Archive of Our Own ^beta

Author's disclaimer: These characters are the property of Pet Fly, not mine, altho I do borrow them sometimes. They don't seem to mind, really!

one of my Beta readers, and she offered the following to put here... She liked it, she really liked it!

Everyone on this list knows what I like to write, and I freely admit that SM stories are also what I like to read. In "The Sentinel" arena, this type of story is difficult to find, so when I found "The Package", I was thrilled.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a terrific story. It has motivation, character growth and realistic subculture atmosphere. It also has graphic description of events that might be disturbing to some. While I consider the elements of this story to be an realistic picture of Jim Ellison, those of you who don't like the "Cape" series will like this story even less. For those of you who are interested in the realm of sexual magic, this story will not disappoint.

Alexis Rogers

I would like to say that this story is as good as it is because of my wonderful Beta readers... Alexis, Ande, Debbi, Debra, Mark, and Theresa. Their insightful questions, comments, and nudges have made this story what it is. All mistakes are mine, the good stuff is due to them!

I would rate this an R for topic (SM/DS) and adult conversation. No actual sex occurs in this story, M/M relationships implied.

Please let me know what you think... Good and bad. I have several sequels running around in my head for this one (and one prequel), do you want me to write them?

The Package
By Elizabeth

It all started with the package that arrived in the mail for Jim.

It was an ordinary package, wrapped in brown paper. Although it was the size of a book, it was much lighter. The package was addressed to James Ellison, with no return address, and had been mailed the day before from the Cascade post office. After handing it to Jim, Blair noted the expressionless mask that he hated so much slide over Jim's face. Jim turned and walked up the stairs, leaving his keys and other things in a pile on the counter.

"Man, wonder what's in the box? I've never seen Jim just leave his stuff like that!" Blair muttered this so softly that Jim, even with his sentinel hearing, would not be able to make out the words. Not that Jim noticed.

When Jim came back downstairs, there was something different, not wrong, but different about him. He picked up his things, dropped his keys in the basket, then hung up his coat, continuing with his routine like nothing had happened.

"What's for dinner, Chief?"

Dragging his attention back to the here and now, Blair surveyed the contents of the refrigerator. "There's some leftover vegetable lasagna, or I can stir-fry some veggies and toss in some shrimp. Otherwise, there isn't much else...." At that moment, the phone rang. "Saved by the bell," Jim muttered as he reached for the instrument, cutting off Blair's monologue.

"Ellison.", Jim paused, " Sure, here he is." Handing the phone to Blair, Jim walked into the other room, commenting: "Whatever you want for dinner is okay by me, Chief." Settling down on the sofa, he half heard the Yeah's, the U-huh's, the Sure's that were Blair's sole contributions to the conversation. Jim was preoccupied with the thoughts rolling around his mind; thoughts brought about by the acquisition of the box that rested upstairs in the back of his closet. What was he going to do? Was he ready for the next step?

Blair got off the phone and returned to making dinner. "Hey, that was Mike, my buddy, some said my twin, from college. He's going to be in town this weekend for some party, and wanted to get together. Any problems if I take off about noon on Saturday?"

"Nah, I have some things I have to do Saturday night, some loose ends I have to wrap up. Go ahead, have fun with your friend."

Jim was relieved that Blair was going to be out of the loft for most of the day. It would give him time to do some serious thinking; to make decisions about what he really wanted, where his life was going, and how he was going to get there. Blair was so excited with the prospect of seeing his friend that he did not notice how quiet Jim was. The two men settled into their nightly routine, Blair cooking dinner, Jim getting up to set the table. No more was said about the weekend, but it was on their minds.

Blair noticed small changes in Jim over the next few days. When Blair was late for an eight o'clock class, and left the bathroom looking like a tornado hit it, he expected to hear about it when he returned that night. Instead, Jim quietly cleaned it up, and did not say a word. Blair forgot to do the shopping one day, and they ran out of eggs and milk. Jim went out in the rain for them, again not saying a word; he was quieter, more introspective. He did not seem to notice the occasional mess of papers that Blair left around the loft, and the few that he did notice, he just cleaned up, stacking them, and placing the pile in Blair's room. If Blair had not been so preoccupied himself with his plans for the weekend, he would have been even more worried than he already was.

<<Oh my god, what if he's tired of me? Is he distancing himself from me to make it easier to kick me out? Blair thought back to the free and easy way Jim had been around him, and contrasted it to the stiff formality that marked their interactions now. It was an easy jump to the assumption that he had overstayed his welcome, and that Jim was looking for a way to ease a certain longhaired grad student out of his life.

The week passed quickly, and all too soon it was Saturday morning. The doorbell rang. Bounding out of his room to answer it, Blair yelled, "Hey Mikey!!!! Come on in!" Throwing open the door, the two men grabbed each other in a huge bear hug, thumping each other's backs, then pulling back to give each other a long look. The only thing that broke it up was Jim, walking down the stairs.

"Hey Jim, this is my buddy, Mike. Mike, my roommate Jim. Mike and I were nearly inseparable in college. The trouble we used to get into...."

"Used to? What changed?" Jim interrupted as he approached the two by the door, causing Blair to laugh.

Mike looked up at the man who had taken over so much of his friend's life. He saw a tall, well-muscled man, whose years of living alone had etched themselves into his soul. He saw the conflict and the uncertainty as well, and hoped that Blair would survive this friendship with his soul intact. Mike knew his relationship with Jim was very important to him.

"Hi, I've heard a lot about you. It was nice of you to give Blair a place to stay when he was bombed out of his apartment." Mike held out his hand for Jim to shake.

Jim returned the searching look. "No problem. Blair has more than repaid me with his help," he said easily. "Hope you guys have a good time tonight; maybe you'd like to meet back here for brunch tomorrow? We can chat more then."

Twin was not the word Jim would have chosen to describe Mike and Blair. Mike was a good five inches taller than Blair, and his hair fell to the small of his back in soft waves that contrasted with Blair's tight curls. Too, Mike had the slender, rangy body of a runner, rather than Blair's compactly muscular build. The inky black of Mike's hair was a perfect complement to his light green eyes; eyes that were trying to search out every one of Jim's secrets, seeking to protect Blair. Jim could understand that, Blair generated that urge in those who looked beyond the faade, past the shallow gloss he presented to the world; the people who cared for him.

Jim nodded, and released the hand he had been shaking, glad that Blair had a friend like Mike on his side. Blair might need Mike, depending on how he took the news Jim was going to announce tomorrow.

He waved as Mike and Blair left, chattering a mile a minute. Neither of them was troubled by the fact that the other was talking just as much, and at the same time. Maybe twins was not such an off the wall description for them after all. Then Jim turned and walked up the stairs to think. He took the box out of his closet, and opened it, laying the objects it contained on his bed, stroking them, looking at them, wanting, and yet not wanting them. Deciding.

"He's going to kick me out, Mike. I just know it. What am I going to do?"

Blair walked backwards in front of his friend as they approached Mike's car. "I have tried to keep my feelings in, but he must have sensed something, he's been acting so... different... the past week. It is like he's distancing himself from me, withdrawing... I thought we were friends, but he has put up a wall, and I'm on the outside looking in."

Blair looked at Mike, and the despair on his face touched something deep inside Mike, something he thought he had squashed years ago when he realized that Blair would never view him with the type of love that Mike craved.

Blair was his best friend, and even though he felt more than Blair realized, wanted more than Blair could give, he would still help him try to realize his dreams. If Blair wanted Jim, Mike would help him get Jim.

"Let's wait until tomorrow and I'll help you. We'll figure something out, but can we try to forget this tonight, and just enjoy the party? I haven't been to one of these parties with you in years, and I'm really looking forward to it!" Mike put on his own pleading face, the one that never failed to get a laugh from Blair, and today was no exception.

Blair chuckled, and punched Mike on the arm. "Sure man, let's go get ready. I grabbed my stuff from storage after you called; it's in the trunk of my car. Hope it still fits!"

Blair bounced on his toes as he forced his concerns away, trying to get in the mood for his buddy. Even though Mike had never said anything, Blair knew how he felt, and tried to be as considerate of his feelings as he could. That Mike was willing to help him with his problems with Jim just showed how good a friend he was. "Who's hosting the party, anyway? I haven't connected with the scene here, didn't think it would be a smart thing to do, considering my connection with Cascade PD."

"Remember the older guy at the All Saint's Day party? The inventive one? Daniel. I've played with him at a couple of other parties, and discovered that he lives in Cascade. Last party I was at, he was there. He invited me, and when I mentioned that you lived here, told me to invite you also." Mike looked at the smaller man in front of him, and asked, "You going to play tonight? If so, I want first dibs... Haven't had a workout like the last one you gave me, since the last one you gave me." He sighed. "I really need one, too. I don't trust any of the bozos at these parties, and can't let go with them, but I really need the release."

