Archive of Our Own ^beta

Author's webpage: http://grey.ravenshadow.net/

Title: Good Look
Author: Grey
Fandom: The Sentinel
Pairing: J/B/S
Rating: NC-17
Status: New/Complete
Archive: Yes
Email: [email protected]
Series/Sequel: No
Date: April 2001
Website: http://grey.ravenshadow.net/ Disclaimer: Not mine.

Summary: After Blair finds out a secret, he proposes a change in his life with Jim.

Notes: Thanks to Jenn aka XFreak for her constant support. This story first appeared in SINFUL SIMON published by Mysti Frank.

Warnings: If threesomes don't work for you, skip this story.

Good Look
by Grey

A slow cramp in his leg brought him up to the light as Jim Ellison stretched out and took a deep breath. The body pressed against him, belly to belly, shifted with his movements, the naked flesh keeping contact. The small grunt given in protest made him smile, his lips touching the springy curls. Morning scents assailed him, a strong mix of love and musk from the previous night, salty sweat, a masculine oiliness of the air that coated his lungs. His cock twitched in both memory and anticipation, his arms gripping his lover even more tightly.

Rolling the still sleeping Blair away and onto his back, he ran his hand down the furry stomach, the hair against his fingers a combination of soft and wiry. Gently he captured the flaccid cock, the flesh warm, but suddenly hotter, the gentle rub of pubic hair tickling his greedy palm. As if by magic, it grew within the wrap of his fingers, his gentle stroking bringing it to life. Steady breathing grew less steady, deeper and more uneven as Blair moaned and spread his legs, arching his hips higher.

Laughing, Jim leaned forward and kissed the lips, probing in with his tongue and catching the deep growl of protest. Pulling back, he lay on his side, his head up as he smiled while watching his friend's struggle to awake completely. In his hand, Blair's cock grew even thicker, veins pulsing, its full length impressive, the head leaking and ready. He casually fondled the balls to add more stimulation, rolling them gently several times before returning to slow pumping.

"God, Jim." Hands reached down to surround his, riding along with the steady action.

"Morning, Chief."

"Oh, Jesus." Words breathy and barely formed, he closed his eyes again, but this time in concentration instead of slumber. "Jim. Please."

"Yeah? Please what?"

"You're such a tease, man. Let me turn over."

"Not yet, babe." Changing positions, Jim rolled forward and licked the nub of Blair's left nipple, the flesh drawn up between his teeth, gently sucking before doing the same to the right. He moved his mouth back and forth, wetting down the hair between them, his fist still busy and relentless between his partner's legs.

Hands grabbed the sides of his face, stroking his whiskers with needy touches and cupping caresses. The whimpers vibrating up through the chest matched with the shudders, Blair's body at his mercy. Glancing up, Jim took in the sweaty sheen and tremors, recognizing his lover's quick move to closeness. The long teasing session he wanted would have to wait until later.

He leaned back to grab a condom and the lube before kneeling between Blair's spread thighs. As his partner watched silently, his eyes still dark and dreamy, he lifted Blair's legs over his shoulders.

The younger man arched upward as a slick finger entered him, his voice shaking as he pleaded. "Jim, please, let me turn over."

"No."

"Please, man."

"No. I want to see you."

Before he could protest anymore, Jim used one hand to pump his lover's cock, the rhythm matching the other hand's motion. He added another slippery finger, fighting once again the resistant ring to ease it. Blue eyes closed and breathing surrendered to quick pants. Smiling in smug satisfaction, his own cock hungry, Jim rolled on his condom and lifted Blair's ass into position. The stubborn pucker opened even wider over his crown, the slow squeeze firing delicious spikes up through his belly. Muscles coiled in his middle, his navel a heat storm. Shoving forward, the silky strained grip sent flames through his groin, up his spine and into his brain. Forcing his eyes to stay open, he watched Blair's face, the head back and mouth open, the loud, gasping groans like music. Every thrust pushed ache to his bones, his muscles stretching out, pulling in. Sweat coated his legs, the bites of air screaming, skin slapping against skin.

Motion changed direction as he slowed, his frustrated lover calling out his name, his hands grabbing for Jim's. He leaned forward his arms supporting him just above Blair's face as the young man's thighs pushed back hard against his shoulders, his ass still impaled to the hilt. "Open your eyes, Chief. Look at me."

"God, please. You're killing me here."

"Then die happy, babe. Look at me." He pumped twice to punctuate his command.

Slowly, his face twisted in the painful pleasure of near coming, Blair opened his eyes and stared upward. The words scraped the air, sharp want scratching his tongue as he worked hard to form them. "Happy, you bossy bastard?" He raised his arms above his head and held onto the headboard for balance before crossing his ankles at the back of Jim's neck. He clenched his ass and raised his hips as a signal. "Now fucking finish what you started."

A quick kiss and Jim urgently renewed his work, his own swollen cock too near to hold back much longer, the pressure in his balls throbbing for release, the panic in his nerves building. The sudden shudder and jerking beneath him brought a fountain of warm spray to coat his belly, the sharp tang stinging his senses. The explosion wracked his own heart, the world filled with flashes of reds and yellows blocking out regular daylight. Stretched and paralyzed, he came with the deepest of pleasure, the waves like the blast of kisses along his spine, his brain pulverized by the most pure sensation of primal release.

As he collapsed forward, the bent body beneath him grumbled, "Oh fucking Jesus, man. I love you, but you're killing me here."

Chuckling, Jim held the edge of the condom and withdrew slowly. As he tossed it to the trash, he rolled away so his lover could flatten out to a more comfortable position. Turning on his side, Blair extended his legs and rubbed his back. "You know if you break me in half, you're the one who's going to be stuck taking care of my miserable body."

Soaked with sweat, every part heavy with the goodness brought with morning sex, Jim drew Blair into an embrace and kissed the back of his neck. "It's a great body. You're not going to break, I promise."

Sighing and relaxing into the hug, the younger man relented. "Promise?"

"Absolutely." He nuzzled there, soaking in the heat, the warmth drawing him back to near sleeping.

"Jim?"

"Yeah?"

"We have to get up."

"We already did that."

"Smart ass."

Rubbing his partner's butt playfully, he whispered, "Yours isn't so dumb either, babe."

"God, Simon's going to kill me if we're late again." He squirmed away and finally sat up on the edge of the bed. His hand stroked Jim's naked thigh as he took several deep breaths in admiration before reaching for his robe.

"Come on, Chief. We've got plenty of time."

Standing, Blair shook his head. "Yeah, well, that's easy for you to say. Whenever we're late, it's me he hassles. I guess he figures since we got together, I'm the bad influence." Smiling playfully, he ran his hand back through his hair. "Little does he know, you're the sex fiend in this family."

"Sex fiend?"

"Yeah, man, every day, morning and night, and noon if you can get it."

Putting his hand over his heart in mock offense, Jim protested, "It's not my fault. Extra touchie-feelie, remember?"

Shaking his head as he massaged his ass, Blair laughed, "Not likely to forget it. You'd think I'd be used to it by now. Damn."

Jim stopped smiling, his mood more serious. "Did I hurt you?"

"I'm just a little sore, but I'll be fine. It's always worth it, man." He leaned down, almost face to face, and sighed, "Always." Suddenly playful, he quickly slapped his cheek and ordered, "Now, hurry up and change the sheets and clean up while I get a hot shower."

