Little Shop of Not Such a Horror

Whoever his bedmate was, Jack decided groggily, he was one *big* sonuvabitch because he had him draped over his lap like a five-year-old. Not that he was complaining, mind you. He had a fondness for good-sized lovers, good-sized in *all* departments, and if the hands holding him at the back and waist were any indication, his new one wasn't going to be a disappointment.

Wanting to get the action started, he snuggled his backside into the crotch under him, murmuring appreciatively while he nuzzled the chest at his nose, glad he had gone commando as usual so there was as little as possible between them. Guy had a nice scent, too - spicy and unusual, but familiar, somehow. Another restless squirm helped him find a patch of bare skin, at the neck and he sampled it with a small lick. Oh, yeah, tasty, definitely tasty.

"O'Neill," Teal'c warned quietly, the rumble of it against his cheek finally turning on the lights in Jack's head. No wonder the smell was familiar.

"Let me guess," he said wryly, freezing in place. "I missed something really important, right?"

"You were stung by a Gartang."

"That wasn't good, was it?" Hastily Jack ran a quick inventory of body parts and their functions. He had everything, but his left leg was bare from the thigh down, boot gone, revealing a swollen calf that had no sensation in it at all. Feeling like he weighed a ton, the only movement he could manage for the most part was small things - talking or twiddling his fingers.

"If you had been alone when attacked, it would have been fatal," Teal'c said calmly. "The plant's venom paralyzes its victim long enough for the rootlets in the soil to dissolve the skin and muscle. Once that occurs, blood loss quickly results in death. As it is, you will be unable to regain full mobility for some hours."

"A plant did this to me?" Jack said indignantly. "I don't remember stopping to smell the roses! In fact...." He paused to consider, "The last thing I do remember was taking point on the way back to the gate after we finished our meeting with those not so friendly natives."

"A sneezing episode caused DanielJackson to pause, and SamanthaCarter waited with him to assist if necessary. During that time you reached the colony, and it attacked. As I have encountered the Gartang before, I knew how to temporarily disarm them in order to effect a retrieval."

"And we didn't go back through the gate because...." Jack let his voice rise questioningly on the last word.

"It is too large a colony to transverse. If we attempted to disable the closest members of it to pass through, by the time we neared the other side those plants behind us would have re-armed. It also encloses us on all sides; herding prey is a common strategy for the species."

"You make it sound intelligent for pete's sake," O'Neil complained.

"The Ga'ould believe it may possess a hive mind with limited abilities," Teal'c said imperturbably. "At the least it is a highly effective predator. By day it is a harmless parasite living concealed on the underside of unremarkable flora."

"Which explains why we didn't have any trouble getting past it earlier," Jack mumbled to himself, annoyed with being taken out by a *plant.*

As if he hadn't been interrupted, Teal'c finished, "After darkness falls, it moves to the top of its host and waits for the unwary to pass within the border of its root system. It is only after the animal is deeply within its sphere of influence, unable to thrash or run beyond it after the first sting of the dart, that it strikes. Circumstances favored us very highly in that were defensible retreats nearby."

"Well, if we're so lucky, why are we all sitting here in the dark instead of back at the base?" Jack said reasonably. "Daniel and Sam *are* nearby, right? They didn't become plant food?"

"This rock out-cropping was not large enough for all of us - DanielJackson is five yards away to our south on the top of a boulder, Major Carter a few feet beyond him."

Automatically Jack reached for the microphone attached to his uniform at the shoulder. His hand only managed a few wobbly inches before flopping back in his lap. Without commenting Teal'c pressed the mike button for him. "Carter? Daniel? Report in."

"Good to hear from you, sir," Sam said promptly. "Did Teal'c tell you that the Gartang are dangerous to Ga'ould? They tried to exterminate them because of it."

"That is true, O'Neill," Teal'c confirmed. "They had thought themselves successful; indeed, this is the first infestation I have seen since I trained with Master Bray'tac."

