Archive of Our Own ^beta

Author's disclaimer: *sigh* I'll treat them real nice, can I have them?

Warning: This story is about fisting. If that's not your cup of tea, read something else.

Thanks and hugs to Lori for doing the fastest beta job in the universe.

Feedback is more than welcome and I'm armed with fireproof panties.

Extra note: nothing described in this story is fantasy concerning responses or precautions or technique. Everything Blair subjects Jim to is something I've done at some stage or another to my own sub(s). Trust me, I know what I'm doing! :)

Final note: STD's doesn't exist with MY version of the guys. Be safe in RL.

I looked over at Jim. He'd been cranky lately. His senses had been acting up, causing an even shorter fuse than normal.

I knew he hadn't been sleeping well, he woke me almost every night from another bad dream. They didn't quite reach into the realm of nightmares, but they were getting there.

It didn't help making love. That was most likely the fact that irked me the most. I'd been trying to exhaust him, totally draining him so he should have been able to sleep like a baby all through the night.

And yet... it didn't help.

Enough was enough. I'd been wondering how to get him to relax a rather daunting task since all the usual methods weren't working. No gentle loving, no breathing exercises, no meditation (when I could actually talk him into trying it) and no amount of talking about the case freaking him was helping.

Nothing.

I was pretty sure I'd found an answer though. Tonight I'd set my plan in motion.

Jim was at the station this afternoon. I'd had classes so I couldn't be there. What he didn't know, was that I'd cancelled my appointments after class and gone shopping instead.

Back home at the loft I started preparing a delicious yet light dinner, mainly foods that could be nibbled and sucked. Yeah, I had my intentions set for this night.

The last preparations to the loft and myself I did hurriedly, with only 10 minutes to spare before the love of my life would walk in through the door. A thorough cleansing of myself, a bit of a grooming ritual to hair and nails and the final touches: candles prepared upstairs and fresh sheets on the bed.

The other things I would need were always there... lube and baby wipes.

When finally Jim walked in, I was ready for him. I received him with a kiss and a long lasting hug.

"You looked like you needed that."

He sighed and nodded.

We sat at the table, sharing looks, food and kisses. No shop talk, nothing heavy.

I could see he was slowly relaxing, but there were still shadows in his eyes. I hadn't expected anything else. I let him relax while clearing the table and then turned towards him.

"Go prepare yourself, my Pet. I want you clean, inside and out. Meet me upstairs when you're done."

The classic double-take he performed was almost enough to make me laugh, but pure determination kept the smile from surfacing on my face.

"Master?"

The confusion on his face was endearing.

"What is it, my Pet?"

"We've never played here before..."

"I know. If you want me to stop, you know what to say."

"That's not it, Master. I just... I thought you didn't want it here, to keep this space for loving, not for play."

I went over to him and caressed his chest, brushing my fingers lightly over his nipples. He hissed.

"I'm not going to be hard on you. I'm going to attempt something we've never succeeded in before, and I want you to relax completely. This is a safe environment for you. Here you can relax. Here it will take place."

He stood thinking for a bit. I gave him his peace, not moving my hand, letting him weigh the options.

Finally he nodded.

"I'll go prepare myself, Master."

With that he turned and went into the bathroom. I couldn't keep the huge smile from venturing forth, didn't even want to. I felt like jumping up and down in joy, but settled for uttering a completely silent YES!

Switching off all lights and checking the locks was a task done in no time. Then I went upstairs and prepared myself, undressing completely and sitting down in a half lotus, waiting.

I'd been monitoring his progress as well as I could with normal senses, hearing first almost nothing, then the toilet flushing and the water turning on. I admonished myself to not start thinking of his body with the water sluicing down over it. That wouldn't do tonight. Tonight was not for wild sex.

Finally the water turned off and I slowly started surfacing from the light trance again. I was calm, centered, focused. I was ready for him.

He came up the stairs and kneeled down in front of me. I've always loved that sight: him kneeling before me, ready for whatever I would do.

With a smile I beckoned him up on the bed, scooting over so he could lie down next to me.

"Make yourself comfortable, my Pet."

He wiggled into place, lying on his side facing me. I uncurled myself and started caressing his face and neck, making him almost purr with pleasure. Slowly stroking over most of his torso I made him relax. Time for upping the ante. I brought my mouth into play as well, kissing him deeply, caressing his chest, almost but not quite massaging him. Then I descended to his nipples, licking and sucking them until they were highly sensitive, and as hard as they could be. I straightened up, letting him catch his breath and then slowly located the lube.

"I'm going to melt your bones tonight. I'm going to make you so hot, you won't be able to think a single thought. I'm going to love you deeper than you've ever been loved before. Are you ready, my Pet?"

He nodded.

"Do you give me your complete trust?"

Again a nod.

"Do you give me yourself?"

"I love you and I trust you, my Master."