"Nobody ever said love wasn't messy."

"You complaining?"

"Not in this lifetime."

Jim didn't need sentinel senses to hear his captain yelling at his partner through the closed door.

"Sandburg, the least you two can do is get your asses to the station on time."

"But, Simon, we would've been on time, but they had construction on Chelsea."

"I don't give a rat's ass about construction on Chelsea or anywhere else in the city. I just want my men on time. Is that too much to ask? And stop calling me Simon. It's Captain or sir. Do I make myself clear?"

Pushing open the door, Jim saw his lover lower his eyes and nervously push back a lose strand of hair before answering. "Sure, Captain. I'm sorry."

"Can't you knock, detective? This isn't a train station."

Jim kept his response about his captain having a caboose up his ass to himself and rapped his knuckles on the door before entering. "Happy, sir?"

"Damn delirious."

Ignoring the gruffness a little longer, he turned his attention to his uneasy partner. "Hey, Chief, what's going on?"

"Nothing, man. Look, did you get that file on Grady from records?"

"Sure." Holding up the folder, he studied the tense features of both his guide and his captain. "Hey, sir, having a bad day?"

"No, I'm not having a bad day. Nobody shows up on time or does what they're supposed to. I've got the mayor all over my ass about the drop in conviction rates, and I'm supposed to meet with IA about Thompson's discrimination case later. How could anyone call that a bad day?" Simon slammed his fist to the cabinet, took a long breath, and then turned to pour himself some coffee.

Blair stared over at Jim, his eyes wide with concern. "Chief, do me a favor. Go look through my stuff and see if you can find the Howard interview and then wait for me in the break room, okay?"

"Sure. Later, Captain." The older man never said a word as Blair scooted out the door in a hurry, closing it behind him like fragile bone china.

Jim shut the blinds before he stepped closer to the desk. Resting one leg up on the edge and leaning forward, he spoke quietly. "You want to tell me what's going on, Simon?"

"No, and get your ass off my desk." Avoiding eye contact, Simon sat down and picked up his cigar, taking several short puffs before pulling the smoke more deeply into his lungs.

Frowning, Jim stood and walked to the window, one hand rubbing his face while his other arm wrapped his middle. After a few moments of tense silence, he pushed harder. "You forget you're talking to me here. I know there's something wrong."

"Nothing's wrong."

"Then why are you acting like an asshole to Blair and just about everyone else around here lately?"

Bright dark eyes met his, the anger flashing in the morning light. "I'm the captain in this department, Ellison. Don't forget that."

"I'm not. But you're also my friend, and frankly, I see a friend in trouble. Now, tell me what's going on." At his captain's hesitation, he tried nudging with humor. "Why not start with why you look like shit. I mean, my god, sir, your suit's even got a wrinkle."

Relaxing slightly, Simon sagged back against his chair and rubbed his right temple. "My whole body feels wrinkled, Jim."

"Did something happen?"

"Yes and no."

"Gee, Simon, I'm a cop. I need a few more details."

His face grim, Simon shook his head, his voice more rough than usual. "Amy left me."

"I'm sorry. When?"

"Well, it's not like we were committed or anything. We'd only been dating a few months. It's just I really liked her. I thought we had a chance, but I guess I was fooling myself."

Pulling a chair closer to his desk, Jim sat down, his hand rubbing his jaw as he watched his friend's sad face grow even more dreary. "Did she say why?"

"I'm old."

"What? She said that?"

"No, not in so many words, but think about it. I'm almost fifty. She was only in her thirties."

Clearing his throat, Jim rubbed his palms on his thighs, suddenly uncomfortable. "But you weren't that much older. Just about the same as ..."

"Yeah, the same as you and Blair, I know, Jim. It's just that there's a difference."

Puzzled, Jim asked, "What?"

"Well, you know. Old habits."

"Old habits?" Jim stopped for a moment and stared, the tone of the words forcing him to add, "As in it's sometimes hard to get it up for a woman when you'd rather have a man?"

Frowning, Simon looked away, his whole body suddenly more rigid. "Damn, don't pull any punches."

The younger man ran his hand along his friend's forearm as he talked, the touch a familiar comfort. "So, did she call you on it?"

"She hinted that I might be happier with someone else, someone more to my preference."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. Ouch. Amy's pretty bright. I think she figured it out."

"Not from me."

"No, not from you."

Jim took a deep breath, his patience stretched, but hanging in there. "So, what gave it away? I mean, she knew you'd been married, so it wouldn't be that. From what I could tell, you showed plenty of interest, so what happened?"

Simon took his hand and held it, his eyes meeting Jim's. "Well, I think it was when I called your name out instead of hers one night."

"Shit."

"You could say that." Simon kissed his fingers gently and then released him while he stood up to walk to the other side of the office.

"I'm sorry, Simon."

"I know. It's just that it still hurts a little. I should be over it. I am over it, mostly. But seeing you with Sandburg, well, I know he's good for you, but it's still hard sometimes." The words choked a little, their slow delivery painful.

Jim got up and walked over to Simon, his body close, his right knee touching his. Caressing the side of his face, he whispered, "I loved you. You know that. I still do in some ways."

"I know." Arms wrapped around his middle as the larger man leaned back to brace himself against the wall. They stood groin to groin, the heat building, Jim's cock waking up, complaining and heavy.

"I just need him, Simon. And I love him. I can't even explain how much."

"I know. Anyone who sees you together knows." The whispered words pushed the coffee-scented breath to him as lips neared his. He swallowed hard as Simon pulled him closer, his simple words enchantment. "But I get so damn lonely."

"I can't." He pushed away, but not far, his breathing too fast.

Eyes black with desire stared into his, the voice husky with need. "God, Jim, I just miss you so much sometimes."

Lips captured his, the tongue greedily probing, pushing in hard, his air stolen. Behind him the sudden click of the door and guide's shocked voice ambushed his hearing. "You son of a bitch."

The angry words and slamming door pulled both men apart in a hurry.

Before Jim could run after his partner, Simon's hand stopped him. "Let him go. He's too pissed to listen right now."

Wheezing in stubborn air, Jim rested his forehead on glass in the door. "I am in such deep shit here."

"We both are. And with good reason. Damn."

Standing straighter, his eyes intense, he turned to his ex-lover. "I can't wait. I have to go find him. If he asks me, you know I'll have to tell him."

"I know. I should never have told you to keep it a secret in the first place. And for that and this thing now, I'm sorry."

Jim snorted and rubbed his face hard with both hands. "Hey, you weren't gropping yourself in the corner alone, Simon. I'm not the innocent here either. God, how could we be so fucking stupid? What a mess."

"Then you'd better go clean up what you can, man, because if I know Sandburg, he's already packing."

"Shit." Heading out the door, Jim prayed for grace from his guide, because he sure as hell didn't deserve forgiveness.

Opening the door to the loft, Jim stepped in, fearful of what he might find. To his surprise Blair calmly sat on the sofa sipping tea while candles flickered in the darkened room. No music played and no response came as he walked over and sat down on the arm rest.

"Chief, I'm sorry." When his partner continued to drink in silence, he tried again. "I never meant for that to happen."

"What? Being with Simon or me finding out about it?" The strained voice stretched the words taut, the tension sharp and cutting.

"Amy left him. He was upset and it just sort of happened."