"You still haven't found anyone else you'll let top you? Mike, what's up?" Blair shook his head, as he followed Mike over to his car. "You can top anyone, but the only person you'll let top you is me. What's wrong with this picture?"

"I don't trust anyone else. You, of all people, should understand that. I know that I'll take every precaution when I am topping someone, but I don't know that about anyone else, except you. Besides, you know you prefer to top tops." Mike grinned at Blair, not letting him get away with anything.

Grabbing his bag out of the back of his car, Blair got into Mike's car, and looked at him, seriously. "I don't know if I'll play or not, haven't been in the mood lately, but if I do, you'll be the first to know," Blair responded quietly. Then, with a deliberate effort to get into the mood, he continued, "You may regret it if I do decide to play. I have several years of catching up to do." Blair's grin was pure evil, and the sparks started to glow in his eyes as he conjured up ideas and plans.

Reaching the hotel, they continued making plans, Blair being deliberately oblivious when it came to Mike's questions about his plans for the party. The disagreement raged the entire way up the stairs, Blair still not being too fond of elevators, and down the hall, not stopping until they reached the door to Mike's room. Blair finally threatened Mike with "I won't even go to the party if you don't cut it out. No more questions until we get there."

After indulging himself in one of his favorite activities, brushing and braiding Mike's hair, Blair disappeared into the bathroom, and would not let Mike in. No amount of teasing or wheedling would sway Blair. "You'll see when we get there. Don't want to spoil the surprise," Blair said, coming out of the bathroom wrapped in a long coat. The coat stayed on all through dinner and no matter how much Mike tried, he could not get the slightest glimpse of Blair's outfit. The only thing Mike could see were the shoes on Blair's feet, and those did not look any different from the shoes he had on before.

"C'mon man, you're killing me here. I'll see it in a bit anyway, why not let me see now? Please...." Not even the most abject begging worked. When Blair was in this mindset there was absolutely no chance of him changing his mind. Not that Mike minded. Some of the best times he had ever had were a result of this mind-set, but half the fun was trying to get around it.

"Anticipation is part of the game," Blair reminded.

Mike stayed behind Blair when they got to the party. He wanted his first sight of the outfit to be from the back, what he considered Blair's best side, and he was not disappointed.

Blair entered the house, and took off his coat with a dramatic flourish. As Blair bent over to place his coat on the floor, Mike almost creamed his pants. Blair had on a pair of the softest, tightest jeans Mike had ever seen. They cradled his ass, cupping the cheeks, and clung tightly to the long muscles of his thighs. As he bent over, they proved without a doubt that Blair was not wearing any type of underwear whatsoever, clinging faithfully to every fold and crevasse, molding the hint of balls visible from this vantage point. They were so worn you could almost see the individual hairs that lined the crease between Blair's perfect cheeks. To top the jeans, a tan suede shirt graced Blair's upper body. The suede was pliant, supple, draping his back and shoulders, embracing his form in loving detail, while not constricting any movement he would ever, could ever, wish to make. When Blair turned around, Mike saw that the buttery soft shirt was open to the waist, framing the hair on his chest, before sliding into the waistband of those perfect jeans. A leather thong was threaded through an amulet, the panther centered between the edges of the shirt, midway down Blair's chest. The fetish peeked through the chest hair, and flashed in the light. Mike came a bit closer, and reached for the medallion, looking inquisitively at Blair.

"This is new, isn't it? Peruvian?"

"Yeah, Jim gave it to me... I never take it off." Blair grinned, bringing his hand up to protect the emblem from Mike's touch. "Don't touch it, man. I don't know why, but I feel uncomfortable if I take it off or if anyone but Jim or I touch it. Strange, huh?"

"No, it's personal, something the man you love gave you, even if he doesn't know you love him. I can relate." As he twisted away, the light splashed on the necklace he wore, the talisman Blair had given him all those years ago.

They walked toward the rumble of voices, Blair looking around at the different modes of dress, the different types of men milling about, his anthropologist's brain going into overdrive. This was the reason he had first attended a party of this type; the chance to closely study a sub-culture that was completely foreign to anything he had ever known. Blair had come to study, but stayed because it had touched something inside him that he had not even known was there. Blair was at the mercy of anyone and everyone with the type of life he had led. His mother, picking up and leaving at a moment's notice; his mother's boyfriends, deciding that they did not want him, or her, around anymore; the people in charge of his grants, deciding whether he would have the money to continue his studies or not; even Jim, whether he would have a place to stay tomorrow or not. Here, he could be in control. He made the decisions, controlled the outcome, and held the power. He liked the feeling.

Walking from one room to the other, Blair smelled beer. He stopped, looked around and noticed a guy holding a can. "Mike, come on, we're out of here!" Blair grabbed Mike's arm, and started walking toward the door.

"What's wrong, Blair? What happened?" Mike stood still and stared at Blair, wondering what had happened, what had changed Blair's mind; he had seemed to be looking forward to this party, to be having a good time.

"That guy was drinking beer! You know how I feel about people drinking and playing, especially after what happened. I am not staying if there's alcohol here." Blair pulled away from Mike, and walked towards the door again.

"Blair, look around! Daniel doesn't serve anything here stronger than the fake beer that guy was drinking. He won't let anything stronger in here, and if he finds someone who is not straight," Mike looked at Blair and snickered, as if anyone here would be straight, "you know, completely sober, he invites them to leave. I wouldn't bring you to a place where there'd be even a chance of someone getting out of hand. You should know that! I was the one who had to deal with the aftermath last time!"

Blair looked at his friend, and slowly nodded. "Yeah, I guess. Sorry, I just freaked." He started to look around again, and grinned, "I should've known better. You want to play; you wouldn't take that chance. Let's go have some fun!"

"So, can I assume from your mode of dress, that you are going to play tonight?" Mike was pushing, just a little, to see if he could goad Blair into starting something. Mike knew Blair liked to show off, even if he had no intentions of doing anything, and the way Blair was dressed did not mean anything, but he really wanted to have Blair dominate him. He was afraid Blair was going to decide not to play over some misguided desire to save himself for Jim, even though Jim had absolutely no idea Blair was into this, and, judging from the look of him, would not appreciate it if he did.

"Mike, I told you, if I decide to play, you will be the first to know! Now stop it, or I will make you stop." Blair looked at Mike as he said this, knowing that was what he wanted, and he was willing to tease him a little. He still did not know if he was willing to participate tonight, or just wanted to watch, but there was no reason not to warm Mike up, just in case he decided to play. "Do you really want to spend the rest of the party with your hands bound behind your back?"

Mike looked at Blair, and slowly started to nod. "If that is [that's] what it takes for you to be willing to play with me, I could live with it, man." <<I'd do anything for you, don't you know that yet? Mike held out his hands, crossed at the wrists, and waited.

Blair looked at Mike, then at his crossed wrists, then back at Mike again. "I'm not promising anything, but for now, consider yourself off-limits to everyone else here tonight." Blair reached a hand into his pocket, <<How can he fit anything in that pocket, much less a hand Mike wondered, and drew out a leather thong. He made a circular motion with his hand, gesturing for Mike to turn around, and cross his hands behind him. Wrapping the thong securely around his wrists, he warned Mike, "This had better not come loose tonight, or you will be tied up in a corner, and totally ignored. I will post a sign, and the closest anyone will come to you will be the cleaning crew at the end of the party."

Mike sighed with contentment; there was nothing he liked better than this feeling of belonging to Blair, even if it was only temporarily. Blair took Mike's braid and wrapped it around his neck, tucking the end of the braid under the start of the collar, for that is what it became when Blair started wrapping it. Blair had used Mike's hair as a collar before, that was one reason he would never cut it, not since the first time Blair had used it that way.

"Follow me, don't get more than two paces away unless I give permission." Blair started off, weaving his way in and out of the people standing around, making no attempt to make things easy on Mike. If Mike wanted Blair to play tonight, he was going to have to work for the privilege. As he walked he overheard different people talking about the big scene that was supposed to be happening later that evening. Their host's sporadic partner was reputed to be arriving later. Those who had viewed the scenes between the two were busy informing everyone else what a treat they had in store for them. "This man was not a submissive", "There is not a submissive bone in his body, man.", "Daniel really has to work.for it." There were a lot of men commenting, but they were all saying the same basic thing. The anticipated partner was not a regular attendee of these parties. He just showed up infrequently, did an awesome scene, and left. No one even knew who he was, or if they did, they were not telling.

Blair turned his head and looked at Mike, struggling along behind him. "Wonder who he is? It should be interesting, maybe I can pick up a few tips." Blair grinned at Mike, who shook his head and responded, "You don't need to learn anything new, Blair. Believe me, as the last person you practiced on, you are quite perfect just the way you are!"

Blair ran his hands down his own body, angling his fingers in towards his cock when he reached his groin, and raised an eyebrow at Mike. "Perfection, is it? Maybe you do deserve me."

Mike groaned and trembled, his cock hardening at Blair's teasing.

