Archive of Our Own ^beta

Author's webpage: http://www.squidge.org/~theforest/aaboe/aaboe.html

Author's disclaimer: Still not mine. Bummer. I just play with them instead in a way TPTB never would have figured.

The Station wasn't busy for once, so Jim had some time to sit down and think. Life was good... but it could be better. Ever since he and Blair had made love for the first time, things had gone forward. Not one single night had they spent being separated, and almost every night they'd made love.

But.

He still hadn't convinced Blair to fuck him, and they'd not even discussed kink since shortly after the "incident". He'd also not taken Blair, but that was beside the point. That wasn't what he dreamt of. Blair over him, taking him, making him scream for more, now that he dreamt of almost every night.

Fingers, yes. Tongue, a couple of times. Cock? Never.

The situation had to change, and the sooner the better.

At home he found a message on the answering machine from Blair saying that he'd forgotten about a meeting and should be done with it around eight.

"Love you, man. Oh, remember to eat something, ok? I'll grab a sandwich on the way back."

Jim smiled. It was so typical of his lover to think of his health. Quietly he sent an 'I love you too' thought towards the university.

Grabbing a beer from the fridge, he sat on the couch to think further of the situation between them. What would be the best way to deepen their relationship? Should he ask straight out?

Chuckling at his inadvertent choice of words, he pondered the answer to that question. If he did, what would be the worst that could happen? Blair could say no. Of course, his lover refusing flat out without some sort of explanation was ridiculous. Blair could never stop at one word.

What if Blair said yes? How would he feel about that? Sinking deeper into himself, he searched his heart. Joy. Peace. Serene bliss.

Ok, he would ask. Tonight, when Blair came home.

Happy to have reached some kind of resolve, Jim finished the last of his beer and headed towards the kitchen to heat up some leftovers.

The game was almost finished by the time he finally heard fast steps up the stairs. Almost without slowing down, a key was jammed into the lock and the door opened to reveal his harried-looking partner.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry... the meeting ran into overtime, and I couldn't get away. I know, I said I'd be home before now, but they were not letting anyone leave for any reason, stupid politics and even worse board members... I mean, so stuffy you could forget them in a mausoleum..."

Jim didn't even attempt to get a word in somewhere. He leaned back and admired the whirlwind usually known as Blair Sandburg dash from the door to the coat rack, into his office and out again and ending up at the fridge, leaning heavily on the now open door.

"Chief. It's ok. I knew where you were and figured it would probably draw out. Those meetings almost always do."

He looked down, and saw that his mug was empty again and went to get a refill.

Blair still stood at the fridge, looking like there were too many choices in there. Jim knew that to be a lie. There was water, beer and a bit of juice in there, and that was it.

Walking over to give Blair a welcome-home hug, he put his cup down on the counter.

"Come on. I'll make you some tea, and then I'd like for us to just sit and relax for a while. How does that sound?"

Blair relaxed enough to lean back against him, sighing deeply. Eyes closed, he was transformed to the very image of content.

"Heavenly, man. God, those professors and their priorities... they'll drive me nuts, I tell you."

Neither of them moved for a long while, then they both sighed and reluctantly parted. Jim grabbed his mug again and fetched a fresh one for Blair. After putting the kettle over, he gently steered his lover over to the couch and deposited him there, mug in hand.

"Don't move an inch."

A bright smile was all the answer he needed.

Tea ready, he moved back to sit next to his lover. Carefully keeping a little distance between them, he spent a couple of minutes just watching. Blair looked tired, but content, sitting there sipping his tea slowly.

"What?"

"What what?"

"You're looking at me, Jim. If you want to say something, do so."

Jim took a deep breath, hoping his intuition wasn't steering him wrong.

"Why won't you fuck me?"

Blair froze, tea forgotten. His mouth opened and closed a couple of times; resembling the guppy Jim had so often referred to.

"What?"

"I'm ready, Blair. I want it. Why won't you do it?"

He knew he sounded gruff, maybe even cold. This was too important to him for niceties.

"Jim... I know you want it. So do I. I just... I don't want to hurt you, man. No way, no how."

Abruptly rising, Jim strode over to stand in front of the balcony doors.

"Is that also why we haven't done anything about... the other stuff?"

"Kink? Yeah, I guess so."

Rustling sounds from behind paired with a little 'clunk' told him that Blair had gotten up, empty-handed. Heat radiated onto his back, telegraphing as clearly as a touch exactly where his lover was.

"I don't want to hurt you, least of all that way."

A sigh from behind him.

"I've still got this incredible anger roaring inside me, towards her, towards what was done and the fact that no-one protested."

Jim almost didn't dare breathe during the silence. This was more than Blair had ever said about his feeling concerning the 'incident'.

"Every time I see the scars on you, or feel them inside you, I want to... I want to rip her fucking throat out! How could she, Jim... how could she treat someone as wonderful as you like that? Hurt you that way?"

He felt a pair of trembling arms steal around his waist, holding him tight. Relaxing slightly, he clasped his hand over the pair currently trying to make his stomach meet his back.

He didn't mind the pressure. In fact, he needed the physical contact right now, just as much as Blair evidently did.

"And Jim... that anger surfaces every time I see your ass. How can I even think of trying to mark you as mine, when... I mean... you've already been hurt so much... how..."

Jim couldn't bear it any longer. Putting down the mug, he turned to hold his upset lover.

"No comparison, Chief. You're so different from her that you might as well be in different galaxies. You're my light. She was darkness. Nothing you could do to me would remind me of what happened. Nothing."

He tugged gently with one hand until Blair turned his face up. Smiling reassuringly, he lowered his head and kissed his Guide. It took a bit of coaxing, but in the end Blair was participating actively, pressing against his body and letting his hands caress Jim's butt gently.

Breaking for air, Blair pulled back a bit further.

"Nothing?"

"Nothing!"

Apparently reassured, Blair let Jim lead him back to the couch. After seating his lover, Jim went back to retrieve his mug from the windowsill. He sat down close to his partner, taking one hand gently between his own.

"So... will you fuck me?"

Blair took a deep breath and then looked up at him.

"Is that the only thing you wish for? Or is there something more?"

Jim snatched his hands back, curling them into a double fist.

"Of course there's more, Darwin. But this is the least explosive of them, I should say. If you're not willing to do that, what point is there in me asking for more?"

He ground his teeth. He hadn't meant to snap, but he was just so frustrated; need and want and fear churning inside, blending to a volatile mix.

"Whoa. Hey, man... take it easy, I didn't intend for it to come out that way. All I'm saying is that if you really feel you're ready, then I can put aside some stupid feelings. If you want to take it all the way, I'm for it. If you're only ready for some of it, that's what we'll do."

Blair somehow managed to look both placating and fully in control at the same time. Jim thought about rebelling against the control for all of two seconds, and then gave in.

"I want whatever you can give me, Chief. But we haven't really talked about your experiences, have we? You know pretty much what I like, what you can do to me, but what do you like? What do you want to do with and to me?"

Jim gave a short laugh.

"I'd never thought I'd hear myself say this, but... talk to me, Chief. Tell me what you're thinking of."

Blair looked at him for long minutes, dark eyes unfathomable. Taking a deep breath, he then reached out for Jim's hands, coaxing one to twine with his.

"I haven't Topped anyone in a long time, Jim. Not since I met you. It was just too risky, too difficult to explain away, too... I didn't dare."

His partner looked him straight in the eyes.

"I can't Top a girl, Jim. Only a man."

Jim's breath caught. He was certain his heart skipped several consecutive beats. His lover just smiled ruefully and shrugged.

"I need to protect women, I guess, though look where that's gotten me. Anyway, I found the culture first while I was doing a study on subcultures at Rainier. I found a friend there, and he taught me all he knew."

"Who? Who taught you?"

"Master Terry."

Jim gasped. The coincidence was just too convenient. His old Master teaching his new? His head spun, overwhelmed by the information. Repression still sucked, even after so many times he'd found new things in his mind. Actually old things, but he'd pushed so many things so far down that they were as new when they surfaced.

"Jim, are you alright?"

"Too much, too much, can't be..."

"Jim? Jim! Talk to me. What's wrong, love?"

"Terry... Master Terry, never forget his title... he... he taught me... how to enjoy pain... right after I got out of the army. Oh God... it must have been..."

"Shit. Jim? Did he... did he call you something else but Jim or James? Something like..."

"John-boy."

Blair looked up at him with shock clear on his face.

"Jim? Do you recall a young guy with really short hair who talked too much? Someone Terry was training?"

Jim nodded pitifully. Now that he thought back, he knew. Already then, he knew. He'd lusted for the apprentice more than for his Master, and it had been taken out on him on occasion.

"You, Blair. I remember you. Now."

He shook his head slowly. This was too much. Not only had Blair found him at the hospital, when there was a one-in-a-million chance for that to happen, but also it turned out they'd met even before then? Been trained by the same Master? Things like these just didn't happen, not to James Ellison.

"This is just so cool, man. Don't you see? We're destined for each other. Meeting so many times in a lifetime, that's got to be a sign from above. Oh Jim... don't you see it? This was meant to be!"

Jim looked sceptically at his partner. The man had a point. This was just too coincidental for any other explanation than that. He smiled and drifted closer, to be met with open arms by his lover.

"So now you know what kind of stuff I know. Terry taught me all he knew, and later, after him, I went on to experiment a bit more with my own men. Not that there were many, but I've been around the block a few times."

Blair stroked his back slowly, smooth movements up and down, meant to reassure and relax. It was working like a charm.

"I like using pain on a guy, pain intermixed so well with pleasure that my man will scream as he comes for me. I like my man to cry out for me, showing me how much he loves what I'm doing to him. I like to fuck, Jim. Long and hard. Until you beg for me to come and release you at the same time. I like to tease with sensations... giving them or taking them away until nothing seems real, and the only point of fixture is me, their Master."

Jim shivered. The words painted images in his head, images that left him hard and weak at the same time.

"But first and foremost, Jim, I want to give pleasure. Whether that is rough or gentle or mixed. What turns me on most is to see my man on the knife's edge of pleasure, one step away from insanity. I love to hear a man beg, Jim."

The hands on his back ceased their motion. Looking up, he saw a lot of emotions right at the surface in that too expressive face.

"What do you say, Jim? The ball is in your court now."

Silently he begged a kiss and got it. He tried to convey all his emotions through it, but when they parted Blair still looked at him, searching for an answer.

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, Master. My one true Master. I want to be yours, completely. I'm yours for the taking. Please take me, all of me."

Blair kissed him again, sealing the vow.

"You beg very prettily, Jim. My Jim. But tonight nothing of that kind will happen. Tonight we will sleep. There will be a better time for claiming you. Believe me in this, Jim, I will claim you. Completely. But not tonight."

Shaken to his very core, Jim rose slowly from the couch. Blair took his hand and that way they moved upstairs to dream of a time no longer distant.

Jim woke the next morning to a peculiar feeling of being watched. Drifting to awareness slowly, knowing for certain that the Loft contained no other persons than himself and Blair, he reached out for his lover. He found only rapidly cooling sheets and a tantalizing scent in the air.

"Blair?"

He opened his eyes, to find the source of the eyes watching him and the answer to the mystery of where was his missing body pillow. Blair was sitting in a half lotus next to his knees, looking at him with a peculiar mix of curiosity, calculation, desire and pure love.

"Jim... how come you forgot? What was so bad that you packed away that period of time?"

Jim tried to look away, but found he couldn't. Blair had him truly caught.

"You know what happened, Chief."

His lover shook his head slowly, curls swishing lazily back and forth over his shoulders.

"No, Jim. Tell me what happened. I know that Terry died, but if that had been all, you wouldn't have even gone back to being a bottom again. You'd have pushed the entire thing out of your mind, torturing yourself in the process. I know you, Jim."

Feeling trapped, he tried to muster some anger to divert this line of questioning. One quirk of an eyebrow took the wind right out of his sails. He sighed.

"Yes, Terry died, which was pretty painful. Not as much as it could have been, though. He was my first Master... but not the one I wanted. Terry knew that. I got punished for it, for wanting the one that I could not have. The one he'd been entrusted with. I had to forget you or keep suffering."

Jim closed his eyes. He could not look down, but he also could not bear to see those eyes widen in understanding.

"Open your eyes, Jim."

He obeyed. How could he resist the voice that held his universe together?

"You wanted me even then?"

He nodded, feeling miserable. He had no secrets anymore. At least it felt like that. All the big ones were out in the open.

He felt a hand descend onto his knee, gently caressing it and up onto his thigh.

"I wanted you too, even if I didn't know for sure it was you. You always had this mask on, like all of Terry's slaves. Keeping you all anonymous, protecting you. I had seen your body, your reactions to what was done to you, but I had never seen your face. You were so different then... Terry told me you were some kind of military guy. I thought you were a high publicity figure, and that's why you couldn't show your face around. The others he had in his stable were mostly politicians and such. Little did I know..."

His lover chuckled, unfolded his legs and slid up to recline next to him.

"Terry's son was an army buddy of mine, that's how I found him. We were on weekend leave, Tommy took me to this great bar he knew, and I was formally introduced to Terry. Later that evening I got a proposition I couldn't resist and that, as they say, was that."

Jim shrugged self-consciously and thought of the instant spark between the elderly man and himself. Army brat meets old pro Dom. It had been funny to watch, Tommy had later told. He had never stood a chance. Every time he was able to, first just weekends, later whenever he was between missions and could get away, he'd gone to see his Master. It had been so good between them, until Blair showed up.

He smiled at the memory. That young, eager Master-In-Training stole his attention so fast it was scary. He couldn't regret it, though. Not when he was lying in bed with the same person now, so many years later.

"Jim..."

He returned to the present to see his partner draw meaningless doodles on the sheet between them. He looked... shy?

Reaching out, he tugged a curl until deep blue eyes rose to meet his. He smiled in invitation and all but purred as he was kissed properly 'good morning'.

"What is it, Chief?"

"Have your tastes changed much since then? And who did you find after Terry..."

"After he died? I went to a leather bar a couple of times, but I rarely found what I wanted from a Master. I can turn the table, Chief, but only rarely with a man."

He sniffed the curl he was still toying with.

"As for tastes... no, they haven't changed much. Not even after the senses returned. All that really changed was how long I could handle it, mostly. I've never dared to really open up my senses during a session except by accident."

Blair looked up at him fully, concern written all over the face.

"Never?"

He shook his head.

"Didn't dare, what if I zoned, who'd pull me out? I dialed down and kept it at 'normal' levels. But why did you ask about my tastes?"

This time it was Blair's turn to look away for a moment. Then he looked back up at Jim, looking adoringly shy.

"Because what I remember from that time... God, Jim... just knowing if you were there was enough to send me running to Terry for another training session. You had the most..."

Blair blushed and looked away again. Jim got really curious and started thinking of what he had indulged in to cause such a reaction. Terry liked to use a whip and other pain toys. He smiled at the memory. The old man was a true Master in his skills with a toy, any toy. Toys... other items sprang to his mind.

Dildos. Plugs.

Anal play in general. Oh God.

"Blair? The most what?"

His lover kept silent, but he could feel a build-up in heat from underneath the long hair.

"Please tell me, Chief. I'd really like to know. Please, love?"