Carefully Blair leaned forward and put his cup on the table before turning, his blue eyes too bright and his face still flushed and swollen. "Just sort of happened? Don't give me that bullshit, Jim. Nothing just sort of happens unless you want it to."

"That's not true, Blair. I didn't want it to happen, not if it means hurting you." As he started to reach out, his partner jerked away, his whole body still stiff with anger.

"Too fucking late."

"I really am sorry."

"You've said that already. We'll deal with that shit in a minute." Blair stood up, his hands moving to emphasize his words as he walked back and forth in front of the window. "Damn it, Jim, how could you two be so stupid? Anyone could have seen you, and then what? Both of you could be out on your asses."

"I guess we weren't thinking."

"No fucking kidding." After several more trips of pacing, Blair suddenly stopped, his face serious and his arms wrapped around his gut. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Before?"

"Don't compound your sins, man. Why didn't you tell me about you and Simon? What I saw wasn't new. You were lovers before me, right?"

Swallowing hard, Jim nodded. "It was over before you came into the picture. He and Joan were having problems. I was new from vice. We were together off and on for several years."

"Off and on? What the hell does that mean? Were you lovers or just fuck buddies?"

Sitting up straighter, Jim clenched his jaw, his own dark emotion twisting up inside. "We were never just fuck buddies, Sandburg."

"Don't Sandburg me. So, what you're saying is, whenever you didn't have something or someone better to do, you got together to play house?"

Shaking his head, Jim raised his hand. "Whoa there, Chief. You're getting the wrong picture."

"Then give me the right one, man, because I have to tell you, I sure as hell don't like the view from where I'm standing."

Jim took a deep breath, his mind dizzy trying to grab the right words from the swirling chaos in his head. "First of all, I never told you because Simon made me promise not to. He thought you'd be uncomfortable knowing about us with us still working together."

"You should've told me as soon as we got together."

"I know."

"Did you ever ask him later about telling me or did you just sort of go along with it because it was easier."

"I just didn't see the point after so long."

"So, you're just as much to blame as he is then."

"Yeah, I am."

Blair cleared his throat and leaned back against the wall as he talked, his body rocking slowly as he processed all the information. "So, explain the on and off thing, man."

"You have to understand. Both of us tried damn hard to be straight. I married Carolyn and Simon tired to work it out with Joan as much as he could. Call it denial or self-preservation, but neither one of us ever wanted to admit to being completely gay. Simon still fights it, almost as hard as ever. But no matter how we tried, we still needed something else. So, after awhile, we'd meet in secret. I swear, I know it sounds sleezy, but it wasn't just physical. I loved him. Still do in a lot of ways. It was the only time I could ever be myself."

Jim looked up into the sad blue eyes watching him, his voice hushed and heavy with his own hurt. "Until you, Blair. You understood what I was going through and made me understand myself for the first time in my whole life." His throat closed around his words, each one like a guilty fist against his own heart. "I couldn't stand it if I lost you. I love you too much."

His face dropped to his hands, the wet rubbing into his palms as he struggled desperately to control the panic of losing the man who focused and tamed his life.

The sofa sagged beside him as an arm wrapped his shoulders and a hand guided his head down to rest over his partner's strong heart. "I love you, too, Jim, but I swear, I don't like you a hell of lot right now." The slow rocking followed as he embraced Blair and drank in the disturbingly rich scent of both anger and arousal.

Jim sat nervously at the table, his coffee cup cooling between his hands as he watched his friend heat up soup and make a salad. "I could help with that."

"I've got it. Stay put." The tone came out crisp and decisive.

"Okay then. Maybe I should call Simon and tell him I'm still alive."

Blair turned slowly, the knife raised in his hand while he spoke. "Don't you dare. Let the asshole sweat a little longer. We're still not finished here."

"Whatever you say, Chief."

"Bet your ass about that, Ellison." The sharp crack of the knife on the cutting board as he sliced up some carrots backed up his point with a strong dose of Sandburg passion.

Neither man spoke again while Blair set the table, dished out the homemade vegetable soup, and served the salad. Jim watched the efficient moments, but noted the tension in his friend's face. As soon as the younger man sat and picked up his spoon, he asked, "So, what are we going to do? Pretend this didn't happen?"

"Eat your lunch, Jim. I'm still working through some things. When I've got it straight in my head, man, you'll be the first one to know."

"But..."

"No buts. Just eat. Can you just fucking do that?" The angry power grew with each word before Blair threw the spoon across the table, the metal clang loud with every bounce. "Damn it. I wasn't going to do this."

"It's okay." He reached out a tentative hand only to have it batted away.

"Don't touch me, Jim. Not yet." Standing quickly, Blair pushed back his loose hair, and spoke in a rush, his voice shaking. "I don't want to lose you, but this is really hard. I need to know if you meant it."

"Meant what?"

"When you said you still loved Simon, did you mean it?"

"I love you."

Stubbornly, Blair shook his head and persisted, "But do you still love Simon? Be honest, Jim. This is really important. And I don't mean do you just want to fuck him. I mean, do you still love him." The older man stood and left the table, his back to Blair, the words wild and refusing to be wrestled. "Answer me, man. I deserve the truth here."

Hanging his head and avoiding his partner's eyes, Jim turned, his voice barely audible. "I love you, Blair, you have to know that. But, I can't help it. I still love him, too. It's different, but it's still there. He's a good friend, and I just can't stop those feelings."

Instead of being angry, Blair sat down in the chair and stared off while he spoke quietly. "I think I always knew that. I mean, I'm an observer, right? It's what I do. I saw it, but I just didn't really want to see it, you know?"

Stepping closer, he kneeled in front of his guide, his hand shyly touching his knee. Eyes met as he spoke. "I swear we haven't been together before this morning. I wouldn't do that to you."

"But you did it to Carolyn."

The truth of the words stung, his eyes suddenly blurry. "I know. I was a shitty husband back then. I was shitty again this morning."

"Yeah, you were." He took a deep breath and placed his hand on top of Jim's, his fingers gently stroking the thin flesh. Surges powered up the older man's arm as he dropped his head to rest in his lover's lap. Tiny pets soothed him, eased him from the dark shameful place back into the warmth of Blair. "It's going to be okay. We'll work this out."

"But how?"

"Well, we have to first start with both of us being honest."

Lifting his head, a tear tickled his cheek before he could wipe it away quickly enough for Blair not to notice. "I'm trying."

"I know." Blair stood and helped lift Jim to his feet. "Let's sit down over here, man. I've got a confession to make, too."

Blair led him to the sofa and then settled in at one end with Jim at the other. Suddenly fearful, breathing hurt. "Confession? What confession?"

Using both hands to push back his unruly curls, Blair fought a losing battle, the strands falling right back down around his tired face. "What would you say if I told you I didn't mind so much you being in love with Simon?"

"You're kidding?"

"I have to admit that this morning took me by surprise, but like I said, to be honest, I already knew. I just never expected to walk in on it."

The sudden rush of musk in the air surprised him, the flush of Blair's skin unexpected. Jim tilted his head as he studied his lover. He recognized the arousal, but not the reason. "So, what are you saying, Chief? That it didn't bother you as much as you said?"

"No, it bothered me, but for more than one reason."

"You're losing me here."

"That's what I was afraid of most, losing you."

"That's not going to happen unless you want it to."