"So the enemy of my enemy is my....lunch?" Jack quipped. "Let me guess. Daniel, you and Sam are trying to figure out a way to communicate with them to make them our allies."

"Well, I haven't got anything better to do at the moment," Daniel said dryly.

"Never thought the practice I had talking to my house plants would come in handy," Sam added.

Reassured that his teammates not only weren't harmed, but were in good spirits, Jack said, "If anybody can figure out how to get a petunia to respond, it's you two. Let us know if you have any progress. Out."

To Teal'c he said, "I take it at dawn these man-eating rose bushes of ours will go back to being harmless."

"The Gartang are dormant during the daylight hours," Teal'c agreed.

"And they can't get up on our nice, comfy rock here. Thank you by the way for providing padding."

"They cannot, and this seemed the most efficient method of assuring I had not overlooked a means by which the Gartang could reach you while you were unconscious."

Closing his eyes to the dimly lit world, Jack sighed. "Well since nothing can get through them to get to us, and they most likely can't get to us either, I think I'll let you have the first watch. Being paralyzed is a lot more tiring than it looks." He dragged up an eyelid to peek at his friend and added, "That is, if I'm not too heavy for you, here. Your job description does not include being a cushion for me."

"Rest would be wise, O'Neill, and I do not find your weight...disagreeable."

For a split second Jack could have sworn there was something under the innocuous words, but there wasn't enough light to see his friend's expression clearly, and reading Teal'c meant reading the fine print. "Don't hesitate to dump me if it gets to be too much," he said lamely, and went back to trying to catch a few z's.

Like any good soldier, he had learned a long time ago to sleep when he could, and to sleep lightly; survival depended on it. So when something began bumping at his hip, he woke completely, instantly, without moving, slitting his eyes to see he could spot the danger. Nothing had changed from when he'd dozed off, though the air had that subtly colder feel to it that meant on just about any world he'd been on that dawn was coming. Under his ear he could hear Teal'c's heartbeat, steady and even, and he doubted seriously anything threatening would have gotten past the Jaffa's awareness.

He started to nod off when it happened again, and this time it was obvious where the nudges were coming from. His instant reaction was to jump away or to at least sit up straight, but his numbed body only twitched violently.

"O'Neill?"

Pretending was generally not the best thing to do with Teal'c, so he said, hoping a smile came across in his voice, "Please tell me that's a hard-on and not Junior poking at me."

Instantly the massive body under him tensed, becoming almost indistinguishable from the stone around them. But Teal'c answered in his usual measured tones, "The larva has become aware of your nearness and is investigating."

"Investigating?" That did *not* sound good and brought up too many memories of a snakehead looking at him as a potential host.

Apparently discerning the cause for Jack's alarm, Teal'c elaborated. "For the infant Ga'ould, the only possible reason for prolonged physical nearness is for procreation. It is seeking to approve of my selection of sexual partners, as it is far too immature to understand there may be other causes for such proximity."

Blinking, Jack mulled that over, then said indignantly, "Approve! You're telling me you can't have a roll in the hay unless Junior says you can?"

Much of the tension in Teal'c was ebbing away, and he said with a tiny trace of humor, "Given the location of its pouch, interfering is easily accomplished."

Jack made a face. "Point. Bet your girlfriends and wife *loved* having to be told it was okay before they could have fun."

"It is difficult to accept." The humor was gone, leaving behind only the flat resignation with which Teal'c faced the unchangeable.

"I'll bet," Jack muttered, feeling like he'd put his foot in it. Fortunately it seemed Teal'c was willing to let it rest, and he tried to relax again, doing his best to ignore Junior's continued prodding.

"Jack."

Startled because Teal'c *never* used his first name, he blurted, "Huh?" and then waited to be tossed to the people-eating plants for being a clod.

"You did not seem to object to the other possibility you mentioned." Teal'c had never sounded more inscrutable, which meant he had to be hiding something important.