"The most fuckable ass. I wished it were I so many times, and not some toy, or Terry, or one of his other slaves. God, Jim. If I'd known it were you... I would have staked my claim already at the hospital!"

Jim laughed. He couldn't help it.

"Yeah, and the real doctor entering the room just as you entered me? Now that would really have been priceless."

His lover looked indignant for all of a second, and then snickered.

"Now wouldn't that have been something?"

Jim laughed harder as he thought more of the picture the hapless doctor would have encountered. Then he suddenly latched on to exactly what the action in that picture was and groaned as his cock snapped to rigid attention faster than ever before.

"Jim? Is something wrong?"

Jim rolled over to lie on his stomach in a vain effort to hide from his lover. The drawback was that the feeling of the smooth sheets on his cock didn't help matters the least. Wriggling unconsciously, he tried to push the image of Blair fucking him out of his head.

Blair placed a hand on his lower back in an attempt to calm him down. Hissing, he arched in an attempt to get that hand where he needed it. Just a little bit lower...

"Is it that image? Does it get to you that much? You want me that much?"

Voice wondrous and shaky, Blair took the invitation and let his hand slide lower.

"Yessss... want it, need it, don't make me wait any longer..."

Jim didn't dare to turn his head and actually look at the man touching him so lightly. He didn't want to see regret or pity. If he were to be turned down yet again, he'd just as soon not see it.

The hand disappeared. Regret burned in his chest together with the desire raging in his guts, but he refused to say so much as one word anymore. Even one as stubborn as he could learn the lesson. If Blair didn't want to fuck him until next year, that's how long he'd have to wait... or longer.

Fingers touched him teasingly on his bare skin, just above where the sheet covered him. Tracing lines along, making small detours upwards to draw small circles on his spine and ribs. Dipping underneath the sheet finally. Jim gasped as the thin coverage was dragged down in one long, smooth movement.

"Oh my... so gorgeous. Spread your legs for me, Jim. Show me what you have to offer me."

Hope flared in him. Did Blair want what he thought he did?

"Blair... don't do this unless you mean it..."

"Oh, I mean it, man. I've been dreaming of this for so long... even before I knew it was you... and now you're all mine... and willing... and... are you ready for this? You have to tell me if..."

Jim knew what wasn't said. If something caused a flashback. He nodded his consent.

"Please..."

Fingers returned to him, now making small senseless doodles on his cheeks. He shivered. Another hand joined the first, each holding one cheek, kneading his flesh gently.

"So beautiful..."

The low murmur drifted up to him as hot lips descended to kiss first left side, then the right. He could feel goose bumps break out all the way from his knees and up to his waist in reaction to the light touch. Moaning, he arched in a plea for more.

Wet, hot, wet. Blair was licking his ass, tracing lines in a seemingly random pattern, while two strong hands held him still. Random pattern? No, nothing random there. Blair was following the scars criss-crossing his ass. Blushing furiously, he tried to get away.

"Don't," he pleaded.

"Don't what, Jim? You survived and came out the other side stronger. You're beautiful."

Words. Pretty words. They didn't help his embarrassment. He stilled, desire waning, more than willing to let Blair do what he wanted but no longer having his heart in it.

The hands stilled on him, and he felt a tickling sensation of hair sliding over him.

"Jim? What's wrong? Tell me, lover."

"Don't do that..."

He couldn't look. Burrowing his head deeper into the pillow, he tried to hide from Blair. He felt so embarrassed. He'd asked for this, and now...

"Look at me, Jim."

He shook his head.

"Look at me."

He turned. He couldn't resist that tone.

"I won't. Promise. But we need to work on that, you hear me? You're the most beautiful person I've ever met and the strongest. You're a survivor. A warrior. Wars cause scars. You have several. But these ones embarrass you? That's ok... for now. I won't do anything you don't want me to."

Blair touched a long scar on his leg, a souvenir from his time with the Rangers. Tracing the length of it, Blair then lifted his hand and placed it on Jim's hip.

Slowly sliding down to lie down next to him, Blair moved closer and sighed softly when Jim lifted his arm and pulled him close.

"I'm sorry, Chief. It was just... too much. I... I couldn't handle it."

Blair shushed him with a finger across his lips.

"Shhh... relax. Deep breath. Now, was it just that one particular act or was it what it was leading to?"

He tried to think. What it was leading to... he felt his cock stir slightly. Nope, not that. The tracing of the scars on his ass. Cold dread spread in his stomach. He had his answer.

"Just the act, Chief."

Deep blue eyes shone brightly, bathing him in their light. Love. Pure and simple. Almost without wanting to, he relaxed further. The hand still placed on his hip tightened its grip shortly, then started caressing in a circular motion, drifting towards his back and ass.

"Does that mean that you still want me to do this, or is the mood broken for that? Would you prefer we just went down and had breakfast? Or went back to sleep? It's Saturday, no hurry to get up. We don't need to go anywhere, be anywhere, we can just take our time with this, with life, with everything. Only one thing, Jim... you need to tell me..."

He nodded tightly. A smile and a possessive grope of his ass showed him that it had been seen and accepted as an answer.

"I'll tell you if something isn't right."

The hand slid lower as his lover wiggled in even closer. He couldn't help but hiss at the first contact of a fingertip sliding down his crack.

"You like this, Jim? You like me touching you this way?"

"Oh yeah..."

Jim felt the wicked fingers of his lover slide further down, down to more interesting areas. Wantonly he spread his legs further and rolled a bit more over to lie on his stomach. He was awarded with a gentle fingertip resting right on his entrance.

Almost without meaning to, words came to his mind and out his mouth.

"I've dreamt of this so many times, Blair. Dreamt of you over me, taking me... claiming me as your exclusive territory, showing me that you're the only one. That I'm yours."

All movement stopped. He turned his head to look. Blair was looking wide-eyed at him.

"That was..."

Blair swallowed.

"That was beautiful. Like you. And yes, you're mine. Mine alone. And this particularly tasty part of you... is in a little while going to be my territory until the end of time."

Blair's wolfish smile matched the wicked glint in his eyes. He reached out towards the night table and the tube they both knew was there. It was time. At last.

Jim couldn't look anymore, it was too much, too hot. He gave in to the sensations of slick gel first on the outside, then inside of him. Shivering minutely, he felt as first one finger, and then two slowly spread him open. Reflexively he spread his legs as well, giving Blair more of a playground.

Slow movements inside him threatened to drive him mad with need, but just as he was about to give in and beg shamelessly, he was given more. Not what he wanted, not by a long shot. It was still only fingers moving in his ass, not Blair's wonderful cock.

He could feel his muscles relax one by one, permitting and inviting more simultaneously. More lube was added, and now three fingers slowly stroked his insides. Helpless before the onslaught of emotion, he moaned and arched his back.

"Please..."

Blair gave a low chuckle

"Please what?"

"More..."

He arched even higher, wantonly fucking himself on Blair's fingers. It felt so good, but he needed more than just fingers. It had been long enough... too long...

"I'll give you what you need, Jim... what I need... what I need to give you... oh God, Jim... you're so hot like this... I never dreamt..."

Jim couldn't help but smile through his desire. Blair was so focused, so turned on that he babbled. Jim liked that, but didn't spare more thought on it, as a sucking kiss was placed high on his back. He thrust back harder, the two separate sensations from mouth and fingers coiling in deep and meeting in the middle.

He was on fire. Absolutely on fire. No doubt about it. Only Blair could put out that fire. No going back, only forward. This was it.

"Blair! Please! Fuck me..."

"Yes."

Blair pulled his fingers out, leaving Jim whimpering for more.

"Shhhhh, lover, I'll be there in a second."

Jim heard the sound of a condom being applied, followed by the wet sounds of lube being spread generously over the length of his lover's cock. It didn't get much better than this. He could hardly wait, but forced his body to still its movements.

Blair's heartbeat was ever present in his mind, anchoring him in the here and now. There was no fear, only anticipation.

"Here I come, Jim. Relax for me."

Jim took a deep breath, held it and released it. His body relaxed at the same rate as the air was expelled. He could literally feel his ass open up, wanting nothing more than to take Blair in as deep as he could, for as long as he could.

Jim lowered his forehead to the mattress, resting against cool sheets. He deliberately blocked his vision, knowing instinctively it would be too much for him. He was hot enough as it was.

Pressure. Hot pressure. Blair felt big, almost too big. Whimpering, he forced his body to open up further and take what was being offered.

"Relax, Jim. Accept me, accept my cock. Let me in."

Jim rubbed his cheek against the sheet underneath him, straining to get some control over his body. He wanted it, oh, how he wanted it, but God, Blair was bigger than anyone he'd taken before.

"Bear down, Jim. Open for me. Now."

Panting, Jim did as he was told. With a pop only audible to him, the head went in. Crying out, he threw his head back.

"God! Blair!"

His lover froze.

"Are you ok?"

Jim hissed.

"Yesss... move. More."

Slow as evolution he got more. It felt like eons passed until he finally felt Blair's coarse pubic hairs scratch against his buttocks. Shuddering, he tried to wrap his mind around the fact that he now had ALL of his lover's deliciously large cock inside him.

Both shivering with pleasure, they rested for a minute, just feeling it. Experimentally, Jim clenched his muscles briefly, only to feel an answering throb deep inside him. Panting, he did it again. God, he was full.

"Move, Blair. Please..."

A deep guttural groan from behind him was his only answer. His plea was heard.

Slow pull out, slightly faster thrust inwards. Small movements that let him get used to the feeling of being stretched almost beyond endurance. Jim had no idea where Blair got his restraint, but the thrusts were kept to the slow pace for what felt like ages. He felt like screaming in frustration. He needed it hard, fast, now!

Jim lowered his head again, giving in. He would accept whatever he was given.

Slightly faster thrust. He moaned.

"You love this."

It wasn't a question.

"You want this."

Jim let a moan slip as his only reply.

"You need this... and how about this?"

With those words, Blair scooted up a bit higher, changing the angle slightly. Jim thrust up and back with a howl as the last stroke nailed his prostate directly.

"Yes!"

Blair thrust harder into him, causing his brain to travel down to his ass and stay there. Nothing else existed but his lover fucking him. As if from far away he heard totally shameless cries ring through the Loft. Dimly, he realized they came from him.

As if from far away he heard Blair talking, muttering, really.

"Tight, so tight. Jim, if I'd known... oh yes... that's it... clench that ass for me... so good... wanna fuck you forever... love this, love you... oh, oh, should have done this ages ago..."

Blair was thrusting harder now, pumping fast into his more than willing hole. Jim felt the pleasure mount ever higher. Soon it would reach critical mass and blow him away. Not that he minded. This was better than he'd ever dreamed. Not only was his lover so wonderfully big, but also he seemed to be just as much an ass-lover as Jim was. Just from the opposite side, of course.

Jim pushed back harder, begging for more, begging to be taken completely, no mercy. He was soooo close, already feeling a momentous orgasm gather deep inside.

He was given more. Blair crawled further up on Jim's ass and held on to his shoulders for dear life while giving the fucking of a lifetime. Jim certainly had never experienced anything like it from anyone. Rough, fast and more loving than anything he'd ever felt before.

Too much. Much too much.

Everything was too much. Total overload... his ears buzzed with the moans floating in the air and the words of lust and love pouring out from behind him... he could feel his own body on a level deeper than ever before, as well as Blair's... the scent of the both of them filled his nose... only sense not in use was sight, and that only because his eyes were closed.

"Come with me, Jim... I'm so fucking close... wanna fill you up, shoot into your fucking hot ass... God! Come with me! Now-now-now... NOW!"

With a final roar, Blair thrust in so deep that Jim felt like he should be able to taste the semen bursting forth. The throbs from the large cock buried deep was his undoing. Screaming out his lover's name, Jim exploded into the sheets, clenching tight, holding on with all his might.

Feeling reality grey out, he whimpered and relaxed completely. Drops of sweat landed on his back and the only sound was of Blair panting for breath. He felt a peculiar vibration against his shoulders, but didn't reflect on what it was. He found out when Blair's arms gave out and he landed heavily on Jim's back.

"God, Jim... you're lethal. I may just never move again."

Wearily, Jim turned his head to try and look back at the body on his back.

"Does that mean you'll move in back there?"

A very undignified snort was the only reply.

"I'll move in a little while, lover. I must be heavy, even for you. I just... I just need to get the energy first, ok?"

Jim couldn't quite hide the smile from his voice.

"Light. Don't move for my sake. I like you there."

After a while the weight lifted from his back regardless. Jim sighed at the loss, but accepted it when a soft kiss was pressed to his shoulder.

"I'll just go get a cloth. I'll be right back."

Jim tracked Blair's movements downstairs and into the bathroom. The sounds let him decipher the actions and envision them. Taking a leak and dumping the condom. Washing hands and wetting a washcloth. Coming back upstairs.

"Just relax, Jim. I'll take care of you."

Soft, damp cloth gently swiping his ass made him feel like purring. He turned over without being asked to, and Blair cleaned off the semen on his belly with long, smooth strokes. Done, Blair flicked the soiled cloth over his shoulder and crawled back into bed.

"Love you, man."

"Love you too, Chief."

Jim experienced a feeling of utter happiness swirling around his midsection. He couldn't remember ever feeling so content, so complete. Smiling slightly, he sighed and slipped away into sleep.

Over the next weeks Blair slowly learned Jim's limits and pushed both them and himself slightly. Never so hard that either he or Jim got scared or even more than a bit apprehensive about the situation.

Jim loved the learning process. It was almost as if he was being trained again, but this time by the man he loved. They were both taking things slow; a little bondage one time, playing with dildos another time, nothing too heavy or too prolonged. But the results... Jim could hardly wait for the time where Blair would go for a full scene instead of doing 'vanilla with a twist', as Blair called it.

Jim sighed happily, his mind dwelling on the actions of two days ago... Blair had ordered him to get squeaky clean inside and out, and then proceeded to drive him totally out of his mind by using fingers, mouth and toys on his ass. ALL evening.

He shifted in his seat and made yet another attempt at concentrating on typing up his report. It didn't do him any good to think such thoughts. Besides, Blair wasn't even due to come down to the station today. That was the worst part about Fridays.

Shifting again, he looked down at the keyboard and raised his hands to start on the damn report again. He'd just caught up to where he'd left off, when the phone interrupted his muttered threats at the computer.

'Saved by the bell.'

"Ellison."

"Tonight's the night, man. Be ready."

"Chief?"

"Tonight I'll own you. Be home at seven, no sooner, no later. I'll tell you what I want when you're here. Got it?"

Jim shivered. Blair's voice was... different somehow. Still silky, but with steel underneath. He did not want to disobey. He swallowed convulsively.

"Yeah, I got it. I'll be there."

"Good. Love you."

Jim looked stupidly at the disconnected phone. Should he be worried or elated? He couldn't help but chuckle a bit. Knowing Blair, both.

Looking at the wall clock, he noted he had a bit more than 2 hours before he could leave. Oh well. He might as well use it constructively. With renewed energy, most of which nervous, he continued on the report. With any luck, he should have his desk almost cleared when it was time to go.

'Six thirty, time to go.'