With a big smile I opened the lube bottle. With slick hands I lubed up his cock lightly, teasing it to become even harder. I didn't linger long. No matter how wonderful it was to take him inside me, tonight was not for that. Sliding my hands further down I played with his silken balls, rolling them, making him gasp with the sensations.

A slight pressure to his inner thighs made him spread his legs and raise his knees upwards, giving me free reign and full permission.

His tiny nervous smile made me suspect, he knew what I was up to. That he kept going anyway was such an immense gesture of trust, it took my breath away.

I ventured further down, sliding a single finger over his opening. At the same time I leaned forward to kiss his taut belly. He arched towards the sensations. Slowly letting one fingertip glide into him, I continued the small kisses on him, dividing his attention effectively. He took it easily so I let the finger slide all the way in. I let it stay deep in him for a short while before starting to move it shallowly, gently moving it half an inch back and forth. When his muscles no longer gripped me fiercely, I pulled out and added another finger. Again he gasped at the feelings but let me in easily. I sped up a bit, letting my fingers slide almost completely out of him before pushing in again. Soon he arched towards me, trying to pull me in deeper.

I pulled out.

He whimpered almost soundlessly and I didn't keep him waiting long. Quickly adding more lube to my fingers I let three fingers slowly push into his ass. This was more of a stretch, but still nothing more than we'd done thousands of times before.

I changed the angle of my fingers lightly, searching, probing, THERE!

He moaned deep in his throat at the massage to his prostate.

I felt the muscles flutter around me, clenching and unclenching in a random pattern. After a while they though settled down to a more sedate rhythm and I knew he now was comfortable with the stretching of his hungry ass.

I started kissing his groin area again, distracting him from my actions... surreptitiously I again added lube to my hand, while still massaging his insides gently. He almost, almost didn't notice when I slipped in my pinky.

When he did notice, I knew it immediately. I was watching him closely for it. His eyes flew open and he quickly looked down to meet my eyes.

"Go for it, Master."

"I intend to, my Pet."

I flashed him a wicked smile and started finger fucking his ass with those four fingers and half of my palm. It was a stretch and I knew this could take a long while. I also knew that we might not get further than this, like the other times we'd tried it. This was the furthest we'd gone before comfortably. There'd always previously been too much pain in taking the last step, but I hoped tonight would be the exception.

I continued working on his wonderful ass, thrusting gently all the time, varying with massages to his prostate, but all the time working at relaxing him, letting him drift on a cloud of desire and trust.

And he did.

His cock was rock hard and dripping steadily, his eyes were tightly closed and his entire face showing that his attention was turned inwards.

After a long time he finally was loose and relaxed enough to attempt going further. I pulled my hand completely out of him, causing a whimper of loss to burst forth from him.

I soothed him with words of love. "Shhhh, my Pet. It's ok. I'll be right back with you. I just need to add more slippery stuff. Relax, my Pet."

I looked down his body to that hot hole of his. It was loose, gaping slightly, and twitching every now and then. He was hungry, very hungry.

I was going to feed him, thoroughly.

I lubed my entire hand generously, leaving my hand completely covered and almost dripping on the sheet. I shaped my hand into the slimmest form possible, straightening my fingers out into a wedge shape and keeping my thumb flush with my palm. I knew this was the only way his ass could widen enough to let me in.

I pressed up against his opening. The first part went easily, as always. Slowly I stretched him wider and wider, hearing him start to whimper as I got closer to my thumb joint. The closer to the widest point we got, the slower I moved. Twice I pulled slightly out again to add more lube. "This is it, my Pet. Now it's just one inch more, and you're having my entire hand inside you."

He moaned a bit louder as a sort of answer.

I took a deep breath and pushed.

From deep inside him a scream broke through and was cut off, as the widest point was reached... and passed.

His ass ring was now clenching on my wrist.

"You did it," I whispered reverently.

"You've got my hand inside your ass. God, this feels incredible."

I just rested my hand inside him, letting him adjust, and letting myself feel it. My mind was floundering, trying to find the words to describe to him how this made me feel.

"You're so hot. I can feel your heartbeat! It's all around my hand, pulsing. Your muscles... they're fluttering around me. Oh man, this is such a power trip!"

"Glad you enjoy it too," he ground out between gasps.

"Are you ok?"

"Just... just give me a minute. It feels good, but it's quite a stretch, you know?"

"Yeah, I know... take your time, I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to."

He opened his eyes and smiled to me. Then I felt a distinct pressure around my hand. He was squeezing my hand!

He moaned and I saw his cock twitch and start filling up again. He had deflated almost completely when I pushed in all the way.

"Please move, Master," he said in a low voice to me.

I flashed him a big smile and twisted my hand slightly in him. He gasped in reaction and filled even more.

"Tell me what you feel, Pet."

"Your hand... it's pressing directly on... oooooh yes, do that again, please!"