Blair knew what effect he had on Mike, and was not above using those responses to further torment his friend. Looking at Mike now, he decided that he would like to play tonight, after all. He would let Mike goad him into playing, making him work for his pleasures.

Blair turned and started off again, his trim backside swaying gently with his passage. Mike just stood there, mesmerized. "I thought I told you that you were never to be more than two paces away?" Blair's quiet voice broke through Mike's preoccupation with Blair's ass, and he realized with a start that he was in deep shit. As he hurried towards Blair, the anticipation growing, he started reviewing every groveling move he had. He had broken a direct order, and judging from the look on his face, Blair was not pleased. Reaching Blair's side, he dropped to his knees, and rested his head on Blair's foot. "I'm sorry, really sorry, man. I was so caught up in looking at you, it didn't register that you were actually moving." Mike raised his head, looking hopefully up into Blair's face, yearning for forgiveness, but not expecting it. He did not get it.

Blair nudged him up with his knee, and pushed him over to the padded bench by the side of the room. He unwrapped the thong around Mike's wrists, and ordered, "Strip." Just that one word, spoken in such a calm, quiet voice, had the power to bring Mike to his knees again. Mike raised trembling hands to his shirt, and began to unbutton the buttons, one by one. Taking care not to dislodge the braid from around his neck, he removed the shirt, and placed it to the side. Glancing up at Blair again, he lowered his hands to his pants, and undid the snap. The intent look that Blair had on his face only served to further inflame Mike's arousal, and it was difficult to unzip the tight jeans without injuring himself.

"Told you to wear briefs, Mike." Blair had no visible sympathy for Mike's predicament, but the amusement in his soft voice told a different story. Mike raised his hips, trying to suck in his stomach enough to get a hand down his jeans, between the zipper and his cock, for protection. He hissed at the touch of his hand on his cock, and Blair said sharply, "Don't you dare come, Mike. You do, it will be the last time this weekend you sit down, much less think about coming again!" Blair loved this aspect of the scene. He enjoyed the reactions he got, the fact that it was his actions that caused these reactions.

Mike whimpered and nodded his head, fighting the sensation of his hand on his cock, and forced the zipper down. He removed his hand with a sigh of relief, gasping as the cooler air of the room brushed against his over-stimulated cock, fighting against orgasm. It really was not fair that Blair did not see these scenes in a sexual manner, he did not realize what a turn-on it was, having someone in complete control of your every move, deciding whether you could come or not, whether you could even touch yourself or not. He did not know how difficult it was, fighting, holding back until he received permission, until he was ordered to come for his master's pleasure. Blair also did not know the pleasure, when finally given that permission. The release of tensions. The satisfaction. He finished removing his shoes, and jeans, then sat back on his heels, gazing up at Blair, waiting for his next order.

Blair grinned at the sight of Mike, kneeling there, bare, wanting, waiting. "You remembered that I like you shaved. Good. Now, up here." Blair patted the bench, and reached into his pocket for more of the thongs. Arranging Mike on the leather bench, belly down, his exposed cock and balls hanging off the padded edge, he started to wind the first thong around Mike's leg and the leg of the bench. As Blair repeated the motion with the second thong, and Mike's other leg, he said, "These thongs are not tied, just wrapped. You are responsible for them staying in place, and if one starts to get loose, you need to tell me. Understand?" Mike, beyond coherent sentences, just grunted and nodded. Blair, keeping a hand on Mike's body at all times, walked around the bench and squatted beside Mike's head. "Are you okay here? Still remember your safeword? I need you to say it for me, man. I have to make sure we are on the same page here."

Mike, pulling himself back out of the headspace he was dropping into, succinctly said, "Ancestors." Blair nodded, and stood up, patting Mike on the back as he did so. "I'll be right back, gotta go get my stuff." Blair looked down at Mike, as he dropped his head back down onto the bench. <<Man, I love being able to do this to him. With just a few words, and a gesture here and there, he is mine, to do with as I will. Blair walked to the coatroom, where he had left his bag, gathering a few looks on the way and, as he returned with the bag, people followed him.

"Hey man, mind if we watch?"

Blair shook his head, "Just don't make any noise. He's in his own space right now, and I don't want anything to jar him out of it." A sizable crowd had followed Blair back to the side of the room where Mike lay and sat in a half circle around the area. They were familiar with the protocols, and waited quietly.

Blair again approached Mike and took a couple of soft silk scarves out of his bag. He tied Mike's hands to the front legs of the bench. Laying his selection of implements out on the floor, Blair quietly asked one of the guys sitting close to them, "Would you be willing to hand them to me as I ask for them? I don't want to stop once I get into it, he does better that way."

"Yeah, sure. Just let me know which one you want."

Blair nodded, and turned back to Mike. He placed his hand on Mike's back, and started to slowly stroke up and down, alternating his caress from one side of the spine to the other. As Mike relaxed, Blair moved his hand down to Mike's ass, rubbing harder, kneading the cheeks, bringing both hands to bear on the succulent ass in front of him. Suddenly, he brought one hand down with a sharp CRACK, creating more noise than sting for his first blow, but causing Mike to jump. <<Oh man, this is what it's all about. Mike is turned on, gets his rocks off, gets his release, but I get this power trip. Every sensation Mike is experiencing is because of me, every reaction is to something I have done, I control when he orgasms, or even if he does. I can play him like a puppet, he dances to my tune, he responds to me, and only me. This is power. Alternating hands and the strength of the blows, Blair paddled Mike's buttocks, occasionally striking the upper thigh, or the side of his hip, but concentrating on the pink ass in front of him.

Mike started to sigh, and squirm as his posterior heated up, and he relaxed even further, merging with the gentle pain. He remembered the way Blair worked, and all of the best sessions started with this gentle warm-up, bringing his nerve endings slowly alive, raising his tolerances for pain gradually, never too much, but always enough. This was one of the reasons he would follow Blair anywhere, this ability to play him to perfection, to give him the release he needed, he yearned for.

Blair looked over at the guy sitting next to his tools and softly asked for the green cat. It was his softest, made of supple elk skin, perfect for starting. Mike had given it to him to celebrate the first time Blair had caused Mike to orgasm during a session, during a whipping. It had special memories, and so far, the only person he had used it on had been Mike. He raised it, and establishing a rhythm, started to swing it at Mike's ass. It made a nice thwack sound, and Blair knew from experience it felt like a dull thud against the ass or upper back. Unless the skin was so sensitized from previous attention, it was impossible to hit too hard with this whip. Moving alternately from Mike's unmarked back, to the pink, shading to red ass, Blair continued to stripe the body before him. Mike moved restlessly, indicating it was time to move on to something with more bite.

Blair commanded, "The blue one." The blue whip was placed in his hand as he reached back, and without missing a stroke, he brought it down. The first time he had used this whip, he had misjudged its strength, and had left marks on Mike that had lasted a week. Blair had refused to use it again until Mike had bullied him into it, threatening to never bottom for him again if he did not. That had been one of the hardest lessons for Blair to learn: that Mike sometimes wanted the marks, wanted to know, to remember the attentions Blair had left on his body.

As the whip touched his back, Mike jumped and started to grind his cock against the end of the bench. The heat in his body translated down to his cock as it always did, inflaming him, arousing him. If Blair worked it right, Mike would climax just as he finished, as his arm became too tired to swing a whip anymore.

Blair ran his hand down Mike's back, smoothing the hot flesh, gentling the tremors that ran through his frame. He pressed an openmouthed kiss to Mike's spine, at the base of his neck, and licked a line halfway down his back, leaving a glistening trail in his wake. Blowing as he raised his head, Blair grinned down at his friend, watching him writhe with the sensation. Blair preferred the teasing to the whipping, but could give Mike whatever he needed, and tonight Mike needed the tantalizing just as much as he needed the harder attentions. Grabbing a rabbit fur from the pile of equipment at his feet, Blair stroked it along Mike's body; letting the edge just catch the cock and balls hanging at the junction of his thighs, grazing the side as it ran up the back, brushing along the shoulders and the neck, causing goose bumps to form. Alternating the soft caresses with sharp slaps, never letting Mike know where the next blow would fall, or whether it would even be a stroke of the hand, or of the fur. The skin was so sensitive right now, even the touch of a fingernail along the tender flesh was enough to drive Mike further into the zone where nothing mattered but feeling. The endorphins had kicked in, heightening the sensations to a point where the thin line between pleasure and pain disappeared.

Switching to yet another cat, this one of cured leather, Blair let it fall onto the quickly reddening back in front of him. Using this one gently, since it was his harshest one, he just let it fall on Mike, over and over again. Mike was rubbing his cock harder and harder. When Blair reached down and grasped the swaying balls, Mike froze. He looked back at Blair, eyes wild, and begged, "Please man, you gotta let me come. Please...."