Jim felt inexplicably pleased with the knowledge that Simon couldn't hound him for reports for a long time now. He had cleared his desk for the first time in months.

Whistling slightly, he stood up and grabbed his coat. It was time... high time, actually.

Waving at the last stragglers still seated at their desks, he tried to walk normally to the elevator. It was difficult not to bounce even a little bit. He felt... nervous, yes. Happy, oh yes. Aroused, a very definite yes. Alive and kicking. He suppressed the urge to grin stupidly at every person in the elevator getting on and off. No good giving the wrong impression to anyone.

Twenty minutes to get home. He could do that easily. No need to speed, no need for breaking a single rule or even bend them a bit. He grinned again at the twinge of disappointment he felt at that thought.

Still, he tore out of the garage with the usual break-neck speed, turning the corners sharply. It felt good to be alive today.

Jim turned the radio on to his favorite station and couldn't help but grin when it turned out they were having a Santana hour. He sang along to "Smooth", not caring the least if other drivers looked at him weirdly.

Next song was "Black Magic Woman". His smile faded a bit as the image of Rose crossed his mind. Shaking his head, he purposely drove that thought away. Tonight was not for bad memories. Tonight was for loving, and claiming, and... he shivered, good pain. Giving in to his Master, giving his all, his control, his trust. His love.

'Ellison, you're a lovesick fool.'

He found he didn't care.

Five minutes to seven.

He turned the corner to Prospect just as sharply as every single other corner, feeling two of the wheels almost let go of the road. Now for a parking place. Glancing down the road, he quickly saw one and slammed into it almost right in front of another car.

'Ha, I was here first. Go find another one.'

Jim got out, waved cheerfully after the other car. which, upon seeing this, tore further down the street with a blast of exhaust. Grinning, he dismissed the guy and turned his attention to the Loft.

Two minutes to seven.

Blair was up there, heartbeat calm.

Waiting for him.

He went in, taking the stairs two at a time. No good being late, was there?

One minute to seven.

Outside their door, he took a calming breath. It would be bad to appear rushed, wouldn't it? It would look like he was running late, which he wasn't, but if he kept standing here, he would be late.

Seven.

He unlocked the door and stepped inside.

Jim stopped right inside the door, still standing with one hand on the handle. The Loft had been transformed during the afternoon. Candles almost everywhere, and soft pillows on the floor. The couch had been moved back and the coffee table now stood to the side, leaving a huge area clear.

It wasn't empty there.

There was a bench he'd never seen before.

At first glance it looked like an ordinary massage bench, but closer inspection revealed the extra hooks placed conveniently along the sides and ends of it. And... normal benches only had one hole, for the head. This one had two; the other placed approximately where his groin would be.

Jim shuddered at the sight; apprehension and arousal suddenly taking a vast leap upwards.

Jim stepped all the way in and closed the door behind him. He wasn't sure if he should call out or anything. In a way he felt it to be quite strange that Blair hadn't greeted him yet.

He narrowed further in on the heartbeat he'd never really stopped listening to. It came from... the bathroom? No sooner had he pinpointed the location than the door opened and his lover stepped out.

Jim froze again.

Blair looked... edible and dangerous all at once. He was dressed completely in black. Black leather pants laced up in the side and at the groin. Not a single button or zipper in sight. Above that was a leather vest, opened to reveal a leather string around his neck. From the string hung a small black panther carved from hematite.

He wore nothing else. No socks or shoes, nothing.

Jim thought he'd never seen anything as sexy in his life.

"Strip."

Not taking his eyes away from Blair, Jim complied. He placed all his clothes on one of the kitchen chairs with his shoes underneath it, and his guns on the table. Standing up again, he gave an outward appearance of being calm as he presented his body to his Master.

He saw an appreciative smile spread slowly on Blair's face. Relaxing minutely, he awaited his Master's next move.

"I prepared the bathroom for you. I want you clean inside and out tonight. Meet me out here afterwards. You have half an hour."

With that, Blair walked over to the couch and picked up an abandoned magazine lying there. He sat down and started leafing through it, then looked back up.

"You have now twenty-nine minutes. Move it."

Jim galvanized into action and rushed to the bathroom. The first item to meet his eyes was the enema kit, standing so innocently perched on top of the toilet. He felt his cheeks heat up a bit, even after the many times this particular act had been performed. Oh yes, definitely an act, perfected during the healing period.

Jim felt his cheeks grow hotter with the memory of being helped by Blair. Now was not the time to think of that. He steeled himself and got to it.

Less than fifteen minutes later he turned on the shower to wash the outside of his body.

The hot water sluicing over his body made him relax further. Tonight was the night. Smiling stupidly, he finished up and re-entered the living room with two minutes to spare.

His Master looked up promptly and looked him over. Blair nodded and smiled at his obvious rush of the shower.

"You missed a few spots with the towel. Come over here and bring me your towel."

Jim quickly retrieved the damp towel and hurried over to Blair. Blair took the cloth from him slowly and began patting his sides with it.

"Tsk tsk tsk... did you think you were running late? Such a hurry... not even taking care to properly present yourself."

Jim shivered under the combined forces of Blair's silky voice and the soft touches of the towel.

"So responsive..."

Blair smiled happily.

"There, all done. We're going to have dinner now, but so you won't forget what tonight is about, you don't get to dress. Oh, that's not quite true... I want you to wear one thing..."

Blair dropped the towel to the side and picked up a smallish butt plug lying on the couch next to the magazine. He held it out in his hand and looked expectantly at Jim.

Jim tried to smile, but it was hard to do since his cock and his cheeks heated up at the same time. He tried to will his erection away, but his embarrassment got the upper hand every time he focused on anything else but his face.

He was left with no choice.

He took the butt plug and decided to ignore his cock for the moment.

"You'll need this."

Blair held out his hand again, this time holding lube.

Jim took it and made a small motion as if to go back to the bathroom.

"No."

Jim froze.

"Here. In front of me. Now."

Jim gave up on his cock and his face. His raging hard-on gave away his body's opinion on that order, while his face changed to a color that probably resembled a tomato more than a human being.

Blair quirked an evil little smile.

'God, he enjoys embarrassing me! I'm in trouble.'

"Red suits you very well, Jim. I think you should wear that color more often."

Jim fumbled open the lube and squirted a generous amount out on his fingers. Slicking up the plug did nothing to calm him. He took a deep breath and reached back towards his ass, already bending a bit in anticipation.

"Turn around, I want to see you do it."

Jim turned mutely. He decided to make more of a display of it. Maybe it could turn the tables a bit?

Bending further down, he slid the plug slowly down his crack until he encountered his hole. Taking a deep breath, he slid in an inch. Holding it there for a moment, he tried to calm his breathing further. Then a bit further in, almost all the way out, in again.

He slowly teased them both, and Blair knew it. Blair also seemed to allow it, not saying one word to stop him. He continued with the slow, tantalizing display until he was sliding almost the full length of the plug in and out.

Then he found out the backside to it.

Blair put his hand over Jim's and held the plug so it stayed with the widest part just at the outer ring. Jim's ass twitched and tried to expel it and suck it all the way in at the same time.

Blair didn't let him.

Jim held back the moan rumbling in his throat by sheer will power. Oh God, he wanted this to continue. Not to stop right now!

Blair pushed the plug all the way in, tugging on Jim's hand until none of them held on to the plug anymore. Jim felt the urge to cradle his cock but resisted it by crossing his arms over his chest.

He was feeling HOT already, and the evening had hardly begun.

Jim was unable to resist wiggling a bit to feel the plug move inside him. That earned him a hard slap to his right cheek.

"Stand still."

Jim stopped.

"Good boy. Let me just check if this is in correctly..."

Blair twisted the plug a tiny bit from side to side, even pulling it out a bit, only to release it and let it slide back in slowly. Jim gasped at the sensations now roiling in his guts.

He looked over his shoulder to see Blair watch him with the most wicked grin he'd ever seen in his life.

"Tease."

"And don't you forget it, Jim."

Jim couldn't help but smile.

"Come sit down at the table. Tonight I'll serve. My choice. This doesn't mean that I'll do that every time, understand?"

Jim nodded.

"Good. Now, sit!"

Jim sat at the table, feeling quite strange. It was odd to sit at the table naked, not to mention having a plug up his ass at the same time. And Blair wanted him to eat? He wasn't at all sure he was capable of eating in his condition.

Blair didn't let him get too distracted from food. His attention was called to each bite of the dish, some kind of vegetable hot pot that tasted absolutely delicious. Not that he'd admit that, of course.

Only a bit more than halfway through he though found that his appetite was completely gone. He couldn't force anything more inside him, so he contented himself with watching Blair eat. It never ceased to amaze him how a fork could be used to underscore a statement, not to mention being used as a baton.

"... so he finally saw reason and agreed to increase his efforts on writing intelligibly for his students. Jim, are you truly ready for this night to happen?"

Jim couldn't help but smile as he nodded.

"Do you realize what you did to me with that phone call earlier?"

Blair shook his head, all wide eyes.

"You gave me inspiration to finish my paperwork. All reports are done, thanks to you."

Blair looked wonderfully confused.

"And I did this how...?"

Jim felt the corners of his mouth attempt to curl upwards.

"Gave me a hard-on that wouldn't quit and enough of a case of nerves that I had to do something about it. And the most obvious solution was right out."

The confusion vanished instantly and transformed into laughter.

"Wouldn't quit, huh? Let's see if it's quit now..."

It actually had during the meal, but the look on Blair's face made it come back with a vengeance. Without being asked, he stood up with his legs spread, showing off.

Wide smile spreading over his face, Blair reached out and stroked a single finger from the root of his cock and up to the tip. Briefly, he played with the drop of liquid pooling there.

"Doesn't look like it... Jim. I need to ask again. Are you sure this is what you want?"

Again Jim acted without being told. He stepped closer and dropped to his knees at Blair's side. Bending his neck, he brought up his hands and crossed them over his chest.

"Yes, Master."

He held the position for ages, waiting for some kind of response; yet not knowing what shape it would take.

Sound told him that Blair had pushed his chair back and was getting up. Alarmed, he tensed.

"Stay. Don't move. I'll be right back."

Soft footsteps leading into the transformed office and to the desk there. A drawer was pulled out, and Blair rifled through it. A low 'aha' presaged the steps returning to the chair.

"Jim. Look at me."

Jim looked up into... peace. Tranquillity fairly shone from his lover's face, mixed with determination and an all-encompassing love.

"Do you accept my collar and what it stands for?"

Held up between their faces was now a two inch wide leather collar with a dog tag attached. Jim reached out a tentative hand, but hesitated to touch it. He looked back into Blair's eyes, asking permission.

Blair nodded.

Jim stroked a single finger along the edge of the collar, marvelling at its smoothness. No sharp edges or rough patches to hurt his neck. The outside was delicately patterned with a carved Celtic style band along the middle and dyed in red. He held the tag between two fingers and slowly turned to read the front of it.

"Panther is property of Wolf."

He smiled. Nothing but the truth.

"I accept with pleasure, Master."

Jim presented his throat for Blair, tilting his head a bit forward to make things easier. He shivered forcefully when he felt the cool leather encircle his neck.

His dreams had come true.

Gentle fingers quickly buckled the collar and left him with a final little pat. Jim kept his head bowed slightly, not wanting to do anything wrong tonight.

"Look at me, Jim."

He looked up again; at the most important person in his world... the person who had already claimed his heart and his body, and tonight would demand his very soul. His Master.

Warm hands stroked his cheeks and tilted his head a bit further up. Warm lips touched his. Jim surrendered to desire and opened willingly for the soft tongue demanding entrance.

Long minutes passed as Blair explored his mouth thoroughly. He had never been kissed quite like this before, the hunger surpassing anything previously experienced with anyone.

Gasping, they broke apart at the same time.

"I love you, Jim."

Bending sinuously at the waist, Jim placed a reverent kiss on the leather-clad leg in front of him.

"My life. My sanity. My love."

Feeling a shaky hand stroking over his hair lovingly, Jim found he had to fight the urge to purr like a cat. It felt so good to be loved this way. The experience was new enough for him that everything was still laced through with wonder and amazement.

For long minutes Jim remained kneeling at Blair's side until a small tug under his chin made him look up again.

"Go to the bench and wait for me there."

Jim rose immediately and went to stand there. Walking called his attention to the plug resting inside him; small tugs at his outer ring and tiny nudges against his prostate. Biting back a moan, he resisted wriggling his hips. It was a close call, though.

He stopped at the bench and looked back at his Master. Blair was clearing the table and putting the plates to soak in the sink. Deciding it would probably be a while before he'd get attention from his lover again, Jim sank to his knees at the end of the bench, grabbing his wrists behind his back.

Some small corner of his mind was amazed how easily those habits got to the surface again. Waiting in a kneeling position, never standing. Never asking for specific favors and never complaining at what he got.

Jim smiled softly.

All he'd ever really wanted was presently humming while scraping the leftovers of their food into a Tupperware box.

Anticipation coiled tight in his guts, Jim followed every move Blair made in the kitchen. Finally, Blair looked over the area with an air of satisfaction. He turned towards Jim, smiling wickedly.

"Now it's time for you, my love. This is going to be soooo good."

Jim shivered harder, again completely erect.

Soft footfalls on the hardwood planks brought his Master to stand right in front of him.

"You're just as well-trained as I remember you. So responsive, so hot, so eager. Eager for my touch, hm? The touch of my hand or a flogger or any other toy I see fit to use on you... oh yes, Jim. I can see it."

Jim spread his knees a bit wider and tilted his head back, baring his all. He was very aware of his cock, rock hard and drooling, and already a few drops had made their slow way down his shaft.

"Stand up, Jim."

Slowly he rose from the floor, graceful and practiced in his movements. First leaning a bit forward to raise his heels, then back to put his weight on his toes and raise his knees up, and last one fluid movement to stand up straight with his hands loosely clasped behind his back. Parade rest.

"God, you're so beautiful. You know that, Jim? Know how great your body is? How much I enjoy seeing you in motion?"

Mutely, he shook his head.

"Well, you are and I do. Any chance I get, man."

One strong hand slowly slid all the way down over his chest, making lazy circles on his pectorals and just below his ribs. The maddeningly light motion should have been tickling, but instead he felt his touch dial spin upwards, making him shiver with the sensation. He didn't attempt to adjust the dial, deciding to let Blair control that part of him as well.

He'd let his Guide know if something felt wrong, otherwise he'd keep quiet and enjoy.

It was getting difficult to keep his eyes open, but he kept looking at Blair anyway. The emotions playing over the expressive face in front of him showed him clearly that his earlier feelings were correct; he had reason to be both nervous and anticipating. Love and downright wickedness warred for supremacy right for him to see, none of them seemingly winning.

Nails scraped over his abdomen and dove straight for his groin. Gasping, he wasn't prepared when a tight grip fastened over his balls, squeezing them tightly. Pain that wasn't pain washed over him. A sharp tug downwards made him stand even straighter, clenching his teeth together.

The wicked part seemed to be winning.

Blair's other hand was brought into play now, taking the same circuitous route over his chest. As it got closer to his groin, the hand on his balls started holding them tighter, squeezing him deliciously.

