever, you look back
upon you're life, and you remember all the could have beens, you'll regret
it. I know you dream of fortune and fame, and you'll get it. It's just
a matter of time with your intelligence and drive. But it can never
take the place of what could have been.
I fell for the temptation of having someone in my life everyday, who
knew the greatest secret I could have. Hell, you're a part of that secret.
My guide!! The only person who can bring me back to reality. My other
self!
I fell for the idea of the anal, silent cop, who can't reveal what everybody
else knows. I did what I shouldn't have, and what was forever is not
forever anymore.
Please turn around. Come back to me. I don't want you to be just another
picture hanging on the wall, reminding me exactly what I did wrong to
push you away. I don't want your number to be just another number in
the phone book of my old and past acquaintances. You hold something
special in the palm of your hands. My heart. Come back!! Take another
look at me. You won't regret it.
But it's too late.
I can never get him back!
The end
Description:
This song is an instant trademark AOB classic, adding a new element such
as a nasty wah-wah rhythm guitar part. This is an incredibly moving song
composed by Ulf and John Ballard. A stellar vocal performance by Jenny
crowns this jewel produced by Ulf, Charles Fisher with additional production
by Stonestream and a final mix by David Leonard.
Words from the band:
A love song saying make the most out of your life -but
try sharing it with someone. Speaking from my own
experience in life and feelings. The idea came to me in front of
the fireplace after a day of skiing in Sierra Nevada. It's an experiment
to achieve a new sound
-Buddha