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"Happy Valentine's Day, Harry"
by Terranfem
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February 1998
Disclaimer:Harry Kim, Tom Paris, B'Elanna Torres and the whole slew
of Star Trek characters all belong to Paramount. No copyright
infringements intended.
Warning:This story implies a character death and is sort of on the gloomy
side which is not exactly in keeping with the mood for Valentine's
Day.
Introduction:I've been feeling in an angst-mood lately and this story
just popped into my head. Sorry, guys! I'll try to write a fun-filled
story next time. <g>
Spoilers:None
Archiving:Will be archived at my website. Okay to archive at the PKSP
Story Archive and R'rain's Slash Archive.
Feedback:All feedback is appreciated (no flames though). This is the
first "sad" story I've written so I'm not quite sure if
I correctly captured the emotions.
---
Tom Paris whistled happily as he donned a silky sky-blue shirt and tucked
the tails into the waistband of his black form-fitting pants. He ran his fingers
through his red-gold hair to give it that tousled look. He stood back from
the mirror and surveyed himself critically. Then, he grinned. Harry would
love him in this outfit! Especially the blue shirt for it emphasized his
blue eyes.
A frown creased Tom's forehead. Something wasn't quite right.
That's it, he thought and he reached up to unbutton the top four
buttons of his shirt. Harry enjoyed seeing his bare chest and who was he
to deprive Harry of that sight?
Today was Valentine's Day and he had special plans for tonight. He
even reserved Holodeck 2 for the whole evening. And no food from Neelix
tonight, thank goodness. He'd endured weeks of Neelix's cooking
just to save his replicator rations so he could prepare one of Harry's
favorite meals: flambe noodles and for dessert, fudge ripple pudding.
Tom checked himself in the mirror one last time then he strode over to
the coffee table and picked up the bottle of wine given to him as a gift
by one of the prime ministers of a planet they'd visited. He had been
saving this wine for a special occasion and tonight was the night.
Smoothing down his blue shirt and picking off some invisible lint from his
pants, Tom headed out the door towards Sandrine's and his
Valentine's Day date with Harry.
The holodeck doors opened at his approach and he quickly stepped inside.
"Engage privacy locks," he ordered. With a beep, the computer
acknowledged the command. He glanced around and was pleased at the
romantic ambiance provided by the softly flickering candles. He noticed
that Sandrine had even removed the pool table just for him and in its
place was a small round table set for two. "Perfect," he
complimented Sandrine who was hovering at the bar.
He puzzled for a moment as to why she was looking at him with such a sad
expression on her face. In the back of his mind, he knew why but he just
didn't want to face it right now. He didn't want to deal with it.
Not tonight.
"Thanks for doing this for me, Sandrine," he looked up at the
hologram character as she approached with some appetizers. He pulled out a
chair and sat down.
She carefully placed the food on the table. "It is not a problem,
cheri," she smiled, affectionately stroking Tom's cheek.
Tom returned the smile and then turned back to the table. Sandrine gazed
at the back of Tom's head for a moment, the sorrowful expression
returning again to her face, before she, too, turned and walked back
towards the bar.
"I have a surprise for you, Harry! Tada!" Tom excitedly pulled
out the wine bottle from beneath the table. "It's real wine,
Harry. None of that replicated stuff." Tom yanked the cork out and
inhaled the wine vapors from the cork. "Hmmm. . . smells good. Must
have been a good year. Here, I'll pour some wine for you." Tom
poured the clear red liquid into the wine goblets. With shaky fingers, he
lifted his glass for a toast. "To us, Harry. Happy Valentine's
Day. I love you. I'll always love you." He downed the contents of
his goblet, welcoming the warm sensation of the liquid. He set his glass
back down.
His eyes traveled to Harry's untouched wine glass and, after a
heartbeat, he reached for it. His lips trembled as his mouth touched the
rim but before he could even take a sip, the tears that he had been
valiantly holding back since this morning began to pool in his eyes. It
scalded down his cheeks and he made no effort to wipe it off as it
trickled off his chin and created a splotchy pattern on his shirt.
