by Adam
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Disclaimer: Tom, Harry and everyone else belong to Voyager.

Warnings: A tiny bit of strong language and adult themes.

Archive: Pkelite, Tom Paris Dorm and anyone else ask, pwease!

Dedication: I decided to dedicate this to Jera as it's her birthday. It may not be bright and happy but it's for you! J

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Tom, I want you. Look at you standing there, pretending you don't notice my longing stares, flirting with that bitch. She can't give you what I can Tom.

She doesn't know what you need.

I do, Tom. Just give me a chance.

Harry Kim thought all of this as he sat in a darkened corner of the re-designed Sandrine's bar. His friendship with Tom had grown over the years into lust, then from lust to longing and that longing had now finally transcended into the painful love he was feeling right now.

As he ate there was Tom. Slept, Tom. Worked, Tom. His every waking and sleeping moment was done with Tom at the forefront.

"Hey Har, come over here!" Tom yelled, his arm placed
firmly around his fiance.

//Yeah right. For what? So you can rub my nose in how happy you are. Show me what I can't have even though I deserve it. Know that we ARE meant to be. Not you and that slut!//

"No thanks, Tom. I have to get back to work." I tell him, hoping he can see through my lie, but his attention is already back on his beloved.

//Sex. That's all it is. He's thinking with his cock plain and simple.//

I walk out of Sandrine's heading to Tom's quarters, leaving, what I hope is a confused and worried Tom behind.

I enter his darkened quarters, feeling my senses come alive with Tom's scent. They usually go to her quarters to spend their time. His quarters are still pure. Still perfect.

I leave his sweet-smelling quarters only minutes later, a small package bundled under my arm.

"Ensign." One of the many crewmen says, giving me a nod. Like I care about that worthless life.

I care about my life. I care about Tom's and screw everyone else's.

I finally reach my quarters and set the package down on the sofa, falling down beside it.

"He's gonna be mine. He's gonna be mine. He's gonna be mine." I say over and over again. I know he's going to be mine, it's just a matter of time. Tom loves me. I just have to make him see that.

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Tom looked at the door Harry had just exited curiously.

//He's been acting weird recently. I mean, sure he's feeling left out, but I'm getting married. I can't spend all my time with him.//

//He was the first to believe in you!// A second voice argued.

//So I should stay alone forever to repay some kind of debt?// The first voice argued.

Tom's internal battle continued, becoming increasingly worried for his best friend of four years.

Deciding it best to talk to his friend, he made his apologies and quickly left. Asking the computer where Harry was, sighing in relief that he was in his quarters.

//At least we can talk in private.//

Just minutes later Tom was stood outside Harry's door, his fist pounding on it. He'd tried the comm several times and, upon receiving no answer he proceeded to buckle the bulk heads with his fists.

"Harry, open this fucking door now before I do something I'll regret." Tom ground out.

The door suddenly opened and, as Tom was leaning slightly against the door he fell into Harry, and was roughly pushed away.

"Can I help you, Tom? Or do I have to get Titanium plated doors?!" Harry asked in an even voice, though the sarcasm was thick.

"What the hell is your problem? I'm getting married. You should be happy for me. Jesus, Har' you're my best friend!" Tom argued, the hurt and pain showing in his voice.

Harry turned away, his face showing boredom but inside he was a coiled spring, just ready to burst with pent up rage, passion and love.

He needed to express his feelings but didn't know how. They'd been repressed so long he no longer knew how to act.

"Just tell me what's wrong Harry." Tom begged.

"What's wrong? You want to know what's wrong, do you?" His voice showing hostility. "Well I'll tell you¡K" With that Harry turned towards the sofa where the package he had thrown down earlier was still laid.

It was small and rectangular covered in some kind of blue silk.

Tom looked on nervously at Harry's movements, a bead of sweat forming on his brow at the look on Harry's face when he turned towards him, the small package in his hand.

Harry's look was one of mixed emotions. He looked hesitant, needy, but at the same time prepared, angry, vengeful. Tom took as a step back as Harry took one forward.

Then again.

"You know what I was thinking, Har? We should spend some more time together¡K? I've been kinda neglecting you. What say we spend tomorrow night in the 'Captain Proton' program?"

Harry's eye's lit up with lust at Tom's words, which Tom noticed. //Tom in leather that tightens in all the right places.// He thought. //So I can be his faithful lapdog. The sidekick?//

The lust was soon doused out with the flames of rage, his obsidian eyes going to an almost black in colour.

"Maybe tomorrow, Tom. Right now I want to play with this." He lifted the package slightly; indicating it was 'said' package that he was talking about.

"S-Sure Har. What is it?"

"Well. . ."

Harry moved forward, each step increasing the tension that was already sky-high.

Opening the package caused Tom's jaw to drop as far as it ever had.

"H-H-Harry. . . I mean. . . you. . . I never thought. . ."

"No, you never would, would you Tom? Well, you're so involved with HER," Harry spat. "That you probably don't care anymore, so. . ." Harry indicated what was under the package, an evil glint returning to his eyes.

"I never knew things had got this bad between us Har. Surely there's something I can do. Please Har, don't do this!" Tom begged, no longer nervous, or fearing his best friend but saddened, confused and miserable.

"You didn't seem to need it anymore Tom. Why keep something that isn't any use? I can make good use of it."

"B-B-But. . ." Tom stuttered.

"B-B-But WHAT TOM?" Harry screamed, stuttering like Tom just had.

Tom had stuttered from childhood. He'd managed over the years to make it almost none existent, only coming out when he was extremely nervous, upset or angry.

"S-S-S-S-Something Y-Y-You W-W-Wanna S-S-S-Say T-T-Tom?" Harry stuttered out, loving Tom's reaction. His face was beet red with shame and embarrassment.

"H-Harry." Tom started, the tears starting as he was unable to stop himself from stuttering. His confidence was crumbling and with Harry making fun of every word he spoke Tom was on the verge of hysteria.

"Oh Tom. You did this to yourself. Made this decision. You brought this on yourself Tom. I can't be held to blame for what you have done to yourself." Harry's voice pounded into Tom's head, breaking through the pain coursing through him.

"P-Please, Harry. I need it back." Tom begged, reaching for the package.

"Oh, no Tom. The Teddy is mine. This was made for me using the finest that Alpha quadrant had to offer. A blue/purple fur shaved from the all but extinct Greethoe beast from Andor. A Tholian silk bow, and Romulan gems used for its eyes. Only five of these were ever made. All but this one were lost in the Cardassian/Federation war. This bear means everything to me Tom, everything. I gave it to you because I wanted you. I love you Tom and hoped this would show you how much you mean to me.

It may be a stuffed animal to cuddle down with a night to you, Tom, but for me. . ." Harry paused for breath. "To me this was the last present from my dying father. To me this is as much a proof of love as an engagement ring."

Tom looked at Harry, and Harry at Tom. To Tom the bear symbolised their friendship. The first gift he had got since his mother had died when he was 6. The first signs that his life was getting better. That he had a real, true friend. He had no idea Harry felt that way and couldn't deny he felt something for Harry.

Maybe not love, but. . . something.

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End