"I can't believe David is getting married.
"Why is that so hard to believe?" Ben asks.
"I don't know it just is."
Looking up Ben studies his lover. Ever since he received the invitation Michael had been acting funny distant. Ben had his suspicions but he didn't want to push. When Michael was ready he would tell him.
"Ben, we're happy aren't we?"
The laugh that was working its way out Ben's mouth died as he saw the serious look on Michael face. "How could you even ask that? Of course we're happy. I have never been happier. Aren't you?"
"Yeah of course I am." With one last look he throws the invitation on the table. "Everything's perfect."
"Good. That's settled. Now did I tell you how much I missed you today" he says pulling Michael flush against him. Leaning down for a kiss Ben is surprised when Michael avoids the kiss and pulls out of the embrace.
"What's going on Michael? For the last few days every time I get close you push me away. Why are you distancing yourself from me?"
"Then why did you run away from me when I tried to kiss you?"
"I didn't run away."
"You didn't run away and I suppose it has nothing to do with this." Ben says grabbing the invitation from the table.
"Why would that affect me one way or the other?" The tremble in Michael's voice gives away the lie.
"Because at one time you were in love with him" Ben says placing the invitation down.
"I thought I was in love with him." Michael replies as he fights back the tears.
"You did love him. A part of you still does."
As the tears burn a trail down his face Michael tries hard to deny the words.
"It's only natural. You shared part of your life with David." Pointing to the invitation he continued. "David getting married has got to sting a little."
"I don't care about that. I'm glad he found someone," he says, running his hands through his hair in frustration. "This isn't about David getting married. It's about you. I'm scared of losing you!" Crying freely now he chokes on the words "Everything is so perfect between us that I can't help but think I'm going to fuck this relationship up too."
"Why would you even think that?"
"Because it's what I do. I expect too much from people. Then I bitch when they can't deliver."
"Those aren't your words, Michael." I just might have a talk with Brian when were done here Ben thinks to himself.
"Maybe not, but they're true. I do expect a lot from people. Then I end up pushing them away."
"Michael, you would have to move heaven and earth to get me to leave. Don't you know that by now?"
"Yes, I know. But I also thought that David felt the same and yet he still left."
"So this is about David and you then."
"You don't understand!" Michael says pushing past Ben to put distance between them. "Losing David was hard. I didn't think I would ever get past the loneliness, but I did." Casting his eyes down to hide his tears Michael continues. "But then you came along and I... Look, if I ever lost you, I would cease to exist. I'd be nothing."
Ben does the only thing he can; he listens and waits as Michael fights his inner demons.
Minutes turn into hours as Ben waits for Michael to finish this cleansing of old wounds.
"I told you this isn't about David that was the truth. This is about us. What I feel for you goes so much deeper that I sometimes forget where I stop and you begin." He pauses "I'm scared, Ben." The voice is low, throat rough with tears.
"I know, Baby."
"I don't think I could survive if you ever left me." He knows he sounds pathetic, pleading begging but he doesn't care.
Approaching Michael slowly, Ben clasps his lover to bring their lips together. Hoping to convey in touch what his heart had yet to find words to describe. Love, need, hope, commitment, forever, I want all that with you Michael only you. He puts that and more into the kiss.
Message is received. With a groan Michael reaches out and pulls his lover closer deepening their union. It is only when breathing become necessary that the kiss comes to an end.
Resting his head against his lover's chest, Michael finds the strong drumming of Ben's heart comforting. With a sigh he pulls free of the embrace. "I'm sorry sometimes my insecurities get the better of me."
"I'm not David, Michael. So if you're waiting for me to ask you to leave, you're going to have a long wait." Wrapping his strong arms around Michael's waist, Ben pulls his lover closer so he can whisper the words against his skin. "Because I plan on loving you past forever and then even longer. You are trapped because I will never let you go." Ben reaches down to claim what now belongs to him. The mouth that he now devours and will in turn devour him. The soft silken flesh that trembles under his touch, the dark silken hair color of midnight and the eyes of chocolate that seem to bore into his very soul all of this belongs to Ben.
The words come unbidden to him as he sees the clouds clear from his lover's eyes. And he whispers them against Michael's mouth.
"A breath away from where you are, I've come home from so far."
Breaking the kiss Michael adds breathlessly, "You stole that line."
"Yeah, but its how I feel. How I'm going to make you feel starting tonight until..."
"Past forever." Michael finishes for him.
"Then even longer, Baby."
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