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Lover's Instinct

Summary:

How will the Sentinel react when he smells another male on his Guide?

Work Text:

Lover's Instinct

by Monica


Rating: R
Paring: J/B
Categories: First Times

Disclaimer: All things related to The Sentinel belong to PetFly and Paramount. This story is strictly for fun and not profit.

Warnings: Some violence. There is brief depiction of attempted assault at the beginning of the story. Please be assured that it is not graphic, and no one is badly hurt. Also, there is a section following that in which Jim is somewhat violent toward Blair, but it is not partner rape or anything close to it, and again, no one is hurt. But still please use your own judgement if that may bother you. I do promise a happy ending!

This is for Christina, who kindly requested a Primal Jim story. Also, thanks also to Svenja for her support and kind words.

As always, thanks to Elaine for her perfect Beta reading!!

Summary: How will the Sentinel react when he smells another male on his Guide?


LOVERS INSTINCT

by Monica
[email protected]
website: http://home.earthlink.net/~pnthrdor/MonicasLibrary.htm

Blair wearily made his way into the elevator. One step at a time, he told himself for about the 20th time that evening. Just keep going. You can collapse once you get home.

'Stupid, stupid, stupid,' he berated himself 'How could you be so dumb? Jim was right. He's always right.'

Jim had been right about Reitzel.

Phil Reitzel was a doctor, visiting the Cascade P.D. as part of a study on psychological stress. Blair had been appointed to meet with him, and be his tour guide around the station. The two of them 'spoke the same language', as Simon had put it when he assigned Blair to the babysitting duty. It did make sense, and the two men had quickly hit it off.

Jim hadn't liked it one bit.

By the third and last day of Reitzel's visit, Jim all but snarled when Reitzel approached his partner. Blair had been giving Jim nudges and frowns, trying to get him to behave, but nothing had worked.

"I don't like him, Chief," Jim snapped when Blair dragged him along to the break room.

"Well, you don't have to like him. Just be civil to him. He's a great guy and *I'm* having an interesting time." He pushed Jim a little to get to the coffeepot. "I think you're scaring him. Just back off for one more day, okay?"

"He's leaving tomorrow morning, right?" Jim smiled at Blair's nod of agreement. "Good. We only have to put up with him for the afternoon. Then he's gone." The older man looked and sounded very satisfied.

Blair looked at him out of the side of his eye. "Well, yeah. Sorta."

"What?" Jim was on alert.

The younger man turned to face him. "I'm having dinner with him tonight."

"What?!" Jim practically yelled. "I am not having dinner with him tonight."

"Jeez, calm down," Blair hissed. He looked around to make sure they were alone. "You are not having dinner with him. I am. He asked me out to dinner for his last night here. We're going to discuss his studies at other cities."

Jim was snarling again. "No."

Now it was Blair's turn. "What?" His eyes narrowed a little.

"You are not-"

Blair slammed the coffeepot down. "Right, now listen here. I don't know what your problem with him is, and you're entitled to your opinion, or gut instinct, or whatever. But I think he's just fine. All we're going to do is have dinner and talk shop. Stop acting like an idiot."

"You are not going anywhere with him." Jim was seething.

"Excuse me?" Blair's voice had gotten very calm. It was a danger sign that Jim ignored. "You are not my mother."

"But I am you're Sentinel," Jim countered. "And I don't like him, or like the idea of you being with him."

"Forget it, buddy. I'm an adult." Blair shoved him aside. Jim would have grabbed him except that just then Joel entered. "See you," Blair snapped to Jim, and tore out of the room.

Jim was being a huge idiot, Blair muttered as he returned to Reitzel and they continued the tour. He took a dislike to someone, for no reason what so ever, and he turned into a knuckle-walking moron. What a jerk. What a possessive moron.

What an insightful person.

Dinner had been great. Good food, good conversation. Then Reitzel had made his move when Blair had dropped him off at his hotel room, inviting him in for a few minutes. He apparently wanted more than a friendly handshake and an exchange of emails to keep in touch on the professional basis. He wanted to get up close and personal.

Reitzel had immediately started kissing Blair as soon as the door was shut. "Stay with me," Reitzel demanded.

"No! Um, look Phil, I don't-" Blair's words were cut off by a forceful kiss.

"You won't regret it, Blair."

"You are going to regret it if you don't let me go this instant!" Blair was trying to stay calm. He had been hit on before, but never this forcefully. Reitzel was bigger than him; almost as big as Jim, and he was struggling to escape those long arms.