The pain and the memories he had been avoiding came rushing back and he
was so caught up in it that he failed to notice the holodeck doors opening.
B'Elanna Torres entered hesitantly, guiltily aware that she was
intruding. But any qualms she may have had disappeared as she caught
Sandrine's concerned look."Where's Tom?"
she asked.
"Over there, cherie." Sandrine pointed in Tom's direction.
She placed a hand on B'Elanna's arm. "I am glad you are
here. He needs a friend right now," she thanked B'Elanna, clearly
relieved that she was there. "But please," she entreated,
"be gentle with him."
"I will, Sandrine," B'Elanna promised, smiling reassuringly
at the hologram.
Careful not to startle Tom, she approached the still, silent figure who
was staring fixedly at the goblet across from him. "Tom?" she
asked softly.
No response.
"Tom?" she repeated a little louder. "It's me.
B'Elanna." It wasn't until she actually laid a hand on his
shoulder that she realized that he was silently crying. She keenly felt
the tremors running through his shoulders underneath her fingers.
"Oh, Tom," she knelt down beside him, her heart aching in
sympathy for her friend.
Tom finally sensed her presence and focused anguished eyes on her. The
tears shone on his cheeks. "B'Elanna," he whispered
despondently, "I miss him so much."
A lump formed in her throat. "I know. I miss him too. We all miss
him."
"This would have been our first Valentine's Day together."
Tom's voice broke. "It had taken me and Harry so long to get
together and then to lose him so soon. . ." Teardrops stained his
shirt again.
"I know, I know," was all B'Elanna could say as she gently
wiped off the salty liquid from his pale cheeks.
"I'd planned this dinner for weeks," Tom continued,
oblivious to her ministrations. "I was going to surprise him with it.
I thought that, maybe, if I went through with this, I could pretend
he's not really gone. That he's still with me and that any minute
now he would come walking in through those doors." He glanced at
Sandrine's doors with red and bleary eyes. "I thought it would
make his death less real." Tom stared sadly at Harry's goblet.
"But it's no use pretending, is it? He really is gone." He
let out a deep shuddering breath. "I have to accept that."
B'Elanna spoke softly. "As long as you remember him, he'll
always be alive here -" she took Tom's right hand and placed it
over his heart, " - and in here," she moved his hand to his
head. "You'll always have him in your memories."
"I know." Tom finally accepted Harry's death and for the
first time since his loss, Tom's chest didn't feel so tight and
heavy with grief. This evening had provided some sort of a cathartic
release and healed a part of him.
"Is everything alright, Tom?"
Tom wiped his tears away with the back of his hand as he looked up at
Sandrine and considered her question. He still missed Harry terribly but
the future didn't seem quite so bleak and empty now."Yeah,"
he replied softly. "It'll take me awhile but I think it's
going to be okay." He nodded, more to himself. He then grinned at
B'Elanna. "Join me for dinner? Harry wouldn't want us to
waste all this food."
She grinned back. "I'd love too."
Sandrine clapped her hands. "I will have Jacques serve dinner at
once."
Tom helped B'Elanna unto the chair opposite him. The chair where
Harry would have been seating. He re-filled both their goblets with wine
and raised their glasses high.
"Happy Valentine's Day, Harry," B'Elanna declared.
A melancholy smile ghosted on Tom's lips as he touched
B'Elanna's goblet with his own. "Happy Valentine's
Day, Harry." As he said the words, Tom could swear that he felt a hand
brush against his shoulder and a pair of familiar warm lips caress his
lips and he could almost hear Harry whispering, "Happy
Valentine's Day, my love."
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If you read it this far, I hope I didn't depress you. :-) I hope you enjoyed
this short story anyway. I would love feedback so please feel free to send
any comments my way.
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End
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