"Of course, I don't."

"Then, what's the other reason?"

Fidgeting, Blair pulled further back, tucking his legs up, his eyes averted. "You and Simon, man."

"What about us?"

"You're so hot together."

Stunned, Jim pulled back and stared harder, his sense of smell once again picking up the strong scent of Blair's sex. "Shit, Chief. Are you saying it makes you horny to see us together?"

"Well, not this morning, no, but I have to admit I've thought about it before, yeah."

"You thought about us? When?"

Still looking away, Blair picked at the edge of the afgan, his forehead beading in sweat despite the cool air around them. "Different places. The shower, the breakroom, his office. I'm just saying I've had fantasies, all right?"

Rubbing his mouth with his right hand, Jim focused hard on his partner's nervous movements. "Tell me the truth here. What exactly are you saying to me about this situation?"

Clearing his throat, Blair lifted his face, his whole body tense. "First I have to know what Simon really feels about me."

"My god, are you kidding? He loves you. Don't you know that?"

"Well, no, not really."

"How could you not?"

"The yelling sort of fooled me. Lately, he's been on my ass for everything."

Jim shifted over and sat closer, his hand on Blair's shoulder. "Look, I know he's never said it directly, but he does care about you. Now whether that translates to the same kind of love we have, I don't know. And the yelling, well, that's just his way. But what about you?"

"What about me?"

"What do you feel about Simon?"

"I don't know. It's not the same as I feel for you, but I still have this strong connection to him. I'm not sure what that connection is yet though."

"So, what do you want to do about this?"

Touching Jim's hand, Blair nodded. "I think maybe we should ask Simon to join us."

"Really?"

"Really. I think it's a damn shame to love somebody and not be able to show it."

Still a little shocked, Jim didn't trust his shaking hearing. "Are you saying you want us to be a threesome?"

"Do you think it's bad idea? I mean, I read somewhere that bringing in a third party can destabilize a relationship, but I don't know. I just hate having Simon be alone when we both want him."

"So, you really want to do this?" Jim watched the serious expression still not sure about how to respond.

"Well, I'd like to just watch for awhile if that's okay. I'm don't know if I'm ready for anything else yet."

"Sure, Chief. I know you've got that voyeur thing going on." He teased his finger along Blair's cheek, the whiskers burning his skin as he grinned in amusement. His memory of jacking off while his lover watched made him grow hard, his balls already aching. He loved showing off while Blair admired him and then offered himself up all hot and ready later on.

Biting his lip, Blair leaned his face down to rest on Jim's shoulder. "If Simon's willing to share, then so am I, man."

Suddenly the relief and excitment faded as he realized that Simon and Blair wouldn't be the only ones sharing. Hugging his lover closer, he shook off the awful web of selfishness settling all through him, the spreading greed that made him want to keep Blair all to himself. Shit, this wasn't going to be so easy.

The younger man snuggled closer and whispered, "Well, are you going to call Simon and tell him to get his gorgeous ass over here or what?"

Closing his eyes, Jim took a deep breath and tried to figure out if he should cry or be happy. Instead, he just ran his hand down and rubbed teasingly at Blair's growing erection. Biting and licking the side of his neck, he whispered, "Later, Chief. Simon can wait his turn for awhile longer."

"He wants to do what?" Simon Banks stared in amazement as Jim stood on the other side of his desk looking as casual as he did when reporting a case.

"I said he wants to see if the three of us might be able to be together."

"Be together? As in having sex together?"

"Well, it's more than that, Simon." Jim rubbed his mouth as he spoke as he tried to explain more clearly. "It's just that he knows I still love you and thinks it might be okay to explore that as long as he's included."

"The kid's lost his damn mind."

"You think so?" His voice softened as he sat on the edge of the desk, his body close to the larger man's. "Think about it. You've been miserable alone. You said so yourself."

Standing, suddenly tense and angry, Simon stepped to the window, his arms crossed around himself. "I don't need a pity fuck, Ellison. Not from you or Sandburg."

"Do you really think that's what we're offering?" He stayed seated, his words even and calm. Watching his lover's muscles tighten across the shoulders, the inner war raging, he waited several long moments for an answer.

"No, not from you anyway."

"Not from Blair, either."

Turning slowly, dark eyes fixed with his. "Really?"

"Really. He cares about you, Simon."

"Cares enough to share his lover, to offer himself in the bargain?"

"Yes and no."

Sighing deeply, Simon frowned. "You want to explain that?"

Jim walked over and stood next to the larger man, his voice husky but solid. "He's a little unsure of himself with you. He doesn't know how you feel about him, but he wants to try this."

"But why?" Holding out his hand in a questioning gesture, Simon persisted. "He's already got you. I mean, what does he get out of it by asking me to join in?"

Grinning slyly, Jim rested back against the wall, his hands behind him. "He gets turned on thinking about us together. He wants to watch."

"Watch?"

"Yeah. He likes watching."

Massaging his jaw, Simon stared off as he pondered the thought. "He's a peeper, huh?"

"Oh, yeah. In a big way." Jim smiled and leaned closer, his hand on Simon's shoulder while he whispered. "And once he gets going, Simon, he's unfuckingbelievable."

Squeezing his eyes shut, Simon groaned. The strong whiff of musk tickled Jim's nose as he reached down and captured the growing erection. "Door's locked this time, sir."

"God, we can't, Jim."

"I know. But you want to."

"Hell, yeah, I want to. I want to bend your ass over the desk and fuck you into the wood, but I won't."

Chuckling, Jim stroked one last time before moving away. "Guess that's why you made captain. Self-control like steel. Damn impressive, sir."

Simon grunted but didn't answer right away as he sat down, his movements obviously painful. "You're a dick sometimes, Jim, you know that?"

"Anytime for you, captain."

"God." He dropped his head to his uplifted hands, his struggle for regaining control taking a few extra moments. Jim enjoyed the ripeness in the room, his own cock hungry, while he thanked himself for wearing a long loose sweater to work. Finally Simon spoke quietly, his words think and husky. "So, what do you think, Jim? Do you think he's really serious?"

"Yeah, I do. But let me ask you something instead." He positioned himself beside the chair, bracing himself forward on the desk. "How do you really feel about my partner?"

Pushing back a little from the desk, Simon hesitated. "Are you sure you want to hear this, Jim?"

"I asked."

"Yeah, but asking and really wanting to know aren't always the same thing."

"Don't make me crazy here. Tell me what you're thinking."

Swallowing hard before he spoke, Simon fisted his hands together in front of him, his eyes not meeting Jim's. "I never wanted to admit this before. I thought it was too dangerous."

"Dangerous?"

"Yeah, as in Ellison's going to kill my ass for lusting after his partner dangerous."

"Oh, that kind of dangerous."

"Yeah, Jim, that kind of dangerous. Don't forget I know you. You have a possessive streak a mile wide. Face it, you've never liked sharing, your cases, you life, your feelings."

"I'm working on that."

"Hell, you won't even let me drive your truck. What's going to happen the first time I touch your partner?"

Shifting uneasily, Jim stood and paced several times before he stopped and faced Simon. "I have to admit this might not be as easy as Blair thinks it will be, but I'm willing to try. Now, tell me how you really feel about Sandburg."

"He's beautiful, Jim. He's bright and young, so full of energy that sometimes it makes me tired to just watch him move. I can't tell you how jealous I've been since you've been with him."