Because of that, and because he considered the Jaffa a friend as well as a teammate, Jack said honestly, "Well, no, I wouldn't have minded if you had been feeling frisky. Hell, it didn't seem to bother you when I came out of it acting a little frisky myself."

"You thought I was a former lover?"

"Or a new one." Okay, he thought, true confessions time. Something big was obviously on Teal'c's mind, and maybe a little honesty about his sordid past would help. "I went through a rough patch before I married Sarah - for a while there it wouldn't have surprised me who I woke up with or where, sorry to say. Hope that doesn't, ah, disgust you too much."

"It does not." The huge arms cradling him tightened almost imperceptibly. "It pleases me that you found me acceptable."

Hope and renewed desire warmed Jack's guts and he said carefully, "Never heard you or Daniel mention what the Ga'ould thought of same-sex relations. Thought it might not matter since we're talking about a parasite that will take whatever body is handy, if necessary."

"The infant Ga'ould have definite gender preferences, though true females, queens, are rare," Teal's answered. "However, they do not tolerate homosexuality among their slaves; it interferes with maintaining the population. It is especially forbidden among the Jaffar, where loyalty to a fellow warrior might conflict with loyalty to the Ga'ould."

"I don't want know what they do to their gays or lesbians, do I?" Considering some of the atrocities earth humans were capable of, he couldn't even imagine how much farther the snakeheads were capable of going.

"You do not."

"Didn't think so." Jack thought he might as well come out with it, since Teal'c was a straightforward kind of guy, and he stated rather than asked, "You're gay, aren't you."

"I am." Though the Jaffa didn't move at all, Jack was willing to swear there was a softening in Teal'c, the kind that came from confessing a secret you'd been carrying by yourself for far too long.

"Then you probably ought to know that I find you *way* more than acceptable," Jack murmured, both because it was the truth and because it the best way to tell his friend that he understood the burden he lived with.

"There are rules and regulations against such things in your armed forces," Teal'c reminded him gently, but there was no denying he was holding Jack more closely, almost cuddling him.

"I know, believe me, I know. But the longer I'm in the service, the more stargate missions I go on, the harder it is for me to buy into some of those rules and regs. Too many of them are based on what textbook officers think textbook soldiers should do in textbook situations. We haven't run into too many of those."

"That does not negate the dangers. Nor the difficulties."

"And rules and regs don't sway your friends or stop them from helping you," Jack shot back. "Especially when they don't necessarily agree with them in the first place. Are you honestly worried about Sam or Daniel turning on either of us because of our sexual preferences?"

He was quiet for so long that Jack began to worry that maybe the big lunk *did* believe that it was a possibility. "Teal'c!"

"Forgive me, O'Neill. It is simply that I have lived with total secrecy for so long that it is very difficult for me to accept that it is no longer required." It was the closest he'd ever heard the Jaffa to sounding uncertain, and Jack tilted back his head to make eye contact to reassure him.

"I understand that. They will, too." Daringly he touched the center of Teal'c's bottom lip, shivering minutely at the soft, lush feel. "So I guess the question is, does Junior approve of me?"

The stirring this time was definitely *not* from Junior, and Teal'c's face was transformed to a mask of barely controlled need that was as scary as it was exciting. But he said hoarsely, "He does not; you are male."

"Fuck." Jack rarely swore, but couldn't think of a better reason. "Is there anyway to sedate him or something? Maybe take him out of you completely?" Without intending it as torment, he squirmed on the ridge forming under his backside, trying to get comfortable on it. The lips under his still exploring finger parted to allow panting breaths to escape, and he had to fight the urge to slide his finger in to sample the heat and moistness beyond them.

"There is a way." Teal'c whispered. "You will find it distasteful."

That gave Jack pause, because he'd finally gotten the idea that Teal'c had rarely, possibly *never* had the opportunity to have what he really needed. He wasn't going to offer, then leave him tied in knots because he couldn't go through with whatever it took to satisfy a Jaffar. "Can't hurt to tell me," he said at last.