When it became clear that words would not stop Reitzel, every fighting technique that Jim had instilled in Blair came to force. He did what came instinctively to most everyone -male or female- when facing a male foe; he kicked Reitzel between the legs.

Reitzle dropped as if he had been clubbed; which in a way, he had been. Blair fled without another glance.

All the way back to the loft, Blair cursed himself. Jim had been right; he admitted. Reitzel was a creep, and Blair had missed every single signal. Some observer he was. As he got out of his car, and entered the building, all he could think about was getting safely home. Hopefully, Jim would either be gone, or be in bed, and he could sneak in. All he wanted was a shower, and to climb into bed and try to forget the entire evening.

He opened the door to the loft, and froze at the sight before him.

Jim stood in the darkened living room, only a light from the kitchen allowing Blair to see him. He didn't move, didn't say anything. Just looked at him. Blair closed the door, hoping wearily to get through this, whatever this was.

"Jim?" He tried to sound normal. "What are you doing still up--" The words died in his throat as Jim moved closer to him, and he could see the other man's face.

Feral. It was the only word that came to mind. Jim's eyes, normally cool and collected, were blazing with fury. Blair could see the fire in them as he halted only a few steps from the younger man. It made Blair freeze, unable to move. Jim looked like he was cut from ice; the only movement now was his chest heaving with his breaths.

Jim titled his head a bit, concentrating. His nostrils flared slightly, scenting. And the scents he caught confirmed his suspicions.

"NO!"

Blair's hands flew up automatically to cover his ears at the sudden bellow. He had never heard Jim utter any noise so loud before. Then Jim was on him; Blair was pushed back against the wall, pinned by Jim's body, and hands were on him.

"Mine!" Jim roared.

Sounds of tearing clothing cut through the air, and Blair realized that Jim was ripping his shirt off. Once the garment was removed, Jim sniffed the shirt, growling as it only seemed to make him more angry.

'Reitzel,' Blair realized dimly. 'He's smelling Reitzel on me.' He managed to find his breath. "Jim...look, I didn't--"

His attempt to explain was cut off before it could get anywhere. Blair was thrown over Jim's shoulder without any warning, the sudden move making him off balance, and in no position to fight. And fighting would be useless; he was no match for Jim under the best of circumstances, let alone a Jim in full primal mode. His only chance was to get through to the Sentinel with reasoning.

Jim, though, did not seem to be willing to listen to any reason.

Stomping across the living room, the Sentinel tossed his Guide on the couch. Powerful legs straddled the younger man as Jim held him down with his weight, then lowered his head, sniffing to detect where his Guide had been touched by the other male.

"Jim, please!" Blair managed to keep his voice steady and in control, trying to bring Jim out of this bizarre zone. "Nothing happened! Listen to me; he tried to do something, but I stopped him." He heard Jim's harsh breathing, and guessed that he was still smelling intently, trying to target where Reitzel had touched him. "I would never do that with him! I've never done that!" Blair said urgently, hoping to get through to Jim's thoughts.

Jim paused as he reached Blair's waist. The foreign male's scent had been driving him on, as it had been permeating from his Guide's hair and upper body. But here, on the lower body... it was not present. Not at all.

The Sentinel frowned, considering. Jim tilted his head again, focusing on the small body under him. He filtered out the scent from the strange man, and concentrated on Blair. No excitement, no smell of his sex. He hesitated, confused.

"Nothing happened, Jim! He tried, but I didn't let him." Blair was repeating, trying to get his friend out of the zone.

"Chief?"

Blair looked up at him; hope leaping inside him for the first time since he had stepped through the door. "Jim?" His friend was hovering over him, looking very confused...and very scared. Blair looked him in the eye, knowing he was being monitored for any sign of evasion. "He wanted to do something, Jim. But I didn't do anything with him."

The older man raised one eyebrow, and reached out to touch Blair's hair before resting his hand over his partner's heart. "He tried?" Blair nodded. "His scent is on you."

Blair nodded again. "He kissed me, and stuff, and touched me, but I got away before...you know."

Jim's heart twisted as he realized what Blair was saying. God! What had he done? Blair had been attacked, then he came home and was virtually attacked again.

He was suddenly very aware of his partner's state of partial undress. Jim hastily climbed off the couch, then grabbed a blanket and placed it over Blair's chest. "Are...are you okay? I mean did he...,uh-"

"I'm fine, Jim. Really." Blair sat up on the couch, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders, watching him. Jim wanted nothing more than to take off running, but he would not abandon his Guide.