Shaking his head, Jim moved closer and touched his captain's hands gently. "Why didn't you say something?"

"I figured why bother? What difference would it make? You two belong together. This whole sentinel thing sees to that. We work together and I didn't want to make it any harder than it had to be."

"So you kept it all to yourself this whole time?"

"You knew how I felt about you."

"Yeah."

"And I knew you felt bad about being with Blair knowing that, right?"

"Right."

"So, why tell you I loved your partner when I knew I couldn't do anything about it?"

Nodding, Jim strengthened his determination to make everything work out. "It's time to tell him, Simon. He deserves to hear it, and more importantly, you deserve to be able to say it, to know what it really means to love a man like Blair."

Still reluctant, Simon glanced up, his dark eyes filled with worry. "But what if I risk that and he decides to take you back? To keep you all to himself again? Jesus, Jim, I don't think I could handle that."

"You won't have to. We'll work it out."

"I don't know."

"Come on, Simon. You can't win the jackpot, if you don't gamble."

"And you can't lose your damn heart, either."

"But if you win, you get two hearts for one."

Simon leaned back in his chair, his face twisted with the wrestle between doubt and decision. He rocked a few times before finally nodding. "Okay, then. How do you want to do this?"

"Thought you'd never ask, sir. First, I think you and Sandburg need to get better acquainted."

"And how do we do that?"

Taking a hard deep breath, his jealous stomach clenched, Jim forced the words out. "You're going on a date with my partner. Alone."

"A date?"

"Yeah, Chief, a date."

"You're kidding, right?" Blair stood, arms folded, the small of his back braced against the counter.

"No, I'm not kidding. Simon's going to be here in a little while, so maybe you should go shower and shave, maybe wear that new black suede jacket we bought last week."

Shaking his head in disbelief, Blair asked, "And you're okay with that?"

"Sure. Why shouldn't I be?"

"Jim, come on. When I said the three of us, it was pretty obvious you didn't mind Simon and me sharing you, but you didn't seem that keen on sharing me with Simon."

Frowning, Jim drew back and studied his partner's intense gaze. "How did you know that?"

"I'm not stupid. I know you. That hot session after I asked you to call Simon didn't happen out of nowhere. You're possessive as hell. So, I'm wondering if you're going to be able to handle this."

"You want to back out?"

Gazing down at his feet, Blair shook his head. "No."

"Me, neither."

Blair smiled and met his eyes before his face grew serious again. "So, you really think it's a good idea for Simon and me to be alone together first?"

Jim tilted his head and grinned. "I didn't say I wanted you two to go out and get a hotel room, Chief. It's just dinner."

His faced flushed, Blair whispered, "I don't know."

Stepping in front of his lover, he shoved his legs apart to stand between them before grinding his groin against him teasingly. "It's only a first date. A kiss, maybe some necking. Nothing more until you get home. Got that?"

"And then what?" The words came out breathy, his voice husky as he wrapped his arms around Jim's waist.

"Then you get your first show, Chief."

"Oh, man." Groaning, Blair rubbed his face against Jim's chest, the stubble heating his skin through the cotton tee.

Brushing back the loose curls, he sucked hungrily on the side of his exposed neck, the hard tendon getting extra attention. He pulled away before leaving a mark, his own cock restless. "Now go get cleaned up, babe. Simon doesn't like to be kept waiting."

Swallowing hard, Blair walked a few steps and turned back. "Is there anything else I need to know about Simon?"

Laughing out loud, Jim smirked. "Oh, yeah. Plenty."

"Like what?"

"Save it for tonight." The sudden nervousness brought him closer again, his hand massaging his friend's tense back. "Don't worry."

"But every lover's different. What if I screw up?"

"Well, that's sort of the point." He nibbled the left ear as he chuckled.

"You know what I mean."

Pulling back, he kissed his lover's cheek. "I know what you mean. What can I say? Simon is different from me. He's harder than I am, rougher, but that's because he knows I like that."

Blair looked up, his face confused. "Since when?"

"Since whenever I'm with Simon. We all have different needs, Blair, different appetites."

"I've never been rough with you."

"I didn't need that from you."

A sudden sadness slumped the shoulders, Blair's eyes staring to the unpleasant past, a time before Jim. He shuddered in his arms and rested against him. "I can't handle rough, Jim."

"I know that, and so does Simon. I swear, he won't hurt you, babe. I'll make sure you're ready or we won't do it."

"Promise?"

"Absolutely." Sucking in his ear, he added, "And, Blair."

"Yeah?"

"You're going to be soooo ready."

His lover's frustrated moan tickled his gut as he imagined all the things he needed to prepare before Blair got his first good look at his two men in action.

Simon pulled at his cuffs and straightened his tie once again while they waited for the drinks. Blair watched the nervous moments and found the reaction more comforting than contagious.

"So, you come here often?" His teasing smile received a relieved one in return.

"I used to."

"Yeah? With anyone in particular?"

Simon shrugged and rested his elbows on the table, his face sad. "I brought Amy here awhile ago."

"I'm sorry, man. Jim told me about it. Dating sucks."

"Yeah, it can if you're out with the wrong person." Simon waited until the waitress delivered the order before he continued to tallk. "Look, Blair, about this morning..."

His gut clenched at the memory of the embrace, the passionate kiss between Jim and Simon. "It's okay, man. I mean, it wasn't then. I have to admit I was more than a little pissed at first."

"I don't blame you. I had no right to move in like that. It was all my fault."

"Not hardly. If Jim wanted it stopped, he could have. He just didn't. We both know why. He still loves you, which is why we're here, right?"

"Is it? Is it because of Jim we're here or because of us?"

Shifting in his seat, Blair drank his cold beer, the alcohol doing a slow burn down his throat and into his belly. Putting the glass down, he formed his words carefully. "I think it's because of both."

"Is it?"

"Yeah. We both love Jim and we know he loves both of us, right?"

"Right." Simon drank his whiskey in small sips while he kept his eyes focused on Blair and his voice even.

"So, the only part we have to figure out is how we feel about each other."

"You think that's the only part we have to figure out?"

"The only important part." He leaned forward, keeping his voice low. "Look, I know there are all kinds of other things to deal with, man. There's Jim's possessiveness for one thing."

"He does have that."

"And then there's the awkwardness of being new together." Running his hand back through his hair, he spoke a little faster but didn't look up. "And, man, if we thought it was hard to keep people from finding out about just Jim and me, what's it going to be like with the three of us? It's not going to be easy. I get that."

Simon leaned forward. "And?"

Meeting his companion's dark eyes, Blair drank in the sweet difference, the deep concern and concentration he saw there. "And, none of that matters. I'm not going to say I love you like I do Jim. I don't. But I do love you, Simon, and more importantly, I trust you not to hurt Jim."

"And what about you? Do you trust me not to hurt you?"

"I don't know. I want to."

Simon frowned and nodded. "At least that's honest." He picked up the menu and put it back down without even opening it before he whispered, "I'm not really hungry for seafood. Would you mind if we went some place else?"

"Some place more private?"

"Yeah. I was thinking of my place. I can fix us something there and we can just relax, just talk."

"Just talk?"

"Or whatever."

"And then to the loft to see Jim?"

"Oh, yeah. Definitely."