Jim couldn't help but twitch a bit, creating slight tugs on his now quite sensitive sac. Smiling widely at his discomfort, Blair let his hands meet, one keeping up the steady pressure, and the other using feather-light strokes on his cock.

Suddenly he was released completely, no longer any touches to him anywhere.

"Lie down on the bench, on your stomach."

Shaking his head to clear it of lusty cobwebs, he scrambled to comply.

The leather covering the bench was cool to his touch, but not enough to raise goose bumps on his skin. Moving carefully, he let his cock go through the lower hole on the bench first, then resting his groin so his balls were more or less in the middle. After that, it was easy wiggling his head into place.

"Comfy?"

Jim made a tiny affirmative noise.

"Good."

It was strange having his sight blocked without the use of a blindfold. The upper hole was closed almost completely off about two inches below his nose, practically locking out light totally. Automatically, he concentrated on hearing and touch to ascertain where his Master was and what he was doing.

To his left, moving about. Walking towards his feet. What was that sound? Oh, rope.

Jim barely caught himself before flinching at the first touch to his ankles. Soft rope... being looped several times around his legs. He recognized the pattern and was ready to help by holding an end. He knew it was impossible, or nearly so, to finish this particular type of bondage without an extra hand somewhere. First the loops around his legs, then the ends would run vertically around those large loops and meet in the middle where it was tied off.

"Hold this, please."

He immediately reached down to hold one rope while Blair concentrated on looping the other vertically.

"Great, thanks. Now the other."

The switch went seamlessly, as if they'd tried it thousands of times before.

Finally Blair tied off the bondage and strung them down towards the end. He could feel the pull as the ends were tied snugly to hooks at the foot of the bench. Experimentally, he tried to move his legs.

He couldn't.

Due to the style of bondage, he couldn't gather his legs, which now were spread to be about two feet from each other at the ankles, and he also couldn't spread more, or move to either side.

He was fixed in place.

Another touch, this time at his middle. Soft, but not fingers. Jim concentrated on the touch. Another rope, passing over the small of his back several times and tied off in the middle.

Jim tried to arch upwards a bit, and again found the movement impossible. Only his hands left now.

"Jim? I want to give you a choice. I will fixate your hands, but you decide where, out of two places. At the top or on your back. Your choice."

Jim thought the situation over. At the top he'd still have a tiny amount of control in being able to resist and tense up. He placed his hands on his back, crossing his wrists on top of the soft rope holding him in place.

"Well, I guess that's your answer. Good choice."

Quickly his wrists were fastened to the other rope with several loops around each wrist and tied off on top. He could feel Blair testing the leeway between his wrists and also how loose the ropes were. A final juggle to move the knot so it wasn't on his pulse point anymore and the touches went away.

Minutes passed with no further touch or movement. All he could hear was Blair's heartbeat and breathing.

"So beautiful... and all mine. God, Jim. I feel like a kid given free reign in a candy store!"

Delighted laughter erupted from right beside him and then touch returned. Hands roamed over his back, nails raking slightly over one place and skimming light as feathers over another. He arched towards the touches as far as he could, goose bumps breaking out in the wakes of each caress.

A stinging slap to his buttocks made him jump, taken by surprise. The next ones made him arch his ass upwards as high as he could, shamelessly begging for more.

"Beautiful... my beautiful Jim..."

Heat built in his ass, from within and without. Still the slaps fell on him, raining on his ass and nourishing his soul. This was what he needed. This was what She couldn't give him.

Loving pain.

Blair changed from dealing him this sweet pain to caressing his ass again, kneading his muscles and spreading the heat around. He felt kisses land softly on him.

"I love you."

Jim didn't resist this time. He purred deep in his throat.

Completely without any kind of warning a warm hand wrapped around his cock as the plug inside him was jostled. His purr changed to a growl, the fire spreading all over his insides. He was getting too close to the edge for comfort.

He did not want this to stop so soon.

"Don't even think about coming, Jim. You will not like the consequences."

The steel was more than present in Blair's voice.

Jim shivered almost uncontrollably, trying with all his might to think of something else to distract him from the actions taking place further down.

Thankfully, Blair released his cock.

Sighing happily, Jim relaxed again only to yell out as the plug was removed with one fast tug.

He clenched his hands and his teeth and got back from the knife's edge again.

"Please..."

"What do you need, love?"

"Distract me, please..."

"With what would you like to be distracted?"

Blair was back to being silky steel. It was scary and exciting and a whole lot of other things that Jim didn't want to examine too closely. He much preferred just enjoying it.

"Pain," Jim whispered.

"Ask, and you shall receive. But not just yet. First... you're going to get this..."

Wet sounds, slippery sounds. Jim tried really hard to identify the source but without smell to back him up, it was just too difficult. He couldn't smell anything but the leather covering of the bench.

Blunt pressure at his ass. Oh God... another plug, this time a larger one. Jim whimpered as he relaxed around it and again had to fight not to come on the spot.

It slid in easily, his hole snapping shut on the narrow part and holding the plug in place.

"There... now for your request, which was actually something you'd have gotten anyway."

A swishing sound through the air, then impact.

Jim moaned. It was a flogger, a heavy one. Lots of tails, deep impact but no sting.

The kind of flogger he absolutely loved.

Clamping down hard on the remains of his control, Jim tried to relax as much as possible and just take it. Each kiss of the flogger tensed him up and shredded one hair-fine layer off that control.

"You love this."

Jim whimpered something that could be taken as a yes.

Blair gave him a series of strokes that took his breath away and made him tighten even further on the plug.

"Please!"

"You want to come, Jim? You want me to whip the come out of you?"

The lashes landed harder and faster on him. The question would soon be rhetorical. Out of his mind he only repeated his broken plea.

"The problem is, Jim, that you need my permission to come. And I won't give it until you beg... and you've got to do it well."

Jim whimpered again. His balls were aching, he was on the edge of coming regardless, and Blair wanted him to speak?

"Please let me come, please, I'll do anything, be anything, just... please!"

Crying out please repeatedly, Jim staved off the imminent orgasm with the shreds of his remaining control. Every stroke, every kiss of the damned suede flogger threatened to shatter that control completely.

"Yes... come for me. Show me how much you love this, how much you love me. Show me your passion for the whip."

Jim didn't hear much past the first sentence, letting go of everything and just feeling. He relaxed completely and just fell apart at the seams, mind whiting out as he was washed away. He came harder than ever before in his life.

Coming back, he coughed experimentally. His throat was parched and sore. 'I must have screamed.' Shrugging mentally, he listened for his Master. Blair was caressing his ass lightly, occasionally bending to place a small kiss on his back or his hands.

His Master was also breathing very hard, panting almost. Jim purred softly, letting it be known that he was back among the living.

"That was just about the hottest thing I've ever seen. You made me this close to coming in my pants. Never happened before, man."

Jim could feel the plug still lodged deep inside him, providing delicious pressure. He couldn't help but smile at the thought that this was not over yet. Judging from the harsh breathing beside him, not over by a long shot.

Nimble fingers tugged the plug.

He moaned and again tried to arch up against it, silently begging for more of that sensation.

"Slut... my slut. Gotta... gotta have you... but not just yet..."

Only thing touching him now was air. Jim shivered and let himself feel the burn on his ass. Hot. Sound told him that Blair was moving around, seemingly searching for something.

Something was placed on his butt. Something narrow and smooth. Long. Round. He gasped as the implications hit him.

A cane.

Oh God.

New sounds. Leather against leather and skin. A long sigh. Hands back on him and a new source of heat radiating against his side.

Blair was naked.

"So hot... so red... I want to mark you. Claim your skin so you'll know who you belong to, deep in your soul. God, Jim... I want you so much. Want to fuck you, want to give you pain, want to... I want to own you."

"Then do so."

Jim hadn't really intended to speak out loud. The words slipped past his lips before he could stop them. He tensed, knowing full well he hadn't been told to say something.

Would he be punished?

Silver laughter shattered his tension.

"I will."

The cane was lifted from his back while fingers spread his cheeks. He could practically feel Blair's eyes on his hole. Reflexively, he clenched his muscles.

"Ooooh... winking at me, hm? I wonder..."

The plug was removed in one swift movement, only to be replaced moments later with a wide dildo. He cried out, ass spasming around the bulk.

"Keep it in."

Jim mumbled affirmatively.

A new sound reached his ears. Swishes from the cane as Blair tested it in the air. Even knowing that it wouldn't hit him didn't help. He tensed up anyway. Again that silver laugh drove straight from his ears down to his cock.

"Nervous? Or eager?"

Jim didn't answer.

Impact.

Pain radiated from the few inches on his skin where the cane had hit him, going deep into his being and rolling around his stomach before heading down to his cock. Clamping down on the dildo helped the trip go faster.

He moaned.

Another stroke took the same circuitous route, just quicker than before. Jim's training took over his reactions. Breathe out and relax all muscles, quick gasp and tensing up with the hit and over again. He showed Blair whenever he was ready for the next stroke by relaxing.

He had forgotten the downside.

The dildo was pressing directly on his prostate and every tense moment gave him a sharp nudge. He was going to lose control soon if Blair didn't change to something else.

He tried to concentrate on getting his cock to deflate, but found to his surprise that he wasn't more than half-hard anyway. It was all centered in and on his ass.

He was given a small pause as Blair moved to the other side. Breathing deeply, he tried to get under control again. It wasn't helping. His ass was buzzing with sensations, highly sensitised after the prolonged stimulation. He could feel... everything.

More strokes, each one intent on driving him over the brink. Whimpering, he tried to plead for mercy.

"I know, my love. Let it happen. I've got you. I've got you..."

Jim panted frantically, so close to the edge. It was almost impossible for him to relax in between the strokes now. Heat centered deep in him as he felt his world reduce to only encompass his ass and the dildo lodged there.

Everything centered on his ass, and quickly travelling up his spine to explode in his brain. Throwing his head back, he yelled out loud as the strongest orgasm he'd yet experienced rolled through him. Strangely enough, his cock was still limp.

Panting, he collapsed. Blair put the cane down on his back again, and stroked him gently up and down his sides.

"I knew you could do it. So hot. So beautiful. Do you want something to drink?"

Jim nodded weakly.

Soft footfalls fading and then returning. A strong hand helped him lift his head up and placed a straw between his lips. He sucked gratefully at the cool water.

Nodding his thanks, he let go of the straw.

"Ready for more?"

'More?'

The dildo turned in him slightly. Jim gasped as the pleasure spiked again. A tiny pull and subsequent thrust caused him to moan deeply.

"I guess you are."

The delighted chuckle of his Master filled his ears.

He got into the small motions, moving back and forth as much as he could. He'd never thought anything could feel so... intense. A hard smack on his ass cheek made him jump and clench hard again.

He was so sore. And hot.

"You should see your ass, Jim. Striped, deep red, blue in places. So beautiful..."

Sounds almost like a sob reached him, then his hands were loosened.

"I can't wait any longer, Jim. I have to have you."

Gentle fingers rubbed his wrists and helped him raise his hands to lie just over his head. Pins and needles made him twitch a bit. He hadn't noticed his hands falling asleep.

The dildo moved in him again. Twisting and slowly being pulled out. He whimpered.

"Shhh... it's not all over. You'll get me instead..."

Jim tensed up completely with a gasp. His Master's cock... at a time where he was so tender? Oh my... this was either going to be very, very good, or he'd end up split apart.

The other ropes weren't loosened. He was still fixed completely in place. Running a fast systems check, he ascertained that nothing needed to be rearranged. No other limbs sleeping than his hands.

Leather creaking plus the bench shifting told him that Blair had climbed up. Touch told him the same, vast amounts of heat radiating against his skin. Blair was kneeling above him, straddling his thighs.

Almost involuntarily, he tilted his ass upwards as much as he could.

"Don't worry, love. You'll get me soon enough."

Slippery sounds again. This time it would be the real thing, not some fake rendering of a cock. Moaning, he felt his own cock fill completely, the way it hadn't during the caning.

Hands held his cheeks, spreading them. He knew what kind of sight Blair encountered... his entrance gaping, completely slippery and slightly puffy at the edges. The signs of an ass well used.

Wiggling slightly, he begged without words for Blair to get on with it. Thankfully, he didn't have to wait long to feel hot, hard pressure against him.

'Yessss...'

Slow as evolution, he was given all the cock he could handle... and a bit more. Raw whimpers spilled from his mouth as he tried to accommodate the bulk.

"Oh God... you're so tight. So hot. Love you..."

The last broken words came as Blair rested for a moment, all the way inside.

A hitching breath warned him just before Blair started to move. Slow, slow pull out and then back in, equally unhurried. Jim felt as if his insides were slowly turning to mush, melting before the hot length in him.

All his focus travelled down again, following every minute movement of the searing flesh spreading him so wide. It was different than with anyone else... even different than the previous times they'd made love. His center of the world had shifted, travelled from his cock to his ass.

Not that his cock wasn't interested. In fact, he was harder than ever before, drooling steadily onto the floor. If he wanted to, he could hear each drop land.

He didn't want to. He just wanted to feel.

Blair was speeding up in him, thrusting harder and faster than before.

"So good, so hot, so tight... your ass is striped bright red... and I did that... I fucking own you, Jim Ellison... I own you..."

Whimpering, Jim couldn't even find the voice to confirm that statement.

"I'm going to come inside you soon, fill you up... I want you to come with me... come on my cock... nothing else... just my cock in your sweet ass... and soon... cos I can't hold on much longer... so good..."

Jim moaned deeply. It was happening again... he felt like his soul was inside his ass, being pounded over and over. He was going to explode, balls tight, but ignored. He knew his cock was swelling the last bit, but again it was not important. Only thing important was the simultaneous swelling of Blair, thrusts coming hard and fast now.

He was being pounded to a pulp and loving every second of it.

"Now, Jim... now, now, now, NOW!"

Each word accompanied an extra hard thrust into him, and he couldn't do anything but respond the only way left for him. He arched his ass as high as possible, providing maximum access. At the same time, he braced his arms on the bench and threw his head up in an almost backbreaking arch.

Howling out his ecstasy, he dimly heard Blair cry out at the same time. Every single muscle in his body contracted in the same rhythm... his ass, his cock, his heart... it felt like dying and being born at the same time. Pain and pleasure intertwined in a way never experienced before.

And over it all, Blair. Sound, scent, touch. All locked in with his Master of now and forever.

Jim felt as if every bone in his body had liquefied, and he was now merging with the bench underneath him. He couldn't move. Dimly, he felt Blair pull out slowly, their skin almost glued together by sweat.

More sounds and movements told him that Blair had crawled off the bench to stand beside him, panting for his breath.

"Jim? You still alive, man?"

He nodded faintly.

Blair sighed heavily and started to untie the ropes at his waist. When done, he moved down to do untie Jim's ankles. Shortly, Jim was lying unfettered on the bench.

Jim still didn't feel like moving.

A warm washcloth was gently cleaning off the overflow of lube and semen dribbling from his tender hole. Jim purred slightly. That was the only response he had the energy to give.

"Come on, man... let's get you vertical again. Upsidaisy..."

Moving like an invalid, Jim finally ended up sitting on the bench instead of lying down. He smiled tiredly to his Master. He was sore in and on his ass, his balls felt like they were drained and then some, but he felt more at peace than ever before.

