by Tirinar
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Disclaimer - Paramount owns 'em all, except the story which is mine.
U2 owns the song 'With Or Without You'.
Feedback - PLEASE!! No Flames please, I already have a toaster.
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He lay there.
Almost silent in the dim light. Beautiful to see. I knew I shouldn't
have come here but I had to see. Had to see him. I get this urge every
night, just to watch and listen to him sleep. He doesn't talk much,
but he mutters. And I can always tell if he's dreaming by the smile on
his face or that brow creasing. His eyelids flicker as well, and he moans
from time to time.
I don't know exactly when I fell in love with my best friend.
I've always wanted to protect him, since the moment I saw him getting
wrangled by that Ferengi back on Deep Space 9, all those years ago. It may
have been the day, moment, second he said to me, after hearing all the
stories, rumours and outright lies about my prison stay,
"I don't need anyone to choose my friends for me."
I've waited for years. For him to get over Libby, for him to move on
with his life.
I waited years. And then this Seven chick comes along, and my Harry's
got a crush on her. I cried for an hour when I found out. I won't
let her take my Harry. My Harry. Oh I wish.
Every night, when I can finally go back to my quarters, I lay awake
thinking about him. I dream about him, holding him, kissing him, making
love to him. I know if I ever got the chance at the latter exactly
where I'd kiss him first. Just below his ear, on his neck. Then maybe
lower, to take his heartbeat in my mouth.
I have to stop this, before my thoughts become too obvious. Physically,
I mean. Damn him, I love him. He has such an effect on me. I'm glad we
got stuck out here. I would never have met him otherwise. And as for
Libby. I'm sorry for her, really I am. She sounds a great girl. But
I'm glad that I have him with me instead of her. Love is selfish,
I know. But if you know my Harry, you'll know why I feel like this about
him.
So protective. But it's so right. Natural. Like breathing. If
I have to breathe for my body to live, I have no problems. But I need
Harry for my heart, my mind, my soul. I need Harry. More than the
ship's air, more than Neelix' food substitute. Without Harry,
I cannot live.
He is my life force. He taught me so much. How to give. How to love. How
to love him.
I need Harry Kim to survive.
"I can't live with or without you."
The words from an age old song come back to me. They seem to fit.
I can't live with him being so close and so far away. And I can't
live without him.
So I decided.
Tonight is the night.
Tonight my dreams will be fulfilled or shattered. One or the other.
"Tonight is the night I tell you I love you."
I say it out loud, softly.
---
As he heard the words uttered softly from his best friend's own lips,
Harry Kim closed his eyes. In a whisper of a dream-like state, his mouth
shaped the word "Tom" before sleep claimed him.
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End
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