They were both blind. Tom should have been thankful for that, his best friend and girlfriend not being able to see what was really going on in their relationships. He wasn't though; it only made him sad to see that they wouldn't look past the flimsy barriers he had put around his heart.

They both loved him in a way, he supposed. Just not in the way that he truly wanted. She came to him more out of loneliness and affection than attraction or passion and Harry didn't even try to change the best buddy, brotherly camaraderie they had always shared. They were on molded runners going nowhere fast, and he wanted to break free of the roles they had set up, but with no one to pull him free it seemed impossible.

He touched them both, wondering if anyone ever noticed the difference in how he did that. Marveled at how close he would sit, or walk, next to his best friend when B'Elanna was held an arm length away in public. Was astonished that no one else saw the brief flicker of pain in Harry's eyes, not even the stalwart young Ensign himself, when the "happy couple" wanted to be alone.

Something had to change. This was all a lie. He wanted...no. He couldn't want that. Harry probably would never expect it because, well, it would just not be anything like what he was anticipating. After chasing after most of the eligible women of the ship the last thing anyone would expect would be for Tom Paris to proposition his best friend...best male friend. Even if it was the one thing he wanted to do most of all; not just one night or one week, but for the rest of their lives. Harry would never expect that.

It would not happen. The risk was too great and so he would cling to B'Elanna for a while longer and she would protect him from the loneliness of the night as he watched over her. And nothing would change.

end