His face flushed and his hands sweaty, Blair stood up. "You pay for the drinks and I'll get our jackets, though as hot as I am right now, I don't think I'll need it."

"As hot as you are right now, Sandburg, I know I don't need it."

Blair finished off another beer, the soft fuzzy edges of the light soothing to his frazzled nerves as he watched the captain finish up with the dishes. Their earlier passion reduced and contained to soft touches and foot brushes during the meal, he relaxed back against the high back of the sofa. His thick tongue struggled but eventually formed words. "I wanted to say thanks for covering for Jim today."

"Least I could do. Besides he's got a ton of sick days. Did the city a favor."

"That's true." He blinked a few times to clear his blurry eyes and then let his head fall back, his words headed straight up and kind of half-swallowed. "That was really good strogonoff, Simon, even just heated up. I didn't know you cooked."

"Yeah, well, after Joan and I split up, I had to learn about being a bachelor again. Besides, I had Daryl on the weekends and I couldn't let Jim feed the boy all that crap he likes."

Smiling, imagining Wonder Burgers and other high cholesterol treats like tube steak, Blair nodded. "Yeah, he does like his red meat."

The husky laugh so near to his ear surprised him. "Oh, yeah, Jim does like his meat all right." Simon stepped around the end of the couch and settled down next to him, his large hand shyly rubbing Blair's thigh. "Is this okay?"

Lazily he captured the hand, lifting it closer to study the wide palm, his index finger tracing the life line. "You've got beautiful hands, man."

"Do I?"

"Oh, yeah. They're huge, but so perfect." He gently kissed the palm and then licked each finger, the larger man's breath catching. Glancing up, he watched Simon's dark eyes grow blacker, the pupils dilated with desire. His groin tightened and his legs grew heavy.

Simon's left hand caressed his cheek as he leaned in, his mouth capturing his. Lips parted and a thick tongue pushed in hard, forcing his own to surrender, to submit completely. Beer-numbed tissues sizzled awake, every cell coming back on line in a hurry, senses screaming. Solid muscle weighed him back, his body covered and blazing with contact. One hand steadied his head while the other slid down between them, finding its target between his legs, rubbing with the same urgent rhythm of the tongue thrusting inside him.

Overwhelmed, he panicked, his legs coming up and his hands pushing against the well-defined chest pinning him down. "Wait, man. Hold up."

Simon stopped and stared, his eyes concerned. "What's wrong?"

Swallowing hard, Blair shook his head, his whole body shaking. Scooting away, he worked to even his breathing, to calm the gibberish racing through his head. "Too fast, man. Too fast. I'm sorry."

"Too fast?"

Keeping his eyes down, his arms around his middle, Blair words rushed out, running all together. "I'm sorry, Simon, I am. Don't be mad, man. I just have to take it slow. It's not you, honest. Jim was the same way. It just takes time. Oh, man." Squeezing his eyes shut, the rush of memories ambushed him again, the rough hands, the hurt, the loss of control over his own body.

He flinched at the unexpected touch at his shoulder, but let it stay there. "Shit, Simon, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Blair. Just settle down."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that." After a few seconds, he whispered, "Come here and let me just hold you, okay?"

"Okay." Embarassed, Blair leaned against him, his body quickly embraced and pressed gently against the racing heart pounding beneath his ear. After a few minutes of quiet, he relaxed and wrapped his own arms around the larger man's middle. "You feel good."

"Thanks. So do you." Simon rubbed his chin across the top of Blair's curls and then growled, "Rotten bastard."

"What?" His whole body stiffened at the words, the attack unexpected.

"The rotten bastard who hurt you. Has Jim killed his ass yet?"

Blair actually smiled at the idea, but then quickly grew more serious, the faces of the rotten bastards too strong in his head. Biting his lower lip, he closed his eyes again and held on more tightly. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Then you don't have to. Not yet." A large hand massaged his shoulder while another combed his thick curls, the huge fingers delicate in their touch, kind and soothing.

"That feels good."

"I love your hair, Blair. I've never really seen a man's hair like this. It's soft, but tough, too. Sort of springy but still silky. I've never felt anything quite like it." He kissed the top of his head and whispered, "I'm sorry I scared you."

"It wasn't you."

"I know."

"So, you're not disappointed?"

"Not the way you're thinking, no. I love you, Blair. I don't know if I made that clear to you or not, but I don't say that easily." He took a deep breath, his words clear and without hesitation. "I have to admit that when Jim first told me about this threesome thing, I didn't know what to think. All I knew is that I missed being with Jim, and when you two got together, I wanted you, too. Now, don't get me wrong. I'll admit, it was a lust thing at first. You may not realize this, Sandburg, but you're a hell of a beautiful man, fucking incredibly gorgeous."

"I don't know why you and Jim say that."

Simon hushed him with a quick squeeze. "Because it's true. Now let me finish."

"Okay."

"It wasn't really until later, when I saw your devotion to Jim, that I got so jealous. I wanted some of that, too, and I got a taste of it a few times like when we went fishing or when you helped me with Daryl, and I wanted more."

"Greedy bastard." Blair cuddled closer, his body sluggish and sleepy.

"Yeah, that's true. You're special to me, Blair, that's all I'm saying."

"Sounds like you're saying a lot."

"That's because I am. So if you need to go slow, I can do slow."

"That's so cool, man. Thanks."

Blair turned his head and kissed the outline of Simon's nipple through his shirt, the nub hardening immediately. Before he could latch on, Simon moved away and lifted his chin. "I said I could do slow, Sandburg. I didn't say I was a fucking saint."

Grinning, Blair shrugged. "It just felt good."

"It most certainly did. Now, let's get you home before I lose what little control I have left so I can let you watch me take my frustrations out on our partner."

Suddenly excited, his thoughts energized, Blair smiled. "Really?"

"Oh, yeah. Jim's going to get quite the work out thanks to you. And you, my lovely voyeur, are going to get one hell of a peepshow."

"Gee, Jim, are we having a party?"

"If we're lucky, yeah." He smiled as Blair scanned the room, taking in the changes, the low lights, flickering candles, and soft jazz playing very low in the background. He'd also moved the coffee table out of the way and a comforter stacked with pillows lay in front of the glowing fireplace. "I thought I'd get things a bit more romantic for the second part of the evening."

"Looks great. What do you think, Simon?"

"I think Jim's been busy. The place looks like let's get laid central."

Ignoring his captain's joke, Jim took in the anxious expression of his guide. "So, how did things go out on the town?"

"It was fine, man. We ended up going back to Simon's and he cooked a great dinner. No problem." Before he said anything else, Blair suddenly paled and headed toward the bathroom. "You two just keep talking. I'll be right back."

Simon stepped closer, his hand on Jim's shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me about Blair's problem?"

Meeting concerned eyes, Jim shrugged. "I was hoping it wouldn't come up. Why, what happened?"

"He just got upset. Said I was going too fast. Then he got more upset about that. You should've told me."

"He'll have to tell you himself when he's ready, Simon." Raising his palm to the older man's cheek, he gently caressed it. "I'm sorry it happened, but that's why it's so important that we go slow and make sure he feels absolutely safe with both of us."

"I understand that." Leaning in, Simon kissed him lightly before pulling back. "I promised him quite a show. You think you're up for that?"