Blair nodded, and grabbing a paddle from the helpful young man behind him, he started to rain a flurry of blows on Mike, driving him farther and farther along his journey towards completion. "Come for me, Mike, come for me. Come for me now." Mike was moaning non-stop, thrashing around, trying for the maximum sensation, thrusting his ass up for more, thrusting his cock down for more, driving toward the only final outcome he would tolerate. Suddenly, Mike tensed, then went boneless, almost insensate, as his climax roared through him.

Blair took the blanket offered, and wrapped it around his trembling buddy. After he unwrapped the bonds, he pulled Mike's oblivious body down into his lap and cradled him until he recovered. Blair started to unwrap the braid from around Mike's neck, but Mike reached a hand up to stop him.

"Please leave it there. I like the feeling of belonging to you, even if it is only temporary, and mostly my imagination. Please."

Blair just nodded, and enclosed Mike in his arms again. Mike clasped him close and, tears falling freely, went limp. <<So safe, so protected. Blair won't let anything happen to me; he'll take care of me. I can let it all go. Is it any wonder that I love him so? Lying his head on Blair's shoulder, Mike murmured to him, "Thanks, man. That was better than you have ever been before. Gods, I miss you! Love you, man."

Blair pressed his lips to the top of Mike's head as he cradled him close. <<I love him, just not the way he wants. I'm not in love with him. Sometimes I wish I could be in love with Mike, it'd be easier than being in love with a man who doesn't love me. It'd be easier than being in love with Jim.

Later, Blair and Mike stood watching another scene. Mike was still wearing only his hair collar and while Blair was still fully dressed. Both of them were leaning lightly against each other, still basking in the glow of a good scene, feeling the connection that such an experience brings. A rustle started, as heads turned towards the door, people started to murmur, and the tension in the room rose to a fever pitch. Blair turned his head towards the door along with everyone else in the room, and froze. His eyes widened, his heart pounded, and sweat broke out over his entire body. His body flushed with heat then turned ice cold, as he looked at the magnificent male who walked through the door.

It was Jim, but a Jim that Blair had never seen before. This Jim had soft black leather wrapped around his throat, and around each wrist. He had on a short, black leather vest, open, framing his bare chest and the thong that held the amulet that was the mate to Blair's. His skin was glowing, as if it had been oiled, and the muscles moved sleekly as he shifted. The black leather pants were form fitting, molding every muscle, ending just above Jim's bare feet. It was the bare feet that were the last straw for Blair. So vulnerable... So erotic...

Jim paused just inside the door, his Guide's heartbeat filling his ears, his scent identifiable over the countless other odors that filled the room. Jim paused and turned his head, gaze going immediately to Blair, and he nodded just the slightest amount. Not enough for any casual observer to notice, but enough for Blair to know that Jim knew he was there. Jim's impassive face gave no clue to the emotions that were spiking through him at the sight of his Guide. His mind was racing, envisioning certain disaster.

<<What is Blair doing here? Does he know what really goes on here, or is he here for the first time, observing? I'm going to kill Mike for bringing him here, if it ruins everything! Then, almost as an afterthought, <<What if it's not his first time...what role does he play? Can't tell from his clothing...

Jim continued his forward progress, walking towards the host, moving with an unconscious arrogance, everyone in his path scrambling to get out of his way. Reaching Daniel, Jim gracefully folded to his knees, sitting back on his heels, hands resting on his thighs, head up, looking directly at Daniel.

"James, what happened when you came in?" Daniel murmured in a voice too quiet for anyone but Jim to hear. "I have never seen you break concentration like that."

"Blair's here," Jim replied softly, his eyes darkening at the thought.

Daniel reached down and framed the side of Jim's face with one large hand. "Are you going to be okay tonight?" Jim leaned his head into the hand that cupped his face so tenderly. He may serve this man, but the trust and caring were genuine on both their parts.

"You know that once I put on the leather straps from the package you sent me, I'm yours to command, until you take them off of me." Jim looked up with a rueful grin. "I have to go through with this tonight." Looking down again, Jim added, "The alternative is unthinkable."

"Blair is your Blair?" Daniel questioned. "The long-haired beauty standing beside the one using his hair as a collar?"

Jim nodded. "Yeah, he's standing with the one who looks like he was ridden hard and put away wet. His name is Mike, and he's a friend of Blair's." Jim grinned briefly. "I should have gotten here earlier, I would have loved to see that scene, and watch whoever worked him over so well. You can practically see the glow from here! Do you know who did it?"

Daniel grinned, and responded, "Blair did." At the look of shock in Jim's eyes, Daniel explained, "I've known them both for about 5 years now, and Blair is one of the best tops I've ever seen. If I had known that he was your Blair, I would have laid your fears to rest sooner."

The shock in Jim's eyes changed to arousal, as he processed the information. Jim's breath quickened, and his eyes darkened. His body hardened, and he involuntarily looked over at Blair, where he stood next to Mike. <<Blair was a top. From the look of it, a good top. Maybe the change I am planning to make is possible, after all.

Daniel did not let Jim get too distracted; he walked away, leaving Jim to scramble after him. Falling into his customary position, a step behind, and to the left of Daniel, Jim followed smoothly, weaving around the other guests, never leaving his proper position. Daniel turned his head slightly, speaking just loud enough for a man with normal hearing to be able to hear him; "You're going to dance for us tonight. I've had several requests from those who've seen you dance before, and from those who have only heard about it. Do you need to warm up?"

Jim shook his head, "No, I warmed up before I came over, not knowing what you had planned for tonight. I came prepared for anything." He looked a bit apprehensive, not liking to dance in front of strangers, but having no choice if Daniel wanted him to do it. "You will keep them away from me, won't you? You know what happened last time." <<Ohmygod, I have to dance in front of Blair. What will he think of me? What will he think of my dancing? I can't tone it down, have to do my best, have no choice, but Blair is here! Will he still want to be around me, seeing this side of me? Will he still look up to me, and respect me, want me as a friend, much less anything else? The thoughts continued to roll through Jim's mind, almost distracting him enough to miss Daniel's sudden stop in front of Blair and Mike. Almost.

"Hello Blair, Mike. Enjoying the party so far?" Daniel looked at the two of them, and tried very hard not to laugh. Blair was gazing wide-eyed at Jim; he did not even notice that Daniel was talking to him, and Mike was trying to get Blair's attention without being obvious about it. For Blair, nothing else in the room existed but Jim, and Mike was having a hard time attracting his notice. Jim, on the other hand, was standing there with absolutely no expression on his face, looking off into the distance, trying to be invisible. Daniel knew the first meeting between Jim and Blair, in this setting, would be difficult, and would continue to be awkward until they had a chance to talk, but he was not going to let Jim get away with this retreat. "I believe you know James?"

"Yeah, Hi Jim." Blair pulled himself out of his daze long enough to answer.

"When he's in this setting, here, he is James," Daniel informed Blair. "It's not such a big thing, but it helps Jim differentiate between this and his other persona."

"Okay, I gotcha, man. Hi James." Blair could not suppress a grin at the look, or rather the lack of a look on Jim's face. He had never seen Jim this flustered before so that he had to retreat this far into himself; usually he could read Jim's face, even if everyone else saw an expressionless mask.

Mike just nodded.

Daniel looked back at Jim, and seeing the distant expression on his face, decided not to let him get away with it. He deliberately introduced the one subject he knew Jim would prefer not to talk about in front of Blair. "I just thought I would tell you that James is going to dance tonight. It's not something you want to miss. I'm taking him over to get ready now; so you might want to get your spot. He'll start in about 10 minutes."

A slow flush crept over Jim's face. His eyes looked everywhere but at Blair, but he could hear the sudden increase in Blair's heartbeat, and smell his arousal. Maybe his guide was not as disinterested as he had feared. <<I will make this a show Blair will never forget. Maybe I will have a chance to capture his heart. I really want his heart to be mine. All mine.

"Where's he going to dance?" Blair asked Daniel. He did not miss the tinge of pink on Jim's face, but decided not to mention it. He knew how hard this type of thing was for his partner, exposing himself to strangers, and did not want to add to his difficulties. He wanted to see Jim dance, could not wait to see Jim dance.

"Right over there, by the platform. James will be up there, where no one can touch him. We had some problems last time, with people mobbing him, and in this state, he can't do anything about it, so I protect him from everyone else."

Blair was surprised by the rush of anger he felt at the mention of others touching his Jim. If anyone wanted to get near Jim tonight, they would have to go through him first! On the heels of that thought came the next one: that it was not his place to protect Jim here, and he did not like that. After this evening was over, maybe they could have a talk, and if Jim needed this, perhaps he would be willing to let Blair take over. Blair did not want anyone else to have his or her hands on Jim, or have anyone else responsible for Jim's safety. That was Blair's job!

Jim turned to Daniel, and requested softly, "May I choose the music tonight? I have something special in mind." Daniel looked from Jim to Blair, and nodded. "Put it on, then get ready. ShowTime in five." He then turned to Blair and Mike and escorted them to a spot where they would have the best view. He knew Blair would need to be in the front, where he could keep an eye on Jim, and Jim would dance better if he knew Blair was there.