He reached out and gently enfolded his lover in a soft hug.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"Thank you, Jim... for letting me in, for trusting me, for loving me."

They kissed, sweetly and gently, for long minutes until neither of them could do any longer without fresh air.

Extricating themselves, they moved upstairs to cuddle on their big bed. There would be time to straighten up the living room later. For now they needed to be close without thought of obligations or anything else.

Tomorrow would be soon enough to spend further energy. First they needed to restore it. One final kiss, and they slept.

The next days found Jim generally floating on cloud nine. Yeah, he'd groused a bit the first morning, trying to clean off the dried semen on the floor, but the level of satisfaction in his body was just too high to stay grumpy for long.

Blair had proceeded throughout most of the weekend to take utter control. Only in the shower had he been allowed to take his collar off, even on a trip to the store had he worn it. Concealed under his clothes, but still... knowing it was there, was a rush outweighing any potential embarrassment.

And Saturday evening... Jim shuddered at the memory. It wasn't truly wise of him to sit at his desk and think of these things, but any chance they got, those memories popped right back in.

They'd been watching some movie. Blair had made Jim lie over his lap, and during the entire movie fingers had been caressing him. His cock and balls and his ass. Mainly his ass. Blair had justified it by saying he wanted to further test Jim's ability to come from the inside.

Boy, had he ever tested that.

At the end of the evening his legs didn't work any more, too shaky after having come something like five times. Blair had led him up to their bedroom and proceeded to ride him like a bronco until they both exploded.

"Hey, Ellison. Got lucky this weekend?"

Jim looked up. Brown was looking at him with a wide grin on his face. He tilted his head questioningly.

"Your smile, man. You look... lucky."

Feeling a silly smile break out again, Jim didn't say anything. He just kept smiling while bending his head to the file on his desk.

Yeah, he was lucky. Very lucky.

Jim sat down at his desk and looked at his caseload. Today was a day of joy and sorrow. Today it was six months since that fatal night at the club. Today it was also three months since Blair had claimed him.

He wondered what his Master had planned for tonight. Something special, he guessed, even though the past months had been quite special for them. He still considered himself more than lucky. He had Blair. And Blair had him... heart, body and soul.

He looked up again and glanced over the room. Simon often looked as if he had guessed the truth behind his and Blair's relationship, or at least that there was one. The others... Rafe and Brown had given them some looks, but they hadn't commented on anything within his hearing. Megan... he had the feeling she'd believed they were together from the moment she arrived. It didn't matter.

What did matter was that no one had given them any hassle after the incident. They'd taken his word for what had gone down then, and as far as he knew, they hadn't looked further than that.

For that he was grateful.

But today... in a way he wanted to get Blair something to commemorate the occasion, but yet... it wasn't an entirely good date to remember. Oh well. It was only a bit past lunch. He still had time to think of something. And if not, Blair would still understand.

He still was queasy about the scars, and certain toys still made him nervous. Blair couldn't use a paddle on him, for example. And positions... especially being on his back, then Blair couldn't stand at his head without risking a flashback. He hated that weakness of his flesh, but it was a fact. A fact, which Blair accepted fully.

Jim tried to drag his attention back to the file in front of him, but found his mind totally disinclined to do work-related thinking. It kept going back to these past months, to experiences with his Master and with his lover. The two were of course the same, but yet so very different.

The Master in complete control, not giving Jim much slack. The lover completely attentive and giving. Hm... wait. That fit for both of them. The lover was also in control, and the Master was attentive and giving. Oh well... suffice it to say that Jim was having the time of his life.

He was still very, very lucky.

The phone snapped him out of the well of memories.

"Ellison."

"Tonight we'll create new, good memories. I want to give you the night you deserve."

"Chief?"

A low chuckle from the other end. He could hear students faintly in the background. Blair was still at the university.

"I'll meet you at the Loft tonight. We're going out to a special place, so I want you to do a few things right after you get home."

"Hm?"

Jim opened his hearing further as his lover lowered his voice.

"I need you cleaned up completely. Inside and outside. And I'll put out some clothes for you. Don't worry about dinner or anything. I've got it all planned."

"Why does you having a plan make me nervous, Chief?"

Deep, smooth laughter curled through his ears and down to his groin. Shit. Even after this long he couldn't help but harden at the sound of that particular laugh.

"Because you know me. And don't try to fool me, man. I know, you're hard now. I also know, you're joking to cover up how you really feel. So be a good boy, Jim. Work hard and meet me when you're done with the police work."

The strange emphasis on 'police' didn't help matters any. Jim hastily mumbled an agreement to Blair and hung up. Tonight they'd go out. A special night. Make new memories, good memories. Out? 'He's taking me to the club!'

His concentration for work was now officially shot. Jim spent the next long while sitting and staring at the same page, thoughts twirling.

"Ellison! My office!"

Still slightly dazed, he found his way to Simon's office and entered before his mind caught up to what was going on.

"You wanted to see me, sir?"

"Jim. You haven't done a thing the past hour. You look like hell."

"Captain, I..."

Jim felt he at least had to give some kind of explanation to his admittedly weird behaviour.

"No offence, Jim, but I don't think you want to tell me. I don't want you to tell me. Just... go home. I'll see you Monday."

Jim made one more attempt at explaining, but he hadn't more than just opened his mouth before Simon spoke up again.

"Say 'Thank you, Captain. Have a nice weekend.'"

"Thank you, Captain. Have a nice weekend," Jim mimicked.

"Go on. Go home. Let the kid take care of you for now."

Jim left, still hearing Simon mutter something about this being a police station, not a day-care center.

Grabbing his jacket, Jim couldn't help but wonder what Blair would say to him being home so early. Hopefully, he wouldn't interrupt any preparations for tonight. Changing course from the elevator back to his desk, he decided to make a quick call to the Loft to tell that he was on his way.

As predicted, Blair immediately got worried that something was wrong. He did some fancy footwork and got off the hook. He didn't even let it slip, that he already had figured out what would happen tonight. Or at least, where they would be going eventually.

Dread and anxiety lay like lead in his stomach, but he trusted his Guide. Everything to Blair was about protection. Protection of this one Sentinel, fucked up as he was.

If Blair felt a trip to the club was a good idea, then he trusted that to be right. His Master would at least try to make it right.

Somehow.

On the way home, Jim stopped at one of the smaller kinky shops. He'd been there with Blair, or rather, his Master, a few times before and knew their selection was top class. It was after all their anniversary, and he should get something. The plans for tonight were scary and making him all jittery, but that didn't mean he should slight his lover and Master.

The guy behind the counter looked young, barely out of his twenties. He belonged in the shop all right, what with several visible piercings and a t-shirt depicting the leather flag.

"Hi there. Can I help you or are you just looking?"

Jim swept the room with a glance. They would have what he was looking for. He would be surprised if they didn't.

"Yeah. I'm looking for a special present. I was thinking of a cane. Rattan, but not raw as most are. Something more... classy, perhaps. Is that something you have?"

The guy looked thoughtful for a moment, then brightened.

"I think we have just what you're looking for, honey. If you'll come with me..."

Jim followed him down towards the back of the shop until they reached a barrel holding several ordinary canes, a smattering of training crops originally meant for horses, and a small selection of treated canes.

One of them caught his eye immediately. It was not a rattan cane, but everything about it screamed 'Blair' to him. It was one of the training crops, the handle gleaming silver and black and the 'business part' pure black.

It was beautiful, wicked and looked like it would hurt so good.

Jim picked it up. It was light, but fit well in a hand. He hit the air tentatively. Flexible, but not too much. Judging carefully, he tried to imagine at which distance Blair would have to be from him to hit correctly with the three-foot long crop in his hand. Not too far.

"Perfect. How much for this?"

"Thirty dollars. May I say that you've got excellent taste? This is one of our most sold types. They usually go like warm buns."

They both snickered a bit at the bad pun.

"I'll take it. Don't want it to go anywhere, but it could warm up a pair of buns nicely."

The sales guy actually blushed faintly. Nothing visible, but he put out a lot of extra heat.

"It must be someone very special you're getting this for. Is it your own sub?"

Jim opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, trying to decide what to say. He'd seldom had sales people come on to him, but he could see a pass when he met it.

Finally he decided to go with the truth.

"It's an anniversary present for my Master."

The young guy's head snapped up from looking at the cash register.

"Damn. Should have known."

"What?"

The guy smiled faintly.

"The most butch ones are," he ticked off on his fingers, "one, taken, or two, sub, or three, straight. The third category usually doesn't come here, though."

Jim quirked an eyebrow.

"Listen, I'll just wrap this up somehow and shut up in the meantime. That way I won't put my foot in any deeper than it already is. How does that sound to you?"

Jim smiled at the obvious discomfort on the other side of the counter.

"I've got a better suggestion. What's your name?"

"Danny. Why?"

"Danny, I'm Jim. I've got an idea that might or might not be good. Do you ever go to Spanky's?"

Danny looked decidedly uncomfortable.

"Not for a long while. Not since that guy almost got killed six months ago."

"Where you there?"

"No! A friend of mine was. He helped the guy outside. He told me that most of the good people have vanished since then. But the bitch is still there."

"Rose?"

"Yeah, or whatever her name is. She was the one who did it."

"I know," Jim said quietly.

"Danny, that friend of yours? Will you thank him for me?"

Danny looked confused.

Jim smiled a little evilly.

"My Master is getting even with her tonight. If you want, come and see."

"You were that guy. Oh honey, are you ok? I mean, from the sounds of what John told, you were really bad off."

"I'm fine now."

Jim didn't want to talk more about it. With a minimum of fuss, he paid for the present and got a promise from Danny that he'd be there tonight. If nothing else, then just to watch the show.

Waving as he went, Jim exited the shop and headed for his truck and home. Home... where his Master waited for him. Shivering and smiling at the same time, Jim pulled out into the traffic and steered towards Prospect Avenue.

Jim entered the Loft with trepidation. Hiding the long parcel behind his back, he took off his coat and his holster, listening for the calm heartbeat located upstairs.

"I'm home, Master," he called out softly.

"Be right with you, Jim. I'm just... ugh, finding the last bit."

A muffled curse and a 'thud' followed the statement. Puzzled, Jim considered opening his senses or going up to see what was making the sound. Shaking his head at himself, he decided instead on getting a cold drink and to sift through his mail until Blair would come downstairs again.

The moment Blair came down the steps, Jim put the letters away and moved the parcel from the table down to one of the other chairs. It was mainly commercial stuff anyway. Nothing important and certainly nothing as important as what would happen tonight.

Blair looked normal. For now. Jim had no doubts that his wicked lover would drive him insane later on with his attire and attitude.

"Hey there, lover. How was your day?"

"Fine."

Jim received a warm hug and a kiss.

"Fine? Ok... so, you got so much done that Simon let you off early, huh?"

Jim felt his cheeks heat up.

"Well... uh... not exactly..."

He rubbed his neck and tried to look away. He looked back up in surprise, when he found that the deceptively loose grip Blair had on his shoulders prevented him from turning.

"The truth, Jim."

"Are you really going to take me to the club tonight?"

Jim tried hard to keep the whine out of his voice, but he could immediately see on Blair's expression that he wasn't successful.

"You figured it out, hm? Shoulda known. They didn't give you that title for nothing, man."

Blair chuckled a bit then turned serious.

"Are you just worried about it, or is it more than that?"

Jim took a deep breath.

"I've been thinking of nothing else ever since the phone call. I'm... worried. That's safe to say. I keep wondering if I want to meet her again so I can... confront her, or if I hope she won't be there."

Jim wrapped his arms around his torso, seeking to warm his suddenly frozen insides. No sooner had he done it, then Blair gently disentangled his arms and hugged him.

"I want to see her, Jim. I want her to see what she missed out on. You, Jim. Wonderful, gorgeous you. I want her to eat her heart out with envy at the fact that you're mine and nobody else's. And... I want to meet the person who hurt you. I want so see who she is."

Jim gave in to the hug, soaking in the steady strength radiating towards him. It didn't take long before he noticed their position, feeling his back protest the awkwardness of it. Pulling back, he smiled apologetically at Blair.

"Sorry, Chief. My back isn't young enough to hug across a couple of chairs anymore."

Breathing deeply a couple of times, Jim composed himself. He could see Blair doing somewhat the same thing. Feeling under control again, he smiled shyly.

"Chief? I was wondering... what does that plan of yours entail? Not for tonight, but now. I know, I kinda threw things off schedule by arriving home so early, but..."

Squeezing his hand affectionately, Blair rose and fetched a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Don't worry about it. Everything's under control. Including me. So just relax, read your mail and chill out. I'll let you know when it's time to do something else."

Jim shivered. The last sentence was pure steel, again.

Ducking his head to hide his face, certain that every emotion flowing through him was visible, Jim flipped over a couple of letters. By the time he felt enough in control to look back up, Blair had already gone back upstairs.

For a second he thought, again, of listening in to whatever was going on up there. As before, he decided not to.

It was strange doing these every-day kinds of things, knowing that it could change any minute. Still, Jim found that he couldn't hold on to the tension for long. He finished the last of his drink and stood up. Grabbing the present from the other chair, he went to sit on the couch after depositing the empty bottle in the bin.

Idly flipping through a few channels before setting on a pre-game program, he relaxed even further. So much so, that Blair had to shake his shoulder gently to rouse him from the light doze he'd fallen in to.

"Rise and shine, love. Time to open those pretties of yours."

"Huh? Blair? What time is it?"

Rubbing his cheeks vigorously, Jim tried to snap up to full awareness.

"It's four in the afternoon. You've slept about an hour. Feel better now?"

Mumbling something that could be interpreted as agreement, Jim sat up fully and looked at the now blank television screen. Taking a better stock of himself, he deemed a bathroom trip was in order and rose to his feet.

"Jim?"

He stopped.

"Hm?"

"I want you completely clean, so call me when you're ready."

'Oh shit. He wants to oversee it, taking control over that part of me again.' Jim wasn't quite able to figure out whether he should be instantly hard or totally embarrassed. It became a strange mix of those two emotions, causing his blood to flow in opposite directions simultaneously.

At the toilet Jim grumbled while trying to get soft enough to relieve himself. When he was drained, he called out mischievously, "I'm done now, daddy."

A loud snort met his ears and he grinned at Blair now standing in the doorway.

Blair went to him and stroked a gentle hand up and down his back. Kissing softly, they spent several minutes just enjoying the closeness. When moving apart Jim could see the power settle over his lover. He was no longer in room with the gentle lover, but with the stern Master.

"Strip."

Feeling like teasing, Jim took his time undressing. He folded each garment carefully before placing it in the hamper and going for the next piece of clothing. Each time he flexed or turned he could hear a sharp breath being drawn from beside him. He didn't think Blair was even conscious of the fact he was doing it.

Finally standing naked, Jim spread his legs slightly and went to 'parade rest' position.

He watched with that curious mix of embarrassment and anticipation as his Master reached behind the door to get one of the disposable enema kits hanging there. This time he didn't try to control his blood flow, showing Blair both his heated face and his burgeoning erection.

With a minimum of fuss, Blair filled the kit with tepid water and mixed in some baby oil and a bit of salt. It was then hung up on a small hook next to the shower curtain and Blair grabbed hold of the end piece.