"Chief, I...I-"

Blair's eyes softened a bit in understanding. "Jim. Sit back down."

"You don't want me near you," Jim told him. "I don't want to be by me either."

The bright blue eyes noted everything. "We need to talk," he said.

"I don't know what there is to talk about," Jim replied furiously. "Blair, I am so God-awful sorry. I don't know what happened! When you came home, and I smelled him on you, I just...lost it-"

"Yeah, and that's why we have to talk." Jim thought about refusing, but he owed it to Blair to do what he wanted. He sat on the recliner as far away from Blair as he could, and pressed his forehead into his hands, unable to look at his friend out of shame.

"Okay, we'll both start at the beginning," Blair said. His voice was really quite calm. Jim nodded. "I'll go first," Blair continued. "You were right about Reitzel wanting something. He wanted...me, I guess. When we got to his hotel, he jumped me, basically. He kissed me, and groped me. Then I decked him and got away. I raced home."

"Where I jumped you," Jim said fiercely. Blair hesitated, but nodded.

"Yeah," he said in agreement. "What happened?"

"I could smell him on you. His...pheromones, or whatever. I smelled them earlier, too, when he was around you."

"Is that why you were so hostile to him?"

Jim sighed. "I knew he was...interested. His heartbeat spiked, his pupils dilated; he just screamed arousal for you. But I didn't know what to do."

"Well, you tried to warn me," Blair pointed out. "You didn't like him for some reason."

Jim snorted. "But there's been plenty of times I've sensed someone wanting you, Chief." He paused, trying to decide if he should tell him that it wasn't just women who clearly lusted after his Guide. Then he decided against it. "I've sensed it before," Jim repeated. "And I've never reacted like this."

Blair considered. "Maybe you could sense his...aggression, or something. I've been hit on, yeah, but no one has ever tried to...to-" he broke off, unable to finish.

"Gotten violent?" Jim suggested dryly.

"Yeah." Blair shook his head at that memory.

The sight of his Guide upset tore at Jim's heart. "Even if I did sense...something, from him, it doesn't explain or excuse what I did."

"No, not by itself. But maybe there's something else. You were pissed before I was even home, like you had worked up to something."

"I did, I think," Jim answered truthfully.

Blair nodded. "What happened while I was gone?"

Jim got up and began to pace. "Images, sounds. You, with others; the panther growling. I felt like you were in danger, because you were with someone else. And when you came in, and I smelled his, uh, arousal, it seemed to confirm my worst thoughts." Jim stopped to look at his friend.

"Blair, you have no reason to believe me, but I don't think I was really mad at you. I was furious that someone else had dared to touch you. I was mad at Reitzel. And I was mad that...that I-" Jim mumbled something.

"What was that?"

The older man took a deep breath. "I was furious that I hadn't touched you first." There, his cards were on the table.

Blair looked at him, an unreadable expression on his face. "You want that?" he finally asked.

Jim sensed the increase in Blair's heartbeat, and moved a little further away. Blair was looking at him, waiting for an answer. "Yeah, I do Chief." He had thought that he'd never be able to say those words to Blair, but once he did, the words just kept coming out.

"I've wanted you practically since we met, Chief. It wasn't really sexual at first, just a strong need to be around you. That felt...right. But since the fountain, when I nearly lost you, it's changed. Stronger, definitely sexual. All I can remember thinking tonight was that maybe someone else was going to touch you. And that made me so damn crazy, I-" he broke off as Blair closed his eyes and lowered his head.

Shit. He had scared Blair yet again.

"Chief, I swear I'm not going to touch you-"

"Jim, it's okay." The older man shut up at that. Blair was looking at him again, and there was even a faint smile on his face.

Jim gawked at him. "How is it okay?"

His partner sighed. "Look, we'll talk, but first I want to take a shower, okay? I think we'll both feel better then."

Jim nodded in agreement. As much as he hated to admit it, he could still smell Reitzel, and it was continuing to make him unsettled. Blair gave him a reassuring look as he went to the bathroom.

The older man began pacing again, still listening as his friend went into the bathroom. A mumbled 'ow' made Jim frown. He thought about racing into the room and taking his Guide in his arms and beg forgiveness, but he shot that down.

'Like he would want you to touch him, Ellison', he thought. "You've fucked up royally here.' It only made it worse as he remembered Blair's attempts at reasoning. That nothing had happened. That he had never-

'I've never done that with anyone,' Blair had protested.