"The one within me is very immature still, and susceptible to certain needs of its own," Teal'c began indirectly.

Trying to patient, but having trouble because the cock under him was every bit as huge as he'd hoped earlier it would be, Jack mumbled, "Yeah?"

"It requires large amounts of protein, which is usually provided by my diet. However, there are certain protein liquids it can ingest directly, and one in particular is very...satisfying for it."

"Liquid protein," Jack repeated doubtfully, vaguely wondering where in the hell would they get that here. Then Teal'c gingerly cupped his arousal through his pants, thumb settling significantly over the wet spot at the tip of his hard-on. If he hadn't been about to shoot from that single touch, Jack would have lost it entirely.

As it was a cold fist clenched in his stomach, and he asked bluntly. "Come? It likes come? Are you telling me that Junior is a cocksucker?" He shuddered. "No way am I letting it near me like that, Teal'c. I'll do whatever I can to help you ignore or work around it, but I'd never be able get it up, let alone finish under those circumstances."

"Nor would it co-operate with such an activity," Teal'c assured him calmly, "Because of the source. But if I offer semen as a supplement, it would accept it from me and be somnambulant for a time, allowing us to do what we wish."

"Like bribing a kid with candy. You know this because?"

"As youths we are encouraged not to waste the natural product of hormonal activity," Teal'c nearly intoned, as if instructing an adolescent himself.

"You feed Junior when you jerk off," Jack translated. He thought about it hard, encouraged by the careful pressure over his aching arousal. "You give me a hand job, feed my cream to Junior, and then we can do what we want. Okay. I can manage that." He pushed up against the hand on him. "In fact, if you don't stop, we're going to be able to manage that right now."

With a soft sigh that was more erotic than anything Jack had ever heard before, Teal'c reciprocated by pressing his hips up into Jack's bottom, his erection a fiery brand against it. "Please."

Jack had the idea he didn't know exactly what he was begging for, and he curled a hand around the thick column of the Jaffa's neck to pull him down until they were almost nose-to-nose. "What? What is it you're starving for, Teal'c? To be sucked? To suck? To have your ass filled? Or to claim a tight, little pucker with that huge dick of yours? I'd do any and all of it for you, but you gotta give me a clue, here."

He didn't understand the answer, and before he could ask Teal'c to repeat it, those incredible lips covered his in a kiss that knocked away everything but the need for relief, now. Thick fingers fumbled at his fly, and he tried to help as best he could, but the moment the calloused palm closed over his shaft he was lost. Instinctively keeping his moans down to harsh grunts, he pumped into the loose tunnel, his climax speeding through him in an undeniable rush.

Teal'c muffled his shout of completion by deepening their kiss, then gentled it as the shock of pleasure passed, almost nursing at Jack's lower lip. When he went limp with the aftermath, Teal'c dug under his shirt, his palm glistening with Jack's offering. Fascinated in spite of himself, Jack watched the vague moments under the fabric, guessing that his lover was shoving through the pouch opening to leave the sperm there. "That's gotta hurt," he mumbled, but the hard-on under him didn't soften in the slightest, and a moment later there was an unmistakable gleam of satisfaction in Teal'c's eyes.

"It will be occupied for some time now, first devouring all traces, then resting to absorb the fluid."

"Good, I'm glad it's happy. What can I do to make *you* happy?"

Teal'c hesitated, then slid his hand down to cup Jack's ass. "It is forbidden," he whispered hoarsely, "But what I desire most."

"Sounds good to me, too," Jack said, trying to shift positions so that he was astride his companion's lap. "In fact, sounds pretty damned terrific." Clumsily he got one leg to co-operate, but the injured one, for the first time buzzing unpleasantly with the promise of pain, refused to work. "Give me hand here, willya?"

"Your injury," Teal'c said with surprise. "I had forgotten. Perhaps..."