Jim moved even closer, his groin pressed against his captain's, the bulge obvious through the thin layers of the sweats. "What do you think, Simon? It's been over four years since we've been together. I've missed you."

"Me, too."

Jim held the back of his head, his fingers rubbing against the tight curls, the texture of the hair so different from Blair's. His mouth pressed hard, his tongue working its way inside, hungry for the rich taste he knew from so long ago. His whole body responded from memory, the tightening of his belly, the sweat slicking his thighs. God, how he missed being with the man in his arms. The low groan added to his pleasure, but he forced himself to slow down. "Wait, Simon. We want to do this right."

Swallowing hard, Simon nodded. "I'm with you on that."

The flush and the sound of running water announced Blair's return as the two men moved apart for the moment.

"You two want a beer or something?"

Simon frowned and crossed his arms. "You sure you want another one? You've already had five tonight."

"So?"

"So, Chief, he's saying maybe you want to slow down."

"You two ganging up on me already?"

Jim stepped in behind Blair, took the bottle from his hand and put it back in the refrigerator. As he shut the door, he wrapped his arms around his middle and whispered, "If you're nervous, we can stop. We won't do this at all unless you're sure."

"But I want to do this, Jim. It's just..."

"Just what, babe?"

"I don't know. I'm just being stupid."

Coming around the counter, Simon stood to the other side, his voice softer than usual. "If we're going to do this, Blair, we have to be honest. Tell us what you're feeling."

Not making eye contact with either man, but not pulling away from Jim's embrace, he spoke quietly. "I guess I'm just a little afraid, that's all. You two have such a long history. I mean, I want you to be together, but I'm just a little afraid of what might happen after that."

"What do you think will happen, Chief?"

"I don't know."

"Yeah, you do. You think that once Simon and I get together, you'll be out of our lives." Nuzzling the crook of Blair's neck, he spoke with a hushed intensity. "That's not going to happen. I love you. That's never going to change. I can't promise things won't be different, but the love is forever. If anything, it'll be stronger. I mean, how many other men would ever be so generous?"

"Generous?"

"Yeah, generous. Who else would be able to share like that, to be able to let Simon and me love each other again? Not many." He took a long breath, his words powerful. "But I swear to you, it's not a risk. I won't ever leave you, ever. I need you too much. And I want you. You've got to believe that."

Simon's ran his hand through Blair's hair while Jim continued to suck and kiss at the edge of the younger man's neck, the tiny shudders throughout his body increasing. Rubbing his cheek against his guide's, Jim took a deep breath, the scent of arousal from all men a heady mix. "Okay, Chief. It's time to strip. I want you naked and on the couch while Simon and I get reacquainted on the mat in front of the fire."

"Naked?"

"Completely." He nibbled the ear while his demands continued. "And, you can't touch yourself or get off until Simon or I tell you to. Got that?"

Closing his eyes, his breathing already ragged, Blair shook his head. "I don't know if I can do that, Jim."

"Sure you can."

"Can't I hold myself just a little?"

"Nope."

"Oh, man."

Chuckling to himself, he led his lover to the sofa. He signaled for Simon's help and between the two of them, they slowly undressed him, shoes, shirt, the pants, and then the underwear. Standing there completely nude, Blair bit his lip and sat down, his hands in his lap to cover his erection.

Jim smiled and leaned in, his voice husky. "You want me to use the cuffs, Chief?"

Not speaking, Blair met his eyes, the dark blue nearly gone to black as he shook his head no.

"Then I want you to either sit on those hands or put them behind your back. Anywhere except covering that gorgeous cock."

Reluctantly Blair repositioned himself, his arms to his sides, his palms cupping the under part of his thighs. "God, you're bossy. You happy now?"

"Oh yeah." Grinning wickedly, Jim spread his lover's legs as he kneeled, kissing the slick head of the cock. Blair's head fell back, the groan rumbling through his chest. After a few quick licks, the tang like pure heat to his groin, Jim spoke in a low growl. "Watch me, Chief."

Blair met his eyes, his face and body flushed with desire. "I love you, Jim."

"I love you, too, Blair." As he stood, Jim took off his tank top, and in an efficient movement, rolled off his sweat pants and boxers. Turning to Simon with a predatory smile, he took a deep breath. "You ready to say hello, sir?"

Arms crossed, his strong face smirking, Simon tilted his head. "Maybe. What have you got to offer?"

"How about I help you take your clothes off?"

Shaking his head, Simon's tone deepened, his words snapping his commands. "No, Detective. Get on your knees, hands behind your back. Don't say or do anything until I'm ready. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

Following orders, his whole body tense with anticipation, Jim's eyes never left Simon. He watched as the older man slowly unbuttoned his vest and folded it, followed by the shirt. Taking off his shoes and then his socks, he put them next to the other clothes before stepping onto the pallet, his eyes narrowed. He put his large palm on the top of Jim's head, the fingers inching down to the side of his face and then lifting his chin. "Do the favors."

Not smiling, his face hungry, Jim nodded. Focused on the zipper, he pulled it down slowly and reached through the slit of pants to release the bulging cock. The gasp from the couch amused him as he heard Blair's surprise translated into simple words. "Oh. My. God!"

Simon chuckled, his words sultry. "I think Sandburg likes what he sees, Jim. What do you think?"

"I think he's a man who knows impressive when he sees it."

"Jesus, man, you're huge. You could kill somebody with that thing. Hell, you could put it on a leash and walk it. Damn."

"Hush, Chief. Just watch, remember?"

The audible gulping followed by silence signaled Simon to cup the sides of Jim's face and draw him closer. "Say hello, detective."

Leaning forward, Jim's tongue tip barely touched the crown, his mouth then opened to engulf it. The older man's breathing quickened as he guided Jim even closer. Bobbing several times, the suction increased while one hand fondled the dark balls, the other wrapping to steady the thick base. Pumping into Jim's mouth to the back of his throat, the cock grew even hotter, the extended vein pulsing against Jim's pressured tongue. Finally, Simon withdrew and whispered, "Now on all fours."

As Jim changed positions, Simon stepped back and finished removing his clothes, his well-defined body glistening with sweat, the wet skin dark and gleaming. "Where's the bag?"

"Under the pillow."

An involuntary shudder wracked his body as Jim waited while Simon retrieved the treasure. Kneeling to Jim's side, the captain placed the contents on the comforter, the condoms, the KY jelly, the wet wipes, and a final trophy. Pulling and snapping the latex glove over his right hand, he opened the tube and covered his fingers. "You ready?"

Jim nodded, his gut clenching as Simon moved in behind him, his body positioned against him like a wrestler's. One arm gripped around his middle while the other hand worked between his asscheeks, two fingers pushing into him, shoving harder. "God, you're tight, lover. Jesus, so tight. Relax for me. I'm going deep with this next one." Four fingers thrust and rotated, his groans growing louder as the pain increased, his limit nearing.

Before he begged for less force, Simon eased back and withdrew, his tongue licking the roundness of his ass and then trailing up the spine. Tiny shivers electrified his body, his skin sparking with need.

"You're beautiful, Jim. So fucking beautiful." Removing the glove, Simon tossed it in the trash before returning to spoon himself up and over Jim's body, his teeth capturing first the back of his neck and then nibbling his ear as he whispered, "You cleaned yourself up for me like always. You even stretched yourself, didn't you?"

"Yes." The one word taxed his strained breathing, the need for language escaping his brain.