Jim put the CD in the player and took off his vest. He walked over to the platform, and did some stretches, keeping his muscles limber. As he flexed and bent, people started noticed, and assumed the show was about to start, so they wandered over to the platform.

Blair was jostled about by the others maneuvering for position until Mike stepped in to protect him with his larger body. "Don't want you to kill anyone tonight for getting in between you and the big guy over there, do we?" Mike whispered in Blair's ear. "And unless I misread everything, if anyone even looks like they're going to get too close to you, Jim, errr James is going to be over here so fast, discipline or no. I don't want to be responsible for him getting in trouble, because I didn't protect you!"

Blair looked up at Mike irritably. "Hey, I can take care of myself, you know! I don't know where you big guys get this idea that just because I am short, I'm helpless." Then, looking around at the crush, as more and more people approached the platform, he relented, "But thanks anyway, Mike. There are times when having a big body between me and them is a safe feeling."

The lights dimmed dramatically. Blair could barely make out Jim's form as it walked towards the middle of the stage.

The music started, slow and heavy. A drumbeat gave the pace, and the languid sound of a sax wove its music in and around the throbbing rhythm. A spotlight slowly brightened on Jim, showing him standing in the center of the stage, his head bowed, and his hands clenched, wrists crossed in front of him. He was wearing the skintight pants, and still had the soft black leather wrapped around his throat and wrists, but except for the black thong holding the counterpart to Blair's amulet, that was all. His bare feet were planted firmly on the wooden floor, shoulder width apart, and as the volume of the music rose, one heel started to keep the beat, rising and falling in time with the music, thigh muscles flexing.

Jim danced. He danced for Blair, tightening his body, showing off, all for Blair. Any chance he could, he watched Blair, looking at him, noticing the elevated heartbeat, sensing the pheromones, watching for Blair's reactions to his movements. When he noticed a move that heightened Blair's response, he remembered, and repeated the move. He was willing to do whatever it took to form a lasting bond with his guide.

Blair stared, transfixed by the sight before him. Jim looked magnificent, like a primeval warrior ready for battle. Blair watched the extraordinary body undulating before him and shivered, riveted until Jim lifted his head. The expression on Jim's face blew Blair away. He expected the closed expression that Jim normally wore or possibly even the withdrawn expression he had on earlier in the evening. What he did not expect was the totally open face in front of him. Every emotion Jim was experiencing showed as it flowed across his countenance. The joy, the embarrassment, the arousal, and when his gaze met Blair's, the love. Blair could not say what Jim's body did after that, he was captured by the expressions chasing over the beloved face before him. Blair learned more about Jim in the fifteen minutes he watched him dance, than he had in the two years he had lived with him.

"You see it, don't you?" The voice startled Blair; he had not heard Daniel come up behind him. Not that he would have heard an elephant, either. "I knew that once you saw his face, you would notice nothing else, and know the reason behind my having James dance. Everyone else just sees the body moving. After he's finished, I'm going to settle him in that corner over there. Would you mind if Mike guards him? I need to talk to you."

"Sure, after," Blair was still focused on the stage in front of him, and the man on it. The music had quickened, and the dance still echoed the beat. Jim's hips were snapping from side to side, his shoulders swaying, and the sinuous curve of the back arched when Jim faced away from Blair.

As the music rose to a climax, Jim stretched his arms high above his head, and displayed his body to the small man standing before him. This was his last chance to influence Blair, to draw Blair to him, permanently. Every muscle on Jim's chest stood out in sharp relief, the nipples pointed, his arms corded with the effort of the dance. Showing clearly through the black leather that defined his crotch was the prominent bulge of his cock. Jim's chest gleamed with sweat and his thighs trembled. He held that pose for a long moment, than dropped into a crouch, curled in upon himself as the music ended, and the spotlight went out.

Blair remembered to breathe again as he turned to Daniel, his eyes wide. "Wow... I don't know what to say!" He reached down to adjust himself, his body on fire as he continued, "Did you teach him to dance like that? I never knew he had it in him to move like that. Wow."

Daniel jumped up on the platform and guided Jim to a chair near the corner of the room as Blair gently pushed Mike in the same direction. "You need to keep him safe for me. You okay with that?"

Mike smiled and nodded. <<If I can't have you, he is the only other person whom I would trust with your happiness. He will keep you safe, and loved. I'll keep him safe, for you.

Jim looked back at Blair as he was conducted away, his heart in his eyes, pleading for... what? He didn't know what he was pleading for, but he focused his hearing and was reassured when he heard Blair whisper, "I'll be there in a minute, big guy. That was awesome, you're incredible... but I have to talk to Daniel first. Don't listen." With that, Blair followed Daniel into the other room.

"What did you see during the dance, Blair?" Daniel leaned against the wall, his casual posture in direct counterpoint to the importance of the question.

"I saw Jim, James, open to himself, in touch with his emotions, like I have never seen him before. I always knew he felt things deeply, but he walled it away, not letting it out. He has always censored what he allowed himself to feel; if it didn't fall under what he thought was acceptable for him to feel, he didn't." Blair looked at Daniel, "Is that why he comes to you?"

"That's one of the reasons. You'd be surprised at how many people would only see a man dancing; a sensual, sexy man dancing, true, but just a man dancing. Most don't look behind the mask, don't make the effort to see what's there, behind the control. That's one of the things that impressed me about you, this ability you have to see what's important, not what's expedient. Do you realize how important this is to James?"

"Yeeesssss... I think so. It's what keeps him from cracking under the strain. How long have you two been together, like this?" Blair peered at Daniel, hopefully. "Do you think it would be possible to transfer your role to me? I want, need to do this for him, for me. If he would be willing, that is."

"James and I served together in the Army; he was in charge of our platoon. A couple of the guys snuck out one night and were ambushed. They were captured, tortured to death and James felt responsible. There was nothing he could have done, but that didn't matter to him. They were his charges, and he felt he should die too. He was so young, and felt accountable for their actions... I came across him as he was about to blow his brains out, and managed to talk him out of it. We came to an understanding that whenever he felt like that, he would come to me, and I would punish him, give him whatever absolution was possible. It worked while we were in the service, and it evolved into what we have now, when we were discharged. I taught him what I could, not to lessen his impact, but to enable him to live with himself. He can't save the world, as much as he'd like to, as much as he tries to, and he has to deal with the results when he fails." Daniel glanced over at Jim, making sure he was still okay.

"James came here tonight to sever our responsibility, our obligation for each other. He has tried to do this twice before, and both times he came back, not able to make it on his own without me and this relationship. He did this for you, not feeling free to approach you while he had a commitment to me. He loves you, Blair, and I know he's hoping to introduce you to this, hoping you could take over for me, if you're willing. I think you can do this, probably better than I can, because you care more than I do. I care for James, but I don't love him like you do."

Blair looked at Daniel with tears in his eyes. "Thank you man, for being there for him. I can't even imagine a world without James Ellison in it. Do you really think I can help him out here? I know it's selfish, but I don't want anyone else's hands on him, I don't want him to look to anyone else for what he can get from me. If it's something I can't give him, I'll have to learn to deal with it, but if it's something I can do, I want to!"

"I think you'll do fine, Blair. Now let's go join the others, you can talk to James about this, if you want, and decide which way to go." With that, Daniel ushered Blair out of the alcove they were in, and went to join the others.

Mike and Jim were just sitting there, not talking to each other. Mike was on the floor, in front of Jim, leaning back against Jim's legs as he sat in the chair, and Jim had his hand on Mike's head, where it rested next to his knee. They both looked up, their hearts in their eyes, as the most important man in their lives walked into the room.

Blair caught the look from both of them and felt a powerful wrenching in the vicinity of his heart. <<What have I ever done to deserve that kind of feeling from one of them, much less both of them? What am I going to do? I'd lay down my life for Jim, but what can I do for Mike? It hurts, knowing how he cares. Hell, I can admit to myself how he loves me, and not be able to do anything about it! How am I going to make this right to him?

Mike jumped up as the men approached, and grabbed a chair for Blair to sit in. Jim got up and offered his chair to Daniel, then sat at Daniel's feet where he could watch Blair. Mike settled down at Blair's feet, mirroring Jim's pose. They all sat there for a few minutes; Jim watching Blair, Blair watching Jim, Mike watching Jim and Blair, and Daniel watching all three of them.

"Blair and I were talking about the possibility of transferring your service to him, James. Do you have anything to say about that?"

Startled, Jim looked back at Daniel, hope warring with doubt in his eyes. "I, uh, yes, but... how... " Incoherent did not quite describe Jim's state, but he could not seem to get two words out in the correct sequence. He looked back at Blair, and, eyes shining, asked, "Do you think, I mean, are you sure, could you..."

Mike laughed, and patted Jim on the knee, shaking his head. "Man, you have it bad! Take a deep breath, he's not going anywhere..." Once he had decided something, he went for it wholeheartedly; and Mike had decided that Blair and Jim needed to be together, no matter what the personal cost to himself. Mike looked back at Blair, "You want to jump in here? I'm not so sure that James can keep up his end of the conversation without some help."