"Perhaps nothing," Jack interrupted. "I *want* you Teal'c. Look." He waved in the general direction of his opened pants where he had more than half a hard-on showing. "I'm damn near dying for it. Come on, don't leave me hanging." Jack knew he was playing dirty, going for Teal'c's conscience, but didn't see any other way to coax him past his sudden, very uncharacteristic attack of nerves. Besides the heat from the Jaffa was *scorching.* He had to need it bad.

Bracing himself by the forearms on Teal'c's shoulders, he got himself turned with his friend's help, then reached down between them to undo his new lover's zipper. "Whoa!" he breathed reverently, needing both hands to take out the massive dick. "I gotta get this in me."

His unmitigated lust seemed to be the last straw for Teal'c. With a powerful yank, he tore at the fabric still covering Jack's injured leg, ripping it all the way to the crotch and into the other half of the pants. With trembling fingers he probed at the revealed pucker, his cock leaping as if to find its own way there.

"Lube," Jack muttered, half to himself, groping for the pack beside him. "Been too long and you're too big."

Teal'c gave no sign of hearing or understanding the comment. Holding Jack tightly at the waist, he lifted him high enough to get them properly aligned, nearly making Jack drop the sunscreen he'd snagged just in time.

"Let me handle the first part," Jacked said hastily, not sure his lover knew the basics. "Take you at my own speed, okay? You hang in there."

"Please." God, he was getting addicted to hearing Teal'c whisper that word in that ravenous, not quite in control tone of voice.

Reaching back Jack prepared himself as quickly as he could, almost as aroused as he had been earlier. Then he slicked up Teal'c, a violent stab of lust going through him when his lover quietly moaned his name. Shakily kneeling up, depending on the Jaffa to keep him steady, he aimed the plum-dark head of Teal'c's cock at his entrance, and gingerly sat down on it, letting out a slow breath as he did.

"Fucking huge," he groaned, the stretched muscle burning in complaint as it was breached. "Love it, though." He took a few inches, rose up to relieve some of the pressure, then settled back down, taking a bit more and feeling the first bit of give in his channel, the first wave of pleasure.

As good as it was, it was the sight of Teal'c, head thrown back, throat exposed, mouth-hanging open as he fought for air that hit him hardest. New hunger clenched his insides, over-riding his body's lingering weakness, and he began to ride more impatiently, wanting it all, wanting it now. Within minutes he was sitting flat on his lover's lap, internal muscles flexing happily around the mammoth pole lodged up his ass.

"Damn," he said so thickly it was hardly a word. Laying his head in the center of Teal'c's chest, arms around his neck, he relaxed as much as he could, then trying to say it the same way his lover did, murmured, "Please."

A fine tremor shimmied through Teal'c's tautly held muscles, and he experimentally thrust up the tiniest bit. "Jack," he whispered. "Tanya...oh..." The next thrust was more sure, then Jack rode down on the one after that, making Teal'c explode into a flurry of wild pumping that was both rough and tender.

Jack had no idea if he could finish again, but he didn't care. The primal pounding he was getting was all he really needed, and giving Teal'c what *he* needed soothed some wounded place in his own soul. And to judge by the way Teal'c was using him, he might not have time. With that in mind, he concentrated on making it good for his lover, hardly noticing the demands of his own body in the process.

It wasn't until he felt something odd on the head of his dick that Jack realized that Teal'c's shirt had ridden up, and he was rubbing onto the branded tissue of Junior's pouch. To his shock, it sent a thrill into him, a nasty one that was half-triumphant, half-mean. The larval Ga'ould was twisting, bumping at the entrance, but Jack's weight kept it inside, no matter how hard it tried. Nor was it distracting Teal'c; at this point Jack thought nothing could have kept him from getting what he so desperately wanted.

"Gotcha, you little bastard," he crowed silently to himself. "You want to stop us, huh? Can't stand the fact that your so-called slave is getting some ass? Or are you jealous cause *you* want my load for yourself? Is that it? Want some more come, you pathetic worm? Want it?" Jack rocked down hard on Teal'c's cock, putting his weight into getting it in even father. "Want it?" he unintentionally said aloud.