"Lean over the sink, Jim. Give me access to you."

Jim turned willingly and spread his legs a bit further while grabbing hold of the edge of the basin.

Gentle fingers probed his entrance, smearing KY on the surface and about an inch inwards. Jim felt his guts clench for a moment, desire warring with anxiety.

"Relax. Let me in, Jim. Let me prepare you the right way."

Jim took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. The end of the tube was inserted at the same speed as he expelled the air. About the same time as he was ready to inhale again, the tube went through the second ring and was in place.

He could now only wait for the water to start flowing.

"Here it comes, Jim."

The first rush of water made Jim look over his shoulder to verify on the position of the water container. He was right. It was slightly further away than usual, making the hose almost straight. In effect, it flowed with a higher velocity than normal.

Jim groaned as he almost immediately started to feel full. He strained to relax and accept it, but found it hard to adjust.

"Breathe deeply. You can handle it. Think of it as a test of your endurance."

Warm hands rubbed his back in small circles. Jim took slow, deep breaths and felt the pressure lessen. Blair's touch always helped, even more when it was in connection with words.

Turning inwards as much as he dared, Jim kept track of the liquid filling him through his sense of touch. He grounded himself in the soft words from behind him, and in the gentle touch to his back.

As the first micro-cramp twisted his insides, Jim shifted his weight from foot to foot in an attempt to alleviate the pressure. He dared a look over his shoulder to look at the amount of water left.

Less than half left.

Tiny twinges rippled his abdomen, his insides protesting the stretch. Jim straightened up a bit, and then bent even lower.

"Too much?"

Jim stifled a groan.

"Noooo, just... filling up fast. Could you... slow it down a bit, please?"

One tiny adjustment later and Jim was more comfortable. He would never be really comfortable with enemas, wouldn't even want to become that, but it shouldn't be worse than absolutely necessary.

Finally, he had it all. Jim straightened up and bounced experimentally. Not too much. Good. Turning and dropping to his knees, Jim leaned forward to press his cheek against Blair's leg.

"Thank you, Master."

Blair stroked Jim's hair affectionately.

"You are so good."

A sigh drifted down to Jim's ears. Jim didn't make a move to get up and Blair never stopped caressing the short hair until Jim moaned and wiggled.

"I need to go now."

Blair took a step back and helped Jim stand up.

"Finish up. Shower when you're done and come join me in the living room. Don't get dressed."

Jim bowed his head.

"Yes, Master."

Blair walked out.

Clean, naked and dry, Jim walked back out. His anxiety and arousal had lessened by the menial tasks of showering, but seeing Blair waiting for him brought it all back.

He walked quietly over to kneel in front of his Master. Blair took his time before looking up from his magazine, the very picture of relaxed and laid back.

"Looking good, Jim. Now, even though I hate to see that body of yours covered in anything but sweat, you need to get dressed. Here's what I want you to wear first."

With that, Blair reached to his side and handed over a medium sized butt plug and some lube. Jim snapped to attention, hard. He was going to wear that during the dinner? Oh my...

With hands only slightly shaking, Jim accepted and slicked it up. Still not moving from his kneeling position, he spread his legs further and spread the lube around his entrance. He was interrupted by a negating shake of Blair's head.

"Turn around and show yourself."

Stamping down on his traitorous cheeks that insisted on heating up, Jim turned slowly until his back was right in front of Blair. Bending slightly and resting one arm on the floor in front of him, he slowly slid in the plug.

"Hot... God, Jim, sometimes I just can't believe you're letting me do this... and yet I'm still wondering why we didn't do this sooner."

"Wouldn't have been the right time."

Jim wanted to snap up his own words as soon as they left his mouth. He hadn't been given the permission to speak. Fortunately Blair didn't seem to mind the slip in manners.

Blair chuckled softly behind him.

"You, Jim Ellison? You believe in fate? Let me mark the day."

A swift slap stung his right butt cheek.

"Consider it marked," Blair snickered.

A soft sigh.

"But you're right, you know. It wouldn't have been the right time for us. We both needed to go through this ordeal before being able to accept this next step. Some nineties men we are, huh? Score one for macho bullshit and obfuscations. Well, at least we're here now, together. Hurt in our souls, but wiser and stronger for it. You're mine, Jim. Now and forever."

At the last word the plug was all the way in, snapping past the protective muscle with an audible, to Jim at least, pop. He sighed happily, both at the words and the fact that the plug was now seated deep inside him.

"So hot... I wish you could see yourself, Jim. That gorgeous ass of yours stretched around the plug... at the same time providing and blocking access to you. And you know what I like best about it? That I am the one controlling that access."

Jim started as he felt cool fingers skirt around the edge of the plug, then leaned into the caress. He whimpered as the contact was withdrawn.

"Face me."

Even slower this time, Jim turned. He tried to kill the moan tickling the back of his throat. He could see on Blair's smirk that yet again, he wasn't successful in hiding his reactions.

"I also want you to wear this."

Blair held out the collar. Blushing deeper and harder than ever, Jim accepted by bowing his head. He shivered once, forcefully, at the tiny creak of the leather as it bent around his neck.

"You're mine, Jim. Don't forget that."

Cool fingers caressed his neck just above his collar. Jim could hear the tiny clicking sounds as each breath made the tag move gently.

He would now have tactile, aural and olfactory reminders in case he would forget for a single moment. He belonged to Blair, body and soul.

"Now, what's with the package here?"

Blair looked at him queryingly. Jim blushed despite his best efforts and looked down.

"Um... your present, Master. For tonight. If you want to."

He could hear a rustle and another sound, that indicated Blair shaking the oblong package lightly. More rustling sounds. Blair was opening the present, not caring where the tape ended up. The sudden silence made him look up.

Blair was holding the crop up, testing the grip and looking at the length of it.

"It's beautiful, Jim. You got that for me? Or was it more for yourself?"

Jim couldn't help but answer the wicked grin with a smile of his own.

"A bit of both, I'm afraid. How... how do you like it?"

"I love it! I can't wait to test it out! But, before you say anything more, no. I'm not going to do it now. I want you to focus on other things than a sore ass while we eat."

Jim knew only too well what he'd focus on... the plug and the collar. They were commanding his attention with his every breath, reminding him. He inclined his head, waiting for his orders before making a move.

"Go upstairs. I put out some clothes for you. Don't wear anything else but what I put there."

Smiling serenely, Jim rose to his feet and went up. Already at the top of the stairs he could see the selection. Turning to look questioningly at his wicked Master, he got a shrug and a wink.

"No additions, Jim. Only the clothes I put out."

Worn blue jeans, washed so often they were almost white. Turtleneck. Socks. Shoes standing on the floor. Nothing else. No underwear.

Jim swallowed heavily. Then he started to wriggle his way into the jeans. 'I should consider myself lucky if I can breathe tonight.' The turtleneck was next. It was a stroke of brilliance on Blair's part. The neck of it was just high enough that the collar was hidden from a casual look, partly due to the fact that it was black. Socks and shoes followed in rapid succession and then he was all set.

Walking carefully down the stairs, Jim found out the number one discomfort and distraction he would have tonight. The plug was jostled ever so slightly with each step, sitting pressed firmly up against him as it was, and his cock rubbed softly against the worn denim.

Dinner was going to be hard.

Blair looked him over as he walked and smiled broadly.

"You look hot. Just the way I hoped it would look. And the collar isn't too visible. Good. Let's go."

"Where are you taking me?"

Blair smiled enigmatically.

"You'll see when we get there."

"Lulu's Noodle Shop?"

Jim looked over at the grinning face of his Blair.

"Yup! Thai food is good for you, gets your blood rolling faster. It also doesn't hurt that you can get a lot of healthy stuff, and that it tastes good too."

Jim sighed, even if he was smiling inwardly. With Blair he could enjoy most of the Thai food again, something he'd thought was a lost cause before they met. Spice in his life. That's what Blair was to him.

Inside, they found a table near the back. It was perfect for their purpose. Not many customers were near them, and they weren't at one of the major traffic routes created by the waiters, plus they were far enough away from the toilets that the smell from them didn't reach Jim's nose.

The waiter came and stood patiently by while Blair ordered for the both of them. The amount of dishes mentioned indicated that they were going to feed a small army instead of just two men.

Dismissing mundane matters like those, Jim wiggled in his seat. The plug was calling for his attention constantly now. The jeans were tight enough to hold it firmly in place, but sitting down meant that it got pushed even harder. Even the slightest wiggle made it move inside him.

"Jim," Blair called softly when they were alone again. "If you make yourself come here in the restaurant, you'll have to take off your shirt. Do you want to sit here amongst everybody else and visibly be a slave?"

Jim shook his head mutely and stilled the movements.

"Good boy."

When the food arrived Blair was talking about his day, telling small anecdotes about the people he'd run into during his hours at Rainier in the morning. Sidetracks about this and that kept them both occupied until they both looked down in surprise at their empty plates.

Sheepishly, Jim looked at the assorted bowls spread over the table. He couldn't quite understand how they'd managed to pack it all away.

Jim felt eyes resting on him, until he looked up to meet the serious eyes of his Master.

"Are you ready?"

Jim gulped.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

Blair smiled.

"I guess that's the best I can hope for."

Jim thought for a moment. Blair had talked about his morning as a means of distraction. Keeping his mind off the club. It had worked perfectly.

Blair caught the attention of their waiter and talked with him about how he'd really love to get some of their recipes, but that he'd just have to keep on coming back until he could figure it out. Oh, and that it was a wonderful meal.

Jim wouldn't know. He could barely remember putting anything in his mouth, absorbed with Blair as he'd been. As they stood to get their coats, Jim stopped Blair with a hand on his elbow.

"Thanks, Chief, err... I mean..."

"We're not there yet. You can call me Chief."

No further comments. Blair knew. Jim smiled a bit wider, happy to be here, now, with his one true Master. They could go slay the demon of his past now.

Back in the Volvo Blair turned to look at Jim.

"Take off your shirt."

Jim thought of protesting, of saying they were in public, that it was indecent behaviour and that someone might see him. One look at his Master's face and all the arguments died. He would obey. Of course. His Master had given an order.

Moving carefully, he got the shirt over his head and folded it neatly. He placed it on the backseat before turning back to face Blair.

Blair smiled and ran a hand over Jim's chest, lightly flicking a nipple on his way. Without a word, he faced front again and started the engine.

The drive to the club was a silent one. Blair didn't speak, leaving Jim to his thoughts. Yes, he wanted to face her again. Yes, he wanted to put it behind him. Was he strong enough to actually do it? He looked over at his Master and mentally slapped himself. He might not be strong enough, but Blair was more than adept at standing up for the two of them.

As they parked, right in front of the entrance, Blair turned back to Jim.

"Last chance. Are you ready for tonight? Do you want this to happen? Cos if you don't, say so, and we'll go elsewhere. I don't want to force you, man."

Jim took a deep breath.

"I'll regret it if I don't. Let's go."

Jim moved to open the door when Blair stopped him. Looking quizzically at him, he noted with amusement that Blair's face was heating up.

"I... I've got something more for you to wear. It might be a borderline, that's why I'm asking you this time. Will you wear this?"

Blair pulled out a dog leash from his pocket and held it between them.

Jim never hesitated. He reached out and put his hand over Blair's and nodded. Remembering suddenly that it was dark enough that Blair might not see the movement he added to it with words.

"Yes. I'd be honoured to wear it. Stake your claim publicly, Master."

Blair left the car and came around to Jim's side, opening the door. Leaning in, he attached the leash to Jim's collar and tugged gently.

"Now we can go."

Jim grabbed the bag Blair had packed and put in the car as they left the Loft, and followed happily. Rose was going to get a big surprise tonight.

If she was there.

Jim sighed in relief as they entered the club without being noticed by anyone. He didn't want extra pressure on them tonight. He noticed that Blair took a quick look around at the people there, at the interior.

"Quite the last chance kinda place, huh?"

Jim mumbled affirmatively. It was, really. And it still looked it. Nothing had changed since that night. It didn't even look like the people had changed. Same faces or at least same kind of faces. And... she was here.

Jim spotted her standing at the bar, talking up a storm with one of the Dommes. The other girl looked sceptically at Rose, apparently not believing a word of what she heard.

On the other side of the bar, close to another group of young guys, he spotted Danny. Under the guise of shifting the bag, Jim got Blair to hold still long enough to point Danny out.

"He works in the shop where I got your present, Master," he muttered hastily.

Blair started walking in that direction, reaching a destination next to that group, but still separate. Smiling warmly at the bartender, he ordered a bottle of soda for them both.

"No beer for us tonight. I want the both of us to have a clear head."

Jim didn't even pretend to disagree. They were as one, also in this.

"So, Danny... how well do you know him?"

Jim raised his head to meet Blair's eyes.

"I talked with him today, nothing much, but... a friend of his was the guy who helped me then."

Blair reached out to caress his arm, ruffling and smoothing the hairs there.

"Did you know that or did he tell you?"

"He told," Jim clarified.

Blair nodded as if he expected that answer. Then he suddenly smiled and turned towards the group.

Jim could see the flush of recognition on Danny's face before the gaze shifted to land on Blair. Opening up his senses tentatively, he took in the myriads of input before clamping down on smell. Hard.

He really didn't need to smell anything in here. Stale beer, smoke, sex. All together it was a mix fit to make his stomach turn. His hearing and sight told him the truth. All who spotted Blair was instantly in lust.

He couldn't blame them. His Master was hot tonight... threadbare jeans that did nothing to hide what he was packing, leather vest showing off his chest hairs, the nipple ring and the ankh hanging from a leather cord.

Danny was absolutely no exception. His heartbeat started racing and his cheeks flushed a bit. Nevertheless, he gathered his composure fast and reached out a hand in greetings.

"Hi, you must be Jim's Master. He told me about you earlier."

Blair laughed.

"I hope it wasn't too horrible. Hi Danny, I'm Blair."

Danny quickly introduced the rest of the group, looking significantly at Jim as he introduced a guy named John. Jim got the picture. This was the guy who'd called for an ambulance and helped him outside.

Holding back a bit until Blair had talked briefly with all of them, Jim jiggled the leash a tiny bit. Immediately Blair turned to face him.

"Master, can I... I mean, may I... oh damn. May I talk to John for a moment?"

Inwardly cursing his own inability to express himself freely, Jim fidgeted as he waited for an answer.

"Of course you may. But I'll keep holding on to you."

The latter was said with a bright smile, so Jim knew it wasn't a threat, but merely Blair's territoriality brought out in full.

Stepping forward, Jim caught the eyes of John and tried to show his gratitude through that alone. It didn't seem to work, so he had to speak.

"John, I... I just wanted to say 'Thank you'. You know for what."

Jim shrugged helplessly, giving up on finding more to say without exposing himself. Fortunately, John got the picture immediately. Smiling brightly, he stepped forward a tiny bit, and then looked over at Blair.

"Blair, Sir? Can I give him a hug?"

At the nodded permission, John closed the gap and hugged Jim tightly.

"No problem, man. I'm just happy you're ok. I really wanted to do more then, but... I just couldn't, you understand?"

The whispered words reached no further than Jim's ears. Nobody else heard it. For that Jim was grateful.