Blair looked down at Mike, then over at Jim and nodded. "Sure... James, I want to take over for Daniel, if it meets with your approval. If you want to ask me anything, anything at all, now would be the time; I'll answer any question you have for me." <<Mine, he is going to be mine. He looks as if he wants this as much as I do, I hope I can be what he needs. It'd kill me to be unable to be what he needs me to be. God, I love him. Hope he still wants me, after he finds out all about me.

"How long have you been doing this?" Jim looked amazed that he was able to string two words together, much less complete an entire coherent sentence. "What experience do you have?"

Blair looked down at Jim, and smiled. "I've been doing this for eight or nine years; Mike took me to my first party when we were undergrads. It satisfied something inside me, and I never looked back! You have my permission to talk to Mike, he knows everything I've done, he was there for most of my scenes, the ones he wasn't in, that is." Blair sat quietly, and waited for any other question.

Daniel broke in, "Do you mind if I ask a question?" When Blair acquiesced, he asked, "Have you always been a top, or have you ever bottomed? I believe that a top should experience being a bottom, before he can be a good top."

Jim looked piercingly at Blair as his heartbeat spiked sharply in response to the question. Blair's temperature rose, and sweat broke out on his body. He started trembling, and dropped his face down into his hands. "Yes," he replied brokenly, "once. It was not an experience I would want to repeat."

Mike rose up and put an arm around Blair protectively, asking, "Blair, want me to field this one?" At Blair's nod, he explained, "I think it was Blair's third party, when some guy talked him into bottoming, telling him the same thing as you did, Daniel: that Blair couldn't be a good top if he hadn't experienced being a bottom. Blair didn't know enough, what questions to ask, what precautions to take, and agreed. This guy was drunk, and didn't listen when Blair told him that it wasn't a sexual thing for him, and so tried to get a rise out of him. When Blair was incapable of getting it up in response to his ministrations, the guy lost it, and really started going to town on him. Blair ended up with bleeding welts on his back, across his ass, and down his thighs. The bruises didn't go away for weeks. His nipples were swollen to three times their normal size, and so abused that Blair couldn't wear anything on his upper body for three days. The guy had shoved a huge dildo up Blair's ass, trying to excite him, and he was bleeding there as well. To this day, Blair can't handle anything in his ass; he freaks. By the time we finally got this guy off him, Blair was so traumatized, and in so much pain, that he passed out. He refused to attend another party for almost a year. I don't think there's a person alive Blair would trust enough to bottom to now. Blair also won't attend a party where there is any kind of mind altering substances present." Mike paused and looked at Jim and Daniel, "I think this experience has taught Blair to be the type of top he is, one who cares for those under his care, one who errs on the side of caution, rather than risk going too far." Mike grinned, "I have to push him sometimes, to get him to go far enough, but he will, as long as he knows you, and understands your limits."

During Mike's emotionless narrative, Daniel had to physically restrain Jim. He was ready to go out and find the guy who had hurt his guide, and make him pay. Jim's eyes were flashing, and his muscles tensed, ready to violate his oaths to the police department, and risk jail, to avenge Blair. If the swine had been present, Mike would not have given two cents for his chances of survival.

"Relax, James. I took care of this guy, with the help of a couple of friends. He couldn't walk for three weeks, and hasn't dared show his face since." Mike rested his other arm, the one that was not around Blair, on Jim's leg, patting him gently. "It was a long time ago."

Jim acquiesced, but this revelation raised another question. "I know how strongly you oppose violence, and with this, do you think you will be able to give me what I need? Will you be able to give me the discipline, the punishment that I need?"

Blair visibly pulled himself together, and answered, "I think I can, it will be something you need, with your implied consent, not something forced upon you. That will make all the difference to me. What happened to me was not with my consent, and it didn't stop when I wanted it to. You'll have your safewords, and I'll need to take the time to learn your responses, to work with Daniel, before I fully trust myself, but I believe it can be done, if you're willing."

"Uh, Blair, I don't have safewords. That counteracts the entire point of putting myself totally under someone else's control." Jim looked up at Blair, trying to read his face, to see if this had any chance of working the way that he required it to work.

"Until I know you well enough, you will have to have safewords, or I won't play." Blair was adamant on this point. "I'm not saying that they'll be necessary forever, but you'll have them until I learn your reactions, how to read you, what you need and what you want."

Jim looked up at Daniel, who nodded. "Makes sense, we learned together, I know you as well as Blair knows Mike. Mike doesn't have safewords, does he?" Daniel looked at Mike, and smiled when Mike slowly shook his head no.

"It's not that I don't have them, it's just that I haven't needed to use them for over six years." Mike looked over at Jim, "Would you be willing to have them for a while, to make Blair feel better? I never had to use my 'stop, you're pushing too far' word, the only one I used was the 'more, I need more, faster, harder, more' word. And, as he learned what I desired, what I had to have, he gave it to me, sometimes before I knew I needed it myself."

Blair look into Jim's eyes, turning Jim's face towards him with a gentle hand on his face, "James, you will have safewords if you want to play with me, and you will use them, if you need to, or I won't ever top you again [delete again]. Trust is very important in this type of relationship, and I need to be able to trust you as much as you need to trust me. Do you understand?"

Jim looked into the eyes of his guide and marveled at the concern and respect in those deep blue eyes. How could he not love this man, even if he had never felt this way about any other man before? "Yes, I may not agree with you, but you are, or rather will be, the boss. Daniel may be able to say many things about me, but he can not say I don't follow commands." Jim turned his face into Blair's hand and pressed a soft kiss to the center of the palm.

"James, what do you get out of this? What are you looking for, from me? I need to know what you want before I can know if I can give it to you. Is it a sexual thing, like with Mike, here?" Blair looked deep into the eyes of the man he would do anything for, the man he was willing to die for, if need be.

"It's not about sex for me. It's about the release of tension when the job gets to be too much, the absolution when I screw up, the relief of knowing that, for a short while at least, I don't have to carry all the weight on my shoulders, that there's someone else to share the burden." Jim tried to explain, but was having a hard time of it. "It's hard to put into words, but I get so wound up, I have to have control over every part of my life, and there're times I want to be able to abdicate, to let go. That's one aspect of what I'm looking for, the chance to not have to make any decisions, to let someone else take care of everything, to take responsibility for everything for a while. The other is the release. You know how wound up I get, how tense I get... Well, the endorphins and the adrenaline rush combined with the pain/pleasure of Daniel's attentions combine to make it all just melt away. I end up as limp as the proverbial dishrag, but feeling much better." Jim shook his head in frustration at his inability to explain it better, then asked a question of his own. "What do you get out of it, Chief? And how could I have not noticed these tendencies, lo... living with you as I do? Looking back, it's obvious, but I didn't even notice!"

Blair smirked, "You don't think I made a point of hiding it? Living with Mr. Straight Cop, Mr. Anal Retentive himself? I was sure that you'd throw me out of the loft so fast if you ever had a clue of some of the things I was into. You weren't exactly obvious either." Blair shifted in his seat, as he recalled some of those things, things that just might be possible now. "I'm in it for the power, the rush I get when I observe the reactions to my actions, when I know that I am the one causing the sensations that are driving you up the wall!" He paused, looking reflective for a moment, then continued, "Also, a lot of it is seated in my desire to please. I want to give others what they want, to make others happy, to satisfy them... but on my terms."

Daniel broke in, "Blair, would you come with me? I still have a couple things to discuss with you, and I need to do it now. James, you have fifteen minutes to prepare for your scene.

Blair nodded and stood up, willing to follow Daniel's lead. "Mike, stay with James, answer any questions he may have about me, and keep him safe please." And softer, so only Jim could hear, he added, "Don't listen. Love you." Blair followed Daniel out of the room again, wondering what he wanted this time.

Jim knelt on the floor, watching as Blair and Daniel talked. He didn't listen, he had been told not to. Blair had told him not to. As they talked, he thought back over the events of the evening; his panic when he had walked in and smelled Blair, heard his familiar heartbeat; his excitement when he realized that Blair was a top and had the potential to be everything Jim wanted, needed him to be; his rage when he heard how Blair had been abused and his frustration when he realized that he could do nothing about it; his resolve to make it up to Blair, to do anything he could to heal him; his sadness at saying goodbye to Daniel after so many years of serving him, but he couldn't serve two men, he had to devote everything he was to one man, to Blair. His emotions were on a rollercoaster ride tonight and when he came down, he would crash hard. He knew that Blair would be there for him, would take care of him. Jim settled down to wait.

Blair looked at Daniel and asked, "Still think this is going to work? Even with all my problems and hang-ups? Will I be able to give James what he needs?" Blair was worried; this was more than casually playing with someone at a party, more than his relationship with Mike. This was a long-term lifestyle change, a commitment of the type that Blair had shied away from for years; for his entire life, in fact.