I had my thumb joint directly on his prostate and my wiggling put complete pressure on it.

I started thrusting shallowly in him, just a little bit back and forth. Then I paused.

"I'm going to try and fold my hand, ok?"

He nodded.

I used my thumb to push the tissues upwards so I could curl my hand up into a fist. His moans fortunately only indicated pleasure so I kept going.

I giggled a bit when I almost got tangled inside him; the situation was just so crazy. I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to explain THAT, if anything happened. Then I sobered up and concentrated.

Finally I got all fingers folded down. I moved my thumb into place as well and paused again.

"Feels good, Master. Keep going."

I smiled. He'd anticipated my question.

I fetched the lube again and poured some over my wrist. I pulled out a tiny bit to ensure nothing was uncovered with the slippery substance.

Then I started pushing in a bit deeper. Just gliding inwards until I reached the second set of muscles. The inner ring.

"Would you like to try and go deeper?"

He grunted but otherwise didn't indicate yes or no. I took it as the non-answer it was and went with what felt right. For now that was to move a tiny bit out and then push back in again.

His ass clenching around me was a heady feeling. I realized suddenly that my own erection had been completely ignored and actually didn't care about it. This felt far too good to interrupt for a simple hard-on.

He relaxed even more, splaying his legs wide, opening himself completely to me.

I sped up a bit, and started to gently push on that inner ring. I knew that set of muscles were operated involuntarily, so no matter how relaxed Jim was, if that set of muscles weren't convinced by me to open up, then they wouldn't, period.

Just to make sure everything was completely relaxed I slid my hand all the way out, unfurling my hand along the way.

"Turn over, my Pet."

He languidly rolled over to his belly and situated himself so his cock was underneath the pillow, legs still spread wide. He was spread like a feast, just for me.

I lubed up my hand again, taking care to lube further up my arm than before.

I teased his entrance with my fingers. He was so relaxed, but still really sensitive, and not just because of his Sentinel genes.

He wiggled on the pillow, arching his ass up towards me, inviting me back in with his whole being.

"You beg so prettily, my Pet."

I easily slid three fingers in and finger fucked him fast for a short while. Then I pulled out and started sliding my entire hand in again. He moaned loudly and arched even higher.

As easy as cutting butter I was all the way in again. He was way relaxed. At least his ass was. His cock was hard as a rock and nowhere near relaxed.

Back inside him I again curled my hand into a fist. This time it was easier, I knew how to push him out of the way, and him being more relaxed also helped a great deal.

Then I started working on the inner ring some more. Putting more pressure on it, and otherwise just working his ass over so well that he wouldn't know any other part of his body existed.

I heard his breath catch each and every time I put more pressure on his prostate and filed that information away for a bit later in this scene.

Finally I felt the ring start opening. I couldn't contain a little 'yeah' of victory. I followed through on the action and found myself suddenly sucked quite a bit deeper into him.

He surged back, crying out, and then started shaking all over.

I stilled the hand inside him and brought the other up to caress his back, while I leaned forward to plant small kisses on him.

I realized quickly that he wasn't exactly in pain, when I felt his ass contract heavily around my lower arm and wrist.

"Move, please move, pleasepleaseplease..."

I thrust in him, giving him deeper and harder strokes than before, listening to his deep orgasm.

I felt a tingle start in my own groin but ignored it completely. I would not abandon him right now.

I kept thrusting in him for as long as his contractions lasted. It seemed like it was going on forever. Time stood still for both of us: him caught up in a major high from coming, and me on a power trip of epic proportions.

Finally he slowed down and I gently and swiftly uncurled my hand and slipped it from his body. He gracefully collapsed down onto the sheet and just lay there. I looked down to my own cock and realized that I'd come without knowing it. My own seed was streaked over his legs and myself. I felt lethargy setting in, but knew that we'd hate ourselves if I didn't clean up at least a bit before falling asleep.

I grabbed the towel and wiped off most of the fluids with it: lube, come, his body fluids. Discarding the towel onto the floor I grabbed the wipes and cleaned him off completely. I rolled him over as gently as possible, so I could get the front of him. I needn't have worried... he was out like a light.

I smiled and just looked at him, relaxed, unguarded, fully satiated.

Shaking my head to clear it of fog, I made the effort to stand up and go downstairs to the bathroom. I needed to wash my arm or I'd regret it in the morning. The lube would not feel good on my hairs the next day.

Back upstairs I cuddled in with the man I love. He murmured something very indistinctly and then woke up more.

"Chief?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. It was wonderful."

"You're more than welcome. I love you."

"I love you too."

He was nodding off again, I could see it. It pleased me. I felt certain he wouldn't have any nightmares tonight.

I turned off the last light and kissed his throat lightly.

"Sweet dreams, my love."

He was already fast asleep.

End Matter At Hand.