The whole situation, which Jim would rate as God-awful, just got worse. Blair had never had sex with a man before. And in the same night, he had been violently hit upon by a stranger, practically attacked by his friend, and then had same friend admit that he wanted him sexually.

It took all his willpower not to run to the kitchen and puke his guts out. Desperately, he looked around the room, trying to find something to take out his anger on, but only he was to blame for this. Physical aggression was the last option he could exercise. After his reaction earlier, Blair deserved him in control and calm.

His ears picked up the sound of Blair sighing a little in the shower, but it sounded more like he was trying to relax, and not in pain. It galvanized Jim into moving again. Blair had faced him. Now he had to face himself.

Blair emerged from the bathroom, wrapped securely in his bathrobe, to find a fire going in the hearth and Jim in the kitchen. The older man looked up nervously as Blair entered the room.

"Um, tea, Chief?"

"Yeah, thanks. I'm just going to get dressed."

"Sure, yeah, anything you want, Chief." Jim was careful to not make any moves what so ever toward his friend. He was in fact doing his best to become one with the walls.

Blair noticed, and managed a smile. He wasn't the Sentinel of the pair, but he could tell how awful Jim felt. They needed to get through this before one or the other of them had a heart attack from nerves. "I'll be right back, and we'll talk, okay?"

Jim nodded hastily, but still didn't move an inch. "You got it. Anything. Take all the time you want. I'm just gonna stay here and, uh, make tea, and you do whatever you want. I'll-"

"Jim," Blair's quiet voice halted the ramblings. "It's okay. *I'm* okay." Another reassuring look at Jim, and he retreated into his bedroom.

When he returned, Jim had placed a cup of tea on the end table by the couch, and was back in the kitchen, watching nervously. "Hey, thanks for the tea. Come over here and we can talk." Blair was determined to keep this calm and easy

Jim edged toward him, careful to move slowly so as not to scare him. He nudged the cup of tea toward Blair as the younger man settled on the couch, then retreated to the recliner. He remained standing, then seemed to realize that he was towering over Blair in what could be seen as an unsettling manner, and he quickly sat down. Blair sipped the tea as he organized his thoughts.

"All right,' he said finally. Steadily, he told Jim exactly what had occurred with Reitzel. Jim clicked into detective mode long enough to ask if he waned to file charges, and Blair shook his head. "Not worth it," he muttered. "He's scum, just like you said." A satisfied smile crossed his face. "Trust me; he's paying for it in having to walk lopsided for the next few days."

"You should file charges against me," Jim muttered. Blair glared at him.

"You didn't hurt me, and your anger wasn't directed at me. And if you want to go back far enough, you slammed me against a wall the day we first met in my office. I didn't hold it against you then, and I'm not going to now." He straightened his shoulders. "So, now we are going to drop that subject, and move on."

Despite the situation, Jim had to smile a little at the tone of Blair's voice. It was 'Blair the Professor', directing the discussion as always. Then Jim winced as he realized what the next subject was likely to be.

Blair was trying to figure out the best way to phrase his thoughts delicately, but all that came out was, "So, you want me?"

Jim blinked at the abrupt phrase, noting Blair's blush, but he nodded. "Yeah, I meant everything I said, Chief. I love you. And I do mean that; I don't just 'want' you, I love you."

The older man stood and began to pace again. "Every time Reitzel touched you, or talked to you, or Hell, even looked at you, I got jealous. And while you were gone tonight...it was like I said earlier. I could hear the panther growling, and was furious that maybe someone else was going to touch you."

The younger man was studying his teacup again. "And, you said you've felt this way...for a while?"

"Yeah." Jim was telling nothing but the complete unvarnished truth; it was the least Blair deserved. "It's grown stronger, but it's been that way for quite a while. I've loved you forever, it seems like. I can't remember not loving you."

Blair looked up. "Jim-"

"Chief, I promise, I'm not going to do anything," Jim said desperately, terrified that his Guide would flee. "Now or ever. Just God, please don't leave me. Stay here; it's your home. I swear I'll do whatever-"

"Jim," Blair stopped him. "It's alright," he said softly. He looked up, and Jim was nearly lost at the look in those deep blue eyes. "I love you, too," he said, so quietly that only the Sentinel could hear.

Jim sat back down, all the breath suddenly leaving him for a moment. "You...do?" he said, hardly daring to believe it.

"Yes." Blair was smiling now, a bit shyly, but still smiling. "Like you said, it's grown stronger, but I've never really put the feelings into words before. It's kinda scary."

"What's scary?" Jim asked. "Loving me, or knowing that I love you?"