Once he entered into this, he could not, would not be able to back out. This had the potential to elevate the relationship between them to realms Blair had not even dreamed were possible. Maybe to the kind of love and partnership he had yearned for, but had never thought could happen. If he could make it work.

"Blair, I thought you were what James needed before I heard what happened, and I think that even more so now. What happened to you was unfortunate. Hell, it was criminally irresponsible, but it has given you the compassion you'll need to deal with James. There's a lot that he can't articulate, and you'll need to draw him out, but I think you can do this. I know you can do it." Daniel patted Blair on the shoulder, and cocked his head to the side. "Do you want to participate in the scene I have planned tonight with James? You are welcome to... "

Blair started to shake his head before Daniel had finished his sentence. "No, man, this is your chance to say goodbye to James, and his chance to say goodbye to you. You both need the closure." Blair looked uncertain for a moment, "Could I ask a favor, though? I don't know if you normally do your scenes with James nude, but could you not have him totally naked this time? I want that to be something special between he and I, our first private time together, him coming to me naked, both figuratively and literally." Blair's demeanor was apprehensive, hoping Daniel would not take his request wrong, that he would understand what he was trying to do. He relaxed when Daniel nodded, then tensed up again when Daniel frowned. "Something wrong?"

"James doesn't have anything on under his leathers, and I don't want to do the scene with him wearing the pants... " Daniel trailed off, trying to think of an alternative that would satisfy both Blair's needs and his own.

"I have a leather jock in my bag, never been worn. Would that solve the problem?" Blair reached into his bag and grabbed the jock, offering it to Daniel. He smiled when Daniel nodded and took it. "We need to talk about how you're going to transfer James' service from you to me."

James looked up as Daniel approached him. Blair was not with him. "James, are you ready?" At Jim's nod, Daniel handed him the jock, and pointed towards the bathroom. "Go put this on, and meet me by the stage." He looked closely at Jim, and concern evident in his voice, asked, "Are you okay with this? Is this what you want?"

Jim lifted his gaze and the love and anticipation shining in his eyes reassured Daniel. "This is what I have been dreaming of for the past year, Daniel. As much as I care for you, I love Blair. This is what I want. I know it won't be easy, but I think it's worth it."

Daniel scrutinized the man before him, the man who had bared his soul to him, the man who had become his good friend. "We'll stay in touch, still be friends. Who knows, when you and Blair get settled in your relationship, maybe you'll invite me to join you once in a while. This isn't a goodbye, it's a new beginning."

Jim rose gracefully to his feet and glided towards the bathroom. He was on such an adrenaline high, he wasn't even sure if his feet were touching the ground.

Blair and Mike chose a seat near the spot Daniel had indicated he was going to work, Mike, still wearing only his collar, sat behind Blair. Blair settled between Mike's spread legs and leaned back against Mike's bare chest. "Blair, are you still going to play with me occasionally or are you going to stop playing with anyone but James?" Mike was a little worried; he was happy for Blair, but didn't want to lose what they had either. One reason he had remained nude throughout the party was to prolong the feeling that he "belonged" to Blair; it was a feeling he craved, and did not get enough of. A feeling he was going to miss if Jim could not handle Mike and Blair's relationship, and they had to stop.

Blair shifted against Mike, unable to reassure his friend. "I don't know. I'm going to have to talk to Jim, to establish the boundaries, the guidelines for our relationship. I will tell you that I want to continue playing with you, but if Jim feels uncomfortable with that, I won't. His needs come first. I'm sorry, man, but that's the way it has to be. We'll still be friends though, nothing is going to change that."

Mike tightened his arms around Blair, unhappy with that thought, but accepting it. He pressed a kiss to Blair's hair, and then rested his chin on the head before him, blinking back the tears that threatened to fall, tears he did not want Blair to see. He was happy for his friend, he was! It was just that he did not want things to change between them! He had come to accept the fact that Blair did not return his feelings and that what they had was the extent of what they could have, but at least he had that! Now even that tenuous connection might be gone.

Mike noticed Blair freeze in his arms, the complete stillness an anomaly to his normally restless friend. He blinked the moisture out of his eyes, and followed Blair's line of sight. Jim Ellison stood confidently at the side of the stage, waiting for Daniel to complete the setup of the equipment. Daniel made sure the bar Jim would be holding on to was clean, and not slippery. The whips and cat'o'nine tails he would be using were laid out in the proper order, the soft suede one first, leading up to the riding crop, and the paddle. Daniel knew what Jim needed, and used that knowledge.

A crowd gathered again, drawn by the preparations for the scene; eager to see Daniel and his elusive partner interact. After the dance earlier in the evening, a more powerful showing than they were used to viewing from this man, everyone was anticipating an emotion-packed scene, and did not want to miss it.

Jim did not even notice the crowd. His world had narrowed down to two people, Blair and Daniel. He noticed Mike, as an adjunct to Blair, but not as an entity in his own right. Jim could be in the middle of Times Square for all the notice he took of the throng rapidly surrounding him.

He stood there, clad in a tiny leather jock that barely covered his genitals. Other than the black leather wrapped around his wrists and neck, he was all gleaming flesh, smooth skin, and supple muscles. Tension and anticipation sent tiny tremors rippling through his frame, hardened his nipples to tiny points, and set the muscle in his jaw jumping.

When Daniel called him, he complied and knelt at Daniel's feet once more. Jim's hands rested on his thighs, and his head was up, his gaze focused on Daniel's eyes. Words were exchanged, too soft for anyone else to hear, and Jim bowed his head. Daniel placed both hands on Jim's head, as if in benediction, then urged Jim to rise. He placed Jim's hands on the metal bar above his head and pressed, a silent command to keep them there. Jim grabbed the bar, and spread his feet apart, knowing what would come next.

"Do you need restraints tonight, James?" Daniel's mouth was scarcely an inch from Jim's ear, the words just barely audible. "Think you are going to need the extra help to keep still?"

Jim shook his head. "No, not in front of Blair. I can do this, I will do this without any outside help. Even if it kills me. I'm going to show Blair that I can do this, that I'm worthy of him."

"I'll let you have your way in this, but if I think they become necessary, you will wear them. I'm going to have Blair sit in front of you, give you a focus. He can also see what I do, and may chose to incorporate it into what he will do."

Jim just shuddered, his thoughts going to Blair, Blair sitting in front of him, watching. Watching what was done to him, watching what was going to be the most difficult scene of Jim's experience. The first time with Daniel had been hard, but they had worked through it, and become comfortable with each other, familiar. But now, now was Blair, and love, and a life that would encompass more than he had ever thought possible, more than he had ever dared hope for. Would it be enough for Blair? Would he be enough for Blair? Would Blair still want him, after seeing him this way, with his needs and wants and desires stripped bare? Jim groaned and let his head fall forward.

Daniel ran a reassuring hand down Jim's back, then turned to Blair. "Blair, would you and Mike come sit over here, in front of James? I want him to be able to see you."

Blair nodded and moved around to sit a couple of feet in front of Jim, directly in Jim's line of sight, Mike, behind Blair, wrapped Blair in his embrace again. Blair leaned back against Mike, drawing reassurance from the close contact with his friend. Blair absently reached up and unwrapped Mike's braid from around his neck and drew it over his shoulder. Blair held on to the braid, abstractedly petting it, holding on to it, drawing comfort from it. Mike stirred in protest, then, noticing the tranquility Blair was deriving from the action, subsided. If this helped Blair deal with what was going to happen, he would suffer the loss.

Daniel looked at Jim, then looked at Blair. "James, I want you to focus on Blair. Don't take your eyes off him; don't look away. Blair, please tell me if he closes his eyes, or looks away. I want him focused on you. Also, Blair, I know it will be hard, but don't make a sound during the scene. I want the focus to be on you visually, but I need James to be listening to me."

Blair nodded again, not trusting himself to speak right now. He turned his head to look at Mike, an unspoken question in his eyes. Mike acquiesced, murmuring into Blair's ear "I'll help you. I won't let you distract James."

Jim studied Blair, noting the way he relaxed back against Mike, once he had that reassurance. He was glad Blair had a friend like Mike to help him through this. It was going to be difficult enough for Jim, without having to worry about Blair. Mike was a good friend to Blair, something Jim appreciated. For this relationship to work, they would need both their friends, Daniel and Mike.

"I love you, Blair." Jim whispered the words he had never said out loud before; knowing this was the time to say them for the first time. He knew, by the slight tensing, then relaxing, that Blair had heard him. Jim then took several deep breaths, letting each one out slowly. He was ready.

Daniel started by running his hands over Jim's exposed skin, stroking, feeling the tension, the musculature, seeking any change from last time, that might need special care to avoid damage. Jim was in excellent shape, as usual. Daniel could feel the anticipation vibrate through Jim's body, almost like an electrical charge reaching out to him, drawing him in.

"James, why are we here?" Daniel stroked the whip along Jim's back, then gave a sharp flick when Jim did not answer immediately.