"Yes!" Teal'c whispered, the sound barely touching his lips. "Yes, yes, yes, yes.... Tanay!" With a last gigantic surge up, forcing Jack down at the hips, he shot deep inside him, flooding him with liquid fire.

"God, Teal'c..." Jack clenched around the rod, the pulses of release from it throbbing through his own cock. "God." The unexpected bursts of sensation were all it took, and he fell into his own release, sagging bonelessly onto his lover while his mind dissolved into the intense pleasure.

Without intending too, he nearly slipped from bliss to rest, but when Teal'c's fingers slipped between them to scoop up his seed, he roused, inching back enough that his lover had access to Junior's pouch. "Waste not, want not?"

"It will make him more amenable to your presence if it is associated with protein."

Underneath the calm words was a question, and Jack leaned back so that Teal'c could see his expression. "I suppose he should be fed regularly," he leered, delighted when one of Teal'c's eyebrows went up in mild surprise, the dick inside him stirring lazily.

"That could be very beneficial," Teal'c agreed, with the barest quirk of humor on his lips.

"That it could," Jack said grinning. "That it could." Reluctantly, pain beginning to nag through his euphoria, he sat back on his heels and pulled Teal'c's shirt into place. "Dawn's coming; we'd better get tidied up here before Sam and Daniel show."

"I had not thought," Teal'c said in alarm, sitting up straighter. "Dr. Fraiser...."

"Been around the block a few times, Teal'c. I know what to do to keep her off track. Besides, we have a perfect excuse here for the shredded pants and a few odd bruises or two." With a pained sigh, he pulled free of Teal'c, when all he really wanted to do was go to sleep just the way they were and wake up to a nice, leisurely screwing. It only took a few minutes to get things re-arranged, Jack deciding he'd tie his outer shirt around his waist before going through the stargate to keep from flashing everyone in the Gate Room.

He started to curl into a warm spot to try to sleep a little more, but Teal'c gently hauled him back into his lap. "As you have said we have a sound reason for physical closeness."

He gestured at the area around the rock, and Jack realized that the dawn had brightened the sky enough that for the first time he could see the Gartang closely surrounding their rock. It looked like they were on an island in the midst of a sea of white and pale blue blossoms, one that was slowly sinking under the insubstantial weight of those flowers. "They can't get up here, right?" he asked, suddenly nervous.

"They could, but if we were subdued while out of the reach of their root system, it would be a waste of a sting." He pointed with his staff to several dark spots in the center of a slowly closing flower. "Gas propelled at a very low velocity, and it must generate more for another attempt. It is a very pragmatic species; if one meal escapes with the coming of the day, another will be caught tomorrow. It does not seem to have the ability to theorize that the lost prey may come back and destroy it."

"That's how they get through Ga'ould shields, then." Jack yawned, burrowed in closer to Teal'c's warmth, and added, "Paralyzing them makes the snake helpless. No wonder they tried to exterminate them all. Wonder if Sam or Daniel had any luck with figuring out a way to get them to help or use them or something."

"We will ask them in time. Now rest; the journey to the gate will be unpleasant and you should conserve your resources." Tender fingers brushed through his hair, smoothing it in place for no other reason that to touch.

Jack smiled at that and wrapped his arms around Teal'c's waist, obediently closing his eyes. They popped back open a moment later when Junior bumped imperiously into him, then squirmed, as if looking for something. "You okay?" he asked, tensing to move away if necessary.

Teal'c's eyes became distant, as if he were consulting some inner guru, then he said slowly, "I believe it is seeking more nourishment."

As in on cue, Junior bumped at him again, more insistently, and Jack shook his head, wagging a finger at his lover's tummy. "Going to have to re-name you Audrey3," he said mockingly to the Ga'ould.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Never mind, Teal'c, never mind. As long as the thing doesn't stick out its head and demand, 'feed me,' in a deep baritone, you don't really need to know."

finis