"Did you get off on your own while you did it, while you fucked yourself to get ready? Did you?" He bit the side of Jim's jaw and suckled the edge of the right shoulder.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Didn't want to. Wanted you." He pumped his hips back against the heavier man, the cock sliding down the crease of his backside. "God, Simon. Do something. Please."

Pausing for a long as it took to tear the foil, the captain rolled on the condom and positioned himself behind Jim. Taking a deep breath, the younger man held it while the crown pushed forward, the slow stretch painful, a roll of cramps catching him off guard. Jim ignored them, let himself flow gently over the discomfort. Slow rocking shoved the thickness further in, impaling the ache, the growing pressure inside him shutting down all knowledge other than the sensation of being fucked hard by a man he loved.

"Breathe, Jim. Slow breaths, babe. Come on. Relax. I don't want to tear you."

As he worked to control his breathing, one arm steadied his hips while the other reached around him, the large hand stroking Jim's withered cock. The flagging erection soon returned to heavy throbbing despite the intense burning, the terrible fire growing as Simon pumped even faster. Each stroke sizzled flame up his backside, the long thrusts winding his nerves tighter, his muscles all in rebellion. Slick trails of sweat dripped from his armpits as his eyes squeezed shut against the salt, against the flood of tears staining his face. Head back, mouth open, he struggled for air, his lungs starved and needy. Like a sudden crack of bones snapping, his spine arched back as Simon pulled him closer with both arms, grinding and jerking at his own release with a chorus of, "Oh, Jesus!"

Before the spasms finished, Jim moved his own hand around his abandoned cock, working with a practiced motion. Only a few strokes later his own explosion expanded through him, every nerve springing up and waving, his skull rocked with intense waves of red spreading to chip away at all his senses, masking heart sounds with yellow and blues. Shaking, his skin scorched with flesh to flesh contact, he collapsed beneath his partner's limp weight, his body trapped there as he searched the universe for one more ounce of strength.

Surrender engulfed him as Simon lifted up enough to withdraw. A few moments later, the cool wetness of a cleaning towel wiped his sore opening. Turning him on his side, the older man finished with a fresh cloth to his groin, his movements no longer hard, but soothing, touching him with tender affection. Then still without speaking, the larger man embraced him, his lips first kissing his forehead before swarming a trail down his face to his lips. A tongue invaded his mouth bringing with it the familiar taste of his lover, a man who held him now like a sanctuary from fears of both past and future. A muscular leg lifted and draped over his thighs urging him closer. Pulling his head back, Simon's husky voice worked to speak clearly, the words choked. "God, Jim, I've missed you so much. My life's been so empty." He brought Jim's face to rest on his chest, the pounding heart a vital rhythm. "I love you."

"Me, too, Simon." Snuggling closer, his voice barely audible, Jim added, "But we're not done here."

"I know. What do you want to do?"

"Stay close and follow my lead."

"You've got it."

A quick squeeze and Jim turned to face the sofa, his rear in Simon's lap. Blair watched in silence, eyes misty, but his cock still in urgent need of relief. Suddenly alarmed by his guide's sad expression, he asked, "What's wrong, Chief?"

"Nothing, man. That was beautiful."

"So why are you upset?"

"Because you should've been together all along."

Shaking his head, Jim raised his left arm to signal his friend to come closer. "Get over here, Blair. It's time we did some serious bonding."

"You sure?"

Simon's voice rumbled, "Get you ass over here, Sandburg, and stop playing hard to get." The volume eased a little when he added, "Come on, Blair. Join us. Please."

Standing a bit awkwardly, his face flushed but still uncertain, Blair took only a few steps before he grasped Jim's outstretched hand. A simple tug brought his nude body to rest on his back between the larger men. The heat of contact along his chest and groin surged through him as Jim ran his hand over Blair's nipples while he spoke softly. "You're so beautiful, Chief." Keeping his eyes fixed on his guide's, he stroked the leaking cock. "Your spirit, your body. I love the whole package. Being with Simon doesn't change that. Let us love you together. Let him touch you."

Blair glanced over at Simon, his face still shy. He took a deep breath before his voice worked, the words quiet. "You love Jim so much, man. Do you think you could ever love me like that?"

"I think I already do, Blair. I know I want to. What about you? Can you love me even half as much as you love him?"

Reaching over, the younger man took Simon's hand and held it to his chest, his eyes closed. "I never thought this could happen, but yeah, I think so. I never knew loving two people could feel like this."

"Like what, Chief?"

He glanced over at his partner while still holding Simon's hand and took Jim's at the same time. "For some reason I thought loving another person would take away from the love I have for you, you know, cut it in half or something, but it doesn't work like that. It makes it more. Like there's this huge amount of feeling inside I never knew existed." Swallowing hard, he squeezed both hands. "It's pretty intense, man. I'm a little overwhelmed here."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Big time."

Jim smiled and then looked over at Simon, the dark sparkle of mischief in his eyes letting him know his lover would know what to do next. "Guess what. Sandburg's overwhelmed."

"I heard that."

"So, you think we should show him the real meaning of overwhelmed?"

"Like define it for the kid, sort of like a little demonstration of how two lovers can make a man come twice as hard as one can?"

"Something like that, yeah." Jim removed his hand from Blair's and slid it down to wrap the frustrated erection. "No more talking, Chief. Can't have you go crazy with no satisfaction." His mouth captured Blair's, the full lips pressing back before opening, his tongue sweeping in. The sudden jerk upward followed Simon's dive to Blair's nipples, his lover's famous tongue bath making progress in heating up the younger man's body. His guide's heart beat raced, his excited breathing labored and rushed.

Releasing the hungry mouth, he traded places and let Simon tonsil dive while he went for the gold between Blair's legs. Spreading them further apart, he fondled the balls while he lapped at the smooth crown, the tip like his favorite candy, tart and slick against his tongue. Groans grew louder as hips bucked up, Blair responding to both Simon's talented mouth exploring all over his body and Jim sucking him while teasing the tight pucker. Fingering his guide's ass in earnest, balls drew up as Blair's cock fucked his face, pumping in the same rhythm set by Jim's commanding hand.

The uncontrolled jerking and rush of thick heat in his throat came with a loud, unexpected cry. Simon's mouth quickly smothered the scream, muffling the choked sound and transforming it to desperate moans and whimpers. Carefully, Jim lapped and cleaned off the pubic area, drinking the slippery semen like a lazy cat having supper, his efficient licks heading up Blair's belly. Hands trapped at his sides by Simon's, the younger man lay suddenly limp, his eyes squeezed shut, and his breathing ragged with the aftershock of an absolutely satisfying sense of completion.

Lying next to his exhausted young lover, Jim smiled at Simon, the dark face smug and slick with sweat. Working together, he eased Blair's body forward into his arms long enough for Simon to stretch out behind Blair to support him as he leaned back. Jim snuggled in closer with the smaller form between them and then relaxed, drinking in the heat of not one lover, but two. Sated and proud, his breathing settled into an easy pattern as Simon combed damp curls resting on his chest.

Blue eyes fluttered open briefly and closed again as a dreamy voice whispered, "Two against one, man. I can live with that."

"Yeah, Chief. It looks good on you." Glancing up, he met Simon's contented brown eyes and smiled. "I think it looks damn fine on all of us."

The End