"I understand. I forgive you, in case you needed that. I'm ok... Blair takes good care of me."

They both stepped back, Jim to be half a step behind his Master, and John to sit beside Danny again.

Not long after that, Jim followed Blair along the bar. Blair wanted to see everything in the room. It was, for Jim, causing a strange mix between revulsion and attraction to see the various props and tools placed around the room. He had the task of telling his Master about each item, if he liked it, had he been there, would he like to be in or on this or that thing again.

Only at one place did Jim balk. The bench. Taking a step back, he averted his eyes, furiously trying to get the memories out of his head.

"This the place, Jim? The bad one?"

He nodded tightly and clenched his jaw on the whimper building behind his closed lips.

"It can't hurt you anymore. It's just a bench now. Look at it, Jim."

Blair reached out and cupped his jaw.

"Look at it, I said."

Reluctantly, Jim obeyed.

"It's a bench. Dead. Alone. It can't hurt you. The memories can't hold you any longer. You're free. Can you feel it? It's just a piece of equipment, nothing scary."

Jim looked. By itself, the bench was quite harmless. Worn down and aged. Like the club itself. He could see cracks in the covering of it. He could see a few greasy spots from sweat and other things he didn't want to think of right now.

It posed no threat.

Relaxing a tiny bit, he gave a tentative nod.

"It's... just a bench."

He wasn't quite prepared for the sturdy body slamming into him and hugging him until his ribs were creaking.

"I knew you could do it, man. God, I love you."

The hug helped Jim regain control of his ragged emotions. He wasn't quite sure whether he should be absolutely livid at Blair for making him go through this, or if he should thank him. Reaching deep inside himself to where the black pit had been for the past half a year, he made up his mind.

He should thank Blair. Every chance he got.

The pit was lighter and not quite so scary.

"You're my light," he mumbled, not caring whether Blair figured out the meaning behind it or not.

Separating, they both took a deep breath. Grinning, they fell back into role with Blair securing the leash and Jim bowing his head slightly. Everything about his Master screamed that the night was far from over.

The tour was concluded shortly, and Blair directed them to a table on the opposite side of the room from the bench.

"Get me another soda and my bag. I deposited it with Danny while you weren't looking. Only one soda, Jim."

Jim went to the bar. Not until he was practically there, did he notice on which side of the bar they were.

Rose was right in from of him, between himself and the bar. He'd have to acknowledge her presence. A mumbled 'excuse me' got him past her... the first time.

Turning around from paying, he almost stepped on her foot.

He froze.

"I know you, I think..."

She raised a hand as if to lay it on his chest.

"Did you use to be one of my pets? Yes, you were... such a slut... finally come back to where you belong, slut?"

Jim tried to shrink from her touch without seeming to. He focused his hearing on Blair, one thought running through his mind. 'Why isn't he here when I need him?'

"Jim," he heard from right behind her. "Bring me my drink now."

Distracted, she turned slightly. Jim saw his window of opportunity and slipped past her. He forced out a civil enough smile to pass muster with most people as he sat down at the table.

Blair didn't buy it for one second.

"Did you doubt me?"

Jim didn't answer.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes!"

Jim's answer was immediate and louder than he'd intended.

"Then I'll ask you again. Did you doubt that I'd be there for you?"

Jim clenched his jaw tighter, not trusting himself to speak right now.

"Ok, listen. I hadn't intended to tell you this, but... I wanted you to run into her now. I wanted her to know you were here. And that you weren't alone anymore. She's not going to hurt you ever again, Jim. The only way I can assure that is by showing her that you are off limits for her. She'll see."

Jim looked up. Blair had a nasty little smile on his face, but it wasn't meant for him, rather at the blonde devil standing calmly at the bar again.

No.

Seemingly calm.

Her heart was beating fast and her eyes kept returning to their table.

She was aware of him all right. And of Blair.

"Now, go get the bag for me. And Jim? Get a glass of ice cubes too."

Jim shivered.

Ice. Blair was going to play sense games? Hurrying, he secured the bag from beside Danny, flashing a big grin at the two guys guarding it. Then he asked the bartender for the ice. The people nearby overhearing the request suddenly got very attentive.

Walking back swiftly, Jim felt himself going deep into the part where he'd do anything for his Master. It wasn't often that the mood stole over him so swiftly, but tonight... tonight was special. Tonight it was easy to do whatever Blair wanted.

To let go of control. To feel.

Jim dropped to his knees, holding the bag up before him on outstretched arms. Long minutes passed in that position while feeling Blair's eyes roam almost tangibly over his body. He knew the sight was appreciated by the flush of heat emanating from just a few feet away.

Apparently accepted, the bag was lifted and put down next to Blair's chair.

Jim dropped his arms to his side and kept waiting. He would wait for however long was demanded of him. Small sounds combined with barely seen movements told him that Blair was riffling through the bag, probably lining up what he need on the table.

Jim took great pride in not looking.

"Jim."

He looked up.

"Bring the small horse over here and place it right about where you are now."

Flowing to his feet as gracefully as he could, Jim went to get the requested piece of equipment. It looked mostly like a sawbuck, but it was broader on top. It was also lightly padded on the top plank, and modified with hooks near the floor on each leg.

No sooner was it in place, than Blair stood up and grabbed hold of the leash again. Kept in place with a firm grip, Jim could do nothing but enjoy the sensations as Blair caressed his chest teasingly.

"Getting hot, Jim? Oh yeah... you are... I can see it. These little ones are peaking for me, aren't they? Oh, and this one, of course..."

His Master went from pinching his nipples to cupping his groin and squeezing gently.

Jim tried to buck into the hand, but to no avail. The collar made sure he stayed in one place unless he wanted a nasty crick in his neck and the hand discouraged him from moving backwards. As suddenly as the sensation had started, it stopped, and Jim was left standing, held up only by the leash and the grip on it.

"Strip."

Jim looked up briefly and determined that his Master was indeed serious about this. He was going to bare it all in front of everybody. He looked down again and moved his hands to his button fly.

Deliberately slow, he popped each button before sliding the soft denim down to bunch at his ankles. He could hear some muttered comments from behind him, but tuned them out purposefully.

Blair gestured pointedly towards his jeans, and Jim stepped out of them, toeing his shoes off at the same time. He spared a brief glance at the untidy pile and then dismissed it.

A feather soft touch to his buttocks informed him where his Master's attention was. Without being asked, he spread his legs a bit wider, providing full access to the plug inside him and the rest of his backside.

"You want this, Jim? Here, in the open where they can all watch?"

A sudden jerk on the leash brought his head down to rest against the horse while Blair explored him deeper. The plug was jostled a couple of times before all sensations stopped. Jim realized an answer was required.

"Yes, Master."

Low chuckles preceded a hard slap on his ass.

"I know you do... your skin is hot enough to burn mine. So soft... so unmarked... you're just dying to have my mark on you for all to see, aren't you?"

It was a statement, not a question. Jim didn't say a word, but instead strove to arch up, begging silently for more.

Another slap, this time on the other side, was hard enough that Jim almost could feel the fingerprints on his ass. He didn't make a sound, not wanting to give in so easily.

"Lie down over the bench. I want you to position your cock just before the edge and let your arms hang down at the front legs of the horse."

Jim obeyed swiftly. It was humiliating lying so openly there, so he clamped down on his control of his senses even harder than before.

Hearing was now limited to only Jim's immediate surroundings, of course including Blair. Sight was... well, it was blocked since he'd closed his eyes as soon as he put down his head. Touch was pretty high, but that was ok. Scent was also below normal to shield him from the odours of the place.

Jim fidgeted. What was Blair doing? He'd heard nothing, felt nothing for too long... Jim wondered if he should risk taking a peek. He fidgeted again.

"Lie still."

He froze.

"Some day, Jim... some day I'm going to teach you the virtue of patience. Not today, but some day. So eager..."

The smile was very much present in Blair's voice. He was amused by Jim's antics. Not exactly discouraged, Jim attempted to raise his ass higher, inviting further action. The minimal movement might not have been visible to his Master, but at least Jim tried.

He didn't get far with it. A length of saran wrap was rolled around each leg in a width of about ten inches, securing it to the horse. Then the procedure was repeated on his arms. Jim was now resting firmly on his torso and unable to move in any direction.

Sharps slaps started raining on Jim's ass. Small pools of fire started from everywhere he'd been touched, slowly engulfing him in flames. Jim still refused to so much as gasp in reaction, keeping it all in. When the slaps started alternating with small tugs on the plug, he had to surrender.

Jim moaned out loud.

It went on and on, fuelling the fire, until Jim was hanging on the edge of sanity. He wanted relief, and he wanted more. The fire was wonderful, his skin was burning, but... he needed more. He could feel his lips moving, but not hear what he was saying. He didn't care.

He just wanted more... of everything.

It stopped. Whining and not caring anymore, Jim futilely tried to arch higher, to get more. Soothing hands kneaded his heated flesh, rubbing his skin and fanning the flames.

"Shhhh... you'll get more... Don't worry, love."

Contradictorily, the plug was being pulled out, leaving his ass empty and alone. Jim whined higher, only to stop seconds later as two fingers slid into his gaping hole.

"Oh yessss..."

This was better than the plug. Not as thick, but rubbing all the right places, especially... Jim gasped. Blair was rubbing his prostate hard, nudging it almost out of shape. Straining backwards, Jim was quickly transformed to quivering flesh. No thoughts in his mind, only pleasure. A tiny bit of his awareness tried to make him get hold of his rapidly fading control, but the roar of his blood drowned out the small voice.

"Come for me, Jim. I know you want to... I want you to... I want to see you fall apart and come from the inside. This is only the first one, not the last... come, Jim."

What could he do? He obeyed, howling out his lust as all muscles tried to contract at the same time. He couldn't breathe, couldn't move, could only feel... feel as his ass fluttered rapidly around Blair's fingers.

Panting hard, he slumped on the bench. He felt like purring. Small movements inside him made him aware that yes, this was only round one. Smiling, he thought of whether he should be afraid or exhilarated over the fact that he didn't know how many rounds there were going to be.

About the same time as Jim was fully aware again, Blair stopped the fingering of him. Though, as he was getting seriously aroused once more, Blair left the fingers inside him for a few more moments, and then pulled out.

His ass spasming at the sudden emptiness, Jim tried to track down what was happening. Sound... something clinking... metal? Smell... nope, the club was too overwhelming to distinguish anything concerning Blair's actions. Shrugging mentally, Jim tried to at least feign some patience.

"Your skin is hot... glowing, even. But it's going to get better. Or... is the word I'm looking for worse? No matter..."

That clinking sound again. Jim frowned, determined to figure out what it was. It couldn't be metal, because they didn't have anything that made that kind of sound.

Jim yelped in surprise as the first drop landed on his butt. Ice. Of course. He should have known. Blair must be keeping a cube in his hand and holding it high over his body, since the drop was cold but not icy. Jim couldn't help but smile at the thought of his cold-hating lover having ice cubes in his bare hand.

More drops, falling faster now. Each impact to his heated skin caused a small tremor to go through his body. The water was colder now. The cube must have been lowered to just above him.

Just before the sensations reached uncomfortable, they stopped. No more impacts. Jim shivered, hoping for its return and hoping to get heated up again. A low chuckle from just beside him told clearly, that his reaction was noted and understood.

Clinking sounds again... Blair getting another cube. Anticipating more drops to his ass, Jim waited happily, only to cry out as the cold fire was placed directly between his shoulder blades. His muscles jumped involuntarily, trying to move it elsewhere, to escape the fiery sensations seeming to aim straight for his heart.

"Lie still, love. Accept it. Give in."

Moaning, Jim tried. It was difficult. Drops trickled down his spine, causing severe shivers all through his torso. His skin felt overheated wherever it was dry, out of the path of the icy water.

Blair moved the cube around, following the curve of his back, ending the slide at his tailbone. There, it rested for several long minutes while run-off ice-water slid down his crack and over his sensitive opening. Jim moaned and tried even harder to escape the treatment. It was driving him insane, relentlessly pounding at his defences in the attempt to strip him emotionally naked.

Still, he resisted.

"Stop it, Jim. Give in. Accept my actions. Accept me."

Jim stilled, hearing what his Master was saying for the first time. Trust. Obedience. Love.

Suddenly the ice wasn't enough to cool him down. Blair wanted to show them all that he owned Jim. Jim would obey. Because he trusted his Master to take care of him, to not take it too far, to protect him.

Jim moaned again, but this time in desire. Through his mind he went over the things he could say to Blair, but wouldn't... 'I'm yours. Do with me as you please. Love you forever and ever.' He didn't utter a word out loud, but it seemed on Blair's actions that the sentiment was picked up.

The ice moved... down. Jim cried out the second it touched his opening. Icy fire licked the rim of him, with drops flowing inside and down over his taut balls. It moved away. More clinking. Third cube. His Master went straight for the gold, sliding the half-melted cube into his ass while icy-cold fingers wrapped around his cock.

Jim howled, arching high. Too much, too much... too good. Melt water flowing inwards and dripping out, his erection kept rock-hard from the small jerks on it, synapses in his brain misfiring, until he felt like it was molten lava inside him instead of ice.

Slowly, Jim became aware that the sensations had ceased again. His cock was feeling a bit lonely, and his ass was cool, but also empty. Still wet, but it didn't feel like the water had flushed away the lube. He still felt slightly greasy.

"Nicely cooled down, I should say."

Cool hands rubbed his ass. Again Jim felt like purring in pure contention.

The sound of a match being lit reached his ears. Frowning, Jim tried to think. Ice. Natural follower, fire. He strained harder in anticipation. It had been a long time since he'd felt the touch of a candle.

He tightened his hearing further, trying to hear the wax as it gathered. Wincing at a loud comment from the crowd at the bar, he dialled down again. He would feel it when it hit him and not before. Contenting himself to that, Jim yet another time tried patience on for size.

It still didn't fit him.

Fire splashed on his skin. First drop. Hissing, he tried to judge how high up the candle was from the temperature. At least a foot. His Master was being careful. His soft smile faded as the next drop fell onto the other side of his ass.

Steadily increasing in speed, the drops rained on his ass, covering both cheeks evenly. The distance diminished at a slower rate stopping its decent about six inches from his skin.

Jim gasped at each impact. Forget everything about cool. He was hot, he was on fire, and he wanted more. Jim moaned as the layers built up, creating a deeper, duller heat. The very relentlessness of the action told him clearly that this was exactly what his Master wanted... to drive him totally out of his mind, burning up with pleasure and pain.

As suddenly as they'd started, the drops stopped falling. Before Jim could protest, another sensation started. Blair had plunged two fingers back into him, again nudging his prostate thoroughly. The sudden shift from the external heat flares to internal ones was almost too much. Jim felt his mind slip, but a sharp jerk on his balls made him snap back to reality.

"Stay with me, Jim. Concentrate on my voice as well as my actions."

Nodding fuzzily, Jim tried to focus. Small circular movements in his ass, teasing him towards the edge... again. Tugs on his sack to prevent him from going too far too fast.

"Ready for round two, my love?"

Jim whimpered and clenched on Blair's fingers.

"Still not over, Jim. I know what you need... and what I need... it doesn't end now."