"Because..." Jim could not articulate what he felt. He just knew.

"Why James?" Daniel was not going to let Jim get away without verbalizing his problem, no matter how painful it was.

"Because of Blair."

Blair flinched when he heard this, but Mike tightened his arms around him, and he did not move. His attention centered even more forcefully on Jim, as he waited to hear what else Jim would say.

"Very good James. Now why because of Blair."

"Because I can't keep him safe. Because he gets hurt because of me, because of the danger I put him in." Jim's voice was anguished, as he expressed his deepest fears. "He could DIE because of me. I can't protect him the way I need to."

Blair moaned deep in his throat, having never heard these fears before. That he was the cause of Jim's distress, his anxieties was a disquieting thought.

Mike rocked Blair, comforting him the only way he could.

As Daniel began to strike, Jim knew with his mind that he was not in the wrong for anything that had happened to Blair, but his heart was another matter. The attentions that Daniel was paying to Jim's body reinforced the idea that it wasn't his fault, and let him feel that he was paying for whatever sins he may have committed, at the same time. Heat, sharp sensations, discomfort, pain... Those were the coin he paid for not being able to control everything, for not being able to prevent danger from stalking his partner, his guide.

Jim gasped, then arched up into a particularly sharp stroke. He needed this, he craved this sensation, this absolution. Watching Blair, watching Blair flinch with every stroke of the whip that Daniel laid on Jim's back, was hard, one of the hardest things Jim had ever done. It hurt more than the physical pain, but if Blair could endure watching Jim in physical pain, Jim could endure watching Blair's emotional pain.

Jim needed his guide with him, but that need put Blair in danger, brought him to the attention of the criminal element, the people that Blair, as an anthropologist, would never normally come in contact with. In that respect, it was Jim's fault that things happened, that dangers followed Blair around. If it were not for Jim, Blair would be safe within the hallowed halls of Rainier, and the worst he would have to contend with would be a paper cut.

To have Blair with him was worth whatever payment Jim had to pay. Still, watching Blair, reading what he was feeling on his expressive face, drove home what he was doing to his guide. Blair was so caught up in what happened to Jim that he had absolutely no regard for his own safety, his own well being. Blair gave so much...

It did not matter that Blair chose to be with Jim, that every time Jim tried to get Blair to back off, to be safe, Blair ignored him, it was because of Jim that Blair even had the opportunity to be in danger. This was the main source of conflict, the reason Jim came back to Daniel again and again. It WAS his fault that Blair was in the situation he was in, and what made his guilt even worse was the fact that Jim would do the same thing over and over again, wouldn't change anything that would keep his guide from his side. So he had to pay...

Right now, he was paying with his pain, but Blair was also paying. Tears were dripping from Blair's eyes, his hands were clasping Mike's braid so tightly that the knuckles were white. Jim's heart hurt more than his back, seeing how Blair was echoing his pain, how Blair was responding to this. The tears started falling as Jim ached for his guide, his partner, his love.

Jim did not try to catalog the feelings that Daniel was bringing to his body, the pain, the heat, and the glow. He eagerly accepted them, let them flow through his body, merge with the feelings within his heart. His thoughts skittered off, and any thinking he did was disjointed. He deliberately kept the dial up on his sense of touch, he needed to feel it all, needed to let it bring him to the edge of his control, and if he were particularly lucky, beyond. It was not often that Jim let the control slip enough, or that Daniel was able to push beyond Jim's walls, to bring him completely through, and out the other side, into complete acceptance, forgiveness. Those times were cherished, partially because of their rarity.

As Jim was brought closer and closer to the edge, he reached out with his hearing, his smell, his feeling, that sixth, or was it seventh sense that let him know when his guide was near, as well as his sight, for his guide. Tears were streaming down his face, partially from the pain, but partially because of the emotions, the feelings he was experiencing. He grabbed on to the presence of his guide, and let it anchor him, as Daniel breached his walls, and brought him over the edge. Blair filled his senses, and it was Blair's name that was on his lips as Jim cried out, his face wet with his [own] tears, his body trembling, as Daniel controlled his downwards slide to the floor.

Jim crouched there; his body aching, but his heart at peace. Daniel knelt beside Jim, holding him, comforting him, rocking him. Jim shook himself out of his daze and the first word out of his mouth was "Blair?" He lifted his head, eyes going immediately to his guide, and Daniel nodded to Blair, motioning him over.

Blair crawled over and crouched beside Jim, angling his body so that Jim's head rested on his chest. Putting his arms around Jim, Blair rocked his body slightly; not caring if Jim's tears soaked his shirt, not caring that tears were streaming down his face, the only thing he cared about was Jim. Making Jim feel better. Making Jim feel whole. The power of the scene left him in awe, the depth of emotion, the expression in Jim's eyes, humbled Blair. They sat there for a long time, the three of them, rocking, holding, comforting.

"You're a hard nut to crack, my friend." Daniel tightened his arms around Jim, fatigue clear on his face. Mike came up behind Daniel, and started massaging his shoulder.

"Wasn't you," Jim admitted.

"I know. I could tell Blair was the one for you, from the beginning. This just confirmed it. His being here pushed you over the edge, the edge I haven't been able to get you to cross, in all the times I've tried. You two belong to each other."

Jim and Blair just tightened their arms around each other as Daniel released his. They knew it, but it was nice to have someone else they both respected confirm it.

Daniel stood up, and looked over at Blair. "Soon." Blair nodded and continued to clasp Jim as Daniel walked away to prepare, Mike following. Jim shifted, his face rising to Blair's, his eyes saying what his voice could not. The tenderness, the concern, the caring flowed between the two, almost like a live current. Jim rested his head back against Blair again, as Blair lowered his head and laid his cheek on Jim's short hair, rubbing his face against the soft bristles. Blair would give his life for his sentinel, had in fact given his life over to Jim's keeping. Whatever it took, Blair was willing to do.

"Jim, is this what you want?" Blair spoke, his face still pressed to Jim's hair, not wanting Jim to see the hope, the fear, in his eyes. "I know that you've talked to Daniel about this, but it is a big step. Are you sure?" Blair closed his eyes, afraid of the answer, but knowing that he could not go through with this without being absolutely sure that Jim's commitment was at least as great as his.

"Yes. I've never been more certain in my life. This is right, I can feel it. You are my life, Blair. I want this connection with you. I want this type of a relationship with you, as well as the other kind. I want it all." After speaking, Jim buried his face in Blair's shirt once more and trembled. So much was riding on this.

Daniel returned and looked at the two men entwined before him. "It's time." Just two simple words, but for the two on the floor, the axis of their world shifted. It. Was. Time. Long past time. Nothing would ever be the same again.

They rose and followed Daniel, neither needing to speak now. Their hands brushed each other as they walked, and their shoulders bumped. Personal space had no meaning between them now; they could not get close enough.

Daniel led them to a spot near the center of the party. It had been cleared, and a pillow placed on the floor. Candles were lit all around, and as they approached, the lights were dimmed. People encircled the area, the ring opening up to let the three men through, then closing behind them. Jim knelt on the pillow before Blair, needing no instructions to do what seemed so right. Blair stood, gazing down at Jim, as Jim looked up at him. The circle around them glowed, as each man took a candle, and lit it, creating a ring of radiance surrounding the tableau in the center. Daniel stood beside Blair, and held out his hand. Jim placed his hand in Daniel's and waited calmly as Daniel unwrapped the leather from Jim's wrist. Daniel then took Blair's hand and placed Jim's hand, face up, into it. Daniel then reached down and took a white length of silk and laid it over Jim's hand, as it rested in Blair's. Taking Jim's other hand, he again unwrapped the leather from the wrist and placed it face down over the joined hands and the white silk. Holding out his hand to Blair again, he completed the joining by placing Blair's hand over Jim's, and then wrapped the white silk around all four hands, binding them together.

Jim raised his head, offering his neck to Daniel, never taking his eyes off of Blair. Daniel completed his part of the ceremony by removing the leather from Jim's throat, and stepping back into the circle enclosing them. Jim blinked back the moisture from his eyes, and looked briefly at Daniel, saying his silent good-byes. He then returned his gaze to Blair, and started. "You have made me what I am, and will mold me into what I will be. I am yours. I will be there for you, as you have been there for me. I will serve you and protect you. Where you go, I will follow. Through death and beyond."

Blair cleared his throat and finished. "I will guide you and lead you. I will protect you, as you protect me. You are mine as I am yours. I will teach you to fulfill your potential, making you greater than the sum of your parts. Where you go, I will follow. Through death and beyond."

As the men finished their vows, all the lighting in the room flickered, and the electric ones went out completely. The candles flared, then they went out also. Abruptly, the electricity returned, and when the light in the room stabilized and everyone could see again, they looked at the men in the center of the circle. Neither of them had moved, their hands were still clasped together as before, but the white silk was no longer around the joined hands. It was around Jim's neck.

The End

End The Package.