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2013-05-10
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Naked

Summary:

After reading his lover's diary, Jim reaches an important decision.

Work Text:

DISCLAIMER: I think we can all figure out that they don't belong to me. If they did, I'm fairly sure that I wouldn't be scraping pennies together to keep my internet access. They belong to those people at PetFly and UPN and anyone else who cares to claim them.

THANK YOU: To my beta readers Merry, Lucy, and Charly for their comments, criticisms and hand holding. A special thank you goes out to Merry. She is quite good at giving swift kicks to the backside. She called me a posting wuss. ;)

FEEDBACK: Please. Good, bad, or otherwise. I want to hear about it, okay?

WARNING: This is rated G. The warning is for sugar content. Please have toothbrush ready.

Naked

by Nita

Jim stroked his lover's cheek softly before sliding out of bed, careful not to wake him. Not bothering to dress, he walked down the stairs, his mind spinning with unanswered questions.

He stood in front of Blair's old room for several minutes, battling silently with his conscience. It was the same battle that he had waged every night for the past two weeks and the outcome was identical. His conscience lost.

Silently damning himself for what he was doing, he entered the room and searched for the journal that was causing his insomnia. He located it under a stack of books next to the bed and pulled it out. Pausing for just a moment, he turned his hearing to the upstairs bedroom and felt the guilt roll over him as he listened to Blair's soft snoring. Jim forced the feeling away, as he had every night since this began, and strode over to the balcony doors to read the last entry.

He wondered, yet again, what it was about these words that affected him so. He loved Blair with all of his heart. Why was this so hard?


Two weeks ago, Jim had surprised Blair by coming home early. Looking forward to spending the day with his lover, he'd been in good spirits as he came through the door.

Blair didn't hear him come in. He sat in the middle of the living room, surrounded by what looked like an explosion of papers and books, his laptop balanced precariously on his knees as he tried to type and write at the same time.

Smiling fondly at the sight of Blair in the middle of all that chaos, Jim cleared his throat. "You *were* going to have this cleaned up before I got home tonight, right, Chief?"

Blair jumped at the sound of Jim's voice and struggled to keep the laptop from falling. "Uh, yeah, man. Why don't I just clean it up now?"

This wasn't the response he was used to getting. No long-suffering sighs, no annoyed looks, just this almost desperate attempt to put everything away as quickly as possible. That and the fact that Blair wouldn't look him in the eye combined to form a knot in the pit of Jim's stomach.

Something was wrong.

A feeling almost akin to terror washed over Jim and his mind seized on the book Blair had been writing in. It was his journal. He had seen it before, not long after they had become lovers. There was no telling what he wrote in it, and Jim had always believed that this was personal and therefore off limits.


Jim snorted at this memory. //Off limits, yeah, right. That's why I've spent every night for the last two weeks reading it.//

He hadn't read the entire journal, just the last entry. He felt guilty enough doing that, but his fear of losing Blair had pushed him past his conscience's demands and he'd found himself reading it that first night.

His initial reaction had been shock, not so much at the words that Blair had transcribed, but shock at the private notes that filled the pages. He'd read them again and again, unable to comprehend the depth of love he was seeing in print.

He read it again, now. There really was no need. He'd had the words memorized by the second night, but somehow seeing it in Blair's handwriting made it more real. He wondered how much trouble his lover had gone through to interpret it. From his notes, it seemed to have taken him months to get the information needed to make such a detailed translation of the ceremony.

Closing the book, he returned it to its place in the other bedroom and went back out to stand staring out the doors to the balcony.

His mind wandered again to the words. Those words that shamed him with their intensity. Resolving to make his decision tonight, he let them roll over him again. They felt so right. Maybe that was why this was hard for him. Nothing had ever felt this right before.


The hours passed unnoticed by the man at the glass. It was dawn before Jim finally smiled, his decision made.

Turning to go back upstairs, he was surprised to find Blair sitting on the bottom step watching him.

"How long have you been there?"

Blair shrugged, "About an hour, I guess. I woke up and you weren't there...again."

Crossing to kneel in front of Blair, Jim said, "I had some things to think about."

"And have you come to any conclusions?"

"Yes."

"Do I want to know?" Blair's tone was a little tentative, almost afraid.

"Yes. I think you want to know this." Pulling Blair to his feet he began the words. "Naked, I come to you..."

"Oh, god." Blair's voice broke. He was trembling so hard that Jim had to support him or he would have fallen.

"Do you want me to stop?"

Gaining control of himself, Blair pushed the robe he was wearing off his shoulders, letting it drop to his feet and whispered, "no."

Jim began again, his voice gaining strength and conviction.

"Naked, I come to you
Owning nothing
Needing nothing more than your love

Naked, I come to you
Offering you everything
Asking only to be allowed to live in your world

Naked, I come to you
Come to me."

As he finished the last line, he held out his left hand to Blair, silently asking him to return the vow.

Barely able to make sound past the lump in his throat, Blair claimed the offered hand and repeated the sacred pledge.

"Naked, I come to you
Accepting what you offer
Returning to you what is yours by right

Naked, I come to you
Giving you my love and my life
Knowing I have already received those from you

Naked, I come to you."


It was midmorning before Blair woke again. He rolled to watch his lover, now husband, sleep. Brushing a kiss across Jim's lips, he asked, "Are you planning on going to work today?"

"No."

"No?"

"No. I called Simon while you were asleep. I have the week off."

"Whoa, wait a minute. Simon gave you the week off? What did you tell him?"

"I told him that I was on my honeymoon." Jim laughed as he got a good look at the one thing he never thought he'd see: a stunned, silent Blair. Still smiling, he whispered, "Come to me."


Epilogue

They were sitting at the table when Blair suddenly said, "A week, huh?"

"Yes. Why?"

With a speculative gleam in his eyes, he got up and went to his room, returning with his journal. "That should give me plenty of time to decide on your punishment for reading this."


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