Sighing, Jim relaxed again, only to jerk his head upwards at a particularly hard tug. The pain wasn't preventing the pleasure anymore, but instead mixing both sensations deliciously, sending him higher with each moment.

Dizzily, he felt his focus slip and slide, tightening in on the actions instead of the small mumbled compliments emanating from Blair. He didn't care. Nothing existed but the pleasure singing in his blood. His ears picked up the sounds of steadily louder cries from somewhere nearby. Dimly, he realized they came from him, and then dismissed it from his mind. He was caught up in the slow explosion blazing through his system, searing his nerves as he contracted around Blair's fingers again.

Long minutes passed before the fog lifted from his mind.

"Follow my voice back, Jim. That's it, you can do it... just come on back to me. Good, you're so good. I'd never dared dream it could be like this before... well, before. Never thought you could be so hot, so eager, and so totally capable of blowing my mind. And blowing your own in the process, apparently. It's time to come back, Jim... yes... welcome back, love."

Jim moaned. He had that peculiar feeling of being sated and yet still hungry that he'd only found one person capable of giving him. Blair. His ass was tender, going on sore. It was still itching to be taken, though.

He was empty now, no fingers or toy in him. Jim idly wondered what would come next. He listened. Blair was still talking softly to him.

"Do you know what you're doing to me, Jim? I just came in my pants, purely from giving you pleasure, hearing you loving it so much and knowing it's only me who's ever made you go that far out before. It's strong enough to bring me to my knees, that knowledge. Did you know that?"

Jim shook his head slowly, wishing for a touch but not knowing if he dared ask.

Slow steps. Blair was walking up to his head. Soft sounds of material sliding and bunching, and a little creak from his Master's knees, and he deducted that Blair was kneeling in front of him.

Jim opened his eyes, looking directly into Blair's.

Both moaning, they kissed deeply. Jim tried to pour out all his emotions in the kiss, and it felt like Blair was trying the same thing. Trust, devotion, passion, hunger, and first of all, love. None of them even tried to break apart until air was a necessity.

All their emotions were so heavily in the air, that Jim could almost sense them on his skin. He shivered.

"Jim, I want to give you something. I think you need it, but I want you to know that you can veto this if it doesn't feel right."

Blair looked at him seriously, concern fairly radiating from every feature of that expressive face. Jim nodded his consent.

A short, rustling sound was all the preparation he had before an item was placed across his ass. Surprised, he noticed that he was no longer caked with wax. Blair must have peeled it off while he was out for the count.

Shaking his head to clear it, he focused. Round. Long. Slim. Oh shit. It was his anniversary present. Jim jerked sharply in his bonds, noticing faintly that the wrap was looser now after all his movements and sweating.

Thinking furiously and seriously trying to keep his dick from voicing its opinion, Jim questioned whether he wanted that or not. Only a moment later, he questioned his sanity as he nodded and lowered his head down onto the horse again.

His dick didn't care. It wanted the pleasure of good pain. So did the rest of his body. His mind wasn't quite so sure, whimpering about the throng of people still standing up at the bar. Watching.

Firmly telling his mind to shut up, that he'd already made his decision, Jim tried to relax as much as possible. He was pleasantly buzzed from the pain and fear, causing endorphins and adrenaline to zip around in his bloodstream. Blair was shifting his weight slightly.

The crop was picked up.

All control gone in a flash, Jim tensed his buttocks. Air whooshed gently by him as the crop was hitting air just inches behind him.

"Oh, I like this one, Jim. Perfect balance, fits really nicely in my hand, and I even like the color."

Impact.

Heat blossomed wilder than before. Had he thought he was on fire before? He was wrong. This was fire. In his mind, Jim envisioned the red welt he just knew was on his ass.

He moaned.

Another hit, this time an inch below the other mark. And another. And another. Six times he was swatted with the unforgiving crop, an entire row of double lines down his butt.

Cool hands caressed along the lines, rubbing in the pain and spreading it around. Blair moaned in unison with Jim.

"Six strikes, Jim. One for each month we've been together."

Blair paused in his movements.

"Can you handle it?"

Jim nodded minutely. He was on fire, but he was more than ok. Hunger burned in his body, hunger for more.

He was Blair's to play with. Now and forever.

Again he was given six hits, this time on his left cheek. After a brief pause to let him breathe, Blair continued with six on the right.

With the last hits, Jim was whimpering. Everything was fire now. Nothing else existed in his world except for his Master. Fire and Blair. One and the same.

"Can you still handle it?"

Jim whimpered and nodded.

"Last six, my love, but they'll be harder."

Jim nodded again.

"Please," he whispered brokenly.

Double-lined fire burst forth already with the first strike. Blair was going across his ass again and hitting in almost the exact same spots as the very first strokes. By the sixth, he was crying. The pain was severe enough to break through his very last line of defence.

He was now totally naked before his Master.

A clattering sound told him that Blair had dropped the crop to the floor, and suddenly strong hands held his head and shoulders while he sobbed.

Shaking his head, he tried to impart his feelings to Blair. It didn't seem to work, he was just held tighter.

"Please, Ma-Master. Fuck me. K-keep me n-naked."

He felt Blair let go reluctantly. Then a firm stride moving alongside his body followed by the sound of jeans being forcefully opened told him that his Master was heeding his wish.

"Like this, Jim? Take you like this, now, where you're burning and completely defenceless before me? Where you're broken before my will?"

Blair thrust into him, filling him completely in one stroke. There was no pain, Blair had somehow managed to lube up in the tiny space between being dressed and being inside Jim.

"Yes!"

It was a triumphant cry, torn from Jim's soul and ringing through the room.

Blair pulled out and slammed back in. This was one time where neither of them would last long. Their emotions were running too high, and their bodies too strung out to be slow or gentle.

Jim was crying out with each thrust into his depth. No one had ever filled him up like Blair did. Not just his body, but his heart and mind as well. Jim was teetering on the edge of coming yet again, but he knew he needed a bit more this time.

He was given more.

One of Blair's hands snaked down to jerk his cock roughly, the other hand holding his shoulder as Blair pounded him even harder.

With simultaneous howls they came, locked together in pleasure as they were in bodies.

The next thing Jim knew was when a small kiss was pressed to his shoulder, and Blair shakily started to pull away and out of him. A small whimper of pain escaped him.

"Shhhh... I'll just get some kind of cloth, love. God, that was the best ever."

Jim heard a groan and turned to see what was wrong.

"God, I think I shot out my brain. Totally empty-headed, man."

He felt a hand rest on his back as he out of the corner of his eye could see Blair reach down with a pair of scissors. Shortly, he was free of his bonds on all four limbs.

That didn't mean he wanted to move. He didn't even think he could move.

A cloth wiped his ass, including the overflow from within, and then Blair reached out his hand to him.

"Come on. Get up, and I'll get you a drink. We both need the fluid."

Feeling as mobile as a rock, Jim staggered to his feet. He had the sudden urge to giggle as he watched his lover bend down to help him into his jeans. Struggling together, they managed to get them on Jim and close them. After shoving his feet into his shoes, they stumbled up to the bar.

Most of the people at their end of the bar moved aside before them. All but one, actually. Jim heard some muttered phrases complimenting Blair on the scene and felt proud. He saw more than one person nod his or her head in acknowledgement of the scene and in respect. They didn't get his class in a place like this often.

Wearily he looked up to see the one person still standing in front of them, not budging an inch.

Rose.

Blair tried to move past her, but she moved simultaneously, still blocking their path.

"Yes? Is there something you'd like?"

Soft voice, nothing threatening, all smooth 'let's just all be friends', that was his Blair.

"You think you're pretty hot, don't you?"

The words were practically sneered at them. Blair looked a bit taken aback, but he recovered fast.

"Actually, I'm feeling quite hot, yes. I'd really like to get something to drink, so if you could please let me get past...?"

Blair made yet another attempt at getting past her, but found her hand gripping his arm.

"Let go of me."

She tightened her grip. Jim could see Blair's flesh whiten under her fingers where she held him. He took a half step forward, intent on running interference.

Blair looked once at him, the look enough. Back off.

Jim kept his mouth shut, but stayed where he was. He was not going to miss this for the world.

"Do you really think that the way you handled the slut is the way he deserves to be handled?"

Blair quirked an eyebrow. Jim could hear the heartbeat speed up, but outwards there was no reaction other than that.

"I don't know who you are, other than the guy who brought the slut back to us, but let me tell you this. He exists for your leisure, so why don't you treat him right? Not all that hard work kinda shit, but make him do what you want."

She sniffed haughtily and loosened her grip.

"He's done better before. There he was actually of some kind of use!"

She turned as if to walk away, but this time Blair was the one reaching out to grab hold. Whirling around with flashing eyes, Rose towered over his Master. Jim silently cheered, as he perceived that Blair had reached true anger now.

"Listen, bitch. I know who you are, and you're so wrong on how to treat anyone. Haven't you ever heard of the words Safe, Sane and Consensual? What you do to a person doesn't fall under either of those categories."

She looked stunned, and then narrowed her eyes. Before she could open her mouth to speak, Blair was on her again.

"Where does it fall to almost kill a person? Huh? Definitely not under safe. Not under sane, either! And no one, no one ever really consents to their own death unless they're even more insane than you!"

Blair released her arm and gave her a look that told everyone that he considered her sewer slime.

"Would anyone care if you disappeared, Rose? Would anyone miss you? Or would they just breathe in relief that another of those thankfully few persons giving kink a bad name was out of their way?"

Blair turned to look at some of the others nearby. They shrank away, listening, but pretending not to be there.

His Master turned back to face her. She didn't look quite so confident anymore, somehow.

"As for how this particular sub deserves to be treated... No, he doesn't deserve what I gave him. He deserves better. But I can only do my best and hope it's enough. What he went through with you makes me sick. It makes me furious that someone could want to destroy this man. Someone like you."

Jim watched in amazement as Blair reached back without looking and unerringly caught hold of Jim's leash.

"You had your chance with him and blew it big time. Eat your heart out. You're never going to get him again. He's mine, and I don't share. You'll never find out how truly good he is."

Blair smirked at her.

"You saw a bit of it tonight, but you haven't seen him at his best. And you never will."

This time she actually got all the way to open her mouth before again being interrupted.

"Now get out of my way. I need a drink."

Blair moved forward, Jim following with a big smile. He couldn't resist... he smirked at her. She didn't seem frightening at all anymore.

He knew whom to thank for that.

Up at the bar, Blair ordered more bottles of soda while Jim tried to get back under control. He was so proud of his Master for standing up like that and taking on what was essentially a very sick woman. The gratitude for taking care of him in this way gave him the peculiar urge to throw himself at the floor on his back. Total animalistic submission to the stronger male. Jim shook his head to clear it of those thoughts.

Blair caught his eyes on their way to sit down and smiled softly at him.

"Feeling better now?"

It was a low mumble. Jim was sure he was the only one having heard it. He nodded briefly.

Blair pulled out a chair and sat. He looked a bit worn around the edges, but smiled readily when he looked up to meet Jim's eyes again.

Jim took one look at the other chair and stepped over to kneel on the floor next to Blair.

"Thank you, Master."

Blair reached over to tussle his hair.

"You're welcome. Anytime, love."

Jim accepted the bottled water gratefully and gulped half of it in an attempt to soothe his parched throat. He felt like he'd been screaming for hours, but then again, he didn't even know what time it was. For all he knew, it could have been hours.

He kept in the position, loving the feeling of Blair petting him this way. He almost didn't want to move, but he also felt the proximity of the other people here start to infringe on his mind. The sounds of them bothered him.

Blair finished up and started to rise.

"Let's go home."

Jim followed readily, and they packed up their stuff in record time. Jim even took the time to wipe off the horse one last time before grabbing their bag and heading towards the entrance.

He noticed Rose standing off to the side, glowering. He didn't look at her. He kept his focus on his Master. The darkness was a thing of the past... now.

Back home, Blair literally pushed Jim into the bathroom to have a shower. The water felt heavenly on his weary body. The only bad thing was that it also removed the smell of Blair on him.

Back out in the living room, Jim sat down on the couch next to Blair. He hadn't bothered to dress afterwards, and he was pleased at the increased respiration and heartbeat coming from his lover.

"How are you feeling now, Jim?"

Jim heard a distinct gulp followed by some controlled breathing. Reaching over, he placed his hand high up on Blair's thigh.

Blair jumped.

"Don't do that, man. This is important. Tell me. The other things can wait a bit longer."

Sighing, Jim figured he might as well give up. He wouldn't get a proper cuddle until he'd spilled his guts anyway. Maybe only part of it would suffice.

"I'm fine, Chief. It was a good night. There, now can we...?"

Jim slid his hand a bit further up Blair's thigh.

"That's it? That's all you have to say about it? I don't believe you. If it was this easy, why were you so apprehensive about going there tonight?"

Jim smacked his forehead mentally. 'Stupid. Very stupid.'

"Sorry. I'll try again."

He thought for a moment. Blair started to fidget a bit in his seat, so Jim took a deep breath.

"It's not easy for me, you know that. I'd kinda hoped you'd get what I meant back there. You know, when I said thanks."

Blair looked up at him, love and a hint of hurt shining from his face.

"I thought it was sort of a general expression of gratitude for tonight. I didn't really have anything to base it on."

Jim exploded.

"Nothing to base it on? You'd just blown my mind out not just once, but three fucking times, then you immediately proceed to take down one of the scariest persons I've ever met, and you can not tell me that you were feeling completely ready and able to do that. For God's sake, it wasn't like you didn't come either!"

Jim pried his hand away from Blair's thigh before his anger would make it curl into a fist around the firm flesh. Muttering, he folded both hands behind his neck and bent forwards to rest his elbows on his knees.

"I heard your voice, you know. You were hoarse from talking and from breathing so hard. You were still shaking slightly in reaction. And still you proceed to tear her entire attitude down like so much wet wallpaper. Felt so grateful. Felt so proud. Still do."

Jim looked over to see an absolutely stunned Blair.

"Love you. My light."

Before he knew it, he had Blair sitting on his lap, prying his arms down to wrap them around his own back.

"Love you too. So much."

Lips met in a warm kiss for long minutes. Jim spared a brief thought on how far he'd come since he first went to the club. The old saying truly said it all. 'What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.' Put in the addition of the other half of his soul, and he felt pretty much invincible.

He held on to his one true love as he watched the last of the sun's rays disappear over the bay. His guiding light in life.

The End.

For those of you who are interested in things like that, here are the lyrics for the song that inspired me to this story.

Rose

Rose, don't pull your needles out of me.
Close your yellow leaves around me.
Don't drink all of the water from the ground, I've got inside my wicked
soul. Don't push the time shorter, let us grow old.

Rose, stay in my garden, just for a while.
Rose, don't you drop all of your leaves.
Doze and feel the raindrops you receive.
Just drink all of the water from the sky see above your crown of gold.
Don't you be a demon's daughter, let us grow old.

Rose, stay in my garden, just for a while.
Rose, stay in my garden, just for a while.
Rose, stay in my garden, just for a while.
Rose, stay in my garden, just for a while.

Kashmir, from the album Travelogue, 1994.
(it's a Danish group, so probably no one's heard of them <g>)