"Little bit of both, I think." Blair steadily returned his gaze. "But I'm not afraid of you, Jim. This is new for me, but I know what I feel."

"Chief, I, uh, remember what you said; that you've never...uh-"

"No, I've never had sex with a man," Blair said. He looked a bit embarrassed, but was honest. He curled up his legs as he settled back on the couch. "I've had offers, yeah, but I was never attracted enough to a man before to consider that."

"But now?" Jim knew maybe he was pushing, but he had to know.

"Now, I'm more than attracted enough," Blair answered, looking directly at Jim. "I love you. I said that already, remember?" A smile played on his lips, trying to lighten the moment.

Jim managed a little smile, and for the first time all evening, some of the tension eased. For a few minutes both men just reflected silently on their own thoughts, feeling more at ease with each other. Jim even relaxed enough to sit back; finally letting some of the ramrod tightness go.

The younger man finally broke the silence. "Well then," he said. "I guess next subject is...us." He glanced over at Jim, and Jim thought that Blair was the most gorgeous thing he had ever seen before. "We've said we love each other, we agree it's mutual. What now?"

The Sentinel thought for a moment. "I want us to be together forever," he said.

"So do I." Blair smiled again. "That sounds right. Maybe that's why you were so hostile to Reitzel; you were right that he had, uh, hostile thoughts, toward me. You said that you could smell his pheromones. I bet on an instinctive level you sensed a threat. And since you loved me, it made your instinct to protect even stronger...a lover's instinct."

"That would explain why I was so intent on checking where he had touched you," Jim mused aloud. "Okay, I'm territorial, possessive...and deeply in love with you." The last was said softly.

For long moments they stared at each other, each uncertain what to do. Then Blair yawned, and it snapped Jim out of his idle musings. Taking care of his Guide came to the forefront.

"Look, Chief. Obviously, a Hell of a lot has happened tonight. How about we go to bed - separately," he added hastily. "Too much has happened tonight, and we're both exhausted. Let's get some rest, and we can talk more tomorrow."

"Okay," Blair agreed. He stood just as Jim stood up and they faced each other, only a few feet apart. It could have been an awkward moment, but Blair smiled easily as he took his teacup back to the kitchen. Jim made a quick trip to the bathroom, and met Blair in the hallway. Again, they paused, looking at each other. Jim was trying to back up against the wall to give his friend more space, still uncertain as to how comfortable Blair was in his presence.

Then Blair took a step toward him and it was now Jim pressed against the wall. Blair looked a bit uncertain, but also incredibly beautiful. "Jim....um, I agree that we need to sleep separately and think things over. But can I...kiss you?"

"God, yes," Jim breathed.

Blair stood up on his toes a bit, laying his hands on Jim's shoulders for balance. Tentatively, he kissed the older man, rather quickly at first; then his lips returned, this time lingering longer. The entire time, Jim remained still, only faintly returning the kiss, and his arms remained at his side. Blair pulled back, confused.

"Jim?" he asked, wondering if he had done something wrong. God, was Jim repulsed by his kissing? Was he that bad?

"Chief, its not what you think," Jim answered as if reading his thoughts. "There's nothing I'd like better than to stand here and kiss you all night long." He paused, and raised a hand to lightly stroke one of Blair's arms. "But I don't want to make you feel pressured. That's why I'm not, um, real responsive here."

A grin crossed the small face. "I thought maybe...you know, didn't like it," Blair admitted.

The detective shook his head. "No way in Hell, Chief," he said. "Fireworks inside, trust me."

"Well, I agree that I'm not ready for much else tonight 'cause it's too soon, but I really would like a good night kiss." As Blair said the last, he reached up again, tilting his face upward in invitation.

This time, Jim allowed himself to return the gesture. His arms rose and large hands threaded carefully through the long glorious hair as his lips covered Blair's. Passionately, he threw all he had into the kiss, feeling Blair return the gesture enthusiastically. Blair leaned more against Jim, trusting the Sentinel to hold him. Tongues met; tentatively at first, then dueling as each man tried to taste more of the other.

Jim made himself break the kiss, but not the embrace, drawing Blair against him. Blair leaned his head against Jim's chest as both men regained their breath. For long moments there was just silence, broken only by panted breaths, and for Jim, the steady thumping of his Guides heart. As calming as ever, a sound he would happily zone on easily. Finally, Blair pulled away, knowing that one of them had to move first and break the spell.

"Good night, Jim," he said quietly, stepping toward the bathroom. Jim nodded.

"Good night, Chief."

The End
March 2001

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